by Brenda Ford
“What?” I snap as my heart sinks. “What is it? I’m already pretty freaked out…”
“Well, Brad hasn’t actually… you know… turned up yet…”
I feel like I might throw up. I have come here to get Brad back and not only does he not know that I’m coming, but he isn’t here. Of all the horrible scenarios I imagined, this wasn’t one of them. Humiliated doesn’t even cover it. I feel cold and shaky all over, like the world is crashing down around me. I step backwards, panicking, my eyes darting everywhere, my body churning like crazy.
This is a nightmare. It has to be a nightmare. I can’t be awake. I just can’t. I thought that I wasn’t going to call Ruby tonight, that was my intension, but now, I might have to…
Chapter Thirty-Six
Brad
“Brad, come on,” Nelson insists while tugging on my arm. “You can’t sit here all day. Come to the barbeque.”
“I don’t want to.” I roll my eyes. “I’m happy here. I don’t want to be at any barbeque. I want to sit here in this bar. I’m waiting for someone anyway. Jeanie is going to meet me here soon.”
I just want to be here, relaxing and having a good time. The barbeque sounds stressful, it’s going to be full of people who want to know what’s going on with me and I don’t have any answers. None that I want to share anyway. Tami still hasn’t been in touch with me and I can’t get myself together. If I was where I wanted to be then fine. But this isn’t it so I will just wait here to see if Jeanie can get out of work and turn up.
“Are you serious?” Nathan claps his hand to his forehead. “Brad, Alex organized all of this for you. He wants to help you and cheer you up after everything that you have been through. He’s trying to make you feel…”
“No one can make me feel anything,” I snap angrily. “Don’t you get it? I feel like shit. Anything that Alex does won’t change that. There isn’t anything that anyone else can do to sort this out.”
Instead of responding to my rant, Nelson rests his hand on my shoulder, trying to reassure me. I know why my brothers sent him to try and drag me out of my favorite bar, but it isn’t going to work.
“Nelson, you shouldn’t be here with me. I’m being a miserable fucker. Just… go to the barbeque and have a good night, okay? I don’t want to go, and nothing will change that. I just want to drown my sorrows.”
“Fine.” Nelson bangs his hands on the bar next to me. “Then I will stay here with you.”
“What? No, I don’t need you to stay. Jeanie will be here soon.”
“Is Jeanie someone that you have slept with at some point?” Nelson rolls his eyes. “Because that’s bad.”
“She is, but it isn’t like that. We’re just friends now, that’s all. She is a laugh.”
Nelson turns away and ignores me, before ordering himself a drink. I guess he’s staying here whether I like it or not. I don’t really want him to stick around because he won’t just let me be. He’ll make me think about what I’m doing with my life which isn’t something anyone wants to do while sinking beer.
“So, instead of drinking beer at home where you can get away with underage drinking, you would rather be here with me having cola?” I snort with laughter. “Honestly, Nelson, have you lost your mind?”
“I know you keep saying that some chick is coming, but I refuse to leave you alone.”
“But I’m fine,” I insist. “I want to be alone. Otherwise I would be at the barbeque already.”
“Yeah, with your family.” I do what I can to ignore his meaningful look. “Who would want that?”
We sit in silence for a little while, just drinking our drinks while thinking. My mind circles over everything that I don’t want to think about, which is why I’m not so keen on Nelson being here. I consider how badly I’m letting my family down, how much I’m bound to be upsetting Alex, how much I just wish Tami was around…
“I’m sorry, Nelson,” I finally say sadly. “I know I’m acting like a dick head at the moment. I don’t want that. I just don’t know how I feel about everything, it’s all so confusing.”
“Trust me, we all get it. We understand. We don’t want to push you, we just want…”
Before he can finish that sentence, his cell phone blasts out loudly and he’s distracted. As soon as he sees whoever is calling him, his eyes flicker wide and he makes a gesture about going outside. I wonder who’s calling him that he needs to speak to in private. It seems like he might have some drama of his own.
Ooh, I’ll ask him about it when he comes back inside. Try and distract Nelson from going on about me. That’s why I want to hang out with Jeanie, because she isn’t going to make me answer all the difficult questions.
“Can I have another drink please?” I ask the female bar tender who only works occasionally.
“Sure, same again?” I nod. “Was that your brother sitting next to you a moment ago?”
“One of my brothers, yes.” I smile. “I have five of them.”
“Oh wow… well, that particular brother… is he single by any chance?”
Ah, now I see what’s going on. She likes Nelson! She’s definitely a little bit older than him, but that doesn’t surprise me. Nelson does have the sort of look that would attract an older woman. Even one in her mid to late twenties. It doesn’t even seem to matter that he’s in high school.
“I think so, yes, why? Would you like me to give him your number or something?”
“Would you?” Her eyes light up with excitement. “That would be amazing, thank you.”
She grabs a napkin and scribbles her number down before sliding it to me. Once upon a time, she would be giving me her number and I would have loved it, but it doesn’t even bother me that it isn’t for me. That part of my life is well and truly behind me. I don’t want anything aside from Tami.
I offer her some cash, but she shakes her head no. Wow, she likes Nelson so much that she’s willing to give me a free drink. This could work out in my favor if things go well between them. Then again, if it gets all fucked up then it could mean I need to find somewhere else to drink. Somewhere without any damn drama.
“Brad, come on,” Nelson declares with a serious insistence as he re-enters the bar. “We need to go now.”
“I’ve already told you that I’m not leaving, Nelson. If you want to go, then do so. Like I already said, Jeanie will be here soon, and I won’t be alone any longer, so you get back.”
“No, they don’t need me, they need you.” He tugs on my arm, winding me up. “Now.”
“Nelson, just leave it!” I shake him off me. “Seriously, I am staying here.”
“Alex has sorted things out for you though and he really wants you at the house now.”
“Alex sorted out the party even though I told him not to! You heard me tell him not to sort out the party.”
“This isn’t just a party though, is it? There is more going on here.”
I shrug it off and turn myself away from Nelson. He isn’t listening to my words, so ignoring him is the only way. I continue to sip my drink defiantly. There isn’t a damn thing that he can say to drag me out of this seat.
“Look, Brad,” he finally says. “It was supposed to be a surprise, but since you’re being a stubborn fuck, I might as well just tell you. Brad, Alex has invited Tami to the barbeque…”
“What?” I bark, temper burning through me in a shot. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Tami was invited to the barbeque. Alex though that by bringing you back together in a calmer more relaxed environment, you would be able to have a much nicer conversation where you may or may not sort things out.”
“Wait, wait.” I rise to my feet with my hands up to silence him. “Wait, so, while you two have been telling me to let Tami have the time and space that she needs, you have been contacting her behind my back.”
“It isn’t like that. Not at all. We all just want to help you.”
“Well, I don’t need your fucking help! I don’t need anything
from anyone. I just want to be left alone to have my drink in peace. Do you know how embarrassing it is to know that Tami has been invited when she isn’t talking to me? I mean, she isn’t going to come, is she? So, why would Alex do that to hurt me?”
“Alex would never do anything to hurt you, and you know that.”
Logically, I do, but I’m not in the right frame of mind for that right now. My emotions have been all stirred and churned up and I’m full of fury. Nelson is about to feel my wrath right now.
“Brad, before you start yelling, just listen to me.” I actually pay attention to his words. Somehow, through everything, my youngest brother has managed to get through to me. “Tami is at the party. She has turned up.”
The wind flows from me. I don’t have any air left at all. I grab on to my chest, trying to stop my heart for beating out of my chest. These words are far too much for me to take in.
“What?” I hiss desperately, staring at Nelson in disbelief.
“She has turned up and it’s Alex’s belief that she is there to get you back.”
The whole world stops around me, I can hardly drink any of it in. I must be asleep, I have to be dreaming, this can’t be happening in real life. I haven’t had any communication from her at all, not one bit, nor has she been active on social media at all. It’s like she’s vanished in to thin air… so she can’t be here.
“Wha… what?” I ask once more. “What are you talking about, Nelson?”
“Tami is at the barbeque, Brad. But I don’t think she will stay long if you aren’t around to talk to.”
“Fuck.” I dart my eyes left and right, unsure what way I need to turn. “Fuck, what do I do?”
“You need to calm yourself down,” Nelson advises. “That’s the first thing. You need to sort yourself out and gather yourself up before you go and see her. You can’t go while you’re in this mess.” I suck in a few deep breaths and nod a couple of times. “Right, then you need to work out what way you want to turn.”
“What do you mean?” I ask curiously, trying to roll those words around in my brain. “What way?”
“Do you want to be with her or not? And I don’t just mean short term, I mean forever.”
“Of course I do. Have I not made that totally obvious?”
“Well, you have, but I just want to be sure. I just want you to take a moment to really think about it, because you and Tami have been through enough. You can’t hurt her anymore. Or yourself.”
“I know.” I nod slowly. “I know all of that. But I haven’t done anything but think. That’s all I’ve done. This isn’t just some situation that I’m heading in to stupidly. I know that Tami is the one for me. She’s all that I want. She makes me happy and I can her too if other people don’t get involved. She’s the one for me.”
“Good.” Nelson looks satisfied with my answer. “I just want to be sure, that’s all. We should get going now. I don’t know how much longer she’s going to be at the barbeque. You need to get her.”
This all feels so rushed, so wild and crazy. So nuts. A bit like a freaking movie or something. But I guess since everything has been so dramatic it makes sense that we reunite in this way. I just hope that the drama is worth it, and we get our happy ever after. It’s been coming for such a long time and we definitely deserve it.
“Time to run.” I turn away from Nelson. “Come on, let’s go.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Tami
“Just have this drink.” Oliver practically shoves a cup into my hands so I can’t refuse. “Just stay for a little while. I feel like I haven’t had much time to talk to you recently.”
Him and Alex share a meaningful look over my head which just makes me want to sob. I want to curl in to a ball and die from embarrassment. This is the worst thing that I have ever been through. I take a sip from the cup but I’m already trying my hardest to make my exit. I dart my eyes backwards, glancing to the door, planning the route that I will take once I finally manage to shake the Smith brothers off. Alex and Angelo move away from me and Oliver and start whispering to one another, probably talking about how pathetic I am.
“What do you want to talk about?” I demand sadly to Oliver. I like him, he’s a nice guy and we do work together but we aren’t exactly close. He is just stalling for time, not trying to keep me here.”
“I want to know how you are, Tami. We haven’t seen you since the hospital…”
“No, well I have had a lot going on.” I fold my arms defensively across my chest. “I know I haven’t been to work but I will be back once I gather myself up. I just need to… you know, recover. It isn’t easy. Because people I worked with were a part of it. Tawny and the rest of them… I can’t face them again.”
“Brad fired them,” Oliver reassured me. “They are long gone. He wouldn’t make you do that.”
“Oh right.” I don’t know why this surprises me. “Well, that’s something I suppose.”
I can’t tell Oliver that I also haven’t been able to face Brad because it’s a little humiliating. Especially with this all going on around me. Instead, I dart my eyes downwards and I try to blink back the tears.
“I’m sorry you have been through such a difficult time. It sucks, Tami.”
“It’s fine.” I shrug despondently. “And look, you have all been so nice to me, but I think that it’s time for me to go now. I need to get out of here and… you know… well, get back to… life.”
Urgh, find a new job, that’s got to be my first point of call. A new job and maybe a new apartment so I’m not so close to the office. I would also prefer to be somewhere that no one knows where I live. I can’t fully relax in my home knowing that Maria got inside and threatened me there. I will be better somewhere else.
I need a fresh start. A new beginning, a brand new chapter from all of this. It might not be what I want, but it’s what life has given me and I need to find a way to make the best of it. Happiness must be there somewhere.
“I don’t want you to leave.” Oliver looks around desperately, but it doesn’t matter. There isn’t anything that anyone can say to me right now to make me stay. This is dreadful and I need to sort it out. “Please, stay.”
I back towards the door and slide through it before Oliver can meet my gaze. I don’t know if he’s looking at me, but it doesn’t matter now. I have turned and I’m about to start running. As soon as I get outside, I know that I’m going to take off at the speed of light and not stop running until I get home. No way.
My face soaks with tears, my heart sinks so low I can hardly stand it, it’s difficult to breathe…
“Oh my God.” I start to run, pushing my body so hard that I don’t realize there is someone else around until I slam hard into a body. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to… to…”
The words fall away as I slide my eyes up the body and find myself looking at Nelson. To be honest, I didn’t even realize that he wasn’t at the party until now. But here he is in front of me, and he isn’t alone…
Brad. He looks stunned as he sees me. But also, like he might have been running to come to me. I quickly theorize that Alex and Angelo must have gone to call him to let him know that I have arrived. At least he came. That’s one good thing, isn’t it? He didn’t run in the opposite direction.
“I’m going inside,” Nelson says quickly with a smile. “Leave you two to it.”
I nod but I don’t look at Nelson because I’m too fixed on Brad. It hasn’t really been that long since I last saw him, but it feels a little like I’m looking at him for the very first time. I study everything about him; his dark eyes, his slightly messy hair, the small particles of stubble forming on his chin.
Love flows through my whole body. Everything that has been foggy, clears. Of course this is the right choice to make. How could I have ever considered walking away? But I’m glad that I took the time away. I needed that space to figure out that there isn’t anything else I would want in the world.
“I just…” I start but am s
ilenced as Brad makes a sound as if he’s going to talk at the same time. “Sorry.”
“No, you carry on,” he says with a smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“I just… I just want to tell you that I’m sorry. Leaving you for a week with no answers mustn’t have been easy. I didn’t mean to, I just needed to clear my head. I shouldn’t have been silent though.”
He relaxes his face in to a smile. “It’s fine. I understand. I know you have had it hard.”
I can see that it’s had an effect on him though. His body language screams with pain. I have destroyed him by leaving him alone. He’s had it even worse than I have during this week.
“Well, I don’t want anyone to get in our way now,” I conclude. “I want to be with you. I love you. That’s enough for me to fight everything and anything with you. I just want us to be happy.”
He pauses for a second and reaches out to grab me. I take a step closer to him and allow him to take me. He scoops me up in to his arms and holds me against his chest. I lean my head on his heart and enjoy the pounding. Each beat is mine and I want to swallow it up whole. I want to listen to this noise.
“I love you too,” Brad whispers softly. “And I’m so glad that you have come back to me.”
I tilt my head upwards and laugh as I catch his eyes. But the laughter is mostly to cover up the emotional tears covering me. They were sad tears but now they are happy ones. I’m basically on a roller coaster.
“Do you want to go to the barbeque?” he asks me quietly. “Because we can if you want to. Or if not, we can head upstairs and hang out in my bedroom instead. Blow the party off.” He wiggles his brows.
“Will your brothers let you do that? It was a struggle to let me go! They really want you there…”
“They just want me to be happy, that’s all. You’re here now, they won’t mind.”
I nod and giggle. As long as Brad thinks that it’s okay then I’m all good. I will do whatever he wants. He takes my hand and pulls me inside, then we go towards the stairs. Laughter and chatter comes from the outside area of the house and the kitchen as well, but no one catches us as we go inside. I feel like a teenager who is in the middle of a torrid affair who is sneaking around. It’s funny. It almost makes me want to laugh out loud.
