“I feel perfectly fine, but my mother and Katie insist that I should rather stay in bed,” Lady Anna pointed out.
The maidservant nodded and said, “Perhaps the fresh country air was better for you than everyone thinks it was.”
“Indeed,” Lady Anna said, noticing Katie’s perplexed expression.
“Enjoy your dinner, my lady. His Grace sends his regards,” the maidservant said with a polite smile.
“He does?” Lady Anna asked.
“Indeed,” the maidservant said, giving Lady Anna a knowing smile before leaving the bedchambers.
Katie turned to Lady Anna, placed the tray on the bed beside Lady Anna and asked, “What on Earth was she going on about? The duke sends his regards? How preposterous. You have never even met the duke. It is most certainly a generic thing she says to make young women feel...” Katie’s voice trailed as she noticed Lady Anna’s scowl and cleared her throat. “Pardon me, my lady. I did not mean to offend, or generalize.”
“It is quite alright,” Lady Anna said, as she quietly ate her dinner. It was truly delicious, and it satiated her more than anything had ever done.
“Have you had enough, my lady?” Katie asked, as she prepared to remove the tray from the bedside.
“Indeed, thank you, Katie. That was lovely,” Lady Anna said and inhaled slowly. “There is something I wish to tell you, but you cannot mention a word of it to my mother, or my father, or anyone for that matter.”
Katie glanced at her with wide eyes and slowly approached her. “Your secrets are safe with me, my lady. You have my word.”
“I told you earlier that I was to take a stroll towards the lake,” Lady Anna began.
“Indeed. You wished me to lie to your mother and say that you had, in fact, visited the library.”
Lady Anna smiled and lowered her gaze. “While walking along the corridors, I found myself rather lost, and I came across a young man who showed me the way.”
“You met a young man? Was he dashing?” Katie asked, her voice low.
“Indeed, he was. He offered to escort me to the lake, and I accepted. He was such a gentleman. At first I was under the impression that he was a member of the staff, or an agent to the duke, but—”
“Oh my goodness, my lady,” Katie gasped. “Was it the duke?”
“Indeed, it was,” Lady Anna answered.
“The duke offered to escort you to the lake?” Katie gasped once more.
“He did,” Lady Anna answered. “It was rather strange, Katie. He was not what I expected at all. He was kind and funny, and very easy to speak with. He carried himself with such humility and...”
Katie cocked her head and grinned widely. “You have grown fond of the duke?”
Lady Anna’s jaw dropped and shook her head. “No, of course not. He was merely...”
Katie’s brows raised expectantly, but Lady Anna had neither the words nor the courage to utter another word. She was well aware of Katie’s constant but gentle badgering to find a man who would look after her. Although the duke was a wonderful and very handsome man, her heart still longed for the tender and warm embrace of her love. Despite being lost forever, she could not help but feel a tinge of guilt rising up inside her. She had spent a lovely afternoon with the duke, and at times, although it was only a single fleeting moment, she had forgotten about her sadness, her loss. The emptiness inside her did not feel as vast, and she felt a glimmer of hope inside her.
“He simply accompanied me on a stroll to the lake. He most certainly noticed my pale face and thought he was obligated to escort me. He could not possibly allow such a sickly woman to roam around his estate and possibly collapse as death came for her,” Lady Anna pointed out.
“Death is not coming for you, my lady,” Katie protested quietly.
“Katie, you should not give me false hope,” Lady Anna said and stood from the bed.
Katie did not utter a word, nor could she look Lady Anna in the eyes, which was a clear indication that Lady Anna should not be too optimistic in thinking that her illness would be cured. She had accepted that her illness would be her downfall a very long time ago, but seeing Katie’s facial expression of doom only made matters worse.
It was inevitable, and there was not a single thing she, or anyone else could do about it. Lady Anna simply needed to wait until she was finally set free from her sickly body.
4
October 1815
Cragshead Keep
Preston
Lancashire
The duke shifted around anxiously as the dining hall started to fill up with guests, but Lady Anna was still to arrive. After she had missed their stroll to the lake earlier that day, he could not help but feel worried. Was she feeling ill, had the stroll in the cold yesterday taken its toll on her frail body? Or was she perhaps avoiding him for some other reason?
The young women, who walked past him to their seats, greeted him with too much enthusiasm and grandeur—more than the duke was comfortable with—but he simply greeted them politely. As soon as he noticed Lord Sheffield and Lord Munthorpe enter the dining hall, the duke sincerely hoped that Lady Sheffield and Lady Anna would follow.
Much to his delight, they slowly entered the dining hall, and a smile instantly formed on his face, and he approached the two women. Lady Anna looked beautiful in a light blue dress which brought out the color of her eyes.
“Good evening, Lady Sheffield, Lady Anna,” he greeted warmly.
“Your Grace, good evening,” Lady Sheffield said.
The duke glanced at Lady Anna and smiled at her. “It is lovely to see you, my lady. I am delighted to see that you are joining us for dinner.”
“Thank you, Your Grace,” Lady Anna answered, and the duke did not notice anything odd in her eyes. Perhaps he had been wrong in his assumptions that she did not wish to spend time with him, which meant that perhaps she had been feeling more ill than usual. This thought saddened him, as he most certainly did not wish for her to spend all the days here at the Keep in her bedchamber.
“Allow me to escort you to your seat,” the duke offered.
“Thank you, Your Grace. That is very kind of you,” Lady Anna said with a grateful smile.
Throughout the dinner, the duke could not help but constantly gaze in Lady Anna’s direction. Despite her illness, she was even more beautiful than all the young women, and seeing her smile from across the large wooden dining table was a sight he would never tire of. It was a rather strange feeling for him, allowing Lady Anna to have such an impact on him, despite vowing he would never open himself up enough for a woman to be able to do such a thing to him. His heart was cold and frozen, but this young woman with her ice blue gaze and flaxen hair had the ability to melt all the walls he had built around his heart. The worst of all was that she did not even have to try.
The other young women in the dining hall were not at all subtle in their attempts to gain the attention and approval of the duke, and he did not care for it at all. The frustration was eminent on their faces, as they realized that their exaggerated efforts were all in vain. The duke was not certain whether Lady Anna noticed it, but he was well aware that Lady Sheffield did. Every so often, his gaze would meet her, but he simply brushed it off with the nonchalance he had learned from his father.
After dinner, the dining hall cleared out and the guests were escorted to the parlor and drawing rooms. The duke approached Lady Anna and Lady Sheffield.
“My lady,” he addressed Lady Sheffield, “I must thank you for allowing Lady Anna to attend dinner in the dining hall this evening.”
“I am not the one to thank. She wished it all on her own,” Lady Sheffield answered and stepped away. “Allow me to give you two a moment to speak.”
The duke nodded gratefully and glanced at Lady Anna. “How wonderful it is to have you with us, my lady, and upon your insistence I hear.”
“I am a grown woman, I am allowed to make decisions for myself, am I not?” Lady Anna asked.
“Indeed you are
. How are you feeling?” the duke asked.
“No more ill and weak than usual, Your Grace,” Lady Anna said with a sigh.
“That is rather worrying, my lady,” the duke said and clenched his jaw.
“And why is that, Your Grace? You have known me all but one day and you are already worried about myself and my health,” Lady Anna said. “I have enough people worried about that, Your Grace.”
“Am I not allowed to be concerned, or express that concern?” the duke asked and cocked his head.
“Perhaps you can direct your concern towards all the young women who practically fall at your feet every moment of every day,” she answered, but her tone was amusing. “They certainly seemed upset during dinner.”
The duke shrugged and smiled at her. “I did not even notice.”
The duke glanced down at her, her eyes sparkling with intrigue. He would very well notice that Lady Anna wished to say something, but it was neither the place, nor the time for it.
“Thank you for a lovely evening, Your Grace, but it is time for me to retreat to my bedchambers before my dearest mother drags me up the staircase by my hair,” Lady Anna pointed out with a smile.
“She would not do such a thing, would she?” the duke asked in mock horror.
“Clearly you do not know my mother very well,” Lady Anna chuckled. “Good evening, Your Grace.”
“Good evening, my lady,” the duke said with a nod, as he watched as Lady Anna and Lady Sheffield quietly left the dining hall and made their way to the main stairwell.
Lady Sheffield glanced at her daughter as they made their way back to her bedchambers, but did not utter a single word. It had pleased her very much to see the duke was clearly favoring Lady Anna, much to the dismay of the other young women in the dining room, which was even more perfect than she had ever imagined. The duke was not only a man of immense wealth and prestige, but he was sought after by every unmarried woman at the party. The mere thought that he had ignored the other women and focused his attention solely on Lady Anna was a truly wonderful thing.
Lady Sheffield already imagined Lady Anna and the duke announcing their engagement, and a smile formed on her lips.
“I can see the smile on your lips, Mother,” Lady Anna pointed out flatly as they reached the top of the stairs.
Lady Anna felt rather light-headed, as she had ascended the stairwell at a much faster pace than she usually would dare. Her chest felt tight, and she placed her hand on the bannister, easing herself against the cool marble.
“Are you alright, my dear Anna?” Lady Sheffield asked and glanced at her daughter with concern.
“I am only slightly winded, Mother. I only require a moment to catch my breath,” Lady Anna replied, taking numerous deep breaths to ease the fire inside her chest. “Why were you smiling this time, Mother?” Lady Anna asked, feeling slightly better.
“I was merely thinking what a lovely couple you and the duke would make,” Lady Sheffield grinned.
Lady Anna cocked her head, but she was used to her mother interfering with her love life. “Why on Earth would you imagine such a thing? The duke and I barely know one another. Why on Earth would he be interested in someone like me?”
“Have you not seen the manner in which he looked at you this evening? He did not even pay any notice to the other young ladies in the dining hall,” Lady Sheffield answered.
“His Grace was no doubt only feeling sorry for me, Mother. The poor, frail, and sickly young woman in his company. He would be sure to attract even more women with such sympathetic notions,” Lady Anna said, fobbing her mother off. “He has no interest in marrying such an ill woman as myself.”
“That is utter nonsense,” Lady Sheffield muttered. “Clearly you did not see his eyes on you the entire duration of the dinner.”
“Speaking of utter nonsense, Mother—” Lady Anna sighed, desperate to end the conversation, but her mother interrupted her.
“What did he wish to speak to you regarding after I gave you a bit of privacy?” Lady Sheffield inquired.
“Not much, he only wished to know how I was feeling, and thanked me for joining him, as well as all the other guests in the dining room,” Lady Anna answered.
“I wasn't under the impression that His Grace was such a tentative man, but on the other hand, he seems more that way when you are present,” Lady Sheffield beamed.
“As I have mentioned before, Mother, His Grace is a wonderful and gracious host, and that is all there is to it,” Lady Anna, said as she entered her bedchamber. “Now please, leave me be. I am exhausted.”
“Is there anything I can do for you, my dear?” Lady Sheffield asked.
“No, I am perfectly fine,” Lady Anna muttered before turning to her mother with an apologetic expression on her face. “But thank you, Mother.”
Lady Sheffield nodded silently and left the bedchambers, allowing Lady Anna to be alone in her thoughts.
Perhaps it was not a good time for Lady Anna to be alone at that moment, but she saw no other choice. As much as she hoped the duke would find her delightful and that he would wish to spend more time with her, she was very much afraid that the love she still felt in her heart for George Reardon would make her feel guilty for doing so.
The one thing she would never forget was what George had said to her before he embarked on his mission work.
“No matter where I am in the world, my love will always be with you, my dearest Anna,” he had said to her.
Those words had crawled into the depths of her heart, and although she was well aware that he did not imply that he would still love her from beyond the grave, she had hoped he did. Facing her illness without him was not something she had been prepared for, but she had no choice. Lady Anna was grateful that Katie and her mother had been by her side ever since, and she knew that if they had not been there to care for her, both physically and emotionally, she would not be alive.
Although they were not aware that Lady Anna grieved as much as she did, it was vital for Lady Anna to have had those two women in her life at that time to depend on.
It was much later in the evening, and the sounds of the cheerful voices had died down a long while ago, leaving only the soft ambient sounds of the night. Lady Anna could not sleep, as there were too many things on her mind. Her thoughts were filled with guilt and shame, and she could not stop thinking what a terrible person she had been. She was entertaining thoughts of the duke while still mourning the death of her love. She could not imagine what kind of person would move on with their lives at such a rapid pace.
A terrible one, she thought to herself.
As Lady Anna stared up at the ceiling, it felt as though the walls were closing in on her, and she sat up in bed. Her chest was tight, and it felt as though she was being suffocated. It was not due to her illness, but her mind was frantic with thoughts which she could not control. The only manner in which she could regain herself was to either step outside for fresh air, or take a stroll through the dark hallways.
Lady Anna did not possess a fear of the dark, as she had seen and experienced all the horrors of life. She was no longer afraid of death, or anything alive for that matter. She had lived closed to death for so long that she no longer feared it, but it had become a trusted friend, however grim and morbid that may sound.
Lady Anna wrapped a fur blanket around her shoulders and quietly left her bedchambers. The lanterns and candles on the conches provided light to the dark corridors, but it still remained dark around her. The silence was eerie, but as soon as she made her way to the terrace through the great hall, the sounds of the night awakened her senses, and she felt her shoulders relax.
She opened the door which led to the terrace, which had been closed off for the protection of the guests, and she slowly made her way through the tables and chairs which had been arranged for breakfast the following morning. Lady Anna glanced through the window and feared the breakfast had to be moved to the parlors, or even the great hall, as thick dark clouds started to f
orm in the distance. A smile trickled along her lip as she imagined how horrified the young women would be if they were to be drenched by the rain.
Lady Anna sat on a chair which stood directly beside a large window, which overlooked the meadow, as well as the grassy knoll on the hilltop in the distance. The lake was to her right, and the water was as smooth as glass, not a breath of wind, which was strange. All evening she had heard the howling of the wind at her bedchamber’s window, but now it was completely still.
She wrapped the blanket tighter around her shoulders as the chill seemed to travel through the walls. She was not certain how long she had been sitting there, but she was not tired at all. The beautiful view in front of her seemed to ease her tense muscles, as well as her mind, and it was impossible to recall a single moment when she felt as much at ease as she was feeling at that moment.
She heard soft footsteps approaching her, and her shoulders slumped. It would be either her mother, or Katie, who had realized she was not in her bed and had come to drag her back to the confines of her bedchambers.
“I am not going back to bed, regardless of what you may say,” Lady Anna said without even as much as turning her head towards her mother or Katie.
“That is rather presumptuous, but very well,” a deep voice emerged from the shadows.
Lady Anna’s head snapped back, and she stared at the duke with wide eyes. She stood from the chair and the fur blanket fell to the floor. “Your Grace,” she gasped.
“My lady,” the duke said, as he rushed to her side to retrieve the blanket. “I sincerely apologize. I did not mean to startle you. Please, sit.”
Lady Anna sat back on the chair, and the duke knelt before her. He wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and glanced at her.
“There is no need to apologize, Your Grace. It is I who must apologize. I was under the impression that either my mother, or my maidservant Katie was on the verge of dragging me back to my bed,” Lady Anna said. “I did not know that it was you, lurking in the dark.”
Regency Engagements Box Set Page 4
