Run To Me

by Erin Trejo

  “Who the fuck are you?” Lynx growls as he eyes Luke.

  “Her boyfriend,” he says, holding his head high. Lynx chuckles under his breath. I pull out of Chip’s arms and turn to him.

  “What the hell does this mean, Lynx?”

  He blows out a breath before running his hand through his hair again. God, I remember what it used to feel like when I’d do it.

  “I don’t know. No one knows where I am except one person.”

  “Your dad?”

  “You really think I’d fuckin’ tell him where I went?” he yells at me.

  “Don’t scream at her!” Luke steps in between us.

  I move around him, inserting myself between the two of them. I’m more than capable of taking care of myself and they both need to realize it.

  “No one knows I’m here! There is no fucking way. I’ve been here for the last five years, Lynx, and I’ve never had a problem until now!”

  Lynx steps closer to me, invading my space.

  “I’ve only been here a few weeks, Harper. There’s no way in fuck they knew I was comin’.”

  “So now what?” I challenge him back.

  “Nothin’. You and the accountant go back to your borin’ little lives,” he hisses. My chest aches as I look into his eyes.

  “And that box?”

  “It’s nothin’ to you. It’s my past, not yours.”

  “It was sent to my house, asshole!”

  “Then get a fuckin’ dog, Harper!” With that he turns and walks away from me.

  The rest of us stand here in a stunned silence unable to comprehend what just happened here. I for one am confused as hell. Luke stands with his mouth hanging open, pissing me off a little more.

  “I think that went well,” Josie adds, breaking the tension. I giggle unable to stop myself. I don’t know what the hell I’m laughing at. None of this is funny, but the bubbling laughter refuses to be contained.

  “It was a finger,” I laugh harder.

  “You think that’s funny?” Luke asks, looking at me in disgust.

  “A little. I mean, if it was a hand that might have been worse, but it was only one finger!” I double over holding my stomach as I laugh harder. It’s borderline hysteria, but I’m helpless to stop it. Josie walks over, placing a hand on my shoulder before pulling me in for a hug. This sobers me instantly.

  “No one knew I was here, Josie. No one.”

  Chapter 9

  Lynx

  “You sure you don’t mind me stayin’ here?” I ask Chip as I carry in my small bag.

  “Nah, you’re welcome here. You’ll meet my brother now and I know Josie doesn’t mind if you’re here.”

  I cringe at the thought. Where there’s Josie there’s Harper. I don’t want to see her but a part of me is dying inside. She looks so goddamn gorgeous, just like I remembered her. Her hair’s longer, her body filled out more in all the right places.

  “Appreciate you lettin’ me stay. The clubhouse was gettin’ into shit and I don’t wanna end up back in the pen. Not yet anyway,” I chuckle. Chip laughs and leads me down a hallway.

  “Fuck that. We did enough time. This is the spare room. Mine and Stan’s are upstairs. You got free reign, man.”

  I drop my bag onto the bed before turning to him. He pulls me in, patting my back in a man hug that I’ve grown used to from him. Before, I didn’t like anyone touching me. I didn’t like anyone that close to me. But I’ve let him in and gotten used to his ways. He’s like a brother to me so it doesn’t bother me anymore.

  “I mean it, Chip. Thanks for all this,” I tell him once more.

  “You kept me sane in there, man. Kept my ass out of trouble. This is the least I can do for you.”

  I nod my head as he turns to leave the room. Dropping down onto the bed, I sigh. I don’t know what the hell is happening to me. Pulling my phone out, I call the one person who can help me figure this out. Vic.

  “Hey?”

  “Got a question for you,” I say, trying to keep my tone as calm as possible.

  “What’s up, brother?”

  “Shit’s off, brother. I’m workin’, yeah? It’s all good ‘til I see the girl workin’ next door.” I pause to gather my thoughts before I drop my bomb. “It’s Harper.”

  “What the fuck? You’re shittin’ me? What the hell is she doin’ out there?”

  I listen intently to the sound of his voice, trying to pick out any lie that may be slipping through, but just like I thought, I don’t hear it.

  “Don’t know, brother. How’s shit there?”

  “It’s goin’. Just like always. Miss the fuck outta you, but we’re good.”

  “Nothin’ interestin’ happenin’?” I need to know what he knows without giving him too much information. If this shit didn’t come from my dad, I don’t know who would be behind it.

  “Hell no. You know how it is around here. Just doin’ what we do, Lynx. You good? Like for real? Need anything?”

  “No, man. I’m good. Just checkin’ in.” Lies. It’s all I ever do anymore. I lie about everything. My thoughts, my feelings. Everything.

  “Good to hear your voice, brother. Keep in touch,” Vic says before the line goes dead.

  I stuff my phone back in my pocket before standing and grabbing my cigarettes. I head back out of the room and back outside, dropping onto the porch to light up.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  I hear Josie’s voice next to me. I look over my shoulder and see her standing in the doorway.

  “Suppose so.”

  “What was your relationship with Harper?”

  I blow the smoke through my nose, looking out at the sky. “She was my girlfriend before I went to prison. I beat the fuck outta her foster dad.”

  “She said you told her to run. You saved her,” she adds.

  “Yeah, somethin’ like that.”

  “She still has feelings for you, for what it’s worth,” she says softly.

  I inhale deeply, pulling the nicotine into my lungs before shoving up and turning to face her. I don’t want to have this conversation with her. Not after seeing Harper. That brought back far too many feelings that I’ve long since kept locked away. The thought of her leaving me still pisses me off.

  “Don’t matter anymore. I appreciate what you’re doin’, but me and Harper are done. She left me, and that’s somethin’ I’m not sure I can forgive.”

  She watches me closely before nodding her head. “I understand that. Just thought you might like to know that she never got over you completely,” she says.

  “What’s going on out here?” Another man that looks just like Chip appears.

  “Nothing. Just talking to our guest,” Josie says with a smile.

  “I’m Stan.”

  “Lynx.”

  “Good to meet the man that kept my brother’s head straight,” he says, shaking my hand.

  “He did a lot for me, too,” I tell him in return.

  “Is your friend still coming for dinner?” he asks, turning to Josie. Her cheeks turn pink as she quickly looks away from me.

  “Look, we might have a past but don’t think you have to change shit since I’m here. I appreciate you lettin’ me stay, Josie,” I say, catching her gaze.

  “It’s just, she doesn’t really have anyone but me and Luke and he’s barely around.”

  I shake my head. “It’s fine, darlin’. I promise.”

  “Well, we’re cooking on the grill and I’m inviting a few guys I work with. You might make some new friends while you’re here, Lynx.” I nod my head at Stan before he turns and heads back inside.

  “I meant what I said,” I reassure Josie. I can see the look in her eyes. She doesn’t want to be in the middle of this mess, but she is either way you look at it.

  “I just don’t like leaving her alone is all. I know how she gets.”

  How she gets? What does that mean?

  “What do you mean?” Josie fiddles with the hem of her shirt, looking everywhe
re but at me. It’s annoying as fuck, but I get what she’s doing. She’s afraid to tell me too much, and to be honest, I don’t know how much I want to know about her. I’m still pissed, five years later and that anger still simmers inside of me.

  “She gets depressed a lot. She thought about killing herself once,” she says softly, a hitch in her voice. I curse under my breath, tugging at my hair.

  “I didn’t know.”

  “You couldn’t have. She just gets in these states where she can’t think straight. Memories plague her more than she lets on. I can see it in her eyes. She thinks I don’t notice, but I do,” she explains. “She cries her little heart out and then she just shuts down. It’s been getting harder and harder to pull her back out of that darkness each time.”

  “I could stand here and lie to you, but that’s not the kind of man I am. I loved her, Josie. With all my goddamn heart, but when she took off and never came to see me. It fuckin’ crushed me. I spent five years in hell all because of her and I didn’t even get a goddamn note. She never said goodbye.”

  “I tried to find you,” her voice says softly behind me.

  I lower my head before I turn to face her. She’s killing me. All over again and I can’t handle that this time around.

  “Don’t you think that I deserved to hear you say goodbye?”

  “Yes. You did but when I went to the clubhouse your d-”

  “You went there? Are you fuckin’ insane, Harper?” I thunder. Why the hell would she go there without me?

  “I wanted to know what happened to you!”

  “So fuckin’ stupid, Harper. What the fuck were you thinkin’? How many damn times did I tell you to not go there without me? Huh? And you still fuckin’ went there!” Rage courses through me as I let it all sink in. Is that how they found her? Did they follow her after that? Who the hell would want to follow her anyway? I’m so fucking confused and she isn’t helping at all.

  “You were gone, Lynx! I wanted to know what happened. The cops wouldn’t tell me anything. Your dad said you were in for life. That’s when I left!”

  Josie moves down the steps, walking over to put her arm around Harper’s shoulders. “Let’s calm down,” she says softly.

  I knew it wasn’t for me, it was for her. Even though the doctor said Harper’s heart is okay, I know everyone is concerned after she passed out. I take another drag from my cigarette before dropping it to the ground and snuffing it out before walking away. We went back and got my bike and brought it here before, and now seems like as good of time as any to take a ride. I need to clear my damn head before I lose myself. She’s doing this to me. Even after all these years. Even though I hate her, she’s still got the power to bring me to my goddamn knees.

  “Don’t leave.” Her voice is so low and soft that it breaks me even more.

  Chapter 10

  Harper

  I don’t want him to go. I don’t want him to stay. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, but the more I see him, the more my heart aches for something it will never have again. His love.

  “I need space, Harper.”

  “You’re staying here?”

  He turns to face me and my heart leaps. His big blue eyes are so dull that it kills me. The sparkle isn’t there. There was always a sparkle shining bright in his eyes, but it’s now gone – nowhere to be found, doused by the past that tore us in two. I step toward him, watching as he swallows hard. When I’m close enough, I reach out and run my fingers over the motorcycle charm that’s hanging on his neck that I gave him that night.

  “You kept it,” I whisper.

  “It meant a lot to me.”

  “Meant?”

  “Yeah. It was your love, Harper. It was your trust in me. Now it’s just a reminder of the bitch that you became. I wanna keep that so that I never forget what you did to me. How you fuckin’ broke me,” he hisses.

  I jerk my hand back as if it was burned. Lynx watches me with no emotion in his eyes. Nothing. He feels nothing for me anymore and can I really blame him for that? Not really, but it doesn’t make the hurt any less. He may hate me, but my love for him never died. I just had to let it go in order to survive.

  “I never meant for that to happen, Lynx. I ran, I never looked back.”

  “I already know that part,” he mumbles.

  “When he said you got life, I lost it. I knew I couldn’t go back to Cheryl’s because she would just let Dave back in when he got out. I knew what would happen to me, and I wasn’t ready to die. That’s the price I would have to pay. I didn’t want to die. I already felt like I had when you were sent away,” I tell him as tears fill my eyes.

  “I didn’t want you to die either,” he says softly. So softly I nearly didn’t hear him.

  “I packed up a few days later and left. I caught rides until I got here. I was going to keep going but I met Josie. She was good to me,” I tell him. I spill my fucking guts because there’s a need inside of me. A need for him to know and I can tell by the look in his eyes that he needs to hear this as much as I need to tell him.

  “No one hurt you? Touched you?” he asks almost as if it pains him. Shaking my head slowly, I wipe the tears from my cheeks.

  “No. Everyone I got a ride with was pretty nice. I paid them what I could.”

  “That’s good. I’m glad you made it safely, Harper. I just… I need to go,” he says and my heart nearly cracks in half.

  “Please, don’t.”

  “What do you want from me, Harper? You ran off! You left me to rot in fuckin’ hell and you moved on! You got a boyfriend and now I’m just in the way. I can’t do this shit anymore,” he roars. I jolt when I hear the door open and close, knowing that someone is out here listening to our little showdown.

  “I don’t know what I want. I just feel content when you’re here,” I admit stupidly, gazing down at my feet as I play with the hem of my shirt.

  “Content? You fuckin’ feel content with a man who hates you?” His eyes narrow but he’s tugging at his hair. That was always a sign that he was nervous about what he said. I learned that a long time ago. That little memory gives me a sliver a hope. Not one that I was ready to grasp on to, but just enough to keep me talking, to apologize one last time.

  “I’m sorry, Lynx. I’m really sorry,” I cry harder. Steps come up behind me, Josie’s arms wrapping around my waist.

  “Why don’t we go out back and start cooking?” she says trying to diffuse the tension between the two of us. “Lynx?”

  “Yeah. I’m good. Thanks, Josie.” He walks past us, brushing his arm against mine. Tears flood out of me now as Josie holds me close.

  “He hates me, Josie. The one man, the only man, I’ve ever loved and he hates me.”

  “The only man?”

  Oh God, could my night get any worse? I lift my head to see Luke standing there with a case of beer in his hand. He sets it at his feet and walks toward us.

  “Luke, I-”

  “The only man, Harper? So what is it you feel for me?” he asks, cocking his head to the side. His voice is angry and his body is strung tightly.

  I open my mouth but words don’t form. I don’t know what to say but I know in my heart I never loved Luke. My stomach churns as I search to explain things, but Luke begins to seethe as the truth becomes evident.

  “I don’t, I never…”

  “You don’t love me? After all these years?” he screams.

  “You don’t understand, Luke. It’s not what you think,” I try to explain but he doesn’t let me. Stan’s friends pull up and filter out of the car and around us as we stand in a silent standoff.

  “Oh, I think I understand. You love that piece of shit still.”

  “The fuck you just call me?”

  No. He didn’t just hear that.

  “You heard me, asshole!” Lynx moves around me quickly, grabbing Luke by the shirt.

  “Say one more thing, pretty boy. I fuckin’ dare you,” Lynx hisses in his face. The amount of anger in him is unnerving.
Lynx was never one to be called names without a fight.

  “Stop! Both of you!” I scream, moving to stand in the middle. I slide under Lynx’s arms and shove my way between them. “Back off.” Pushing at Lynx hard chest, he holds steady.

  “I don’t need this! I don’t need any of this. When you’re done slumming with the prison thug, call me, Harper! I didn’t realize you wanted a man to treat you like a common whore,” Luke snaps.

  The growl that escapes Lynx shocks me. One of his hands releases Luke only to shove me out of the way. I stumble and nearly fall to the ground when I see him pull back and punch Luke.

  “Call her a whore one more time!” Lynx roars before climbing on top of him where he now lies on the ground. He throws more punches as Luke tries to block them. I scream at the sight of blood. Who the hell knew a dismembered finger wouldn’t affect me but seeing my ex now beating the shit out of my current boyfriend would. Chip and his friends rush around the house, pulling them apart.

  “Get the hell out of here, Luke!” Chip growls. He pushes Lynx back but that doesn’t stop him from trying to get to Luke again. Luke quickly stands, rushing to his car without another word. He definitely looked worse for the wear as blood dripped from his nose and he eye was already showing signs of swelling.

  I stand here stunned when Lynx shoves Chip off him and storms inside. I look around at everyone now watching me before I follow behind him.

  “Lynx!” I call his name but he storms through the living room and down the hallway. “Lynx! Stop!” He doesn’t. He walks into a room and slams the door in my face, but I reach down and turn the knob going in anyway. I refuse to be pushed away. His response ignited something in me. Did I want to see him fight Luke? Of course not, but his reaction would not have been so visceral if he really hated me like he claimed.

  When I walk into the room, I watch him pace the floor, his hands balled into fists. He’s a caged, angry tiger right now. And yet, I’m not afraid. I never was when I with him. Even with this display of rage, all I want to do is reach out rather than run away. And because I’m pissed and ready to have it out with him.