by Aria Grace
I rest my forehead on my palm and rub my temple with my thumb. “What if I move here and get a two-bedroom apartment? You can each have a room, and I’ll crash on the couch when I’m in town. I average like three-to-four nights home per month, so you guys can have your space.”
“Really?” Andy is more surprised than he should be.
Did he really think I was just going to walk away and leave him to sleep in his car every night? “Yeah, really. What do you say?”
He finally relaxes and grins broadly. “That’s amazing. I need to talk to Freddie, but I think he’ll be okay with it.”
“Good.” I pick up my burger to take another bite, relieved that negotiation didn’t take longer or end differently. “I’ll start looking at places tomorrow.”
20
Freddie
He’s so tiny. I’ve been around a lot of babies, but I’ve never really held them in my arms or thought a whole lot about their well-being. But the instinct to keep my baby safe and healthy and happy is almost overwhelming. Little Colby Andrew Hartwick will be loved no matter what his status is. And I have a newly strengthened conviction to do everything in my power to provide a good life for him.
I’ll get my GED. I’ll take online classes. I’ll work my way up from the lowest job I can find in order to secure a future in which he has every opportunity to pursue his dreams. He may not have been conceived through love, but that doesn’t matter. I have enough love in my heart right now to make up for his missing parent.
I could stare at him forever. But as he lays sleeping, I realize how quiet it is. The silence of the hospital room is a stark contrast to the beeping, screaming, and laughing that has filled this room since I arrived this morning. I almost wish my guests had stayed longer. It was really cool to see Jase and Max, but they didn’t want to stay too long. Something about bonding time with Colby.
But I’m really wired and hope Andy and Ethan come back soon. Andy and I had a long talk before my labor got to the point of my being unable to talk, and he is open to a relationship with his brother. I was really happy to hear that because he should have some family in his life. Especially someone who cares about him so much.
As if thinking of them summoned their presence, Andy peeks around the door. “Are you up for company or should we come back later?”
“Please come in. I’m already getting antsy in this bed.” His attention is honed in on the baby resting against my shoulder. “He just ate, so he might sleep for a little while, but you can hold him if you want.”
“Really?” Andy’s eyes light up at the offer. He takes a tentative step forward so he’s within arm’s reach. “Are you sure?”
“Of course.” I shift the little burrito in my arms so I can present him to his namesake. “Andy, please officially meet Colby Andrew Hartwick.”
Andy’s eyes lock on mine and fill with moisture. “Andrew?”
I smile and give a shrug. “It’s a good name.”
He nods once then reaches for Colby and tucks him into the crook of his elbow. “He looks so happy,” he says wistfully.
“He’s warm, dry, and has a full belly. I don’t think life gets much better for a baby.”
I glance at Ethan with a questioning eye. “So, you two are okay?”
He grins. “Yeah, we’re good. And there’s something we want to talk to you about.”
Andy shoots him a look that I can’t quite read before he slides onto the edge of the bed and takes a deep breath. “Yeah, well, Ethan is going to be moving to town, and he asked if we wanted to live with him. He travels a lot for work, so he isn’t home very often. It’ll be just the three of us most of the time. And we’ll be close enough to Omega House that you can still use their day care and work there if that job with Naheed pans out. What do you think?”
I feel like a hooked fish with my mouth wide open. “Seriously? You want me and Colby to live with you?” I’m looking right at Ethan, only slightly suspicious of his motives. He seems like a great guy, but I don’t know why he would include me and my newborn so intimately in his life.
“Andy really wants to be around to help you, and I really want him to be close to me. I want to know where he’s at, so I can help him finish school and get in to college.” Ethan looks so sincere that I can’t imagine a sinister thought ever crossing his mind. “So, if you’re a package deal, then I definitely want you guys there too.”
“Will you come, Freddie?” Andy pleads as if I might actually say no. Does he think I’m an idiot?
“Of course we’ll come and live in a nice apartment with my best friend and his hot, alpha brother. I ain’t no dummy.”
When Andy’s grin turns mischievous and his eyes grow wide, I realize what I’ve just said. Shit. With a dismissive wave, I attempt to diffuse the awkwardness in the room. “You know what I mean. I think the epidural might have traveled a little too far north and my brain is still addled, but hell yeah, I’d love to move in with you guys.”
“Awesome.” Andy bounces little Colby in his arms. “You hear that, Colby? We’re going to be housemates. That means I can play with you every day.”
The joy in my heart expands tenfold as I watch my newly declared best friend interact with my baby. I had no idea he would be this excited about the prospect of helping me with Colby, but I’m immensely grateful for it. My eyes instinctively drift to Ethan. He’s watching me, and when our eyes lock, I try to express my gratitude for all that he’s doing for us with just a simple glance. I don’t know if he’s getting my message, but Ethan’s hazel eyes seem to darken under my stare. And when his tongue slides across his lower lip to moisten it, a chill runs through me that I can’t quite explain.
* * *
Getting into a routine with Colby hasn’t been easy. Even though Andy is changing at least half the diapers and wearing as deep of a circle into the game room carpet as I am, we are both totally exhausted and sleep deprived. Ethan found an apartment two blocks from Omega House, but we can’t move in until this weekend. And the next few days can’t pass fast enough.
Other than the shower gifts of clothes, toys, and a stroller I received from the staff at Omega House, I don’t really have any possessions. Whenever they say it’s time to go, Colby and I will be ready. And although I was hesitant at first to leave Omega House, having to deal with twenty-five other people making noise and waking up Colby as soon as he falls asleep is getting old real fast. The facility is amazing, and I’ll always be grateful for all they’ve done for me, but we need our own space.
Andy is sliding his phone into his pocket as he enters the room. “I just talked to Ethan. He wants to know if you need any special furniture for your room. He asked if you want a rocking chair or a recliner.”
I shake my head with an incredulous smile. “That man is gonna go broke buying us crap. An air mattress on the floor is fine. He doesn’t have to get anything fancy.”
Andy raises an eyebrow. “So that’s a no on the rocking chair?”
I shake my head. “Yes, it’s a no on the rocking chair. The bouncy seat Marge gave me should be fine for a few months. Hopefully, by the time he outgrows it, I’ll be able to buy whatever else we might need. Right now, Colby needs a pair of arms and a flat place to sleep. That pretty much sums up his furniture needs.”
“Cool.” Andy drops into a chair across from me. “So, I’ve been meaning to ask…”
I wait several beats for Andy to finish whatever he was going to say. When he doesn’t, I groan out loud, having an idea of where he’s going with this. “What?”
His innocent smile is not very innocent. “I was just wondering what you think of my brother.”
Here we go. I knew this was coming, but I figured he’d wait a bit longer before bringing up the elephant in the room. That elephant being my natural tendency to be friendly, which has morphed into light flirting with Ethan. It’s all in fun, and neither of us are taking it seriously, but I can tell Andy wants to see something that isn’t there. Something that will never be t
here.
“I think your brother’s great.” I remain as expressionless as possible. At least, I try to. “He’s obviously a good guy who cares about you, and by extension, he cares about us. So yeah, I like him.”
Andy’s grin gets wider. “Do you like him like him?”
“Oh lord, you sound like a twelve-year-old girl, you know that?”
“Don’t dodge the question, Freddie. Inquiring minds…” Adam swats at my foot with his. “Just tell me.”
I roll my eyes and feel my cheeks warming up. “I don’t know what you want me to say. Obviously, he’s hot and kind and… The perfect alpha. I think any rational human would like him, like him. But that doesn’t mean you should get all excited for something to happen. I don’t know if you’ve already forgotten what this little bundle of joy in my arms represents…” I give Colby a kiss on the top of his head, breathing in his sweet baby scent. “But I’m damaged goods. Alphas want virgin omegas, or at least, practically virgin omegas.”
“That’s ridicul—” Andy tries to cut me off, but I don’t let him.
“There is no decent alpha in the world who would want an ex-whore as his mate. So, please, let me have my little fantasy in peace, but don’t get your hopes up that it’ll ever be more than a daydream in my mind. Capiche?”
* * *
“And this is the baby monitor.” Ethan has been pointing out all the stuff he’s acquired for me and Colby for twenty minutes. He must own stock in Babies R Us. He draws my attention to a camera pointed directly above the crib. “You can set a password and give it to anyone you want to be able to watch Colby in his crib. They can just log in on their phone.”
And watch me while I sleep just a few feet away? Uh, no thanks.
“There’s also a little TV monitor set up in the living room that you can turn on to watch him when you’re out there.”
I have to admit, I’m a little overwhelmed by all the gadgets. I really had no clue raising a baby required so much tech. Ethan put a colorful mobile over the changing table that plays classical music, a projector displays different astronomical constellations on the ceiling at night, and there is even some kind of breathing and movement monitor we attach to Colby’s clothes when he’s sleeping that will sound an alarm on my phone if he stops breathing or rolls onto his stomach.
It feels like overkill if you ask me, but Ethan is practically giddy while showing off his purchases, so I just smile politely and accept the tech and gifts that must have cost a fortune and are probably completely unnecessary for raising a healthy child. “That’s amazing, Ethan. I don’t even know how to thank you. You’ve done so much for us, and I promise to repay you for everything.”
Ethan places his hand on my shoulder and gives me a squeeze. “Don’t worry about it, Freddie. It’s actually been kinda fun to shop for this stuff. I almost bought a sensor that measures the mineral contents and volume in a diaper.”
I cringe at the description, not sure if he’s joking or not.
Ethan laughs out loud at my horrified expression. “Yeah, I thought the same thing and decided to pass on that.”
“Thank you. Changing diapers is bad enough. I don’t need a reminder of each and every one for posterity.”
Ethan releases my arm then takes a step back. “Well, I guess I’ll let you guys get settled in.”
“Thanks again, Ethan.” He turns and locks his eyes on mine for several seconds before he gives me the smile that makes my insides quiver. The look that I don’t understand but my body likes to interpret as “Come ride my knot, Freddie.”
Without breaking eye contact, he steps backward toward the door. “If there’s anything you need, just let me know. And I was thinking of making chicken and pasta for dinner tonight. Is that okay?”
“That sounds delicious. Thank you.” My mouth is already watering at the promise of a home-cooked meal. “And if you need help with cooking, ask Andy. I have no idea how to do anything in the kitchen.”
Ethan finally breaks away, laughing as he goes. “Will do.”
21
Ethan
I know it’s crazy, but I already miss Andy. Okay, fine. I miss Freddie and even little Colby just as much. I only had a few days at the apartment with them before I was called in to cover a tour for a colleague who came down with a severe case of food poisoning.
The tour is in New York City, which is one of my favorite places, but I’m just not having any fun this time around. Usually when I’m traveling for work, I spend my days shuttling groups to monuments and landmarks from eight in the morning until eight at night. Then, after an hour or two of rest, I’m out at a club, looking for a quick hookup.
It’s not a bad way to earn a living considering I don’t have to pay any expenses while I’m working, and I usually get a couple thousand in tips at the end of each ten- to fifteen-day tour. In fact, just a few weeks ago, I would have said it was a dream job that I never wanted to quit.
But something has changed.
I’ve been in the city for four days now, and I haven’t had the urge to go clubbing once. I don’t know why I’m so distracted by thoughts of what’s happening back home, but I just can’t stop thinking about the omega my brother has taken on as his personal project.
Growing up, most of my friends were jocks, and almost all of them tested out as alpha or beta in adulthood. Other than my brother, I haven’t really spent much one-on-one time with omegas outside of one-night stands or backroom fucks. But in the short time I’ve spent with Freddie, all my views on omegas and omega rights have shifted.
The differences between us seem so much less defined, and I’m in awe of their unique ability to carry babies. Part of me wants to become an advocate for omega rights to make sure people like Freddie and Andy never have to go through what they did when they were turned out by their families.
It’s still hard for me to imagine what Freddie went through over the past five years. When he first told me about his parents selling him to the breeding farm because they didn’t want an omega mouth to feed, it pissed me the fuck off. I didn’t understand how any parent could do that to their child. Then again, I didn’t understand my own parents and their views on raising an omega. I always thought they were great parents who would do anything for us. But that changed when their own selfish interests got in the way.
Either way, I can’t focus on anything or anyone besides Freddie. The only time my dick gets hard is when I think about him laughing at something we said or smiling over his beautiful son…or looking at me. Thank god I’m not home very often because if I had to deal with his sexy smile or sexual innuendo on a daily basis, it’d kill me. I just don’t think I could handle his flirtatious comments or sexy winks without bending him over a table and claiming him as my own.
And there it goes again.
My third spontaneous boner of the evening has arrived, and they’re getting more and more difficult to ignore. Since I need to take a shower anyway, I might as well take care of this need before it keeps me up all night. Standing up, I pull the hem of my shirt over my chest and toss it onto my closed suitcase. Then I drop my jeans and step into the bathroom, already stroking my hard cock. Thank god I didn’t bother with underwear this morning or else it would have been wet all day. With the tap running to heat up the water, I bring up a picture of Freddie on my phone. I took it right before I left and have stared at it for hours on end.
In the picture, Freddie is doing a silent happy dance because he was able to change Colby’s diaper after a feeding without waking him up. Those whiskey-colored eyes are twinkling in the flash…and the live photo caught him just as he was thrusting his hips from left to right.
So fucking sexy.
It’s easy to picture Freddie in a dark nightclub, pulsing to the beat and rocking his ass against my cock while we’re surrounded by strangers. I wonder if Andy would be willing to babysit one night so we could go out dancing? I push that thought aside and focus on the photo for a few more seconds before putting my phone down an
d stepping under the spray of water.
The heat feels good on my already flushed skin, but my senses are primarily focused on my throbbing cock as I stroke it from head to base. Using just a little more pressure than I normally do when getting myself off, I close my eyes and imagine sliding inside Freddie’s tight hole. I know he’ll probably never think of me as anything more than Andy’s brother, but my cock is very happy to grow and explode when I think of having something more substantial with Freddie.
Something serious and real.
Something permanent.
My balls draw up tight as I stroke faster, distorting the images of Freddie I have in my mind until they’re of him sucking my dick, licking and nipping the tip as I shoot my seed all over his face and mouth. My knot expands to its full width as my orgasm finally bursts free. I feel good and there is a measure of relief within my body, but I’m not sated. I haven’t been sated in months. It’s almost impossible for an alpha to be fully sated after sex unless his knot is locked inside a tight channel, holding his seed inside the person he cares about.
At least, that’s how they explained it in school. I think the truth is probably less sentimental and more scientific than that. I just know that when my knot is loose and has nothing to lock with, I feel like I’ve only had half an orgasm. Like the first part was achieved, but the second part is missing.
The part where I hold my partner and tell him how much I enjoyed our time together.
The part where I kiss his neck and graze the skin with my teeth, teasing him to arousal once again.
And the part where I imagine not having any kind of barrier between us so my seed can find purchase within the body I’m holding…and make a new life.
Okay, that last part has only recently been added to the fantasy. Approximately two weeks ago. Since meeting Freddie and watching him with Colby, something in me has changed. Spending another ten years traveling around the world before settling down and starting a family of my own no longer sounds like a practical life plan. In fact, it sounds miserable and lonely.
