A Tail of Woah: A Reverse Harem Academy Tail (The Fox and the Hounds Book 1)

by Jacquelyn Faye

  At least I get the satisfaction of watching Hiroki fuck himself, too. I grinned as he plucked his finger, signed, and the contract flared. Misery loves company.

  Chapter 3

  When you have a school situated deep in the mountains in the middle of fucking nothing, transportation becomes a huge issue. It's not like they can send a giant flying cheese-wagon to pick up your delinquent ass and drop you off at the front gate. When I stepped out of my front door, the last thing I expected to find was a cab.

  "They sent a cab?" I looked over at Hiroki who just shrugged.

  "Maybe it will take us to the train station."

  "Yeah. Don't think the train runs to Iceland," I answered and headed for the cab.

  "I know. I thought… I do not know what I was thinking. Sorry, Ojo-sama."

  "No. It's just Kaede and you have no excuse for calling me anything else for the next three years. We're fellow students, not anything else. Except friends."

  "Hai." He followed behind me. Neither of us had more than a backpack slung over our shoulder. We were told not to bring anything but toiletries, as everything we would possibly need would be provided for us upon our arrival.

  "Two passengers to Aesir?"

  "Uh. Yes. That's us," I said to the cabby as he opened the back door for us.

  "Hop on in."

  I slid in first, Hiroki right behind me. The cab was impeccably clean and looked like a normal cab without the gum stuck to the seats and horrible smelling air-freshener dangling from the mirror. How the hell it was going to get us to school was a mystery. I guessed we would find out soon enough.

  He shut the door and got in the front, starting the meter and pulling away from the front gate of my parents' house. They had said their formal goodbyes before we walked out the door, but I was surprised to see them still standing outside, my father holding my mother in a tender moment.

  "I guess they're glad to see me finally get out of the house for longer than a night."

  "I do not think so. Your mother is crying."

  I shut up after that.

  "Where are we heading?" I got my face as close to the plexiglass divider as I could, to make sure the driver knew I was talking to him.

  "Uh… Aesir Academy? You're not going to do very well with a piss-poor memory like that."

  "No shit, Shizlock. It's not like we can drive there. Are you taking us to the airport?"

  "What kind of cabbie would I be if I didn't take you where you wanted to go?"

  We hit the edge of the city and he gunned the engine on the open highway. Mysteriously, there was an utter lack of other vehicles on the road. Or people. Animals, birds, reptiles, or anything…

  "Kaede-sama, look at the road…"

  I looked out the window and down at the asphalt beneath us. Waves splashed against our tires with tumultuous black water beneath it. We were driving on the River Styx. "You're a Charon," I said through the plexiglass.

  The once-normal looking cabbie turned around and a skeletal face peered back at us. "Yep. Five points to Griffinpuff!"

  "Huh?"

  "Never mind. Sit back and hold on. Things are going to get a little bumpy!" He cackled and began swinging the steering wheel right to left. The car didn't move and floated gently down the river, slowly picking up speed. We waited for the bumpy part that never came.

  Twenty minutes later, we floated around the outside of the peak of a snowcapped mountain and then dipped down into a valley of green. "When do we get to the ride, Johnny?"

  "This is the ride," Hiroki answered automatically.

  "This ride blows. They should have totally made that last part a water flume or something."

  "After eight-hundred-years of kids puking in the back of my cab, I turned it into a kiddie ride."

  "Ew. I don't blame you. Puke is gross."

  "Especially sake-scented," Hiroki said with a grin.

  "Shut up. You're supposed to be on my side."

  "Always, Ojo-sama."

  I elbowed him in the ribs and decided to keep doing so until he stopped with the princess and the honorifics. "Think they'll have sake?"

  "I highly doubt it," he answered, rubbing the spot I had hit him.

  "It's not fair."

  "What?"

  "My dependence on sake."

  "You are not truly an alcoholic."

  "Not what I meant. Mom gets to drink whatever she wants, but because of Dad and his service to Inari, I'm stuck drinking rice wine for the rest of my life." I wasn't kidding. Anything else made my stomach horribly upset. Like, projectile vomiting like a flame spewing dragon, upset. It wasn't pretty.

  "Yes, well… Maybe it would be a good idea to avoid liquor while at school."

  "What fun would that be?"

  "You might want to consider limiting your intake of fun for the next three years. Get through this, then worry about it."

  "What fun would that be?" I grinned at him, let my face change in a partial shift, and flashed him my rows of sharp teeth.

  "Spoken like a true fox," the cabbie said with a chuckle. "You might want to tone it down on the conversations that give away what you are. I'm not a student, nor do I give a mortal shit what you are. But we are almost to the school. Anybody who can overhear you there will be very interested."

  "The headmaster mentioned something about that. What do they get if they figure it out? A plaque? Trophy?"

  "Extra credit. If they guess correctly. And you lose points. Three correct guesses and you have to repeat the year."

  "You better take extra care controlling your tails, Ojo-sama."

  "And you better start calling her by her name. You're both obviously Japanese, that will be a big clue right there and not one you can hide. Calling her princess might start giving them clues."

  I elbowed Hiroki in the ribs again and shot him a reproving look.

  "My apologies, Kaede-sama."

  "Just Kaede. Chan, if you must. I know twenty-three years of conditioning is hard to break. But do it anyway."

  "Hai."

  "There it is," the cabbie called out, pointing a bony finger in the direction of Aesir Academy. "Your home for the next three years."

  "Joy," I said with just a hint of snark to flavor my sarcasm, but if I were being honest, the place was pretty fucking impressive looking. Gray stone spires and buttresses seemed to grow from the massive walls, while walkways and bridges connected everything. Dragons flew overhead and a myriad of busses, cabs, carriages, trains, planes, and automobiles drifted down lazy rivers, landing strips, and highways that touched the front of the castle in different tiers. Ours was the lowest and the sun disappeared as we floated beneath the highway above us. I breathed a sigh of relief when the cab floated to a stop.

  "Two gold," the driver said and held out his hand.

  I started to panic when Hiroki slapped two glinting coins into his bony palm. "Your mother," he said by way of explanation when he saw my confused look.

  "She gave us fare for the ride home, right?" He ignored me and got out of the cab. "Right?"

  I growled and slid over the seat, my legs sticking to the pleather seat. I shouldn't have worn a skirt, but I wore little else. Iceland in the fall wasn't conducive to exposed bare skin. Gooseflesh covered my skin the moment I got out of the car. I was about to let loose with a coat of fur when Hiroki grabbed my arm, slowly shaking his head. "Giving away what you are the moment you get out of the cab would probably break some sort of record."

  "Well then, shut up and run. It's probably warm inside and they probably have cocoa or something."

  "That would be Switzerland, not Iceland."

  "Fucking Icicle-land."

  "It is not that cold."

  "Yeah…sure. Let's go with that."

  "First years?" A tall blonde woman wielding a clipboard and a pen asked as we stepped toward the walkway leading to the school.

  "Hai."

  "Names?"

  Hiroki started answering her questions while I looked around. The loading tier
s above us didn't have walkways into the school. Giant spiral staircases wound down to ours and students were literally pouring from them, heading directly for the giant double doors.

  "Okay, I have both of you on my list. You may go inside," the woman walked away, flagging down the kid getting out of the cab behind us.

  "Thanks," I said, trying to be polite, but she ignored me.

  "Come, Kaede. Let us go."

  "Okey dokey, Hiroki," I said and gave him a grin. He hated it when I said that and flashed me a disgusted look. He headed for the door, and just as I started walking, two-hundred pounds of jock slammed into my side.

  We both stopped dead in our tracks and stared at each other. His jaw clenched in annoyance and I could see the heat dancing in his blue eyes. "Watch where you're going, scrub," he said with a low growl and a huff. Just as he started to walk away, he stopped and sniffed the air around him, his eyes resting again on me. Nostrils flaring, he continued sampling the air around him, eyes narrowing and kind of a scary look on his face. "What are you?"

  "Um, hi. I'm the girl you just ran into. I don't think we're supposed to tell each other what we are, but if I had to guess right this minute… I'd bet that you were an asshole," I said with a smile, and skipped off to catch up to Hiroki, who had stopped halfway to the double doors to watch our exchange. He wasn't looking at me, either. He was staring at the douche bucket who had ran into me.

  "You okay?" He asked as I passed him.

  "Yep. Just the local jock strap trying to mark his territory by being a dick."

  Hiroki chuckled and followed me inside.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  "This has to be the way," I pointed down the long corridor toward the open double doors. "Everybody else is going that way."

  "Judging by the sign over the doors that says it is the great hall, I am inclined to agree with you."

  "Oh. I missed that part."

  "The obvious? You usually do."

  "Somebody's in a mood."

  He sighed. "My apologies, Kaede-chan." I covered my lips and stifled a giggle at his use of chan. I could see him struggling with it, but he finally got it out. After twenty-fucking-years, my little Hiroki had finally done it. "There are many predators among the students. My nerves are on edge."

  "Yeah. Ignore it. They don't know who is who, and what is what. We're safe. Not like we're going to get eaten on the first day."

  "I do not know. The gentleman out front looked like he wished to feast upon you."

  "I know right? I musta smelled like a big old juicy steak. He couldn't stop sniffing the air around me."

  "Be careful around him. And the two who were with him."

  "Huh. I didn't even notice them."

  "They looked as if they were cut from the same cloth."

  "Or haunch of ass meat."

  Hiroki snickered. "Yes. Or that."

  We entered the great hall. I don't know why, but I had been expecting some sort of dining area with long tables running the length. It looked more like an auditorium filled with church pews. My excitement level dropped considerably while the growling in my tummy increased in pitch. I was starving and looking forward to some food. Even school food.

  "When are they going to feed us?"

  "Probably at lunch which is," he paused to look at his watch, "two-hours away. Will you survive?"

  "Maybe. But if I start chewing on your arm, you know why."

  We sat at the edge of the row of seats in the back, planning on staying there until one of the teachers wrecked our plans of an early escape. "Scoot in until you're next to the other students. Make room for everyone."

  Sighing, I got up and headed for the middle of the row, stopping in my tracks when I saw who was the last one in the row. Mr. Jockstrap. Smiling, I waved as I sat down next to him and crossed my legs in front of me. Feeling the growl in his chest, more than hearing it, I turned to him.

  I almost shut up because he was so damn good looking. Shaggy blond hair pulled back in a short ponytail. Chiseled jaw. Blue eyes. But then I came to my senses. "You're awfully grumbly over there, did you get some bad chicken? I think I have some antacids in my bag. You want one?"

  He ignored me. Me.

  He scooted over as much as he could, away from me and closer to his other buddies. I leaned forward to check them out. They must have had the same idea and were making no qualms about it. They both were leaning forward, too.

  "Hi!" I gave them a little wave, too. One of them looked just like Jacques Strahp. Same chiseled jaw and stylish blond hair. The other, though, had long, brown hair in a ponytail that disappeared down somewhere around his ass. He was thinner than the other two, as well. Not nearly as muscular, but even sitting down, I could tell he was the tallest of the three. "I'm Kaede."

  Jacques' twin was another man of few words and leaned back against the bench without so much as batting an eye.

  Tall dark and sexy gave me a small smile. "David," he said softly before leaning back. At least one of them wasn't stuck up.

  The other two gave him a look and he faced forward, the smile never leaving his lips. I liked him already. "So, what did you fellers do to get sent to Camp Pretendtobehuman?"

  "Do you ever shut up?"

  "When I'm sleeping."

  Jacques shook his head and continued to try to ignore me.

  "At least tell me your name, because I'm going to be honest with you, the one I have in my head for you is pretty unflattering."

  His head turned so fast I could almost hear it. His scowl was kind of frightening, as were his nostrils flaring a mile a minute. "It couldn't be any worse than what I call you in my head."

  "Mine's probably funnier, though. You don't seem like you have much of a sense of humor."

  David must have been listening. He snorted.

  "'Annoying bitch' is funny."

  "You think it is? Have you ever laughed when someone called you that? I mean, it's fitting, but not really chuckle or chortle worthy." I nodded in emphasis, lifting my lips a tad.

  Jacques was turning red. Never a good sign. "You…you…you–"

  "Light up my life? Make me whole? Lift you up?"

  He stood up and growled. His twin stood up and wrapped his arms around him, keeping him from taking a swing at me, but the way his muscles were bulging, I gave him fifty-fifty odds of containing his rage. My work there was done.

  "Ugh. I can't believe you farted," I shouted and stood up, ushering Hiroki to exit the pews. There was a solid wall of students all the way to the end, a factor I hadn't taken into consideration. Our escape route was blocked. "Ooopsie. Guess I'll just have to deal with the smell," I said and nervously sat back down.

  "Trade seats with me," Hiroki said exasperatedly.

  I crawled over his lap and plopped down on his left, grateful to be away from Jacques. Hiroki simply crossed his arms and stared straight ahead, ignoring everyone and everything around him. Including me.

  "Arigato," I whispered as I leaned a little closer.

  "Restraint," was all he said.

  Jacques' twin finally wrangled him down beside Hiroki just as Uncle Tatsuo walked out onto the stage. "Greetings students of Aesir Academy," he said without the aid of a microphone, his voice booming to the farthest reaches of the great hall. There was a smattering of applause, nobody truly seeming to be happy to be there. It looked like I wasn't the only one sent there as a punishment. That didn't stop Uncle Tatsuo. He chuckled merrily at everyone's lack of enthusiasm. "Tough crowd."

  One person giggled.

  "Let's get right to it then, shall we? You are here for a very specific reason. To learn to blend into the human world. Some, if not all of you, have showed an utter lack of restraint in your attempts to do so as of yet. By the end of your stay at our fine establishment, you will be able to balance checkbooks, discuss finance options for retirement with your neighbor Paul, attend pot-luck dinners, order from a menu at fast-food establishments, and not end up on the evening news!"

  "He's looking at me,"
I hissed at Hiroki.

  "Yes. He is."

  "Very subtle."

  "Not in the slightest."

  "That was sarcasm."

  "It was lost on me."

  "I see that."

  The teacher standing behind us coughed and shot me a menacing stare when I looked at her over my shoulder. Where the hell were you when I was about to get accosted by the troll?

  I looked around Hiroki. Jacques wasn't paying attention to Tatsuo. He was staring at me, looking like he was wondering if I would taste better braised or fricasseed. I gave him a grin and turned my attention back on my uncle.

  "You all were warned before your arrival that it is of the utmost importance that you do not divulge your specific nature to your fellow students. This is part of your grade. If you can go an entire year without anyone learning what you are, you pass. This is dependent on your test scores and whatnot, of course. Now the fun part. At the entrance to the great hall, you might have noticed a box upon the wall. Above said box are entrance forms. Should you think you know the truth of someone's nature…you may guess. Simply fill out the provided form. A word of caution before you do. Should you guess correctly, bonus points will be added to your final grade and deducted from the person you have correctly identified."

  The round of applause was much louder this time. Extra-credit always got everybody's attention. A few people even whistled while others began studying those around them.

  "Now for the bad news," Tatsuo continued. "Should your guess be off the mark, incorrect or only partially correct… Points will be deducted from your final score and added to the person or persons you guessed incorrectly."

  The silence in the room was almost deafening. Even the crickets were afraid to chime in.

  "And for the piece de resistance, should three people correctly guess what you are in any given year… The student must repeat the year as they have utterly failed in hiding their nature."

  This time his speech was met with outright groans and objections.

  "Silence!" His voice left little room for argument and might have cracked the foundation a little. Don't piss off a dragon. Everybody fell silent. "This is not up for negotiation. There are no do overs, no begging, no pleading, and most of all…no mercy. These rules have been in place since the founding of the school and it is something we take very seriously. Do your best to appear human. Also, keep in mind that some of your instructors are, or were, human. You will be polite and courteous at all times. There are far greater punishments than repeating a year. Do you understand?"