Love & Hate Series Box Set 2 (3-4) - In Too Deep - Skimming the Surface

by Joanna Mazurkiewicz

  “How long have you been here?” I ask.

  “Six months. They still haven’t decided if I’m crazy or not. They keep saying that there is going to be a trial or something like that. My lawyer says that I’ll get a couple of years if the doctors say there is nothing wrong with me; otherwise he may be able to get me a deal.”

  The rat has people everywhere, but I doubt that he will send someone to a place like this. I walk back to the bed and sit down, running my hands over my shoulders and wondering if I should get in touch with Tequila. She might have a contact with a decent solicitor that can get me out of this shit. Micah can go and screw himself. He betrayed me and whatever he is planning won’t change my mind. We are done with each other.

  Kiki goes through how the ward operates, who to stay away from and who I can trust. The food is brought up an hour later, but Kiki refuses to even touch it. Then she proceeds to tell me that she is going to starve herself if they won’t let her speak to her little sister. It’s clear that she might have some emotional problem, but I don’t judge. In the end she has been stuck in this place for a good six months, and she is pissed off that there is no movement in her case. Her bastard ex had been raping her for months, she had been going to the police, but they didn’t do anything. When the violence escalated she took justice into her own hands and stabbed him. I don’t blame her. I would have probably done the same, but rat kept me on a short leash and I was scared to even breathe in front of him. He always had power over me, and if I tried anything he starved me, keeping me in that dark hole for a good few days until he broke me.

  I want to shut my eyes and forget about it. My situation is different and I’m not that little girl anymore. Everything is falling apart and I know for a fact that if I stay here I won’t have much time. I need to let Tequila know what is going on; otherwise I’m as good as dead.

  The rest of the time drags. Kiki blabs most of the day about her life, telling me about her family and friends. Her mother didn’t want to believe her when she confided in her that she was raped. She reminds me of myself when I was her age—the girl that chose the wrong guy. I remember how the rat pulled me away from that miserable house, from the mother that starved me and my siblings. I thought that he was the best thing that ever happened to me.

  I was hungry, forgotten and always exhausted, and rat took all the problems away. The moment he had full control over me, he flipped and my normal life ended.

  After a crappy supper, the lights go off and it’s time for bed. I try not to think about what’s going to happen to me. My brain is overloaded with ideas. Micah is still in my head, and I can’t stop thinking about him, and about what he did to me. Kiki is talking about her ex, about the fact that he was controlling, but she keeps repeating that stabbing him was the best decision she ever made.

  I don’t know how, but eventually I fall asleep. My dreams are vivid, streaming through my consciousness. I see myself standing in a circle, surrounded by bodies of young girls. The blood is everywhere, some of them are alive, and the others just lie there dead with their eyes still open. I know that I have to help them, but my feet are glued to the floor, and there is someone standing behind me laughing out loud.

  Something or someone wakes me. For a split second I wonder where I am and why it’s so quiet around. Then my memory brings me back to reality.

  “Tahlia, hey, Tahlia.”

  It’s my fucking name, and that voice freezes my blood. I rub my eyes, thinking that I must be still dreaming. Then the door to our room opens and someone walks inside, a shadow of a man. Kiki moves on the bunk under me. Panic seizes me and I wonder if I should start screaming. Maybe then someone will stop him. The figure moves quickly, pointing a flashlight onto his face, blinding me for a moment.

  “What the fuck?” I ask loudly, feeling like someone is screwing with my head. Micah Thompson isn’t really standing right in front of me, dressed in a hospital uniform. His eyes move frantically from me to Kiki, who is most probably wide awake, listening to his every word. Shock mixed with anger paralyses me for a moment.

  “Shut up and listen to me. I haven’t got much time. You need to get up and move now,” he hisses. I get up, completely confused.

  “Move where? What the hell are you even doing here?”

  “There’s no time to explain. I’m getting you out, so come on,” he says, grabbing me like I’m his fucking property. The heat from his body assaults my better judgement and for a split second I’m ready to go with him.

  “No, hold on a minute. Why are you even dressed like that and where is the hospital staff?”

  “There is no one else. I promised you to fix it, and this is exactly what I’m doing. We need to go right now, before the dumbass security guards wake up,” he says, almost shaking me. I stare at him for a good few moments, knowing that he has lost his mind. He wants to help me run away, to escape.

  “Get back where you came from, Micah. I don’t need your help,” I say stubbornly and sit back on my bed. I want to get out, but not with him, not like this.

  “Tahlia, I can knock you out and just carry you out of here if you prefer. We are leaving this shit hole together, whether you like it or not,” he says, breathing right into my mouth. His lips are inches from mine and my hormones are shutting me down quickly; even my lungs stopped working. The tiny voice in my head reminds me that he destroyed me, cut my wounded heart to pieces and that I still hate him.

  Then we both hear the squeaking and all of a sudden Kiki lands on the floor next to me.

  “Hey, punk, you ain’t taking her anywhere unless you take me with you too,” she says, folding her arms over her chest.

  In that moment my brain switches back into a working mode. Micah Thomson is breaking the rules. He is here of his own accord with a rescue mission. It’s impossible—his career means everything to him and he is not only breaking the law, but also jeopardising everything he’s ever worked for.

  “Kid, I haven’t got time for your drama. This girl is innocent and she doesn’t belong here,” he says, annoyed, finally pulling away from me.

  “She is right. If you want me to go with you, then I will, but only if you take her too,” I say, feeling like a complete idiot, forcing him to make a decision. Maybe I’m stubborn, but I won’t leave this girl in a place like this. Deep down I know that I shouldn’t trust him at all. He is a compulsive liar and I want to rip his pretty face off.

  “You’re fucking kidding me. We can’t take her with us. She might be dangerous,” he argues, pacing around.

  “She stabbed her boyfriend who’d been raping her continuously. She is coming with us; otherwise I’m busting you,” I say to him, already forming a plan in my head. Whatever happened between us ended a long time ago.

  “Yeah, pretty boy, listen to her. You have to take me,” Kiki adds. It’s dark, but I see the frustration shaping his features. Whatever is happening inside his little head doesn’t matter. I might be going with him, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll forgive him for what he did to me.

  “Fine, just stay behind us and be quiet. I can’t believe this shit, Tahlia. This whole thing isn’t about me or her, but your freedom.”

  “There is no freedom; you took it away from me, when you arrested me. It’s either this way or no way,” I say, backing up. Sometimes I think that his touch might be soothing, calming, but that’s because I’m losing my guard. He has no more power over me.

  Micah knows that he won’t have another chance like this. After a few seconds, he shrugs and says, “Fine, let’s get out of here, but if the girl tries anything, I’ll drag her back to the police station myself.”

  Chapter Five

  The drive

  When I walk through these dark corridors I keep asking myself—why am I running away, yet again trusting the man that betrayed me? I have no idea how he managed to pull this off, to even get through the security to the locked-down hospital ward in the middle of the night. The moment I’m out on the run, my situation will be much more
complicated. On top of that, I forced him to take Kiki with us, and I have no idea why she has been locked up in a secure mental institution. Maybe this whole story about the rape was made up. Now I’m also sort of responsible for her.

  My heart accelerates when we pass the main reception. When I glance back at the window, I see two security guards just slumped in their chairs. It looks like they are fast asleep, but I’m certain that they might be unconscious too. Micah must have given them something, which means that he is not only breaking the law, but he’s also ruining his career for me. I glance at him wondering what is going through his mind. He looks stressed out. Sweat drips down his face, and his pupils are fully dilated. I have no sympathy for his pains and whatever is happening in his head. Whatever he is doing won’t change the fact that we are still strangers.

  “What did you do to them?” I ask, not able to help myself.

  “Nothing that wasn’t necessary. They will wake up tomorrow with a little headache. Right now we just need to keep going. I have a van waiting for us outside,” he says, sounding tired. I try to ignore the warm butterflies in my stomach and everything else that I’m feeling right now. Micah’s decision that he made is his own and shouldn’t make me feel joyful and relieved. Deep down I truly detest him and I should hate him even more right now. For all I know, he might be planning to hand me back to the authorities, after he fails to gain my forgiveness.

  Micah takes the badge off his neck and scans over the door. A moment later there is a buzzing noise and we are through. Kiki is shaking, probably because she can’t wait to get out of here. There are probably more support workers and guards somewhere in the building. Micah’s whole master plan seems too easy.

  Instead, we pass another empty corridor and then through another door. A moment later we are outside. I’m baffled when I inhale cold January air. A nervous tremor moves down my spine. No one is waiting for us. I don’t know if I should be laughing or screaming. Micah has managed to get us out of the ward undetected. We might have a few hours, but in the morning the police will be aware that I ran away.

  “Get to the fucking van, Tahlia, quick!” Micah calls after me. I hesitate for a split second, wondering if there is any point in going with him. I have no money, no documents, and all my stuff from my flat has probably been confiscated. I hop inside once Kiki calls too, knowing that I will have to tolerate the company of Micah Thomson at least for another few hours until I figure out what to do. The anxiety stirs deep inside when he puts his foot down and drives away, leaving the mental hospital behind. I keep telling myself that it’s a dream, that I can wake up at any moment, when Kiki’s squeaky voice pulls me back to the real world.

  “Oh my God, holy crap! We are free. This is best day in my life.”

  I sit next to the man that I can’t even bear to look at, and I don’t know whether to thank him or stab him. Nothing has changed. I might be free, but that doesn’t mean that my entire life hasn’t been ruined. The police will most probably know that he was the one that got me out. They will realise this sooner or later and his face will be on the screen of all the TV channels in the country.

  “What now? Where are we going?” I ask, rubbing my palms to feel a bit warmer. Micah takes off his guard hat and wipes the sweat from his forehead.

  “We are getting as far away as we can. By the time they notice what’s happened, we should be in London,” he replies.

  “London. I like the sound of that,” cheers Kiki and leans over to me. “So are you really a cop?”

  He nods, and I hope that she won’t keep asking questions like that all the way back to London. Besides, I don’t think travelling back to the capital is a very good idea. The rat might be there. After all, he is not really dead.

  “We can’t go to London. Drive anywhere but London,” I tell Micah, partly in desperation and partly because I’m trying not to freak out. I don’t want to have a panic attack in front of him. Things have gone out of control before, but this whole thing is happening for real, and I don’t need him to feel sorry for me.

  “Rudolf is in Braxton, Tahlia. He has been in Braxton from the moment we started seeing each other. He killed the head of the Braxton gang and took over his position. We can’t stay here. It’s too dangerous,” he tells me, taking a sharp left. My jaw drops. Rat can’t be in Braxton. That’s impossible.

  “No, you’re lying to me. He wouldn’t risk his life to settle here just because he wanted to get to me,” I argue, pressing my hands to my skull, wondering if he had been watching me when his buddy failed to kill me. I feel instantly sick, thinking that all this time he was so close.

  “I’m sorry, Tahlia, but London is the only option for now. We can’t go back,” he adds, looking straight at the road.

  I sink back into my seat, wondering if my life will ever go back to normal, if I will ever feel normal again. A cold shiver moves down my spine and the fear numbs my limbs. The rat is alive and nothing will stop him from getting to me again. A moment later I press my head against the window and close my eyes. I feel so tired, exhausted with the adrenaline crash and fear of what is to come. I drift shortly, hoping to wake up somewhere else completely where this nightmare is behind me.

  ***

  “Hey, girl, hey, wake up. We are stopping at the petrol station,” someone says to me, poking me in my ribs. I flutter my eyes open, wondering what the hell is going on. Bright rays of sunshine blind me for a second. A moment later a pair of bright green eyes are staring back at me. All the memories instantly come back. I sit up and look around. We are not moving anymore. The van is parked somewhere near the motorway. I hear the road behind us. My heart starts pounding loudly when Micah opens the passenger door and tries to grab my hand. I automatically jerk it away.

  “Get the fuck away from me,” I hiss, thinking that I might have to tolerate him for the next couple of hours, but I have my limits.

  “Tahlia, calm down,” he says. “You fell asleep in the van. You don’t have to worry about anything; you’re safe now. We’re stopping here.” He gives me a reassuring smile like everything is fucking perfect, like he didn’t really ruin my life.

  “Because you didn’t eat anything last night,” Kiki adds, looking at me with a sweet smile. I don’t know what she’s so happy about. We are two fugitives on the run from a mental institution.

  “Come on, let’s have coffee,” Micah suggests, like this is the most normal thing to do. “We’re around an hour away from London.” I’m too cranky to refuse coffee, so I nod and jump out of the van. It’s cold this morning, and I’m freezing instantly walking to the coffee shop with a light jacket that someone put on me last night. It smells of him, but I don’t want to take it off or I might freeze to death.

  There is a branded coffee shop at the back, so we choose the first available table. I haven’t got any money on me, but that doesn’t stop Micah. He asks us both what we want and then heads over to the counter to order.

  I want to pretend that I feel indifferent about him, that it’s just some field trip, but it’s not that simple. My heart reacts every time he looks at me.

  “So tell me what is going on between you two?” Kiki asks, leaning closer to me.

  “Nothing. He is selfish and he knows how to manipulate people and if you really want to survive, then stay away from him,” I reply, annoyed. Soon all the news channels will start showing our faces, and we won’t be invisible anymore. Micah Thomson, high-ranked detective has pissed on the law and helped me to escape, probably because he felt fucking guilty.

  Kiki makes a face and then laughs. I really don’t want to know what is wrong with her and why she was in the psych. Micah puts a plate of panini in front of me with the coffee and my skin prickles with static electricity. He gives Kiki the same thing.

  “How are you feeling?”

  I don’t lift my head, but I bet that question is directed to me. I feel his eyes on me and the heat moves through my bones, igniting every cell in my body. I hate myself for feeling this right now,
but I should be grateful that he got me out of there. Rat would have found a way to get to me, either way.

  “She is ignoring you, mate. Maybe you should quit asking questions,” Kiki suggests, stuffing her face with hot toasted sandwich.

  “What the fuck? Have you even thought about this?” I snap, losing my cool. “You shouldn’t have gotten involved. Rudolf is after me, not you, and now your precious career is over.”

  I finally look at him and all I see is regret and worry. He still has large dark circles under his eyes, worse than before. He most likely didn’t get any sleep last night. Oh hell, I shouldn’t care. He got what he deserved.

  “The moment I learned the truth about you I stopped caring about my career. Please eat. We have a long day ahead of us.” He takes a sip of his coffee, but his eyes are still fixated on me. I hate his intense look and I hate that I’m melting inside.

  “That won’t change anything. You ruined my life and I’ll never forgive you,” I repeat, probably for the second or third time.

  “Yeah … and she doesn’t liiiike you, so back off.” Kiki throws in her five cents with her mouth full of food.

  “And what are you planning to do with her? Obviously the police are going to look for her too?” I ask him, not able to keep my mouth shut. I’m ready to throw his mistake straight into his face, to make myself feel better. Kiki suddenly stops chewing her food and looks from me to the ex-detective with her eyes wide and expecting.

  “Don’t worry about this for now. My priority is to keep you safe.”

  “Well, you fucked this up once already…no, actually twice, but that’s a different story,” I mutter, wondering if I should tell him everything, all the secrets. He will find out sooner or later.

  Micah sighs softly, not saying anything else, but the regret is written all over his face. I look away determined not to feel shitty about reminding him and quit winding him up. After all I have to focus on Kiki; she is just a kid, with a complicated past and mental health problems. I just have to keep an eye on her.