Damaged Gods (Monsters of Saint Mark's #1)

by K. C. Cross

  “Did you get to the buzzing yet?” she asks. I nod. “Good. You’re almost there. Now, while we’re waiting for it to work, let’s talk about this job.”

  “No.” I put up a hand. “Not now.”

  “Yes. I need a job. Just a part-time one. The Honey Bean is looking for a waitress. I need that, Pell. And I will use all my money to buy what we need and then I won’t have to go into debt.”

  “You don’t get it. That won’t work. The harder you fight the curse, the more it works against you. The less magic money you use, the more the curse will force you to use it. Bad things will happen. And that will force you to work harder to…” I pause, not really wanting to say the last bit.

  “Harder to what?” she presses.

  “Please me. The harder you’ll have to work to please me with the debt book stuff.”

  She points a finger in my face. “I will not be blowing you. Just… FYI.”

  I cannot hide my laugh. “Good to know. And for the record, Pie, you’re not my type.”

  She lifts her chin up in indignation like I just insulted her. “I’m not your type?”

  “Nope.”

  “What kind of type do you like? Bull girls?”

  “I’m not a bull.”

  “A satyr chimera girl?”

  “There are no female satyr chimeras. We’re all men.”

  “Then what is your type?” And now she’s annoyed.

  I shrug. “I’ve always been partial to the nymphs.”

  “Nymphs.” She crinkles her nose like the thought of nymphs is distasteful. “Water fairies?”

  “Not fairies. Nymphs. You know. Willowy girls with evil intentions lurking in the forest.”

  She laughs. A real laugh. “You like bad girls?”

  “I do.”

  “I’m not bad enough for you?”

  “Not even close.”

  “Hmmph.” She’s trying hard not to show it, but she’s definitely taking exception to my preferences. Either that, or she fancies herself a bad girl and I just… what? Insulted her? Challenged her?

  I hope it’s the second one. Because even though she’s completely ridiculous, Pie is… fun. And I could be on board with her being bad with me.

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake. Can you just put on an apron or something?” She’s looking down at my… package. Which is growing due to the little bad-girl fantasy currently running through my head. “You’re so gross. Why do you insist on flaunting your penis?”

  I actually guffaw.

  She’s shielding her eyes with her hand as she walks around to the other side of her alchemy bench. Then she picks up an apron and throws it at me. “Put that on or get out.”

  I catch the apron, but don’t put it on. “You’ve heard me say it a few times now, Pie. And you didn’t ask, so maybe assuming that you’re ignorant is being presumptuous, but… do you have any idea what a satyr actually is?”

  “What do you mean?” She’s doing her valiant best to not look down at my cock right now.

  “You need to do some research. And if you still insist that I put on pants after you’re done, I will no longer be assuming you’re ignorant. I’ll just classify you as stupid.”

  Her mouth falls open and I take a moment to notice that she has nice lips. She closes her mouth, perhaps noticing that I’m staring at it. And when my eyes dart up to meet hers, her little pink tongue slips out to wet her lower lip.

  Fuck. She’s really not my type. Way too cute. But… she’s got an innocent kind of sexiness to her.

  “For real,” I say. Because our silence has suddenly become awkward and Tomas isn’t here to break it up, so I guess it’s on me. “Just look us up. And then you’ll understand. Because we’re just… horny. At all times. And we have perpetual erections. This?” I point down at my dick. “This is nothing. Just a little chubby in my world.”

  “Good God, you are gross.”

  “There’s no way to stop it, so get over it, Pie. Because it’s a part of me and I’m not going to hide it to please you.”

  Maybe it’s something in my tone, or maybe she just has the good sense to recognize me being honest, because she looks properly embarrassed. “Sorry,” she breathes. “I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just…” She sighs. “Never mind. I see your point.”

  “And I see yours as well.” I put the apron on. “Things are much better around here when you don’t fight it, Pie. I’m not an animal. I’m not human either, but I’m not an animal.”

  She blushes. “I didn’t—”

  “I know you didn’t. You just don’t know any better.”

  She has no idea what to say to that, so I take over and pull the book closer to me. “Oh, hey. It really did work. I can read it.”

  “Really?” Pie is delighted.

  I decide I prefer her delighted. She’s not bad. And she’s not a bitch, so that’s nice. In fact, she’s got an aura of goodness around her. Not a bad girl. Not at all.

  OK. Enough about Pie. Back to the issue at hand. I can read the book and now it is clear that Grant was hiding things from me. Why put his notes in a language I can’t read?

  “Here’s the part that bothers me about this,” I say. “He didn’t need to hide this shit. I never looked.” When I glance up at Pie, she’s paying attention, her face serious again. “I never looked at any of it. I don’t do magic.”

  “Wait.” She puts up a hand. “But you do. You froze me. You slammed the door closed with your hand.”

  “I have abilities. But I don’t do alchemy. The powers I have, they’re just innate. You, for instance, couldn’t learn how to do what I do the way you can learn alchemy. I was created with these powers. They can’t be taken, destroyed, or borrowed. So I never bothered with the apothecary. Before you came, I literally hadn’t been in here in…” I pause to think. “Decades. At least. I don’t even remember the last time I came in here. So why would he go to so much trouble to hide this stuff from me?”

  “I don’t know, Pell.”

  “We’ll have to keep that in mind and think on it. There’s something there, I’m just not sure what yet.”

  She nods. Breathes deeply. “OK. So… the job?”

  “Fine. You can get a job.”

  “I can?”

  “Yes. I’m not trying to trap you. And regardless of what you think, I had nothing to do with you coming here. I don’t know anything about how the caretakers are chosen other than it seems to follow a bloodline. I don’t know how you were recruited or—”

  “It was a flyer in a gas station. Advertising for a caretaker job at the sanctuary.”

  “Ah. It was magic. Bait. Charmed too. If you were able to see the flyer, you were of the bloodline.” I shrug. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry you got stuck here with me. I get it. You want to live your life. You didn’t expect it to be stolen from you.”

  “Yeah.”

  “So you can have the job. But the date—”

  “I have to go on the date, Pell! I already said yes. If I don’t show up, he’ll come out here. And if he can open the walking gate, what’s to stop him from coming through the front door?”

  The thought of that sheriff being able to enter my sanctuary without an invitation is disturbing to say the least. I don’t have a choice. “Fine. One date. But you need to end his curiosity with you and the sanctuary. It’s dangerous for people to know about us. You get that, right?”

  She nods at me. “I do. And I will. I’ll cut it off. He’s a little bit weird anyway.”

  I narrow my eyes at this. “Weird how?”

  “I dunno. He’s like an aphrodisiac or something. Whenever I’ve got his attention, or he’s close to me, I’m…” She hesitates. And this pause goes on long enough for me to get impatient.

  “You’re what?”

  “I don’t really know how to explain it. I’m just… giddy around him. Or something. Stupid. Lovestruck.”

  “That’s not possible.”

  “What’s not possible?”

 
“Lovestruck? Are you sure?”

  She nods. “I swear, I’m really not the kind of girl who kisses a man I just met a few hours ago. He makes me feel weird.”

  I let out a long, tired breath. Because what the hell? Why is everything suddenly so different around here?

  “Hello?” Pie says. “Are you going to explain your frustration?”

  “He’s an eros. He has to be. That’s a side effect of being around them.”

  “A what now?”

  “A cupid.”

  “A fat baby with a bow and arrow?” She laughs.

  I shoot her a look.

  “What?” This look makes her nervous.

  “You know what an eros is. You’re one of them.”

  She laughs. Loud. “I am not one of them.”

  “You are, Pie. That’s the only way you get inside the gates. You have to be an eros. You have to be from that bloodline. It’s mandatory. That’s literally where this curse starts.”

  She furrows her brow and shakes her head. “No. I would know this, right? Wouldn’t I?”

  “You should, but…” I shrug. “The sheriff doesn’t seem to know either. So I dunno what’s going on. I’m not in charge of any of this. I have one power and one power only.”

  “What power? Slamming doors? Freezing people?”

  I hesitate. And she must be an eros. She must be using her charms on me right now. Because this hesitation is the beginning of an admission. I quickly come to my senses and say, “Yeah. Those are my powers.”

  “That’s two.”

  “What?”

  “You said one power. Then you admitted to two powers. So which is it?”

  “Slamming doors isn’t really a power, Pie. The freezing people. That’s my one power.”

  “OK. So anyway. I’m not an eros. But if the sheriff is, then I need to know more about him. Tell me what you know.”

  She has to be an eros. She has to be. That’s how she got in. But… I wasn’t immediately attracted to her when she got here. I was kind of a dick, actually. And I hurt her. If she were an eros, would I have hurt her like that?

  I was infatuated with Grant for almost a decade after he arrived. It took a good long time for his charms to wear off. The new caretaker should be intoxicating. And while Pie is kind of having that effect on Tomas, she did not have that effect on me.

  I was angry when she came.

  No. That wasn’t it. I was angry that Grant left.

  I could counter that argument and say, well, I like her now.

  I like her because she’s cute. She’s kinda funny too. And pretty. Let’s not forget pretty.

  But I’m not swooning over her.

  Still, she has to be an eros. That’s how she got in here.

  Isn’t it?

  “Well?” Pie taps her toe on the floor. “Are you gonna fill me in or what?”

  “The eros are…” I shake my head. “Bad, bad news, Pie. You really need to get rid of him. Maybe I should come with you?”

  “No. That’s dumb. I can’t glamour you like Grant could. It’s too dangerous.”

  “Hmm. I wonder if he’s using you to bait me?”

  “What?”

  “OK, you can’t go—”

  “Pell!”

  “—unless… you come up with a protection spell. To counter his magic.”

  “How can I do that?”

  “There has to be a spell here somewhere. I guess you had better get busy. I’ll be back later to check your work.”

  And with that I turn and walk out of the apothecary. Maybe she comes up with a spell and maybe she doesn’t. That’s neither here nor there. The sheriff should not be able to get in here now. Pie’s Jeep was moved to the back parking lot and all that property back there is charmed.

  When Pie said she could find her way around the block to the back gate, she was mistaken. The entrance to this world is always glamoured. Without a map, she would’ve been lost.

  This is good. It means that that the pesky sheriff will forget all about Saint Mark’s Sanctuary until some new situation arises out front and grabs his attention as he’s driving by.

  With all other problems dealt with—at least temporarily—I turn my attention to the one on the back burner. Tomas.

  Because he’s not here. And that only means one thing.

  He’s having trouble.

  Normally—i.e. before Grant left and Pie arrived—I would not even notice if Tomas was missing for a morning. But Grant did leave and Pie is here—and Tomas likes Pie. A lot more than he liked Grant because he can touch Pie. He can interact with Pie. He needs Pie. So he would not be missing this morning unless something else was up.

  Which means something else is up and I need to find out what it is before things get out of hand.

  I walk across the great hall, casually looking at the door that leads to the greenhouse as I pass. I will have to tell Pie about that later. It is her job now. I pass the dining room and enter a hallway that curves around in a spiral and descends into the variable lower levels.

  This part of the cathedral changes at will. Sometimes the variable parts will stay the same for hundreds of years, only to completely disappear one morning as something else takes its place.

  But Tomas’s part of the cathedral hasn’t ever disappeared and most of the changes are so minor, they’re difficult to detect unless you’re here on a regular basis. Which I am not, so it all looks the same to me—stone walls lit up with torches that spiral downward so far you get cold and then hot again. The smell begins somewhere in between. I try not to breathe through my nose as I descend. Time is weird down here. I never know if it takes minutes or hours to finally reach the bottom because it all looks the same.

  Eventually I do reach the bottom and I grab a torch off the wall to light my way in the darkness ahead. “Tomas?” I say it softly, doing my best not to disturb things. But when he doesn’t answer, I have to say it louder. “Tomas? Are you here?”

  I keep walking. Slowly, since the cone of light in my hand only reaches a few feet in front of me. It’s almost like the darkness swallows the light. Which isn’t how things work. Light rules dark. Light needs only to exist to banish darkness.

  The dark has no such power over light.

  Except when it’s not really darkness, but something else altogether.

  “Tomas?” I call. Not loud, but not soft either. “Are you here?”

  “Go back.” Tomas’s raspy voice is barely audible.

  “I’m just checking on you. Do you need—”

  “Get out!” He growls it this time and I feel the darkness that is not really darkness push against me. Warning me.

  “OK. I’m leaving. But if you need anything—”

  “Go. Now.”

  I put up my hands. Not like I’m surrendering. Just letting him know I’m cool. “I’m going.” I back up until I hit a wall. Then I turn, quickly retrace my steps to the spiral hallway, replace the torch on the wall, and do a full retreat.

  When I finally come up into the stable sections of the cathedral, I let out a long breath.

  Tomas has been wearing that human costume around me for so long, I had almost forgotten what he really is.

  I won’t make that mistake again.

  CHAPTER TWELVE - PIE

  By the time Pell returns to check on me, I’ve started two fires, blown up a small pile of powder, and inhaled fumes that made me temporarily forget who I was. None of which will be mentioned in any kind of update.

  “Well?”

  He’s standing in the apothecary doorway. No pants.

  I did look up satyrs. They are known for their sexual exploits, lewdness, and, yes—their exaggerated, ever-present erections.

  Why me? It’s a serious question.

  “Well.” I blow a piece of hair away from my face. “I think I’ve come up with something.”

  Pell takes a long look around the apothecary. It’s a total mess. I’m talking dumpster-fire mess. There are powders all over the stone counter
s. Herb jars are open and lying on their sides, spilling leaves and roots and petals all over the place. And there are eleventy billion test tubes with the remnants of all my attempts at potions.

  He sighs. Loud.

  “It’s not as bad as it looks. I can read Latin now! And look what I made!” I hold up the little leather pouch with pride. “An amulet!”

  I’m pretty satisfied with this. I mean, I should’ve started with the amulet thing. You don’t need to heat anything up, you don’t need to distill any essential oils, and you don’t need to make powders. All you really do is stuff the right kind of shit into a little leather pouch, wave your hand over it as you say some fancy words, and poof. You’ve got yourself an amulet.

  “Nope.” That’s all he says.

  “What do you mean, nope? What’s nope about it? You didn’t even look at it. It’s good. I promise. I used the magical herb book to find something that wards off love spells.”

  Pell walks forward and I turn away, trying my best to ignore his swinging dick, and pretend to clean up a mess I made on the alchemy bench closest to me.

  He comes right up next to me and picks the amulet up to study it. He’s so close, his furry hip brushes against my arm. I pull away quickly, then scoot round to the other side of the counter.

  Now that I’m safe from his huge dick, I watch as he sniffs the pouch and then opens it up and peers inside. “What did you use?”

  “I used lily of the valley and blue lotus. I didn’t have any pistachios, but I can pick them up at the market in town and just plop them in before I meet Russ at the restaurant.”

  Pell looks over at me, his eyes hooded. Maybe even narrowed.

  “What?” I ask. Sometimes he looks at me like he wants to eat me. This is one of those times.

  “You can’t just pick up a bag of salted, processed pistachios at the local supermarket and plop them into your magical amulet, Pie. And an amulet?” He drops the leather pouch onto the bench. “What the hell? You had all day.”

  “What’s wrong with an amulet?”

  “They’re weak. They’re for non-magical people.”

  “Weak how? I did the spell. And I don’t really need pistachios. There were only three herbs in the book that can break a love spell and the pistachio was one of them. But the lily and the lotus should be fine.”