“Sure. I’ll ring my dad or watch TV or something.”
“Okay. I won’t be long. I’ll take my phone, call if you need me.”
Chapter Fourteen
Molly watched Jac through the window as she walked up the track toward the visitor’s centre. When she rounded a corner and was out of sight, Molly slumped back into the mattress, missing Jac all ready. She thought being in their married home with Jac would be uncomfortable, expecting a tension to surround them, but that wasn’t the case. Aside from the fact Molly was in a bed in the lounge, having Jac here felt the same as when they were together. If anything, it felt better. Molly hadn’t realised how much light Jac’s presence brought into any room. Having her home again had lifted the depression Molly hadn’t known she had sunk into over the previous years. She wondered, not for the first time, why she was so hesitant to rekindle their relationship. It was clear Jac was still in love with her, and deep-down, Molly loved her too, but there was still so much they needed to talk about. And in all honestly, starting something up again while she was still laid up and getting rid of her business was too much stress to handle right now. Just because Jac had said she was staying in The Midlands, didn’t mean it was true. Jac didn’t have anywhere to live, nor did Molly in a few months’ time. When the land went back to Barry, and Molly’s legs were healed, would Jac even still want to stay? It was too much to think about. For all Molly knew Jac might get fed up of playing nursemaid and would want to escape. No way would Molly express her feelings for Jac, only for Jac to turn around and run in the opposite direction. No, it was better to concentrate on healing and selling her business off. Maybe, after all that was settled, they could see where each other stood, and maybe think about dating again. Dating? That was such a weird thing to call it after they had been together for fifteen years, twenty if you counted the time they were separated. Could you really date someone you had a relationship with for that long? Would it be better to just pick up where they left off?
A pounding headache flared up behind Molly’s eyes, the stress of the day and thinking too much overwhelming her. She glanced at her phone on the end table that had been pushed to the side of her bed. She should really call her dad back whilst Jac wasn’t here. Although Jac had said she didn’t mind Donald had hit her, Molly could see her father’s refusal to stick around made Jac angry. Jac had been so close to her own father and for Molly’s dad not to want to be in Molly’s life was something Jac couldn’t fathom. Molly had made the right decision, though. Blaming Jac for the events five years ago was unwarranted and unfair. It wasn’t right to hold her accountable any longer. Molly just wished she could make her dad believe it. Choosing Jac over Donald had been easier than Molly had expected. Seeing Jac with a small row of stitches on her cheek had broken Molly’s heart, and now Jac was left with a permanent scar, forever reminding Molly of the hurt she had caused her. Hopefully it would fade over time, but the heartache would always be there. Because of Molly’s anger and grief over her brother, Jac had been wounded, physically and emotionally. That it was her own father who given her the scar made it even worse.
Sighing deeply she stretched and picked up the phone, no sense in delaying the inevitable. She dialled his number and waited for him to answer.
“Molly? How are you?”
“If you’d bother to stick around you’d know.” She hadn’t wanted to be that rude, but she just couldn’t get over him leaving the way he did. Donald didn’t answer, and if not for his heavy breathing down the line, Molly would have thought he’d hung up. She took a breath and rubbed her eyes, sighing again. “I’m sorry, that was impolite.”
“No. You’re right. I should have at least said goodbye, but with Jac–”
“I don’t want to talk about Jac. She has nothing to do with you and me.”
“It does if she’s still there.”
Molly thought about lying. Donald was the only family she really had left and she didn’t want to cause a rift between them. However, Jac was hopefully going to be a part of Molly’s life for the foreseeable future, and if her father was going to have a problem with that, it was better to find out now.
“I came home from the hospital today.”
“Really? So soon?”
“Yeah. There’s not much they can do for me there that I can’t do here. I’ll have a physiotherapist coming every day and a nurse will come and see to my wounds.”
“That’s great, honey.”
The enthusiasm in his voice nearly stopped Molly from saying the rest, but she knew that wouldn’t be fair to Jac. “Yeah, it is.” She took a breath, her pulse pounding. “Jac is staying with me while I get better, helping with personal care and around the house.” More silence came through the line. Molly didn’t need to imagine the anger on her father’s face, she had seen it plenty of times whenever they spoke about Jac. “She isn’t leaving, Dad. If that’s a problem for you then we’ll say goodbye now.”
“Molly, you’re thirty-seven, way past older for me to tell you what to do. I will say this, though. I don’t like her or trust her. You’ll get your heart broken again and when you do, don’t come crying to me.”
“Goodbye, Dad.” Molly ended the call, not giving him a chance to say anything more. It was clear he would never forgive Jac. Maybe he was right, maybe she would get her heart broken again, but that was a risk she was willing to take. She would gladly suffer all the heartache in the world for just one more night laying in Jac’s arms. She had thought she would never see her again, but now Jac was back in her life, Molly was determined to see what their future could be.
Her mind drifted to the boxes in her storage shed, to Jac’s belongings, and thought maybe she would tell Jac they were there. If they had any hope of a future together, being honest with her would be the best place to start. She wasn’t sure she would be up to explaining why she had kept everything, not wanting Jac to get her hopes up, but she had a right to know why Molly couldn’t let them go. No matter how difficult it would be for her to explain it, she would, for Jac.
Two hours later Jac wasn’t back from laying out the boards to build the walkway, which normally wouldn’t concern Molly, but she had to pee, and badly. The thought entered her head that maybe she could reach the bedpan herself and try to fit it under her, but she quickly dispelled the notion. It still shot shooting pains up her left leg whenever she wriggled her toes without thinking. She shut the TV off and picked up her phone.
“Hey, Jac,” she said once Jac answered. “I don’t know if you’re nearly finished, but I need the loo.” Heat flushed her skin as she spoke, the embarrassment over Jac having to help her do something as basic as peeing wasn’t going to disappear anytime soon.
“All right. I’m mostly finished anyway. I’ll be there in five.”
Molly hung up the phone and waited. Three minutes later Jac strolled through the door. A fine coating of dust covered her face and arms where she had pulled the sleeves of her sweatshirt up.
“I’ll just quickly wash up.” Molly just smiled and nodded. “Right. Here we go,” Jac said when she re-entered the lounge. Molly kept her gaze averted as Jac lifted the sheet, exposing her lower half. She put her arm around her shoulders as she helped lift her. The agony of her legs took the focus off the embarrassment of being helped to pee as she breathed through the pain. Once the pan was in place Jac settled the sheet back over her and left the room. Molly concentrated on releasing her bladder but it was hard knowing Jac was waiting. Eventually, the deed was done.
“Finished.” Jac re-entered and reversed the steps, Jac pulling out the pan and heading for the bathroom. A few minutes later she was back, placing the pan under the bed. “Thank you.”
“No thanks needed.” Jac sat on the footstool, her face open and unconcerned of the pan full of urine she had just disposed of. “I’ve managed to make a pretty decent pathway to the butterfly garden. I’ll probably only have to move ten or so boards to reach the rest of the way.”
“That’s awesome. It�
��s been so long since I’ve been there. I miss my daily ritual.” A heavy weight settled in her stomach knowing in a couple of weeks Peter from Insects Go Wild would be here to collect most of her stock. Tiffany had managed to get him to buy about seventy percent of the larvae, eggs, and a few of the butterflies. She had put a call out to local schools and an advert online hoping people wanting to start up their own habitat in their gardens or schools might take the other thirty percent. If not, what was left would be released to the wild. “I can’t believe I won’t be able to see them every day. My life’s work is literally flying away.”
“You’ll find something else, you’ll be okay.”
“But it won’t be the same.”
“Nothing ever stays the same, Molly, no matter how much we want it.”
Molly couldn’t help but think Jac was referring to more than Bloomin’ Butterfly. The way Jac’s iris’s darkened to midnight blue clued Molly into the love Jac still felt for her. She could see the heartbreak in them and Molly wished she could have done things differently all those years ago.
“I’m sorry, Jac. We wasted so much time, all because of my grief.”
Jac stood from the stool and approached the bed, smiling gently at her. She ran her hand through her hair then cupped her cheek. “Never apologise for that again. He was your brother. You had every right to be devastated.”
“But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“It doesn’t matter now. I’m home, we’re getting to know each other again.” Jac bent and kissed her forehead, her lips still cool from being out in the early evening chill. “Let’s move on and put it behind us. We have a lot to do to get you better and somewhere to live. Why don’t we concentrate on that?”
Molly’s mind flashed to the boxes in the garage again. Now would be a good time to bring it up, however, she couldn’t find the strength to say anything. Instead, she nodded and smiled, turning her head away from Jac’s penetrating gaze. “I’m pretty tired after everything today. Do you mind if we call it a night?”
“Of course not.” Jac took a step back and glanced away for a moment. “I hope you don’t mind but I put my suitcase in our, I mean your, room. I didn’t want to mess up your office.”
“That’s fine.” Despite her best efforts, a memory of them sharing that same bed flashed through Molly’s mind. She’d give anything to be curled up beside Jac, the last five years forgotten. It would be so easy to give in to her feelings for Jac, but she needed to sort her head out first. Maybe she would talk to Tiffany about it all.
“I’m going to grab a quick shower first. Don’t forget, if you need anything just yell.”
“I need to brush my teeth before you go.”
“No problem.” Once that task was complete and Jac had disposed of the toothpaste Molly spit into a bowl, they said their goodnights. “Don’t forget, just yell.”
“I will. Goodnight, Jac.”
“Goodnight, Molly. Sleep well.” But Jac didn’t move, she just stood by the bed gazing at Molly in the muted shadows cast by the approaching darkness. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Yes.” Molly was certain Jac wanted to kiss her. They had kissed a million times before, so she knew that look well. The hooded eyes, the softening of her features, the slight lick of her lips. Molly’s heart pounded painfully in her ribcage, not sure whether from excitement or fear. She was saved from wondering when Jac leaned in and kissed her cheek quickly before turning on her heel and striding out the room. Molly released a long breath and unclenched the sheet she had gripped when she thought Jac was going to kiss her. It would seem five years of separation hadn’t dimmed Molly’s attraction to Jac. If she let her hand drift under the sheet and between her legs she knew she would find herself wet and wanting. But she didn’t. She closed her eyes and willed her heartbeat to slow, hoping sleep would come quickly and ending her self-imposed torture.
Chapter Fifteen
“Are you sure this is a good idea, Molly,” Jac said the following lunchtime, referring to taking Molly to the butterfly garden. Although it had been her idea, actually wheeling Molly across the wooden boards over bumpy ground now sounded stupid. Anthony, the physiotherapist, had flat out said not to do it, that any shift the cage made could displace the pins holding Molly’s bones in place. He had shown Jac how to use the winch to lift and lower Molly safely into the wheelchair, but when Molly had enthused she now had freedom to move about his face had blanched, stating she wasn’t ready for that kind of movement. But Molly had waved his concerns away, her joy at getting to see her beloved butterflies over-riding her concern for healing properly.
“Jac, stop fussing. It’ll be fine. Just take it slowly and don’t tip me over.”
Jac tried to laugh along with her, but her stomach protested. She feared she throw up. Molly getting hurt was her biggest fear come to life. The thought of causing more damage nearly broke her. She looked away from the long line of wooden boards and to Molly when she felt Molly’s hand take her own.
“Please, Jac. I really want to see them. With you.”
Molly’s smile was Jac’s undoing. She had promised long ago she would do anything to make her happy. If seeing those damn butterflies would keep that smile in place, Jac would make it happen. She took a deep breath then grasped the handles of the wheelchair and pushed. She was going so slow that a snail could have overtaken her in a race. Finally, after forty minutes of pushing, they reach the outer door to the gardens. She turned the chair around and pulled Molly backward through the door and then the hanging clear flaps. The humidity was high and instantly made Jac sweat, the effort of pushing Molly and worrying about her legs making her breathless. She turned Molly around again and settled her into the centre of the large room. Instantly, two butterflies landed on Molly, one on her leg cage and one on her hand. It was as if they missed Molly as much as she had missed them.
“Oh, Jac. Thank you.”
Tears filled Molly’s eyes, but Jac knew they were happy ones. She stood silently next to her as Molly took in the pleasure of being back in the place she loved most.
“I know it took a lot for you to bring me here,” Molly said, her gaze scanning the trees and plants. “I’ll forever be thankful that you did. I’m not sure I’ll be up for doing this again and this will be the last time I see this place.”
Immediately, Jac was on alert. She dropped to her knees, her hand going to Molly’s left thigh above the knee brace. “Are you hurt? Is something wrong?”
“Don’t worry.” Molly reached out and swept Jac’s fringe from her forehead. “It’s just my pelvis hurts if I’m sat up too long. My leg aches as normal but I haven’t damaged it.” She glanced up as a large blue butterfly flew overhead. “It’s too much to keep coming up here. I think I’ll say goodbye now, so it’ll be easier.”
“I’ll give you some privacy.” Jac stood to go outside, wanting Molly to have the time to say a proper goodbye, when Molly’s hand gripped her own.
“Would you stay with me?”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
Jac sat on the concrete next to Molly’s side, still holding her hand. They sat in silence for over half-hour before Molly announced she was ready to go back to the cottage. With one last look around, Jac wheeled Molly out of the enclosure and headed back home. She tried her best to ignore the grunts of pain coming from Molly every time her legs jostled. Once they were back in the lounge, Molly took a pain pill. Jac made quick work of getting the winch in place and lifting her into the bed. She settled the blanket over Molly and sat on the edge of the mattress, stroking Molly’s hair. Molly silently cried the whole time. Jac knew it was the mixture of saying goodbye to the insects she loved and the agony of her legs.
“You’ll be asleep soon. Just try to relax.”
“Jac?” Molly’s voice came out slurred, the effects of the pill taking over. “I do still love you.”
“I know, honey. I know.” And Jac did know. She had known the minute she had pulled int
o the carpark of Bloomin’ Butterfly, Molly’s anger at her arrival not quite overshadowing the relief in seeing her again. But she also knew Molly wasn’t ready for anything to happen between them. Molly became more honest when the pills she was taking made her inhibitions disappear, however, when she was lucid she had said multiple times she didn’t want to go back to what they had before. It was hard for Jac to hear. All she wanted was to be with Molly. Standing here last night Jac had thought it only natural to kiss Molly goodnight. They always kissed before bed. At the last second, she had stopped herself and kissed her cheek instead, knowing a proper kiss wouldn’t be welcomed. It was harder than she thought, being here with Molly in the home they once shared, and it had only been twenty-four hours. She needed to get out of here, to clear her head. To stop her heart running away from her. They were supposed to be friends, and friends didn’t lust after one another.
When she knew Molly was sound asleep Jac went into the bedroom. She grabbed her car keys and went in search of Tiffany, finding her in the gardens.
“Tiff, I need your help,” she said in greeting.”
“How’d it go in the butterfly garden?”
“Fine. Listen. I need you to keep an eye on Molly for a couple of days.”
Tiffany’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Why?”
“I need to get out of here for a bit. I’ll call the home care team from the road. They’ll take care of her personal needs, but I need you to keep her company.”
“Jac, you’re not making sense. Why are you going?”
“It’s too hard being here, with her.”
“You’ve been with her since the hospital. What’s changed?”
Jac shook her head, searching for the words to say that didn’t make her sound like a coward. There weren’t any so she opted for the truth. “I’m in love with her.”
Butterfly Kisses Page 10
