The Girl from the Mill

by Chrissie Walsh

  Lacey glared. ‘Don’t you dare spoil today with your petty snobberies and your delusions. Nathan would never have married you. My love for Nathan and his for me goes above and beyond your narrow minded paltry views on society. There’s not a person in this room that’s inferior to either of you. In fact,’ this time it was Lacey’s turn to wave a hand in the direction of the Mill girls, ‘most of them are far more worthy. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’ll go and join them.’

  On her way across the room she was surprised to see Matt deep in conversation with Molly Dewhirst. Matt didn’t usually bother with women but now as he gazed into Molly’s eyes, a warm smile on his lips, he seemed thoroughly at ease. Lacey wondered what they were talking about. Resisting the temptation to eavesdrop she flopped into a chair next to Joan. ‘Phew,’ she gasped, ‘I’ll swing for that pair of besoms before I’m done.’

  Joan adjusted the baby in her lap, not asking to whom Lacey referred. She’d seen her talking with Alice and Violet and knew all about them. ‘I know how you feel. I felt like that about Stanley’s mam. I know you shouldn’t speak ill of the dead but we’ve been a lot happier since Hettie passed over.’ Strangely enough, Joan looked thoroughly miserable as she said it.

  However, Lacey didn’t notice. ‘I can well believe it. And whilst I’m not wishing either of them dead, they’d better keep out of my way or they soon will be.’ Her empty threats made Joan smile, but the smile did not reach her eyes.

  ‘Is something wrong, Joanie?’

  ‘Nowt,’ Joan replied abruptly, quickly changing the subject. ‘Look at your Matt wi’ Molly Dewhirst. That’s a turn up for t’books. I can’t ever remember him bothering with a woman afore.’

  ‘Nor me,’ Lacey agreed, ‘but he appears to be taken with Molly.’

  ‘It wa’ kind of you to invite her. She needs a bit o’ cheering up, what wi’ her losing her husband an’ having to come back to live wi’ her mam. That little lad of hers is only two.’

  Lacey and Joan looked over at Matt and Molly, Matt playfully entertaining Molly’s son. Joan caught her bottom lip between her teeth and her eyes filled with tears. ‘Her husband had only been three days in France when he wa’ killed.’

  ‘Don’t upset yourself, Joanie.’

  ‘I can’t help it! I wasn’t going to say owt ‘cos I didn’t want to spoil your day but…’ She took a deep breath, ‘Stanley’s joined up. He went down to t’Drill Hall and signed up without telling me.’

  Lacey gasped. ‘Whatever made him do that?’

  Joan sighed so deeply it wafted baby James’s hair. ‘He says it’s his duty. He wanted to get it over and done with ‘cos he says they’ll all be called up afore long. The soldier in the Drill Hall said as much.’

  Lacey glanced across the room to where Stanley stood laughing at something Joshua was telling him. ‘Don’t worry, Joanie. Stanley’ll be all right. He knows how to take care of himself.’ Even to Lacey’s ears the words lacked conviction and her heart ached, not just for Joan but also for herself. Would she and Nathan have just the next few days to get to know one another as man and wife before he was taken from her, never to return?

  21

  It was the furthest Lacey had ever travelled: sixty odd miles to the east coast resort of Scarborough for a honeymoon lasting three days; a rather grand idea, for neither her parents nor Joan, nor any of Lacey’s married friends had had the luxury of a three day holiday in a hotel by the sea. Day trips to seaside towns being the norm for the inhabitants of Garsthwaite, it was almost unheard of to stay overnight in a hotel.

  They arrived at lunchtime, having travelled by train from Huddersfield to Leeds and then to Scarborough, a new experience for Lacey. Although the town still bore the scars of war inflicted by German gunboats the previous December, it did not detract from Lacey and Nathan’s pleasure, however, it did make the war seem uncomfortably close to Garsthwaite.

  ‘We tend to think the fighting only takes place in foreign places, but here it was almost on our doorstep.’

  ‘It was a filthy, cowardly act,’ said Nathan as they walked the short distance from the railway station to their hotel. ‘The Germans sailed in under cover of a fog bank, firing volley after volley of shells into a defenceless little town. It’s fortunate it happened in winter when there were fewer visitors – even so several people lost their lives, children included.’

  ‘Oh look!’ cried Lacey, as they walked past the wreckage of the fine building that had been the Grand Hotel, ‘I see what you mean. A place like this would have been full of people in summer—’ she paused thoughtfully. ‘Fancy, coming on holiday and ending up dead at the hands of the Germans.’

  ‘The Germans show no respect for the laws of war; men, women and children, it’s all the same to them.’ He slowed his pace, and taking Lacey’s elbow he ushered her up the steps into a large hotel.

  Impressed by the fine Victorian façade and the atrium with its marble pillars and sweeping staircase, Lacey felt slightly overwhelmed. Fidgeting nervously whilst Nathan spoke to the receptionist, she couldn’t help but smile when she heard him ask for Mr and Mrs Nathan Brearley’s accommodation: Mrs Nathan Brearley; she’d have to get used to that name. Her joy was complete when she saw the beautifully appointed bedroom with its quilt laden four poster and views over the sea front.

  After they had eaten a rather sparse ham salad, they walked the high, rocky promontory jutting into the North Sea to visit the castle. As they wandered through the ruins Lacey imagined the inhabitants of long ago and the events shaping their lives, awestruck by the timelessness of it all. On the cliff edge she watched the eternal ebb and flow of the tide, waves crashing on the rocks below.

  ‘I’d have liked to have been a pirate queen,’ she said, recalling a story from her childhood.

  Nathan laughed. ‘Ever the renegade, Lacey: not for you the lady promenading with parasol in hand but a woman with fire in her soul, giving orders to her motley crew.’

  ‘I’d have been a pirate who smuggled in goods to help poor people, those who couldn’t afford to pay the tax on tea, tobaccy and brandy, and silk to make dresses. I’d have let them have it cheap so they had some of the comforts the rich folk had.’

  ‘Now you’re sounding more like Robin Hood.’

  Lacey grinned at the comparison, then, her tone serious, added, ‘There’s a great divide between rich and poor which must be narrowed if we’re to make the world a fairer place. I know there has to be leaders, men and women with greater acumen than the rest of us, but there should be no place for cruelty and deliberately imposed hardships. That’s what I hate most.’

  Nathan drew her close, kissing the top of her head. ‘I suppose you’ll still continue to fight for your beliefs now you’re a married woman – one who will very shortly be left alone.’ His voice expressed his misgivings; he didn’t like to think of Lacey embroiled in Union activity, challenging adversaries – or alienating his father – without him there to protect her. ‘You don’t have to work in the Mill now we’re married. My allowance will keep you.’

  Lacey eased back and gazed up at him, her expression thoughtful. ‘I’ll not give it up immediately; not until we’ve addressed certain issues but…’ Sounding wistfully earnest, she added, ‘I do have my own ambitions. I want to make something of myself, Nathan.’ Before he could respond, she pulled him close, crying, ‘But hey! We’re on our honeymoon so no more serious talk, Mr Brearley. Let’s make these three days a joy to remember.’

  Shadows lengthening, they walked back to the hotel, Lacey’s thoughts straying to the night ahead. She wanted to make love with Nathan; she just wasn’t sure how to go about it and, more to the point, she wasn’t sure Nathan did either. He’d never hinted at a close relationship with any other woman. Still, thought Lacey, as they made their way up to the bedroom after eating a hearty evening dinner in the hotel dining room, we can learn together.

  And they did.

  Lolling against the plump feather pillows Lacey contemplated how amazingly g
ratifying it had been. Having heard the women at work grumble at having to satisfy their husband’s conjugal rights, she had expected to be subjected to discomfort, even terrible pain. How wrong she had been. Nathan’s gentle caresses had aroused her to such a pitch that everything that came afterwards had seemed second nature, the most natural and beautiful thing in the world. After that first night, lovemaking was as effortless as drawing breath.

  Their town pallor blown away by bracing sea breezes, Lacey and Nathan returned to Garsthwaite and the house in Towngate, eager to settle down as a married couple even if it was only for a few days. On Nathan’s last night at home, in the sparsely furnished bedroom, he noticed that his usually talkative wife had not spoken for some time. Concerned, he asked, ‘What are you thinking about, Lacey?’

  Lacey sighed. ‘I was thinking how much I’ll miss you when you’re gone.’

  ‘Not as much as I’ll miss you: you’ve completely changed my life. Just let’s hope nothing untoward happens to me whilst I’m away.’ Nathan kissed her, Lacey aware of how much she would miss his kisses, his company and their lovemaking. They climbed into bed, luxuriating in what, for the foreseeable future, was their last night together. Afterwards, they lay entwined, hearts beating in tandem, minds filled with dread.

  Nathan reached up and stroked Lacey’s glorious tumble of hair. ‘I swear you are the most wonderful creature I ever set eyes on. I’ll carry your image in my heart wherever they send me. You have brought me more joy than I thought possible, and if this should be our last night together, the memories of the time we’ve shared will sustain me until the day I die.’

  Lacey shuddered. Pressing her fingers to his lips, the thought of losing him left her barely able to breathe, let alone speak. Finding her voice, she whispered, ‘I love you more than life itself. From when we first met I knew we were meant to share the rest of our lives together and,’ Lacey’s words rang with utter conviction, ‘we will, Nathan, we will. I’ll live every day with the certainty you’ll come back to me.’

  Clinging to one another they fell into dreamless sleep.

  *

  Lacey wakened later than usual the following morning, Nathan’s warm, hard body pressed close to hers. Moving carefully so as not to wake him she rested on one elbow, gazing down into the adored face. He looked more handsome than ever, his features chiselled, his skin tanned from the long hours he’d spent out in the open air during training.

  Tomorrow, Lacey thought, I’ll wake and find him gone: to where and for how long only God knows. She leaned over and brushed her lips against his. Nathan stirred, a smile stretching his mouth under hers. He opened his eyes and gazed lovingly into Lacey’s then, gently rolling her over onto her back he made love to her, slowly, sweetly and tenderly. They stayed like this for several minutes, drinking in every detail of each other’s face and, as though to imprint them on their memories, with hands and lips they fixed the sense of touch and taste.

  Before Nathan went away, he again raised the matter of Lacey not returning to work at the mill. ‘No Nathan, I’m not ready to leave just yet,’ she told him, ‘the issue of equal pay for equal work has yet to be resolved. I want to be there when it is. Once I start something I have to see it through to the end.’

  *

  Four days after Nathan’s departure Lacey practically ran all the way to Netherfold, so eager was she to shake off the emptiness of the house in Towngate. In the yard, she clapped her hands to shoo away the gaggle of geese standing sentry outside the kitchen door. The geese stood fast, riveting her with their baleful, beady eyes. Lacey tried again, this time waving her arms and hallooing. Her cries brought Edith to the door.

  She laughed heartily at the sight of the geese barring Lacey’s entrance then dismissed them with a sharp flick of the wrist and a few well chosen words. Lifting their wings, the geese haughtily turned tail and flapped across the yard.

  Now it was Lacey’s turn to laugh. ‘It’s well they do as their mistress tells ‘em; they took no notice of me.’

  Edith grinned. ‘As good as guard dogs, they are. There’s not many ‘ud get past that lot.’

  ‘Don’t I know it. I’ve missed having the backs of my legs nipped black an’ blue since I moved to Towngate.’

  Edith led the way into the kitchen, Lacey breathing in the familiar smells. She loved the house in Towngate but Netherfold still felt like home.

  ‘How do, Lacey, luv.’ Matt, on his hands and knees in the middle of the kitchen floor, smiled up at her. ‘Say hello to your Auntie Lacey,’ he urged the toddler kneeling beside him.

  Lacey smiled down at the bonny, blonde child. ‘Eeh, if I’d known David was here I’d have brought sweets.’

  ‘No need,’ Matt said, ‘me Dad buys a shop full every weekend.’ He lifted David to his feet. ‘Let’s take Auntie Lacey into t’parlour to your Mam an’ Granpa Jos.’ David toddled off, Matt behind him.

  ‘I’ll come in a minute,’ Lacey called after them. ‘I want a word with Mam.’

  Alone with Edith, Lacey said, ‘I think our Matt’s in love. I’ve never seen him so happy.’

  ‘Me neither,’ said Edith, smiling fondly. ‘Molly’s good for him. She’s a lovely lass, an’ our Matt adores little David.’ Edith piled home-cooked ham and tomato sandwiches on a plate. Lacey put cups on a tray whilst Edith mashed the tea then set out a homemade cake. ‘It’s only plain sponge,’ said Edith, clucking her tongue, ‘there’s no dried fruit to be had these days. I’m not short of butter an’ eggs but sugar an’ flour are getting scarcer by the week what with all this carry on wi’ t’Germans.’

  Lacey thought of the solitary tea she would otherwise have eaten in Towngate. ‘It’s grand, Mam, an’ as long as you have your own hens an’ your friends with cows to keep you in butter, we’ll not starve.’ She filled a jug with milk and placed the sugar bowl on the tray. ‘I’m glad I invited Molly to my wedding, otherwise Matt would never have met her.’

  ‘So am I,’ Edith replied, ‘I shouldn’t wonder but what they’ll get married in a year or so. They have to wait a while ‘cos it’s not a year since her husband wa’ killed.’ Edith lowered her voice to a whisper. ‘I don’t think she grieved him too much. It wasn’t a happy marriage from what I can make out. It seems he wa’ a boozer and quick wi’ his fists.’

  ‘She’ll notice a difference with our Matt then. He’s as steady and softhearted as anybody I know.’

  Edith nodded agreement. ‘It’s good to see you all settled. Even our Jimmy, bless him, seems content. His regiment’s moving to the south coast in a week or two and,’ her voice wobbled, ‘he thinks France will be the next stop.’

  An involuntary shudder made the crockery on the tray in Lacey’s hands clink noisily. She placed it back on the table. ‘For all I know, Nathan could be there already,’ she said, ‘I haven’t heard from him since he went back. Let’s hope we stay lucky. Stanley hasn’t come to any harm as yet, thank God, although he’s in some awful place in France, up to his knees in mud and muck. Joan worries about him something shocking and I don’t blame her. Maybe the war’ll end soon and they’ll all come home safe.’ She sounded dreadfully sad.

  Edith frowned. ‘Are you settling in Towngate, luv? You must be awfully lonely all by yourself in that big house. You could have stayed on here.’

  ‘I know, but I love the house; and there’s so much to do. I’ve sewed new curtains and cushions since you last visited. They really brighten the place up,’ Lacey said, her forced cheerfulness not escaping Edith’s notice.

  Throwing up her hands in exasperation, she said, ‘Eeh, that pot o’ tea’ll a gone cold. I’ll have to brew another.’

  The pot replenished, mother and daughter went through to the parlour where Joshua, Matt, Molly and young David awaited them.

  ‘I wa’ beginning to wonder where you’d got to,’ said Joshua. ‘What kept you?’

  Edith flicked her eyes in Lacey’s direction and shook her head, the frown on her face begging Joshua not to expect an answer. She’d con
fide in him later.

  For the next hour, in the comfort of Netherfold, Lacey was almost her old self but all too soon it was time to return to Towngate.

  Lacey put on her coat. ‘I’d best be off.’

  ‘Nay, you can stay a bit a longer, can’t you?’ Joshua, suspecting all was not well, was concerned for his only daughter. Throughout the past hour she’d done her best to appear happy but the spark had gone out of her. Where was the funny, cocky, spirited girl he loved?

  Her coat buttoned, her bag in her hand, Lacey shook her head. ‘Best not. I might get too comfortable.’ She didn’t want to worry her parents by letting them know how dreadfully lonely she was in the rambling house in Towngate.

  *

  Letting herself in to what was now her home, Lacey went into the sitting room. With Matt’s help, she had painted its walls in pale pastel shades, reflecting the light from two large windows. Curtains and cushions in rich, bright fabrics enhanced the dark leather couches and chairs.

  Lacey flopped into a chair, thinking that maybe she should have stayed at Netherfold whilst Nathan was away. But the more she thought about it the more she realised she had to pull herself together and do something positive, make something happen.

  Later that same evening, Lacey popped round to Scar End. Since Stanley’s departure she visited Joan at least three evenings a week for now she understood how lonely her cousin must be. Like thousands of women throughout the country Joan spent her days worrying over the safety of her man, and now Lacey herself was doing the same.

  ‘Stanley says he doesn’t think he can stick it much longer,’ Joan said listlessly. ‘His feet are rotten, what with standing in muddy water for days on end, an’ there’s rats in the trenches as big as cats.’ Tea slopped from the cup she was holding and she cried, ‘What’ll I do if he doesn’t come back?’