Resisting Love

by Kat Bellemore

  Leanne started to nod—pretending like everything was fine—but the movement morphed into a shaking of her head. Nothing was okay. She’d come back from LA a failure, not having accomplished the one thing she’d set out to do and managing to lose the love of her life in the process. But because she’d been acting like everything was fine, everyone in town was planning her and Isaac’s wedding—a wedding that would never happen. If that wasn’t enough, her entire body ached because of a brief moment of incredible stupidity on her part. Seriously, who closed their eyes when riding a bike?

  Leanne didn’t need to say a word for her friend to understand.

  “I’m throwing in two boxes, but not to share,” Adeline said, placing them in a bag. “These are all for you. And I know how much you like the mint ones, so you get one of those too.” She paused. “Does this mean I should hold off on the chocolate fountain?”

  “Indefinitely,” Leanne said. She’d been trying to stay busy helping her parents at the bed and breakfast, ignoring the feelings she’d buried deep inside. Leanne had even managed to keep them from resurfacing when Isaac had come to her rescue that afternoon, her physical pain helping mask the emotional pain.

  But now…with Adeline watching her, obvious concern etched in her features, Leanne felt herself losing her walls—her composure.

  “This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen,” she managed to choke out. “None of it.”

  Adeline looked like she wanted to hug Leanne again, but thankfully refrained. “What happened?” she asked instead, her voice soft. “You two have been together for your entire lives. I can’t imagine you two not being together and—” She cut off, seeming at a loss for words.

  Leanne knew the feeling.

  “I betrayed him,” she said, lifting one shoulder. “And I can’t fix it. He hates me.”

  With a shake of her head, Adeline said, “He could never hate you. That man has been a mess ever since you left.”

  Oh, great. Now Leanne felt worse.

  Adeline must have seen it in Leanne’s expression because she raised a hand and said, “Let me finish. He’s been a mess, because a part of his heart left with you. But now that you’re back, you can help him become whole again.”

  Leanne wished that were true. “One person doesn’t hold that kind of power—shouldn’t hold that kind of power.”

  Adeline walked across the shop to a display shelf on the opposite end. “I would normally agree with you. But you two—you’re different.” She picked up a box. “I’m throwing in a box of caramel pecan, just for good measure.”

  “Don’t you think it would be better for me to stop holding on to hope for something that I don’t deserve, though? Because that’s the fact of the matter—I don’t deserve Isaac. And I think he knows it.”

  Just then, the door to the chocolate shop burst open, and both Leanne and Adeline whipped toward the disruption.

  There stood Isaac, panting, his gaze on Adeline. Leanne’s purse was slung over one of his shoulders, so it crossed his chest and rested on his opposite hip. “Have you seen Leanne? She had an accident, and I was waiting for her at the clinic, but I had to use the bathroom and…” His voice trailed off as Adeline gave a pointed look in Leanne’s direction.

  His gaze traveled to Leanne, and relief smoothed out his wrinkled forehead. “Oh my gosh,” he said, placing a hand over his chest. “I came out of the bathroom and Patty said you’d already left.” He sat down on a stool at the display counter. Isaac must have been booking it, considering the good shape he was in and how hard he was breathing now. “I assumed you’d go home to rest like a normal person. I grabbed your bike and threw it in the back of the car and delivered it to the bed and breakfast, but Jules said she hadn’t seen you and had no idea you’d been in an accident.” He paused to catch a breath. “By the way, she says ‘I told you so’ about the helmet.” Isaac stood again, like the adrenaline of looking for Leanne made his body incapable of sitting still. “I should have known that you are anything but normal and would value chocolate over your own health.”

  “Hey, I’ve been taking good care of her,” Adeline protested. “Aside from crushing her in a bear hug.”

  Isaac raised an eyebrow.

  “In my defense, I didn’t know about her injuries at the time.”

  Leanne took a tentative step toward him. “I’m sorry I worried you. I thought—well, you weren’t there when I finished up with Patty. I figured you’d…”

  “Left,” he answered for her. That thought alone seemed to cause him just as much pain as when he hadn’t known where she was. Isaac gave a small shake of his head. “I’d never leave you, Lenny.”

  She started at the use of her nickname but didn’t have a chance to process it because his phone sprang to life, a 1980s rock song filling the small shop.

  Isaac glanced at his phone. “Oh, shoot, it’s Caleb. I promised him I’d have his car back to him an hour ago, and I left it at the other end of the boardwalk. He and Bree have a date planned for tonight.” His gaze flitted between Adeline and Leanne, like he didn’t know what to do.

  “I’ll make sure she gets home safely,” Adeline said with a smile. “You better get Caleb’s car back to him. He already threatened to not let you use it again after last time, when you drove it into a bank of mud. You wouldn’t want to give him another reason.”

  “Empty threats,” Isaac said, but he still seemed anxious about it. He turned to Leanne. “You sure you’re okay?”

  Leanne gave him a small smile, wanting to ease his unwarranted guilt. “I’m fine. Besides, the longer I stay, the more free chocolate Addie gives me.”

  Isaac laughed at that. “Yup, you’re fine.” He gave them both a quick wave and moved to hurry back out the door.

  “Can I have my purse back, though?” she called after him. “It looks good on you and all, but it’s not exactly your color. If I were you, I’d go with more of a magenta.”

  Isaac paused mid-stride and turned back, an embarrassed smile playing on his lips. “Oh, right. Sorry. I found it a few yards from where your bike was. Some stuff spilled out, but I think I got it all.” He bent his head as he lifted the purse over it and held it out to her.

  “Thank you. It means more than you know,” she said, hugging the purse to her chest.

  He didn’t respond, only held her gaze for a moment, then gave her a small nod and disappeared through the door.

  As soon as he’d left, Adeline turned a smirk on Leanne. “You still sure that he hates you?”

  Leanne stared at where he’d stood just moments before. “Um…yes?” It was easier to try to believe that—better than the yo-yo action her heart had been doing lately.

  Adeline shook her head, like she didn’t know what she was going to do with Leanne. “I’m going to send you with Isaac’s favorite, strawberry daiquiri. Just in case.”

  All that meant was that Leanne was going to have more chocolate to eat herself, because there wasn’t going to be any just in case.

  At least, she didn’t think so.

  But after the interaction she’d just experienced, she was starting to question it.

  11

  Isaac walked the beach, taking in the sunset. He couldn’t believe it was October already. The summer had gone by quickly. Small groups lounged on a mixture of chairs and blankets. Not many tourists were left, but each evening, the locals more than made up for it. Children and dogs ran along the beach, inadvertently spraying sand on those they passed. People didn’t mind, though, laughing instead. It was a part of the Starlight Ridge sunset ritual.

  “Hey, Isaac, over here,” someone called from his left. He squinted against the sinking sun, bringing up a hand to shade his eyes. Someone stood next to a chair, frantically waving their arms. As Isaac approached, he realized it was Jessie.

  “Hi, Jess,” he said, inwardly squirming but giving her a warm smile. Anytime she’d spoken with him lately, it had always been about Leanne, and he really wasn’t in the mood right then. Or ever.
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br />   Jessie was picking up a jacket that lay across the arm of her folding chair and slipping her arms into its sleeves. “It’s starting to get a bit chilly in the evenings.”

  Isaac wondered what Jessie really wanted to ask him. She’d certainly not been waving her arms like that because she wanted to talk about the drop in temperature.

  Jessie scanned the beach like she was looking for someone, but then her gaze returned to Isaac. “Would you like to join me? I saw you walking alone and thought you might like some company.” She nodded to a chair that sat next to hers. “I brought an extra, just in case.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Isaac said, both taken aback and relieved by the offer.

  Jessie smirked. “You sound surprised.”

  “No, I just…don’t usually watch it with anyone. That’s all.”

  She gave him a pat on his arm as he sat down next to her. “I understand. I’ve watched the sunset out here every evening for years, always by myself. And I enjoy that. But sometimes I get tired of doing things alone. I figured if I set out a chair, I would be bound to have company.” Jessie smiled at him in her motherly way. “And here you are.”

  Isaac didn’t point out that their meeting hadn’t been by chance—that she had been the one to wave him down. But it also got him thinking about how he had never even noticed that Jessie didn’t have company in the evenings. He was always in his own little world, worried about himself, and Jessie was the type of person who was so social, he’d never have thought she’d be without company.

  Jessie threw him a side glance. “I would have thought you’d be with your fiancée tonight. Isn’t that why you young people come out to the sunset, to be all romantic?”

  And here it was. Jessie was good. Too good. She’d known he couldn’t easily escape now that he’d agreed to join her.

  Isaac had two choices here. Dispel the rumors so people would stop their speculating and awkward comments, or be vague and have them continuously asking about wedding plans for the rest of eternity.

  “If I had a fiancée, I would probably be here with her,” he said, his gaze fixed on the ocean. If he hadn’t known better, he’d have thought it was on fire, reflecting the bright oranges and reds of the setting sun.

  After a moment of silence, he chanced a glance in Jessie’s direction. She was watching him and wearing a quizzical expression. When she didn’t say anything, he sighed and turned back to the ocean. “People change.”

  “So, no wedding?” Jessie finally asked. The disappointment in her voice was evident.

  “No wedding.” He didn’t manage to hide his own disappointment and the deep longing he felt, wishing things had ended up differently. Isaac knew the wedding couldn’t happen, but he’d never said it out loud before. In that moment, his anger dissipated, and all that was left was…nothing. Because that was how life felt without Leanne. Empty. Hollow. He had tried to fill that void when she was gone, but with her back—

  Jessie leaned back in her chair. “I suppose I’ll need to start giving away all those cakes I’ve been baking, then.”

  Isaac’s gaze whipped back to her. “What cakes?”

  “I told you I’d make your wedding cake,” she said, like it should have been obvious.

  Except, there had never been a wedding date. How long had she been planning on holding onto them? Isaac couldn’t think of a tactful way to ask that, though, so he settled for, “I’ll buy them from you.”

  Jessie looked at him like he was crazy. “Why would you do that? Half of them were duds, though they’ll still taste good.”

  “Duds?”

  “Yeah, the ones that didn’t turn out,” Jessie said. “I’ve been practicing so that when it came time for the real thing, it would be perfect. I bake a lot, but wedding cakes aren’t my specialty. Haven’t had enough people getting married around here to worry about it.”

  Now Isaac felt worse. She’d been practicing in preparation for a wedding that was never set to happen. He wished there was a way to make it up to Jessie, but it was obvious that she wouldn’t let him pay her for her time. “Why did you sell your bakery in the first place?” he asked. “It was always packed, even in the off-season. And you obviously still love baking. The only difference is that you’re not getting paid for it anymore.”

  Jessie gave him a patient smile. “Keeping up with the tourists… It wasn’t fun anymore.”

  “You sold your bakery because you weren’t having… fun?” Truthfully, it was the type of thing Isaac would do, but most people didn’t view the world the same way he did. Isaac only needed enough money to keep surfing. That was his happy place. Apparently, pastries and cakes were Jessie’s.

  Jessie shrugged, her smile firmly intact. “What good is your life if you aren’t enjoying it? I still do some part-time stuff over at the bed and breakfast, but I knew early on I wouldn’t want to work forever.” She stretched her legs out and leaned back in her chair. “I saved almost everything I earned, getting ready for the inevitable day when I’d no longer want to cater to tourist season.” Her smile widened. “And now I get to never stop having fun.”

  Never stop having fun. That was practically Isaac’s motto. It felt nice knowing that he wasn’t the only one in town who felt that way.

  “Of course, I wouldn’t have minded having someone by my side to share the fun with,” Jessie added. “Someone…special.” She didn’t even try to hide the implication.

  That was all well for Jessie to say, but he doubted she’d have been able to do everything she’d done if she’d been married. Take Caleb, for example. He always had to ask Bree before he did things now, always had to make sure they didn’t already have plans.

  Now that he thought about it, he should be thanking Leanne for leaving. If they’d gotten married and had kids like they’d planned, they’d have needed a large enough home to fit all of them. Which would have meant getting a real job that could give them real money. Which would mean giving up lifeguarding. They’d be busy at night with the kids, and as soon as they woke up, he’d be helping get them ready for school or getting them breakfast, so his early morning surfing sessions would go out the window.

  Goodbye freedom, hello responsibility.

  Isaac wasn’t that type of guy. He was more teenager and less adult. Leanne had always been the ambitious one in their relationship, going after her dreams. She never would have been happy with a guy who had no real goals but lived his life one day at a time.

  Except, she had been happy. Hadn’t she?

  And the thought of early mornings with the kids and Leanne—it didn’t sound so bad. Actually, he thought it would be nice.

  This was all too much. His mind was reeling, begging him to stop torturing himself.

  “I should get going,” he told Jessie, and stood to leave. He hesitated a brief moment. “I’m sorry about the cakes.”

  Jessie waved him off. “Don’t be. But…” She seemed to be having a hard time forming her thoughts into words, until she finally just shrugged. “Other people aren’t going to take the news well…of you two splitting up. I’m not sure Leanne’s mother even knows. Last time I took a delivery out to the bed and breakfast, she seemed to think that all was well with you two.”

  Leanne hadn’t even told her mom? Why would she string everyone along like that? Maybe she still thought something was going to progress between them, especially after the bike accident. She might have thought that had meant something. Of course, for a moment, so had he. The feel of her in his arms again, the memories that had resurfaced as he’d helped her fill out the paperwork in Patty’s office—it had spurred all sorts of thoughts and feelings he shouldn’t be having.

  “What do you mean they aren’t going to take the news well?”

  The sun was nearly gone, and Jessie stood, joining him. She stared at the sky, where stars were becoming more visible. “This town is a family, and we love each of you as our own. We’ve watched you two grow up. Fall in love. And we’ve been looking forward to your wedding for the past fif
teen years. Now?” Her gaze met his. “They’re going to try to figure out what went wrong. You’re taking something from them, and they might try to lay blame.”

  “You mean…blame us?”

  Jessie gave a quick nod. “Or one of you.”

  “They’ll take sides,” Isaac said slowly.

  “I’m not saying it’s right,” she said, holding her hands up defensively. “But when you’re as close-knit as this town is, and you’ve been planning your vacation around when the wedding might happen or planning what your contribution will be, whether it’s food or a chocolate fountain…or the wedding cake…people will take it personally.”

  Isaac rubbed a hand over his face. “People have seriously been planning vacations around this?”

  “As soon as Patty heard Leanne was back in town, and then you two showed up at her clinic…she postponed planning a trip out to the East Coast. She’s waiting to hear the finalized wedding date before she books anything.”

  Okay. This was getting ridiculous. Isaac groaned. “I can’t just get married because someone else postponed their vacation. Or ordered extra shrimp. It doesn’t work like that.”

  Jessie folded up her chair, then reached for the one Isaac had been sitting on. He folded it and handed it to her. “No, it doesn’t,” she agreed. “But the town won’t see it like that. Just thought I’d give you fair warning.”

  “I appreciate it, but it doesn’t change anything.” He turned to leave but paused and glanced over his shoulder. “You can spread the word that Leanne and I are not getting married.” The words felt like knives in this throat, but he couldn’t go on deluding himself.

  That was supposed to be Isaac’s grand exit where he walked off the beach, confident and in charge. Except, Erwin had walked past at that moment and overheard. He stopped in his tracks.

  “You and Leanne aren’t getting married?” Erwin’s gaze whipped to Jessie. “He’s kidding, right?”

  Jessie released a long sigh, like she didn’t want to have to deal with Erwin at that moment. “No, he’s not kidding. The wedding is off.”