I start slamming my fists into the dashboard hard, until I see blood, until the anger fades away. The pain numbs me, but the guilt is not going away. I finally look back at the house, the place where I spent a lot of time with the murderer, the psychopath.
All I want to do is to go inside and start smashing everything, but then I spot someone watching me from the other side of the road. Some random guy just stares back at me.
This place, the street, the memories are suffocating and I’ve only been here about ten minutes.
“I’ve been watching you for a while,” says a deep voice that belongs to a man with tattoos on his neck. “I’ve been telling myself that it can’t be you. Micah Thomson wouldn’t have a reason to show up in his old neighbourhood,” There is something familiar in the man’s features, but I’m too torn up to even try to remember who he is.
“What the hell do you want?” I ask, getting out. He approaches, keeping his hands in his pockets.
“Oliver, the big Ollie,” he says, smiling. Blood rushes to my ears. Big Ollie, Josh’s next-door neighbour. These two used to hate each other. I remember that, but I can’t understand what the hell he is doing here after so many years. I thought that he moved away, that he disappeared.
“I don’t need any company right now, mate. I’m here for the sadistic murderer that used to call himself Josh. If you can’t help me find him, then you better leave,” I warn him, not letting the old memories cloud my judgment. Even my old drunk father could show up here. I don’t care anymore.
“When you left, things started to shift around here. I was locked up, but my mother used to write me letters. Josh made a fortune on dope and other hard stuff. He put on weight, built up the muscles, and people stopped recognising him. No one remembered Josh Grey anymore. He’d transformed into Rudolf and had this whole estate under his control,”
I drag my hand through my hair. Ollie just confirmed what Tahlia said. Josh is Rudolf; I don’t know why I doubted her. I should have never left; I should have never gone to the academy. I didn’t deserve my life when other people were suffering.
“So there’s no doubt—he stopped being human,” I say, empty words. “His mother always influenced him. I wonder if she ever tried to change him.”
“He bought her a new house. She never suspected a thing, but everyone around here knew.”
“What the hell do you want?”
“Justice. That piece of shit raped my sister. I want to kill the son of a bitch.”
***
Tahlia
“Miss Morgan, you need to lie still. If you keep shuffling around, aggravating your wounds, then there is no point in my putting on new bandages,” my nurse says, frowning. “I told your friends they were supposed to keep you calm.” She doesn’t understand how hard it is for me to just lie here, knowing that Micah is out on the streets, angry and pumped with revenge.
It’s been several hours and he hasn’t even called. Tequila keeps telling me that his phone is turned off.
“Janine, I mean Rose … fuck, what am I supposed to call you now?” Hunter asks, when the nurse leaves looking irritated. From the moment Micah left the room and told me that I don’t deserve him, my head has been all over the place.
I thought that the hard part was behind us, that we could forget about what happened in Braxton. He was angry and has no idea what he’s saying half the time.
“Hunter, I don’t know what to tell you. I didn’t want anyone to know what happened and who I was. I wanted to get to Josh before he got to me. Meeting you in the club, that was unexpected.” I feel so exposed around him now, so self-conscious. Hunter saw me, he witnessed what I went through, and he was one of Josh’s best guys. For some reason I want to trust him. He saved my life yesterday, and I remember his small kindness in the past.
“So that arsehole that just left threw you in jail and then managed to get you out after realising that you were innocent. What the hell happened to the witness protection programme?” he asks, dragging his hand through his hair.
Tequila raises her left eyebrow but looks over his body with that strange gleam in her eyes.
“I see that you filled him in,” I say.
“Rose, this is crazy. The police are looking for you. Sooner or later one of the nurses will recognise you and then we’ll be done, all of us,” he says.
“Listen, Stud Muffin, just back off for a second, okay? You need to calm down before you draw any unwanted attention to us and I need some time alone with my girl here,” Tequila says, standing in front of him. “Go and check what Kiki is doing. I don’t trust her being alone, especially in the hospital.”
Hunter looks like he wants to stay and argue, but after a moment he frowns and disappears.
Tequila sits on the chair next to my bed, looking concerned. “I’m worried about Micah. He disappeared a few days ago for hours only to come back in a strange mood. He made this dirty deal with some mafia type gang and he was behaving just like he is now.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, forcing myself to keep my eyes open.
“He went to Rudolf’s rivals because of you,” Tequila explains, talking quietly. “He was willing to do anything in order to track you down. He promised to kill Rudolf in exchange for his location. He was convinced that it was Rudolf that had you.”
For a split second I thought that she was ready to lecture me on truth and lies again, but this sounds so much worse. I thought Micah would have worked on his own when I was hiding away in that hotel room, planning my assassination on rat. Surely he wouldn’t have gotten Tequila or Kiki involved.
“Tell me exactly what happened.”
“We paid a visit to The Semya, you heard of the Russian twins? Well, he made a deal with them. He agreed to kill your ex, to end his life and hand his head over to them as proof in exchange for information on your whereabouts so he could get you back. Then the same night, he vanished, disappeared in the middle of the night.”
“And?”
“He showed up a day later looking like something really bad happened, with that twisted look on his face. He refused to talk to me and Kiki. Something went down that night. I have never seen him in that kind of state. It’s as if the one that hunts for survival became the hunted.”
I close my eyes, trying to imagine what he must have gone through. Even that day when he saved me, he was calm, and he made me trust him instantly. It was the first time I looked at someone and I began to live again, seeing hope. Although, I remember seeing that look on his face, the one that Tequila just mentioned.
I hear voices, so many voices, and it’s not Rat. He hasn’t been down in the basement in days. I haven’t had anything to eat. My stomach feels so empty, hollow. I’m weak, so tired. The darkness drains all my strength. I just want this all to end.
The steps are confusing me. I look through the small space behind the washer to see the light. I stop breathing for several moments, seeing a man. He is looking around the basement. I have counted to a few thousands today, praying for rat to come and feed me. I don’t want to die in the hole. It’s not fair to be dying like this, lost and alone.
I start scratching my nails over the back of the washing machine. The rat won’t like that I bring attention to myself. He will punish me, but I’m desperate, starved and scared. If I die here the small rats will start eating my flesh from my bones, until there is no flesh left and all that is left are my bones that will crumble to dust.
The man is looking around, so I keep scratching harder. My throat is too dry to speak and this is all I can muster. My nails are bleeding, but I got used to the pain. The wounds from the burns are still fresh. It hurts mainly in the night. Sometimes I can even tell what time it is, until the rats try to get near me.
He starts moving the washing machine, looking behind at the stairs. I hear voices upstairs. Something is going on out there, something bad for Rat. When the man finally stops struggling with the washing machine, he notices me. I keep my body as close as I can to th
e wall, suddenly petrified to leave my hole.
“Hey, it’s okay. You can come out now. No one is going to hurt you,” he says, kneeling so our eyes are at the same level. My heart skips a beat, as my mind starts telling me that I know him. I have seen him before. It’s Micah, who was Josh’s best friend back when we were in high school. My whole body begins to shake when I notice a badge that hangs over his chest. I slowly step out of my hole, feeling brave.
“Micah, what the fuck are you—”Another man stops in his tracks when he notices me and I want to crawl back to the hole.
“She was behind the washing machine,” Micah says, lifting his hand to me. “It’s okay, don’t be scared. We are here to help you.”
I believe him, because I recognise that look on his face—it’s that empty, hunted look. My look.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Change of surroundings
The next day I wake up feeling a little better. I rub my tired eyes and spot Hunter and Micah by the window. It looks like they are having a hushed conversation, probably about me. Whatever it is, it must be important.
“Are you fucking kidding me? There is no way we are moving her in the condition that she’s in,” Hunter hisses. I glance at the clock realising that it’s 11:00 a.m. Last night I waited for Micah, waited a long time, even after the nurse told me to switch off the lights and go to sleep. He didn’t show, so I wonder why he is here now.
I lay still, hoping to eavesdrop.
“I’m not interested in your options. I promised to keep her safe, and I’ll keep that promise,” Micah snaps back. It looks like those two don’t like each other very much. Micah is wearing the same clothes that he wore yesterday. He hasn’t been home, which means he might have been tracking Josh. He must still be furious, ready for anything, most likely ready to make another deal with that Russian gang.
“A couple of years ago I worked for the bastard, so I know what he is capable of,” Hunter adds, and Micah looks at him like he wants to instantly kill him.
“You worked for him and you let him hurt her?”
“I had no idea what he was doing to her in the beginning. Then I went to prison and things—”
“Guys, enough with the whispers, what are you talking about?” I ask, interrupting. I can’t let Hunter tell Micah about the past, about Josh. He knows enough as it is, and it’s better if his imagination doesn’t run wild or there will be even more disagreements between them. I lift myself up to a more comfortable position. The dull pain paralyses me for a moment, and I close my eyes waiting for it to pass. When I look back at the boys, Micah is staring at me. He looks like he didn’t have much sleep last night. “Micah is right. There are TVs all over this hospital and the nurses are bound to recognise me at some point. The news stations haven’t abandoned this story yet. My face could be splashed all over any news channel at any time.”
“Tahlia, you’re too fragile to move. You keep ripping your stitches just lying in bed. What if something happens to you? We would have to bring you back and then the nurses would be suspicious about why you left in the first place.”
“All right, man, we get it. You want her to stay here and get arrested,” Micah snaps. “We need to get her ready.”
Hunter tenses but doesn’t move. I don’t even know how I feel with him being around me again. It’s strange that he is helping me.
“I think we should think about this. What if she starts hemorrhaging?”
“It’s too late. Tequila is waiting for us,” Micah says and starts packing my stuff into his famous rucksack. “Kiki has her ways; she is going to distract the nurses. I know you’re not ready, but we can’t risk keeping you in the hospital. Something is going on in Braxton. Clarke is planning some operation. We need to get out of here right now.”
Hunter folds his muscular arms over his chest, giving me a pleading look not to do this. My body is healing, and I can’t imagine what is going to happen if I have a complication, but I don’t want to risk anyone’s safety staying in the hospital. Everyone has been through enough because of me.
Micah leaves the room several minutes later. Then Tequila walks in and brings a wheelchair into my room. The doctor can come in here, but Tequila, Hunter and Micah begin to lift me up. The pain is radiating from every part of my body. My bandages are getting soaked again, but I don’t say anything. The guys don’t need to worry about things like that. By the time the worst part is over, sweat drips down my face and my heart thumps a hundred miles an hour. Micah doesn’t make eye contact with me, focusing mainly on his task of getting me out. Tequila snaps at Hunter to be more careful. She seems irritated with him for some reason.
Then we wait a couple of minutes. The silence stretches, and uncomfortable tension fills the air. A moment later we all hear something in the corridor and Micah opens the door. When he makes sure that there is no medical staff around, Tequila starts wheeling me away. Micah and Tequila must have been planning this when I was asleep. I’m touched that they are so involved with keeping me safe. A moment later, while I’m being wheeled down the corridor, I catch Kiki standing by the nurses’ desk, bending down holding her stomach, screaming her head off. There are a lot of people around her, doctors and most of the nurses.
In a matter of minutes I’m out off my ward, as the boys wheel me off towards the entrance. No one is paying attention to us, at least for now. My breath is laboured and my chest feels heavy, but that will pass when I’m in bed again. Micah is walking beside Tequila. I have so many questions for him, but things between us are strained, and I don’t know if I ever will be able to get him back.
I think about what Tequila told me. Micah was willing to go against his better judgment. He made an agreement with Russians, just so he could find me. I’m overwhelmed and stunned that he was willing to risk so much for me.
“Right, Tahlia, you have to go in the back. The ride will be uncomfortable, but we don’t have any other choice,” Micah states when we get outside to the car park. He opens the back door to his van. I swallow hard, trying to pretend that being locked up in a small dark space won’t bother me at all, but the old memories are kicking my anxiety back in. Micah wraps his arms around my thighs and back and he quickly lifts me up. His cologne is suddenly indulging my senses and my breath locks up in my chest.
His mouth brushes over my neck, maybe accidentally or maybe because he still wants me. Heat sweeps over my veins with this sudden contact, running down my spine. Our eyes lock for a split second, before he puts me on some blankets inside. His eyes are filled with regret and pain. Then I hear Micah’s harsh voice.
“Ride with her. I’ll drive.”
Anger rolls off me, but I try not to take Micah’s tone of voice personal. He just doesn’t want to be anywhere near me.
Before I can protest, Hunter climbs in and the doors are locked. My stomach starts writhing like a knot of snakes. I swallow the rising panic, locking my eyes with Hunter’s. All of a sudden I feel like I can’t breathe. My oxygen level is going down rapidly. The cramped hole in the wall, the empty space, and rats. Everything is coming back to me. Flashbacks of the worst moments from the past. Panic threatens to take hold of me.
Then someone is touching me, squeezing my hand.
“Just breathe, Tahlia. It’s okay. I’m here, so you don’t have to panic,” the voice tells me. I take a sharp breath, my pulse rising fast. There is always a light in the end of the tunnel. I’m not alone.
“I can’t stop thinking about that basement. I don’t like darkness.”
“I know, but you’re a survivor, a fighter. You’re stronger than you think,” he says, scooping my face in his palms, his blue eyes seeing through me, seeing everything that I have been through. “I’m sorry that I was passive, that I let him hurt you. In prison I tried to intervene, but no one was listening. They were all interested in finding Rat. They offered me a deal, but I turned it down.”
“There was nothing that you could have done,” I whisper.
“No, you’re w
rong. I should have taken that deal,” he says, shaking his head. “It was too late then, but now I’m here and I want to fix this, so let me.”
I nod, and then neither of us says anymore. Hunter keeps holding my hand until the van stops. I take a deep breath of relief when the door opens up and sun blinds me for a moment. My anxiety shoots through the roof, and pain shuts down the good thoughts. Yet again Micah lifts me up but doesn’t touch me this time. I notice that he has marks on his neck, scratches.
“Where are we going?” I ask, when they carry me inside a nice-looking house. It’s not the flat that he rented a couple of weeks ago.
“To your room,” he replies. I frown, confused. “This wasn’t my idea, but Tequila insisted it would be safer for us to stay in her house. Kiki is taking the spare room and Hunter is going to sleep on the sofa.”
“So that means you’re sleeping in my room,” I mutter happily. Micah ignores me. I always knew that Tequila didn’t like staying in one place for a long period of time. The house looks very well kept. Tequila’s second bedroom is stylish and the bed is huge. I have never asked her how she is able to afford a place like this. She never talks about the money, but I know that her family is wealthy.
Micah lays me on the bed. I refuse to bring up the fact that he has to change my bandages. I don’t want to overwhelm him. Besides, I don’t feel too bad right now. He obviously doesn’t want to touch me.
“You should get some sleep. The hospital is probably searching for you. The police will get involved. We need to lay low for now,” Micah explains, giving me a faint smile. This is absurd. We can’t keep pretending that everything is fine, that we don’t need to talk about what happened.
“Micah, where did you go yesterday? Please stay; we need to talk.” Deep down I know he is resentful and angry that I hadn’t said anything earlier.
He tenses his jaw and looks away. I begin to wonder if he is really capable of killing his best friend. I know that Micah finds it hard to believe that someone he bonded with betrayed him like that.
Love & Hate Series Box Set 2 (3-4) - In Too Deep - Skimming the Surface Page 41
