Cole looked impressed, and proud of me. “That sounds fantastic.”
“Thanks. I’ve wanted to do this for a while so I’m grateful for the opportunity. I think where I’ll need your help the most is in understanding how the nanobites behave, like how much is too much or too little. I’m not really familiar with the effects of different dosages and percentages yet.”
“I can help with that for sure. My whole research is based on the use in medical applications.”
He made a move to reach over to me but pulled back. The gesture was brief, but noticeable, and it made me feel guilty.
“I have an idea,” he said quickly, almost like he wanted to gloss over his actions. “How about we grab coffee and plan out a proposal for what we’ll be doing each week? We’re together for the next two hours so we could make use of the time.”
“I’d really like that.”
“Cool, I’ll go grab us two large cups.”
“Thank you.”
He winked at me and got up to head over to the counter where the barista was.
I had to be honest, the environment here at the hospital was less tense than at Remington’s.
No Kirk, so that was good. And no Brad.
I felt guilty to admit that, but it was true.
Hearing how much Brad and his boss liked Kirk was not my idea of fun. I felt like I was being watched and assessed constantly.
I didn’t like that. Who would?
I could tell anyone that seeing Cole on Wednesdays would possibly be the highlight of the week. I just wasn’t sure if that was a good thing, if I was trying to focus on me.
He was the kind of guy who was easy to fall for. Easy to get attached to, because he cared. I knew he cared. It was hard to not want to be with a guy who you knew cared deeply about you.
As he glanced back at me from the line, I could see how much he did.
Cole
“Here’s what I want you to do,” I said, thinking long and hard. Laila looked to me with keen interest. “Make sure you work closely with Dr. Gregory. Even if it means coming here for an additional day during the week. You could probably add Fridays in too. That would give you more clinic time.”
Her face practically lit up at that. “Seriously? Would that really be okay?”
“Yes. I think it’s a must with your research, and of course if you need any extra time just let me know,” I told her.
Her ideas were good and I could see why Dr. Gregory liked her. Other than her beautiful mind, she was beautiful. The man had the right idea by trying to get ahead of the game by asking her to marry him. I wished I didn’t feel jealous when he said that. I wished I could feel that there was nothing to be jealous over since he’d been married four times already and just loved collecting beautiful women.
“I’d really, really like that,” she replied.
“Cool.”
We’d been sitting here in the restaurant for the whole two hours talking effortlessly, and it was nice listening to her. She’d impressed me. What was weird was me not touching her. It felt unnatural to me.
When I looked at her, I saw a person trying hard to find themselves and it forced me to respect that.
It forced me to be her friend.
“Do you think if this all goes well the idea might be agreed to do some further research at Remington’s?” she proposed. “That’s what I’d like in the long run.”
I chuckled. “That’s what’s supposed to happen. Remington’s bank themselves as being open to new ideas so there’s no reason why it shouldn’t. That was why I moved there. I miss it here though. I miss being at St. Michael’s a lot. It was nice in the beginning when I worked with Ryan and my dad.”
I said nice but the reality was that I’d been an idiot. Ryan used to piss me off and there was a bunch of years when we didn’t actually get along. I’d changed a lot and I didn’t see why he couldn’t get his act together. Then we got close again and he left. He was only here today to meet up for lunch. He seemed the happiest of the two of us, but maybe that was because of Paige and the baby. He was on a whole other level compared to me.
“It does feel different,” Laila surmised. “I had a good day here. Maybe the kind of day I was expecting to have at Remington’s. I’ve been looking forward to working there since I was offered the job. It’s just so tense. You’d think it would be more tense here at the hospital.”
“Yeah. I get what you mean.” I couldn’t disagree because even in the busier departments, like the ER and OR, people had this presence about them that showed they had things under control. “Remington’s, however, is a great place for a person like you. You have skills and they’re vast. To me that always means choice. Remington’s is collateral. You definitely get paid your worth there.”
I thought it was best to be up front with her. My salary tripled on my acceptance, and I was already on the lower end of six figures when I was working at the hospital. I couldn’t lie and say it wasn’t more than appealing.
But I did miss it here.
“I guess it’s just the crap with Kirk. That guy has it in for me. I know I shouldn’t be talking about him with you, but Brad said the head boss likes Kirk, a lot. It just put the pressure on.”
I narrowed my gaze. I wasn’t aware of what Nick thought about Kirk in terms of liking him a lot. Brad had been dealing with anything to do with Kirk prior to him starting so I really didn’t know. What irked me was he shouldn’t have told Laila.
“Just focus on you. You know how Kirk talks big and out of his ass. I shouldn’t say this but he’s a dick who I’d love to teach a lesson to. I know it will get me in deep shit if I punch him just for being annoying.”
She started laughing and it was the best sound. “You’re the only person I know who can switch from business mode to badass so effortlessly.”
“I can’t help it.”
“Yes, I remember when I was nine and I got in trouble for telling my mom she was annoying as fuck.”
I remembered that.
Since I was the only one who spoke like that, of course her parents had words with me about my language around their little girl. I must have made an effort to do better for all of one week, then I was right back to my old self. That same week she got in trouble again for calling the principal a fucktard.
“I know. Well…this was nice.”
Back to business. It was getting late and I had a few things left to do here before I called it a day.
“Yeah. You’re welcome to go back to the unit if you want to. I know Dr. Gregory would like to see you again. Or you can go home early. It’s entirely up to you.” It was four-thirty and honestly I was hoping she would choose to go home since she seemed tired.
“I think I’d like to hang out down in the unit for another hour or so. Peter won’t be home until six so that works. He loves daycare.”
I gave her a curt nod. “Okay, you do what works best for you. I’ll be around if you need me. I’m on the main section of the hospital for the rest of the day.”
“Thank you.”
I stood to go.
“Cole,” she said quickly, stopping me just as I was about to head away.
“Yeah?”
“I mean it when I say thanks. I’m grateful for the time you’ve taken to help me. It means a lot.”
“No worries.”
I left before that tug on my heart could resurface.
The other night when I went to her place I may have gone in a state of confusion and conflict, but what I wanted was a chance.
It felt like I always just wanted that chance to be with her.
It was clearly not what she wanted.
The next few days flew by.
Sunday came quick again and I did my usual. Head to the pool to swim and the gym to work out. My next triathlon was going to be in four months so I wanted to keep on top of my training.
I didn’t believe I could ever think of the word triathlon again and not remember Peter. I tried hard not to laugh when he hones
tly believed I’d been in some superhero war.
After the gym I went home like I did last week before heading to the park, where I saw Laila and Peter.
I did that last week for the very same reason I was doing it today.
Usually I met up with Brad and we’d go out to the sports bar for a few hours playing pool, hanging out with our other friends.
Last week I didn’t feel like hanging out with him and I also didn’t feel like it today. So instead of doing that I worked on one of my old bikes. It was a vintage old Harley Springer similar to the Indiana Jones bike I knew Peter was raving about.
I’d had an obsession with motorcycles for as long as I could remember. I was probably born with it, but I had to agree with the little guy that nothing was cooler than watching Indiana Jones tear through the movie on his bike, and the whole sidecar scenes were even cooler. I totally got it.
I hadn’t ridden my Harley in years. Last time I did, I had an accident. I was fine. The bike, not so much. It was repairable though, it would just take some time.
Time I decided I’d take for the next few weeks.
It was best to try and keep to myself. It would have worked just fine too if Brad didn’t take it upon himself to come and seek me out the following week—that being week three of my absence at the sports bar and barely saying two words to him at work.
He came around to see me when I was working on the bike’s engine. I’d just gotten a new part in and was so lost in my work that I didn’t even hear him pull up in the driveway. I only saw him when he walked into the garage.
“Hey, buddy…” Brad said.
In his Levi’s and red long-sleeved shirt he looked more like the guy I used to love hanging out with. Not like the control freak or the overly opinionated person he’d become.
“Hi, what’s up?” I asked, straightening up.
“Was going to ask you the same thing, funnily enough. What is up? Sundays have been our thing for years. I just got married and Sundays is still guy time. But my best pal has been AWOL for weeks.”
“I’m amazed you noticed.” I couldn’t help the comment.
Brad looked me over and pressed his lips together. “Of course I would notice. Yes, I have noticed too that you’re pissed with me, and I won’t pretend to not know that this is about Laila. At the same time, I won’t lose you over shit we can fix with a conversation.”
I shook my head at him. “There’s some shit you can’t just fix with a conversation Brad.”
“Right, okay, let’s do this. I don’t think I can live through another week with us like this. Talk, fire away, say what you want to say to me instead of doing…whatever it is you’re doing,” he challenged.
I stared at him and actually saw this as an opportunity to indeed talk it all out.
“Tell me this…why didn’t you tell me the reason Laila got divorced? The guy she married was a dog. If we’re so close why the hell wouldn’t you have told me what happened? Never mind the other parts. Those weren’t my business. You told me when your aunt was cheating on your uncle, you told me when your cousin got fired from his company for stealing trade secrets, you told me when your other cousin left his wife and ran off with his maid’s son. The thing is, I barely knew any of those people. Why didn’t you tell me about Laila?”
He knew not to sell me some lame answer because I was right. I was more than right, and those instances I’d listed were only a few examples of occurrences that had happened in his family. He’d told me plenty more than that. Wealth could make people crazy and some of his relatives were so wealthy they were billionaires. There was always some scandal to tell me. Not that we sat around gossiping all the time. Of course, those too were secrets. Secrets I kept.
“I knew you’d lose your shit, head to LA, and kick his ass.”
“Did you? Did you do that?” It was a rhetorical question. I knew he didn’t do anything, and I knew why. I did my own research on Porter Thomas.
When I’d cooled off I looked him up and saw he’d resigned from Yale. I guess that was them giving him the easy option. What I noticed that jumped out at me was at the time, Porter was on the board of governors and they typically gave substantial amounts of money to Remington’s. He himself had donated just over a million dollars to research.
There lay the answer to my question and the lack of response coming from Brad.
“I didn’t interfere because it wouldn’t have gone well. People break up all the time and marriages fail. You don’t solve the problem with fists.” That was his answer.
I just laughed. “But it was okay for me right? Me, your best pal? Punch me when I did the manly thing and told you I wanted to be with your sister?”
Once again I stumped him, but I thought I’d do a little more. “Since we’re laying the cards on the table, I won’t hold back. You handed me my ass because you could. I’m just the friend. Porter, on the other hand, was someone who could have made you look bad. You could have maybe even lost your job if you pissed off a main investor. I wouldn’t have let that stop me. He’s the guy who actually hurt her. Not me.”
He didn’t like me saying that, because he’s apparently always right.
“Cole, you talk like you’re involved with her. Are you? Are you sleeping with her?”
I could have said I just wasn’t sleeping with her this week, but I thought better of it.
“No, relax…I’m not.”
“But you want to be,” he said, and I didn’t deny it. I wouldn’t.
“You still think I’m not good enough for her don’t you?” I could tell there was a clash of conflicting motives he had going on in his head.
On one hand he wanted to be the doting, caring big brother who offered his little sister the job of her dreams, probably in response to his lack of involvement when it came to Porter. But Brad wanted to be the control freak in every respect. He didn’t want either of us making him look bad.
Then there was the problem that existed prior to this, which also stemmed from him being a control freak. He wanted me to stay away from his sister.
“Cole, I don’t know why you want to push a wedge between us.”
“The wedge is already there. Answer the question Brad,” I pressed.
“I don’t. That is my personal opinion and it’s not meant to offend you in any way. I know you, and I’ve never really thought you were serious about her. I wasn’t foolish or blind. I knew how she felt about you and I knew your interest in her. I didn’t want her to be another number to you. Nobody knows you like me. I’ve seen how you’ve treated various women in the past and just because you might have gotten older and a tad wiser, it doesn’t change anything. So no, I don’t think you’re good enough for my sister.”
Well, there were the words plain and simple.
The reminder.
It was funny when you knew with certainty that you had been right about something. But when you heard it, when the words were spoken, it became real.
It hurt worse than just thinking about it.
That’s how I felt now.
“Fair enough. Well at least now I know what you think of me.”
“Cole, that’s not fair. You asked the question you already knew the answer to. How is it fair to be pissed at me for my opinions?”
“Because I’m supposed to be your best friend. If I tell you something, you’re supposed to believe me. That’s why. Years ago when I told you about Laila it didn’t matter what anyone said to you, or the situation with Cindy. I told you how I felt about Laila and you should have believed me.”
“I understand, but I didn’t…and I still don’t. I still don’t trust you with her. Please, just let her be. Now you know what happened to her so I’m sure you can imagine what she must have gone through to get to this point where she’s back home and working. Just leave her alone Cole.”
“Message received Dr. Brad Hughes, loud and clear.”
He looked me over with sadness brimming in his eyes.
“That wedge between u
s…it just got bigger didn’t it?”
“Yes,” I answered effortlessly. The wedge was bigger and the friendship we had pushed to the back.
He turned and walked away.
I remembered the past. Whenever we’d have any kind of arguments or disagreements we’d resolve them within a few days. More often than not everything was over with by the end of the day. Brad was that kind of friend for me. It was as he said about not wanting to go into next week with tension.
On this occasion, I knew just now was it for us. Final.
How was I supposed to be friends with someone who just told me I wasn’t good enough for his sister? That he didn’t trust me?
The question I was left with now was: What am I going to do about it?
* * *
In the past it bothered me because I thought it was true, and I tried to forget her. I tried to stay away like I was told.
Look at me here, years later, still pining over the same woman.
Brad wanted me to stay away and Laila wanted to be friends.
Both routes had the effect of keeping me at bay. But one route still gave me hope.
Laila. She may be all for wanting to focus on her career and finding herself.
But she still looked at me the same.
That never changed.
That was the part I’d hold on to.
Cole
Nicholas Eubank was even more of a control freak than Brad.
I was pretty certain that if it were up to him I wouldn’t have gotten the job at Remington’s. I was also pretty certain too, knowing all I knew in regards to how Brad saw me, that if it were up to him, he’d be the same in regard to me. He wouldn’t have given me a job I was deserving of.
I’d bet my left nut that they both hated that it was Chris Remington, owner and CEO of the research center, who approached me and practically headhunted me with the job offer when they had to work their butts off just to get an interview.
I hated these meetings. The quarterly review, as Nick called it.
Cole Page 10
