“Upon discovering Lord Islington, you found us and then you and I returned to the body,” Lady Landerbelt said, with evident calmness. “Can you tell Miss Truwin what happened next, Lord Bastien, just so that she is aware that what I told her was the truth?”
Miss Truwin gasped and turned towards Lady Landerbelt at once. “Lady Landerbelt, I have no doubt that–”
“This is for your benefit regardless,” Lady Landerbelt said firmly, her gaze never lifting from Jasper’s. “Lord Bastien?”
Jasper hesitated, recalling precisely what had occurred but finding himself still unwilling to speak of it. “You and I moved Lord Islington to a further point in the gardens where we did not think he would be discovered,” he said softly, remembering the horror that had filled him as he had pulled Lord Islington’s arms and had felt the weight pulling along the ground. “Then we returned to Miss Truwin.”
“I could not be certain, but I believed that Lord Islington was dead,” Lady Landerbelt replied, looking towards Jasper with a firm gaze. “Whilst the ball continued on, I sought out some footmen and together, we had Lord Islington – or the body of Lord Islington, as I thought it to be – removed to one of the servants’ bedchambers.”
Jasper swallowed hard.
“He is not dead, as you believed him to be.”
Jasper’s heart roared with a sudden, fierce hope, looking into Lady Landerbelt’s face and seeing her nod gently. Blood roared in his ears, his mind screaming with a thousand questions and still Lady Landerbelt nodded.
“He is unconscious still,” Lady Landerbelt continued calmly, as Jasper flung himself from his seat and began to walk about the room, such was his agitation. “And his injuries are severe.”
“What are they?” Jasper rasped, looking back at Lady Landerbelt and becoming aware of how Miss Truwin was watching him keenly. “What did that fellow do?”
Lady Landerbelt hesitated, then spread her hands. “They drove a knife into his side, Lord Bastien. They drove a knife into his side in two places, but the surgeon states that the first wound is only superficial and that the second did not hit his heart. The blood on your hand came from those wounds, for he had bled onto his sleeves and his shirt.”
“I see,” Jasper said slowly, remembering the way his hand had looked as he had lifted it to his face in the gloom.
“But as I have said, he has not recovered consciousness and cannot tell us who it was that treated him in such a manner,” Lady Landerbelt continued. “You may recall that I was a little distracted last evening when you first reappeared in the ballroom.” A small, uneasy smile tugged at her lips. “I had to inform our host as to what had occurred and quietly ensure that a doctor was sent for with the utmost haste. I am glad to say that the ton does not yet know of Lord Islington’s injuries.”
Jasper slammed both hands down on his knees, leaned forward, and sucked in air. He could not quite believe what he had heard, being quite convinced that not only was Lord Islington no longer of this world but that Miss Truwin also believed him to be a murderer. To know now that Lord Islington had not died was an utter relief, for then surely Miss Truwin would be able to trust his word now!
“You are not overcome, I hope?” Miss Truwin’s voice held a little ice, her eyes narrowing just a little. “Or did you hope he had gone?”
“Miss Truwin!” Lady Landerbelt’s voice was sharp as she turned to her friend, but Miss Truwin merely continued to look directly towards Jasper, who shook his head fervently.
“Miss Truwin, you believe that I had something to do with Lord Islington’s injuries then,” he said, remembering how he had told her last evening that she would believe all the more that he was responsible for Lord Islington’s wounds once he told her all. Would he have to explain everything to her now, even though he knew Lord Islington still lived? He groaned inwardly, pushing himself back up to standing. Perhaps he had been foolish to tell Miss Truwin that he had a good deal to explain. Perhaps in doing so, he had made certain that she would struggle to place a single spark of trust in him. Perhaps he would have been better to remain silent.
“You told me last evening that there was much you had to explain, Lord Bastien,” came the reply, as Miss Truwin busied herself with setting out the now filled teacups. “There must be something of difficulty between yourself and Lord Islington, else you would not have said such a thing.”
He nodded slowly, moving back towards them and choosing to sit back down in his chair. “That is quite true,” he admitted, picking up his teacup and saucer and taking a small sip. “But I must reassure you again, Miss Truwin and Lady Landerbelt, that I had nothing to do with what occurred to Lord Islington. I was in the gardens alone and then overheard a conversation.” Frowning, he shook his head. “A dark conversation at that, I confess it. The gentleman walking with Lord Islington was making demands and Lord Islington either refusing or ignoring them.”
“And you do not know who the gentleman was?” Lady Landerbelt asked, as Jasper shook his head. “You did not recognize his voice?”
Jasper hesitated, thinking hard, only to shake his head again. “No, I do not know him,” he answered, honestly. “Would that I did, Lady Landerbelt, for then I might be able to prove to you both, without doubt, that I was not involved in what occurred. Again, he looked at Miss Truwin, but she was steadfastly looking away, her eyes centered on the small tray of honey cakes as though she were deciding which one she should have first. Jasper sighed inwardly, feeling himself rebel against the idea of speaking honestly to her, of telling her everything that had occurred between himself and Lord Islington. But, if they were to marry, if they were to be husband and wife, then he had to be honest.
“Lord Islington and I were once great friends,” he began, seeing how Miss Truwin looked at him in surprise. “That has shocked you, I see.” A wry, sad smile touched his mouth. “I can well understand that, Miss Truwin, for it must have appeared to you that we were nothing more than rivals.”
Miss Truwin nodded, her teacup now back on the table as she folded her hands in her lap. “You appeared to dislike each other intensely,” she said, honestly. “You were fighting with each other, I thought, although I did not know why.” A small blush touched her cheeks, and she looked away.
“You believed we were rivals for your affections,” Jasper said, a little embarrassed. “That is so, Miss Truwin. I cannot pretend otherwise.”
Miss Truwin said nothing but continued to look away, her eyes a little clouded now.
“But you were once friends?” Lady Landerbelt asked, redirecting their conversation. “What was it that threw you apart?”
Jasper sighed heavily, having known that this question was coming. He waited for Lady Cecily to come to his mind, to see her beautiful face float in front of his eyes once more – but she did not come. No memories assailed him, no great torments flung themselves at his mind. Instead, all he could see was Miss Truwin’s face as she regarded him carefully.
It must be the shock, he told himself, refusing to consider any other possibility. It must be the shock of what I have just learned about Lord Islington that does not bring her to mind.
“Lord Bastien?” Lady Landerbelt queried softly. “What was it?”
He looked at her, feeling the tension begin to drive through him forcefully. “Lord Islington and I were very good friends. When I found a young lady whom my heart desired, then I told him of it.” Shaking his head, he pressed one hand to his forehead, the memories paining him. “He encouraged me to pursue her, and so I did.” Another sigh emitted from his mouth. “My intention was to court her and, soon after, propose to her.”
“And why did you not?” Miss Truwin asked, sitting forward in her chair, the icy look gone from her eyes. “What occurred to prevent you from doing so?”
Now it came to it. Now he had to find a way to tell her the truth, to explain to her why he had found Lord Islington so odious. The words stuck to his lips, but he forced them out, refusing to allow them to linger on his tongue.
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“I discovered that Lady Cecily – for that was her name – was being pursued by another,” he said slowly, no longer able to look at either Lady Landerbelt or Miss Truwin. “I discovered that she had affections for another gentleman. One Lord Islington.”
The combined gasp of shock from them both did little to calm his nerves.
“He married her,” he continued, his words turning harsh. “And I despised Lord Islington. When his year of mourning was at an end, I came to London to ensure that I prevented him from ever finding such happiness again, in the same way that he had caused me to lose the only taste of happiness I had ever had the chance to enjoy. That was why there appeared to be a rivalry between myself and Lord Islington, Miss Truwin. I wanted to disrupt whatever it was he intended for you both.”
“I see.” Miss Truwin’s voice was small, her eyes downcast as he looked at her. Her face had gone quite ashen, her shoulders slumping down.
Shame covered him like cloak.
“You spoke of Lord Islington’s year of mourning,” Lady Landerbelt said gently, reaching across to press Miss Truwin’s hand. “Do you mean to say that this Lady Cecily died?”
Not able to look at Miss Truwin any longer due to the sheer weight of guilt on his shoulders, Jasper only nodded.
“And thereafter, you have clung to your desire for revenge without ceasing,” Lady Landerbelt finished, speaking as though she understood everything. “You sought to prevent his attentions from gaining any ground in Miss Truwin’s heart.”
“He did not care for Lady Cecily!” Jasper exclaimed, finding himself snarling with the sheer weight of shame that bore down on him. “He cared nothing for her. The dowry that she took with her – that was another matter! Lord Islington only wanted her money. His debts were accumulating, and he cared nothing for throwing yet more money away, thinking that he would either be lucky at cards or find a nice rich wife to marry.” Gesturing towards Miss Truwin, he shrugged his shoulders. “I believed the same about you, Miss Truwin.”
Again, there came a silence so filled with tension and awkwardness that Jasper did not know where to look. Miss Truwin was taking in short, ragged breaths, and Lady Landerbelt did not say a single word. Lowering his head to his hands, he closed his eyes tightly and rested his elbows on his knees.
“I did not seek to kill Lord Islington, however,” he said hoarsely, not lifting his head. “I did not go near him, I did not take a knife to his side. There was some other in the gardens with him when I was present.”
“Something we can either choose to accept as the truth or remain uncertain about,” Lady Landerbelt said, cautiously. “As you have already shown us, Lord Bastien, you had reason to wish harm for Lord Islington.”
“But I would never have sought to kill him!” Jasper exclaimed, throwing his hands up and rising to his feet. “No matter what he had done to me, I would never seek to harm him in such a way.” Swallowing hard and seeing how Miss Truwin stared up at him in apparent fright, he shook his head to himself. “Lord Islington was once my friend,” he said slowly, sinking back down into his chair. “And it is because of that knowledge that I would never have even thought of taking a knife to his side in an attempt to end his life. He might have treated me very ill, Lady Landerbelt, but I do not consider myself judge over whether his life should be forfeit as punishment.”
Lady Landerbelt considered this, looking him straight in the eye as he spoke. There was an expression on her face that he could not quite make out – one that perhaps suggested she wanted to believe him entirely but could not quite bring herself to do so.
“Might I ask, Lord Bastien, what it was you intended to do to me?”
Swinging his gaze around to Miss Truwin, he spread out his hands. “What do you mean, Miss Truwin?”
“I mean,” she replied instantly, “whether or not your intentions for me had any true desires behind them.”
Pressing his lips together, Jasper let his gaze settle on Miss Truwin’s face. She was slightly grey, almost ashen, and her beautiful blue eyes rounded with both fright and fear. What was he to say? That he had not considered her at all? That his intentions had been simply to drop her from his attentions and move to whatever young lady Lord Islington had begun to pursue next? It was cruelty itself, and he was utterly ashamed of how little he had cared.
“My sole intention was to ensure that Lord Islington did not ever grasp your full attentions, Miss Truwin,” he said slowly, choosing every word with great care. “I did not want him to come near to you and so ensured that I placed myself by your side whenever I could.”
“And what were you to do were you successful?” she asked, her lips trembling as she spoke. “What then?”
“I could not say, Miss Truwin,” he answered, trying to be as honest as he could without paining her further. “My anger burned so hot against Lord Islington that I do not think that I was thinking wisely or even clearly.”
Miss Truwin blinked rapidly, her eyes pooling with tears, and Jasper felt his heart twist violently at the sight.
“But we are engaged now, are we not?” he said, hopelessly, realizing that this would be no comfort to her whatsoever. “Your future is settled.”
Closing her eyes tightly, Miss Truwin shook her head as a single tear escaped to run down her cheek. “I have been caught in the middle of your attack against Lord Islington and now find myself engaged to a gentleman who does not truly care for me in the way I believed him to care,” she answered, as Lady Landerbelt pressed a handkerchief into her hand. “A gentleman whom I have spent too long pining over, who has long been within my heart.” Opening her eyes, she continued to dab away the tears, speaking a truth that was painful for him to hear. “I have never been able to push you from my mind since last Season, Lord Bastien. Confused by your behavior this Season, Lady Landerbelt advised me to wait and see how both yourself and Lord Islington behaved, in the hope that intentions would become clear.” She spread her hands, her face a mask of agony. “Well, at least your intentions have been shown for what they are. And I am left looking like a fool.”
“You are not a fool, Miss Truwin!” he protested, as she wiped her eyes furiously. “It is I who is at fault, I who am in the wrong. I should never have treated you in such a disparaging and careless way. I do not deserve your considerations; I do not deserve your affections.” Stunned to hear that she had long considered him, that he had been at the forefront of her thoughts, Jasper swallowed the lump of pain that had grown in his throat, feeling himself all the more unworthy. “I am the fool, Miss Truwin. The fool who has made himself so by his own actions. We are engaged, yes, but I will ensure that it is I who takes the blame should you wish to cry off.”
“Cry off?” Her head shot up as she looked at him in astonishment.
“I understand completely if you do not wish to marry me,” he said, trying to explain. “Now that you know everything, I can well understand that you are greatly distressed and will, most likely, wish to disassociate yourself from me.”
Lady Landerbelt held up one hand, clearly wishing to interject. “Might I advise, Lord Bastien, that such decisions are left to when emotions are not as overwrought as they are at present?” she suggested cautiously. “There has been a good deal revealed to Miss Truwin, and she must consider things–”
“I will still marry you, Lord Bastien.”
He blinked, feeling as though he had been punched hard in the stomach. Miss Truwin had risen to her feet, her face pale but her expression one of calm. Gone were the tears, gone was the trembling from her lips. Instead, she appeared quietly decisive and fully determined.
“I will marry you, Lord Bastien – not because I feel obliged or because it is necessary, but simply because I cannot face the difficulties that will come thereafter. My mother will be beside herself with grief, and even if you were to take the blame, there would still be consequences for my reputation and my family’s good name. Therefore, I must refuse your offer to cry off.”
Jasper rose, feeling
a little unsteady.
“I am now fully aware that you have no regard for me,” Miss Truwin continued, her chin lifting. “As you are aware that I have long held you in my affections. I would ask, therefore, that you treat me with the respect and understanding that such a position places me in.”
“Of course, of course,” he stammered, still finding some difficulty in accepting what she was saying. “I will, of course, do as you ask.”
“And if it becomes clear that you did have a hand in Lord Islington’s injuries, then you know very well what will occur,” Miss Truwin finished, her hands clasped in front of her. “I will make it known, and you shall have to leave London for good.”
A sudden resolve swept through him, straightening his back and forcing his head up. “I will prove to you that I have not had any hand in this, Miss Truwin,” he promised, keeping her gaze. “I will do whatever I can to find the truth and bring the perpetrator to justice. Then, you will have no need to doubt me.”
Miss Truwin nodded quickly, looking away.
“And you are quite wrong to think that I have no regard for you, Miss Truwin,” he continued, moving a little closer to her and seeing how her eyes flickered. “I have found myself thinking of you often these last few weeks.” He grimaced, his jaw set. “I have struggled against the feelings that have risen within me, for they have pushed aside all thought of Lady Cecily at times, and I have become angry and berated myself for such emotions.”
Miss Truwin blinked rapidly but said nothing, whilst Lady Landerbelt rose to stand beside her, her skirts swishing gently.
“There is a respect and an admiration for you, Miss Truwin, that I cannot hide,” he continued, speaking honestly to her and making himself entirely vulnerable in the process. “Mayhap if I am able to set aside the past, forgetting about Lord Islington’s indiscretions and instead looking to the future, I might discover more within my heart than I ever thought possible.”
“And is that something you are willing to do?” Miss Truwin asked, her eyes clear but her voice very quiet indeed. “Are you willing to turn away from all that has been and turn towards your future? Can you forgive Lord Islington, even in the midst of your grief?”
Regency Engagements Box Set Page 43
