Run To Me

by Erin Trejo

“Loved. You loved me. You don’t anymore, do you, Harper?” I can feel it. Something is different now. It’s different and I can’t place it, but I sure as fuck can feel it.

  “I’ve always loved you, Lynx. I’ve never stopped. It’s just…it’s all a mess and different now.”

  Her words nearly shatter my soul. I close my eyes and take a deep breath trying to control the rage that eats away at my insides.

  “Love doesn’t change, Harper. You either love me or you don’t. It’s that simple,” I tell her. I didn’t realize it until Chip made me see it. And I know I’m being an asshole, but I’m putting my life on the line for this girl. I’m moving her around place to place to keep her safe. I’m losing my goddamn sanity!

  “Everything changes, Lynx! You’ve changed! I’ve changed!”

  “The only difference now is your little boyfriend! You love him?” I snap. She watches me with narrowed eyes wondering where I’m going with this. I’m asking myself the same damn thing. I have her here, back in my life and I’m struggling with that. My heart is in a war with my mind and I can’t stop it.

  “Not like I loved-”

  “Loved. That goddamn word again, Harper!” I snap with my cigarette hanging between my lips I grab her shoulders and force her to look at me. I’m so pissed I can barely see straight.

  “Loved? Is that what it was? Is it all over now? Tell me somethin’ real here, Harper! I’ve been fallin’ apart for five goddamn years, and to hear you keep sayin’ loved is rippin’ my fuckin’ soul in half!” I shake her slightly as tears fill her eyes. I can’t do this. Not now. I let her go and take a step back, shaking my head before snuffing the cigarette out in the ashtray. “I can’t do this,” I whisper before turning and grabbing the rest of my clothes. I dress quickly and head for the door.

  “Lynx!” she screams through her tears.

  “What?”

  “I do love you. I do.”

  I need those words, but they don’t soothe my soul. I lower my head and pull the door open.

  “Yeah, just not enough.”

  I slam the door behind me and jog down the stairs and out the door. I have no doubt she’ll stay in the room. I don’t have to worry about her here. I head to my bike, climb on, and rev up the engine. Fury is growing redder and hotter inside of me. I speed out of the parking lot and down the road. My head is a mess. I’m confused, I’m pissed, and I don’t even know why. The world was slowly coming back together for me only to be blown apart by her. I can’t think straight, and before I know it, I’m sitting in front of Chip’s place. He must have heard the bike pull up; he stands on the porch watching me.

  “She okay?”

  “Yeah. She’s fine. I just needed out of there. Away from her, yeah?” Chip nods and motions for me to come inside. I don’t know if that’s a good idea with Josie but I do it anyway. If anyone understands me, it’s Chip. He’s been my friend for the past five years. I step inside and follow him through the kitchen. He grabs a case of beer and heads out the back door with me following behind him.

  “This might be needed,” he says with a chuckle. I nod and sit in the chair next to him, grabbing a beer.

  “It’s a mess, man. We don’t know how to move on from back then. Neither of us. She wants it all to go back to how it was, but she can’t even look me in the eyes and tell me she loves me. It’s always loved. I loved you. So that means not anymore, yeah?”

  Chip shrugs grabbing himself a beer. “Maybe it’s just harder for her to admit it now. It’s been years, Lynx. You still hate her to a point, don’t you?”

  Fuck, he’s right.

  “Not as much as I did. There were better ways to go about leavin’. Fuck. She could have told me to my face!”

  “I couldn’t.”

  I close my eyes when I hear her voice.

  “How the hell did you get here?” I ask without looking over my shoulder at her.

  “I tried to leave. One of the girls brought me.” Assholes.

  “Come sit with us,” Chip says, motioning to the chair across from me. Harper moves, her scent slamming into me as she walks past. I keep my eyes closed, trying to remain calm.

  “You shouldn’t have left there.”

  “It’s not my place to be there, Lynx. Never was.”

  “And yet you wanted me knowin’ what came with it, yeah?” I snap my eyes open, locking my gaze with hers.

  “I wanted you. That was an easy decision.”

  “You two need to talk this out. You’re mad because of how she left. She told you her side of that. She thought you were in for life,” Chip says, looking between us.

  “Thought you were my boy?” I hiss at him.

  “Fuck you, Lynx. I am or you wouldn’t be here. What I’m saying is, you both fucked up. You both know it, right?” I nod my head and so does Harper. “She should have come to you and tol-”

  “I couldn’t! I couldn’t look at you and say goodbye. I never wanted it to be goodbye, Lynx. I would have given my life for yours!” Harper cuts him off as she screams through the tears. I study her face, watching the emotion in her words. It strips me bare and leaves me vulnerable to her.

  “You could count the scars on my heart from losin’ you,” I whisper softly. I look into her eyes and see the softness in her. She stands and moves toward me, climbing in my lap, straddling me. Her hands come up to cup my cheeks.

  “I miss the part when I was falling in love so hard with you,” she whispers before kissing me gently. I close my eyes and let the feelings work their way through me.

  “I don’t want to waste the rest of my life chasin’ the past, Harper.” Her head rests against mine.

  “I don’t regret a day that I was yours, Lynx. Not one single day. I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

  Chapter 16

  Harper

  Life has a funny way of showing you that it wants you happy. I never thought I’d find my happiness again, but standing here in Lynx’s arms, I am. I hate that I pushed him so hard and that I left him when he needed me but that will never happen again. His heads thrown back, laughing at something Chip said. I just stand in awe of him, watching him. He smiles at me and says something back to Chip. The whole group is laughing but I’m toning them all out. In a perfect world we would have had this a long time ago. In my perfect idea of life, Lynx and I would have never been apart. He takes a drink of his beer as I watch his throat bob with each swallow. I’m lost in him. The way he moves, that laugh. The slight crinkle around his eyes when he smiles. I’ve missed that, yearned for it, and now I have it back.

  I reach up and run my hand over the side of his head that he keeps shaved down, letting my fingers remember on their own what it felt like to just be with him, touch him, love him. The conversation continues around me. Lynx talks and laughs it reminds me of old times. His hand tightens around my waist, pulling me closer to him. His laughter vibrates his chest, slamming into me. I turn my head slightly just when he turns to look at me. The smile on his face lights up my life. I keep my hand moving over the side of his head, just like I’ve always done.

  Lynx leans in, whispering in my ear, “Just breathe.” I suck in a breath not realizing I was holding it. His warm exhale hits my skin and I gasp.

  “I love you,” I whisper looking into his eyes. The room is blanketed in white noise, nothing but the sound of us. Only us. Lynx reaches up and cups a hand around the side of my neck, pulling my lips closer to his. He can still read my body, knowing just the right moment of when I need his touch and his words.

  “I love you too, Harper. We’re okay, baby. We’re okay.” Pressing his lips to mine, he kisses me gently.

  We’re lost in each other. The touch of him makes everything else fall away. I want him. I’ve never wanted anything in my life the way I want Lynx. It’s always been this way. Someone clearing their throat has us breaking apart. Lynx smirks at me and then looks to Chip.

  “You should tell them the story about the cards,” Chip says. Lynx’s shoulders shake as he laugh
s.

  “That’s not gonna happen ever again in this lifetime.”

  “Why not? That was some funny shit, man.” Chip smiles at him.

  I watch their interaction and a realization dawns on me. I knew they were friends, but I didn’t realize just how close they were until now. I can see the love and respect in his eyes. It’s a mutual feeling. And for everything he’s been through, I’m glad he’s had someone by his side. I wish it had been me, but that’s a different reality. In this one, Lynx has a friend, a true friend who cares. And that makes me heart a little lighter.

  “That was old news. Did you tell Josie how you broke the pipes next door?” Lynx says, bringing his beer to his lips.

  “You did what?” Josie squeals looking over with her mouth open.

  “Fucking traitor. Thought we were boys?” Chip snaps at Lynx. Stan chuckles and shakes his head.

  “I am! I just wasn’t payin’ for that shit,” Lynx adds. The music changes and Josie’s eyes slip to mine. I shake my head. No way, I’m not dancing here. This isn’t even Josie’s bar. We opted on another local joint tonight.

  “You have to!” she says, standing from her seat.

  “Like hell I will!” I snap back. The guys look between us confused.

  “You want to keep your job?” Josie teases. I laugh, throwing my head back. I give up, but really, I don’t mind. I actually am anticipating Lynx’s reaction. This is going to be fun.

  “Fine!” I say with a laugh.

  “What the hell is happenin’?” Lynx asks when I pull out of his arms.

  I turn to him, wiggling my eyebrows. He shakes his head and smirks. I feel like I’m on the high of my life right now. Josie grabs my hand and pulls me out onto the dance floor. As soon as the beat drops, so do we. We sway our hips, swing each other around and dance. Laughter filters out of us as the crowd screams. Some people join in. Some watch, but it’s his eyes I can feel on me. And when I spin around, I see Lynx has moved closer. His arms are crossed over his chest, his heated gaze locked on my body. A chill races down my spine as I watch him. The beat pounds through the speakers and I can feel it all through my body. Josie grabs my hand and spins me, and as soon as my back’s turned, he moves in. His strong hands land on my hips as I keep dancing. Josie laughs, moving back a few steps. Lynx surprises me when his body starts moving with mine. My back is pressed against his front and heat filters between the two of us. This is what I’ve missed the most. Just the feeling of him being here. His hips press into me and I moan. I want more, pushing my ass back for more friction. I’m lost in the feeling of him, of us.

  Our moment is broken the second shots are fired somewhere near the bar. It scares the hell out of me. Screams pierce the whole bar, the laughter turning to cries. Lynx spins me around quickly, shoving me to the ground. My knees sting and my palms burn from catching myself.

  “Where’d it come from?” he roars, looking to Chip.

  “Back!” some other man’s voice screams.

  Lynx looks down at me, his eyes wild before scanning the room. He’s debating leaving me to chase them. This is him. This is who he is. So when his eyes come back to meet mine, I nod. I know that it’s a visceral reaction he can’t deny. He winks and rushes toward the back of the bar. People are scattering everywhere, a few lingering and watching. Josie grabs me and shoves me toward Chip. He wraps his arms around me and leads me toward the door.

  “No! I can’t leave him!” I scream, trying to pull free, but Chip just holds tighter.

  “He’ll meet us out front!” he roars in my ear.

  I finally give up and walk with him when we hear sirens. My insides tumble. That sound. God I remember that sound. The day he was taken to jail. Bile races up my throat and I lean over letting it out.

  “Shit,” Stan mumbles. Josie moves next to me, pulling my hair out of my face as I heave.

  “What the hell happened?” Lynx’s voice comes from around the building. I stand up and run toward him, slamming into his chest. My arms wrap around his neck, holding him as tightly as I can. His arms circle me, his lips moving to my ear.

  “I’m not goin’ anywhere, Harper. I’m right here,” he whispers. I hiccup through the sobs.

  “You see anything?” Chip asks moving to stand next to us.

  I can feel the tension in Lynx. He saw something and it’s not something he wants to share.

  “We’ll talk later,” he says.

  “No, talk now.” Josie’s voice sounds pissed off, and when I pull my head from Lynx’s shoulder I look over at her. Yep, she’s pissed.

  “They were wearin’ cuts.”

  “What does that mean?” Stan asks as the sirens come closer.

  “Fuck!” Lynx roars. His agitation is clear as day.

  “You don’t know that for sure,” Chip tells him. We all look at each other confused.

  “Like fuck we don’t! How many others were wearin’ cuts, Chip?” His anger is palpable. That familiar tone. Those words. He thinks this is club related.

  “Who, though? You said you aren’t in with anyone?” I ask curiously.

  Lynx almost looks shocked when he looks at me. He slowly shakes his head and smirks.

  “You little shit. I forget how much you know,” he says.

  “What does any of this shit mean?” Stan snaps.

  “It means he thinks it was someone after him. Another MC,” I add.

  “What?” Stan asks. Chip laughs and shakes his head.

  “I’ll fill you in later. The question for now is, what the hell do we do?” Chip asks.

  “We get the hell out of here before the cops get here,” I say, grabbing Lynx’s hand and leading him to the bike.

  “Smartest idea I’ve heard today,” Lynx agrees.

  Chapter 17

  Lynx

  I crack my neck from side to side. I’m tense and with good reason. They were wearing cuts. I couldn’t make out the name but I saw the goddamn leather. Those shots were meant for me. I can feel it deep within me. I was the only there wearing a cut. I’m the obvious target.

  “What’s the plan?” Chip asks after I’ve checked the outside of their house a million times. No one’s out there to be seen but they are. I can feel them. Their eyes, the way my heart kicks up a little. It’s that familiar buzz that I used to get when the club was about to handle shit.

  “I’m not sure, Chip. I don’t have beef with anyone. I don’t know what the hell they want,” I admit. That thought alone is bothering me the most. I tip the beer to my lips and take a long pull. I don’t have enemies. I wasn’t out long enough to make new enemies and there weren’t any issues when I left back then. At least as much as I could tell.

  “I got a bad feeling, man.”

  I nod my head because I feel it, too.

  “I think I’m gonna have to head back to Texas, Chip. I’m a Nomad, man. I can’t just reach out and hope for the best anymore. I need people I can trust to look into this. I need the MC.”

  “No!”

  I close my eyes when I hear Harper’s voice. I open them slowly and look over my shoulder at her. She stands there with the clippers in her hands. She was going to fix up my hair for me.

  “Might not have a choice, darlin’. I don’t trust many but Vic can handle this.”

  “I’m not worried about Vic, Lynx!”

  I sigh and take another drink looking at Chip. I can see the look in his eyes and I know he doesn’t want me around my dad either, but what else can I do? Chip knows everything about my life. When we were locked up together, we became close. As close as brothers. He told me about his life and I told him about mine. Especially what a fucker my dad is and why I went Nomad. Although we’re very different, we connected and I trust him with my life.

  “You know my stand on this, but if you go, I go.”

  Shaking my head, I chuckle. “You’re not goin’, man.”

  “Like fuck I’m not,” Chip argues back.

  “You’re not, Chip. You don’t need caught up in this shit,” I
tell him setting my beer on the table in front of me.

  “Fuck off, Lynx. You go, I’m going. You can’t stop me.”

  “He’s right. I’m going too.”

  I laugh this time. I don’t fucking think so.

  “Like hell you will.” I stand up and turn to look at Harper. She smirks and it’s the fucking cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I shake my head slowly, a smile tugging at my lips. I want to give her everything I can in this life, but not this. I refuse to put her at risk again. That would make me lose my head when what I need most right now is to keep my wits about me. But if I’ve learned anything since we reunited it’s that I’m pretty much putty in her hands. I was at her mercy before, and now I don’t stand a chance.

  “You drive me crazy, Harper.”

  “Good. You do the same to me. Now shut up so I can cut your hair and figure out when we’re leaving,” she snaps and moves toward me. I lean down and kiss her gently.

  “This is a bad fuckin’ idea, I can feel it,” I murmur against her lips. She doesn’t say anything else, just pushes me back with a giggle. I sit back in the chair, pulling my cut off and my shirt over my head setting them on the table. She turns the cutters on and begins shaving down the sides of my hair.

  “You really think they’re after you?” Chip asks, and I can only shrug.

  “Hard to say but who else would they be after? None of you have shit to do with MC’s, Chip. Doesn’t make sense for anyone else.”

  The feel of her hands on me is driving me crazy. A shiver rolls down my spine and she notices. She purposely lets her fingers graze my skin. My eyes nearly roll into the back of my head. I know what she’s doing. She’s trying to distract me from the fact that she thinks she’s going. My heart and mind are at a war with that idea. She knows I can’t think straight when she’s near me but she also knows I would lose my mind not having her with me. It’s a sweet torture and for just a minute I let it all crumble under her touch. All the worry, all the doubts, they all just fade into her willing hands.

  “I don’t like this, Lynx. Going back there. You and your dad aren’t the best terms. Not that you really were on good terms with him in the first place,” Chip adds, knowing our history.