by Aria Grace
Now, I want a mate and a family and a picket fence.
I didn’t realize alphas had biological clocks, but mine has gone haywire and is spinning out of control. And when I think of how to fix it, only one face comes to mind. It has brown hair, brown eyes, and the cutest chin dimple I’ve ever seen in my life.
I still have eight days left on this trip, and then I’m scheduled for a seven-day tour in London and Ireland with a group of teenagers. It’s going to be a long couple weeks if I don’t find a way to scratch this itch before I get home.
* * *
It’s totally natural, and there is nothing sexual about a parent nursing a baby. I know this is true and wholeheartedly believe it. Omegas are designed to carry and nourish their young until the child is old enough to eat solid foods. That’s just the way life is. But every time I see Freddie holding Colby to his chest and feeding him, I can’t look away. I know it’s not polite to stare, but something about it just fascinates me.
And turns me on.
He’d probably be freaked out if he caught me staring, but I just want to know what it feels like. How he tastes. What it would be like to suck one of his elongated nipples into my mouth and feast on the milky nourishment his body has created. Of course, that always leads to images of me moving south and taking a different elongated body part into my mouth and sucking it until it produces the creamy nutrients it has to offer.
Fuck, I need to blow my knot.
“Are you even listening to me?”
I force my eyes away from Freddie in the background and focus on my stupid brother. We’re gonna have to stop Skypeing during feedings because this is just weird. “Sorry, what? My connection blinked out for a second.”
“Oh, I was just saying that another Amazon box was delivered for you. Do you want me to open it or just leave it for you?”
I think about what I last ordered and shake my head. “No, don’t open it. Just stack anything that comes in by the hall closet, and I’ll deal with them when I get home.”
And there goes that boner.
In a moment of stupidity, I ordered an omega fleshlight that expands to hold a knot. I’ve heard about them but never tried one. I just wish I had been smart enough to have it delivered to my hotel instead of my apartment because it would really come in handy over the next few weeks. And for the foreseeable future beyond that.
22
Freddie
“To passing the GED exam!” I hold up a glass of sparkling wine that Ethan left in the fridge and toast Andy on his accomplishment.
“It’s not a big deal.” He laughs as he clinks his glass against mine. “But I’m glad it’s over with.”
We each take a sip of the sweet wine and settle back on the couch. Out of habit, I glance at the baby monitor on the counter that separates the kitchen from the living room. Colby is sound asleep, and we can hear the very soft intake of each breath he takes. It’s a sound I’ve gotten so accustomed to over this past month, that when I don’t hear it, I practically panic.
I turn my attention back to Andy and give him his moment. “So, what’s next? Did you talk to Naheed’s brother-in-law about a job?”
Andy twirls the skinny glass between his fingers as he nods. “Yep. I start working at Café Om on Monday. It’s the one to nine thirty shift, so I won’t be around for dinner most nights, but he said the tips are usually decent in the evening, so I’m happy about that.”
“That’s great!” I lean forward, balancing on my crossed knees to give him a quick hug. “I’m proud of you.”
Andy takes another sip then looks back at me and sighs. “I’m glad it’s the late shift so I don’t have to wake up at five in the morning for work.”
I cringe at that thought. I’m definitely not a morning person. Of course, I’m usually awake at four or five on most days, but I’ve come to appreciate sleep in a way I never did before. Colby sleeps a lot but in short bursts. I can only get a shower in or one chore done before he’s awake again and needing to be fed, changed, and prepped for his next nap. That’s why I’m often sleeping at random times throughout the day just to keep up with him.
“What about you? Didn’t you say Naheed called the other day?”
“Actually, I was going to tell you I talked to him this morning. Sean’s classes are kicking his ass, and he needs more time to study. As soon as the doctor says I’m good, which I’m hoping will be at my appointment next week, I’ll have a paid job waiting for me at Omega House.”
“Will they be able to watch Colby?” Andy sets his glass on the table and puts on his serious face. The one he wears way too often, especially when Colby is the topic. He’s such a little worrywart. “Because he can stay with me in the morning, and I can drop him off at Omega House on my way to work.”
He’s really too good to us. “Don’t be silly. We’ll be fine. I really appreciate all the sacrifices you’ve made for us more than you could possibly know. I don’t think I would’ve survived the last few weeks without you at my side… And your brother.” I pause for just a beat to appreciate the flash of Ethan’s image across my brain. He’s been traveling for the past month but is due home next week for four nights. I’m more than a little anxious to refresh the images in my mind with the real thing. “Colby and I are doing great, and you are too. I want you to focus on yourself for now, and don’t you worry about us. Now we focus on getting you ready for college in the fall.”
Ethan and Andy Skype every night, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t strategically place myself behind Andy in such a way that I can catch glimpses of Ethan while they talk. He’s so handsome and when he’s helping Andy strategize on college applications and financial aid options, he’s just so sincere and sexy. He truly cares about others and will do anything to help his brother succeed in life.
Colby sneezes, and Andy and I both turn to face the monitor. When my beautiful son just twitches his nose and lets out a heavy sigh, we both smile and turn back to each other.
“He’s such a good baby.” I’m so lucky he’s not colicky. He likes to be in arms more often than the baby books recommend, but he’s just so cuddly that it’s hard to ever put him down. “I hope he behaves when Ethan’s home. I’ll feel terrible if we keep him up all night on the few days he’s home. It’s bad enough he doesn’t get his own room to sleep in.”
“If it’s an issue, Ethan can sleep in my room when he’s home. I’ll take the couch. I pass out here half the time anyway.” Andy shrugs off my concerns, and a slow grin creeps across his face. “Besides, I think he’ll be fine out here.”
I raise a suspicious eyebrow. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing.” Andy just smiles and reaches for his glass again, shifting his weight so he’s facing the TV. “Let’s see if there’s anything good on.”
* * *
“Thanks, Dr. Michaels. I really appreciate the tips.” Dr. Michaels has been wonderful these past few weeks. She is always available when I call with questions and had some great suggestions for getting Colby to sleep for longer than two or three hours at a time. She also gave me the go-ahead to resume all normal physical activity. Her list included exercise, working, and sex. Of those things, the only one I expect to be a realistic option in my foreseeable future is working.
So, Colby and I will officially start working at Omega House in two weeks. Well, I’ll be working and he’ll be in the infant day care room, but having him close by will make it much easier to focus throughout the day. If I had to drop him off with strangers, I’d be a worried mess. He’s only six weeks old right now, and the transition is going to be tough as it is. The only thing easing my mind is knowing there’s a video baby monitor set up in the infant room, so I can check on him throughout the day. It might be a little distracting at first, but I think it’ll help me function in the long run.
Andy drops us off at home before heading to the coffee shop he’s been working at for the last few days. He said it’s a little overwhelming when the line gets long and people get imp
atient for their drinks, but I can tell he loves it. Having a purpose and contributing to the household is important to him. This opportunity is a great way for him to earn some money for college and help out with some expenses around the house.
That’s the biggest reason I’m going back to work so soon. Both Andy and Ethan told me a hundred times that I can wait a few more months, but I hate feeling like a leech. I need to get used to supporting myself and Colby, so as much as I’ve appreciated this six-week break from reality, it’s time to start earning my keep.
Colby doesn’t wake up when I move him from the car carrier to his crib, so I take advantage of the time and hop into a hot shower. He’s wearing his monitor, and the bathroom door is open so if he wakes up, I can peek out of the shower door and see across the apartment to the screen that displays a video of his crib. It’s not the most relaxing way to bathe, but the hot water pelting my back and head makes it worth the preplanning involved.
I check on the baby a few times but he’s down for the count, so I linger in the shower longer than usual. It doesn’t take long to scrub my body, paying extra attention to my cock. For the past few weeks, I’ve given in to my baser instincts and allowed my fantasies of a certain alpha with hazel eyes and dimples I could fall into to satisfy my physical needs. I’ve never been particularly interested in sex outside of my heats, and since I’ve been pregnant almost constantly for the last few years, this is the first time I can take my own pleasure from sex.
And it’s the first time I’ve ever truly felt desire for someone.
23
Ethan
Forty minutes early. Sweet.
My flight landed ahead of schedule, so I go directly to the cab stand once my bags come off the carousel and wait for my turn. If I’m lucky, I can make it home before rush-hour traffic begins. That could cut half an hour off the two-hour drive from the airport. It feels like forever on the drive, but when the car finally pulls up in front of my new complex, my anxiety level ratchets up ten notches.
I quickly grab my bags and run up the stairs to the apartment, taking them two at a time. After fumbling for a minute, I get the door unlocked and swing it open, instantly regretting my oafish behavior when I look straight ahead and see Colby sleeping on the baby monitor. He murmurs and shifts his weight but doesn’t wake up.
Thank god!
I carefully close the front door and slip out of my shoes so I can move quietly through the apartment. As I turn down the hall to go to the bathroom, Freddie walks out with just a towel wrapped around his waist. He flinches when he sees me, surprised by my presence, but then his lips pull up into a gorgeous smile.
“Welcome home,” he says quietly, waving me to follow him back into the living room. “You’re earlier than we expected.”
“Sorry for being so loud when I walked in. I hope I didn’t disturb Colby.”
Freddie glances at the baby monitor, and his grin softens into a loving smile. “No worries. That kid can sleep through anything at this point. I’ve been intentionally turning the TV or music up loud so he gets used to background noise. I don’t know if that really works, but it’s better than having to tiptoe around the house for the next eighteen years.”
I chuckle and try to keep my eyes on Freddie’s, but they keep roaming down his body and to the open slit in the towel. I want to inspect every inch of him, but I’m careful not to stare as I pass over his nipples.
Freddie is slim, like he hasn’t spent a lot of time in the gym, but his rounded muscles accentuate his biceps and pecs in a way that makes me want to trace them with my tongue. A light dusting of dark hair starts just below his belly button and disappears underneath his towel, making me desperate to follow it for a prize.
We chat for a few minutes about my trip and the job he’s going to start in a few weeks, and then he brings up something that has me more embarrassed than I’ve felt in a long time.
“So…I was looking for the new swaddle blanket Andy ordered, and I opened up some of your Amazon boxes on accident.”
My eyes immediately dart to the ground, unable to make contact with Freddie’s. “No problem. It’s not a big deal.”
“Good, because right after that, Andy told me not to touch any of your boxes so…”
The lilt in his voice is all the confirmation I need that Freddie found my new toys. Trying to lighten the moment, I decide to own my embarrassment instead of letting it hang between us. “Well, I said that more for his benefit than mine. My brother doesn’t need to know how lonely it gets on those trips.” I force out a smirk. “And I’m sure he doesn’t want to see the toys I use to help ease some of that loneliness.”
Freddie is now more embarrassed than I am, so I feel like my plan worked. “For what it’s worth, they look pretty fun. I’ve never used toys, but I have a feeling I’m going to become intimately familiar with them for, oh, you know, the rest of my life.”
His laugh also sounds forced, but the twinkle in his eye looks sincere—sincerely like desire.
Changing the subject to something that will allow my hard-on to soften, I ask about Andy. “So, how’s my brother?” I watch Freddie’s face carefully for any indications of how he feels about him.
“He’s great. He’s been super helpful with Colby, and he started his new job a few days ago and really likes it. He’s in a good place.” Freddie seems as relieved as I am to move on to a safer topic. “And the more you guys talk about college, the more relaxed he seems to be. I think falling behind his classmates was a big concern with going back to school. But now that he’s going to start looking for a program that will accept his previous transcripts with just the GED, I think he has a whole new lease on life. It’s great to see.”
“Awesome. I’ve been noticing the same thing when we talk, but it’s nice to have confirmation from someone so close to him.”
Freddie just nods his agreement, and before we can get any deeper into the conversation, Colby starts to make little mewling noises over the baby monitor. He’s loud but not angry…yet. They’re just sweet little waking-up sounds.
“Ugh,” Freddie says as he uses both his palms to cover his chest. “I’d better get dressed or I’m gonna leak all over this couch. I’ll be right back.”
Now that I have an excuse to stare, I do. I’m completely transfixed as the change in Freddie’s body is almost instantaneous. His nipples elongate, and his pectorals seem to grow under my gaze as they fill with milk. When he reaches down with one hand to hold the knot on his towel, a drop of milky white fluid bubbles to the tip of his nipple before dripping down onto the floor.
“Shit. I’ll clean that up in a sec.” Freddie double-times it back to his room just as Colby fully wakes up and starts to cry.
“I’m here, I’m here. Hold your horses, kiddo. Daddy needs some shorts before we get you fed.” Not more than a minute passes before Freddie is back with a small towel over one shoulder and Colby squirming in his arms, obviously anxious to feed. I don’t know what to say or how to help, so I just sit and stare dumbly, completely fascinated by the moment.
Freddie is now wearing a pair of loose basketball shorts as he settles into an armchair and moves Colby to his left nipple. The baby latches on instantly, sucking loudly as if he hasn’t eaten in days. “Geez, killer. Slow down there, or you’re gonna puke.”
He taps Colby’s cheek and adjusts his position until the sucking is quieter, and he can finally relax. Freddie props his bare feet up on the edge of the coffee table and leans back, looking up at me with a sigh. “You’d think we starve him by the way he attacks me.”
“I don’t blame him,” I whisper, unable to censor my words before they leave my mouth.
Freddie catches the change in my tone and looks at me with curiosity. “Why is that?”
Oh, shit. I was hoping he didn’t hear that. My eyes refuse to look away from the suckling baby for more than a few seconds, but when I catch Freddie’s heated gaze, I let it hold me—just as transfixed to this beautiful sight as the other.
/>
“I just mean… Well, I get pretty desperate when I miss a meal too.” I force a smile and hope that doesn’t sound as lame to Freddie as it sounds to my own ears.
I don’t think he buys it, but he changes the subject anyway. “There are some leftover meatballs in the fridge and a pot of spaghetti if you’re hungry. Andy has been teaching me to cook, but spaghetti and frozen meatballs is as fancy as I get when he’s not home.”
“Yeah, that sounds great.” Knowing I need to give them some space and take a little space of my own before I do or say something I’m going to regret, I plant my palms on my knees and push up off the couch. “Can I get you some water or something before I hop in the shower?”
“Actually, I put a cup of tea in the microwave earlier. It’s probably still warm if you wouldn’t mind grabbing it for me.”
“Of course.” I reheat Freddie’s tea for a few seconds then bring it and the remote to him, setting them both on the side table within his reach. Before I can walk away, he pulls Colby off one side and shifts his body so the baby can drink from the right side.
I have to shake my head to keep from standing there and staring like a weirdo. “Okay, yeah. I’ll be in the shower. Just holler if you need me.”
Freddie has a small smirk on his face as he nods. “We’ll be right here when you get out.”
I hope the groan that I am stifling on the inside doesn’t actually come out because I wouldn’t want Freddie to think he’s doing anything wrong by being here. It’s me and my damn libido that are the problem. I really need to get laid or else I’m going to scare this kid right back to the shelter.
The water isn’t even hot yet when I step under the stream and take my dick in my hand. My knot is already bulging, and I know this isn’t going to last long. I don’t even want it to. I only need a few strokes and an instant replay of everything I just witnessed to come hard and fast, shooting against the tile as my knot gives way to the pleasure of being so close to the sexy and unattached omega.