A Tail of Woah: A Reverse Harem Academy Tail (The Fox and the Hounds Book 1)

by Jacquelyn Faye

  His mental chuckle caressed my cheek and left me standing there staring at the twins and Hiroki. They were looking at me like I lost my damn mind. I might have. That would probably be a better option than being hijacked by a Norse god and planning a trip to hell to save my boyfriend from his psychotic sister. "Sabine dragged him to hell," I told them earnestly.

  "To…hell?" Rome growled at me as he dusted himself off. While conversing with Fenrir, the chains had released him. "You are certifiably insane."

  "True story, bro, but I'm telling you the truth. Just like I've been getting visits from Fenrir, your sister has been acting as host for Hel. Hel wants me dead, and to do that…your sister abducted David and is waiting for me in Helheim. How the hell do I get to hell? The underworld. Helheim. Whatever."

  Rome looked at Remy. Remy looked at Hiroki. Hiroki looked like he wanted to put me to bed with a cold washrag on my head.

  "I'm not kidding!"

  "How do you know all this?" Remy put his hands on his hips.

  "Uh, hello? Did you not just hear me talking to Fenrir?"

  "Kaede-sama…we saw you talking to yourself."

  I narrowed my eyes at Hiroki, wanting to smack the worried look off his face, but if I thought about it, what they witnessed probably looked like me losing my marbles. Or Sabine in a bathroom. Whatever.

  "Fine. Screw all of you. I'll find a way all by myself. And rescue him. All by myself. And kick your sister's ass…all by myself. Okay? Come on, Hiroki. You're coming with me."

  I turned around and stomped out of the temple, blinking in the bright morning sun. "How the hell is it morning already?"

  The wolves were gone and there weren't any bodies, thankfully. Sabine's pets were standing there looking very uncomfortable. "What?"

  "We're sorry," the hellhound named Steph said, then turned around and walked away. The werewolf, whose name I still didn't know, knelt on the ground.

  I sighed. "Thank you," I said to her. She did help me when it mattered. "You can go."

  She shook her head.

  "Seriously. Go. Go to class or something. Get an edumacation. Do something with your life other than the lackey of evil bitches."

  "I will. I guess I'm the lackey of a good bitch now."

  "Pardon?" I wasn't ruffled at being called a bitch. Or that she called me good. It was the lackey part I had a problem with. I already had one of those. Or used to. Guess he was more of a boyfriend now. The thought made me smile, but I shook my head and walked over to the American werewolf in Iceland.

  "You seriously think I could trust you?" I felt bad for saying it, but it was the truth. "You'd toss me to Sabine the first chance you got, even if you didn't want to."

  "No. I…uh… I couldn't."

  "Sure, you could. That's what former lackeys of evil bitches do. My new master treats me nice and gives me puddings, but my old master…she used to beat me so good. It's a whole psychological bullshit thing I just came up with, but I wouldn't put it past you."

  She sighed and shook her head. "You don't understand, I can't!" She snarled and lifted her head, exposing her neck. Standing above her as she knelt on the ground, I missed the ghostly gray tattoo of a chain encircling her neck. Hesitantly, I reached out and touched it, pulling my hand back as it writhed beneath my fingers.

  "Oh."

  "Yeah, oh. Fenrir literally just made me your bitch," she said with a little chuckle that didn't reach her eyes. I knew how she felt.

  Reaching out my hand, she took it and I helped her to her feet.

  "Thanks for your help earlier. Were all the wolves okay?"

  "Yes," Rome answered behind me. "I would not have hurt them on purpose."

  I was still pissed at him, but I said, "Thank you."

  He nodded.

  "Kaede," Remy continued.

  "I meant what I said. It's fine if you don't believe me or not want to help. I have Hiroki and…" I looked at my new forced friend, not knowing her name. She blinked in surprise.

  "Meagan."

  She winced in pain as I saw double. She is your Geri. You will address her as such. As punishment, she has lost who and what she was.

  "Geri," she said again, shaking her head.

  Ouch. That's gotta hurt. I wasn't talking about having Fenrir in her head, either. "As I was saying," I continued to Remy, "Hiroki, Geri, and I got this."

  I started heading back to school.

  "If you think that I'm not going to help you get our friend back, you're wrong. And for the record, I do believe you. I just don't want you to be right. Or put yourself in danger. But, I'm your boyfriend, too. Of course I'll help."

  "You are?" I stopped in my tracks.

  "What? Helping you?"

  "No. The other part. The boyfriend part."

  "I am? Aren't I?"

  It was really hard, but I managed not to grin from ear to ear. "Maybe. I'll consider it. Maybe. Yes. Okay. You is." I might have grinned. "Can we go save the other one now?"

  "Yes."

  "No." Rome answered.

  "No?" We said in unison.

  "Not until we arm ourselves, inform Tatsuo and my mother, and come up with a plan to get to the underworld."

  "Your sister knows the way and you don't?"

  "My sister is a Priestess of Hel. I am but the head of the family. Her ties to Helheim are greater than mine, but I still command the family. Just as my mother can expel me from school."

  Made sense in a roundabout, dysfunctional sort of way. "I'm good with that. Maybe Uncle Tatsuo or your mother will know the way."

  "I already know," Hiroki said quietly.

  We all turned to stare at him incredulously. "Care to share? Cuz sharing is caring."

  "We take a cab…"

  "Charon," Rome, Remy, and I said in unison…

  Chapter 23

  Four in the back, one in the front wasn't as kinky as it sounded when you were talking about cab seats. Rome and Remy were on the outside seats in the back, Roki in the middle, and I was kind of halfway draped between Hiroki and Remy. Geri was in the front, happily ignoring the rest of us. She might be mine, but she wasn't exactly thrilled about it.

  I sighed and leaned back against my boys, ready for the cab ride from hell. No, that would be the return trip. I was ready for the cab ride to hell.

  Sitting there, winding through the mountains, I played back in my head everything Uncle Tatsuo had told us. Headmistress Lateran was nowhere to be found, but he didn't seem overly concerned for her well-being. It was us he was worried about. Especially me. "Kaede…if anything happens to you."

  "It won't be the end of the world! Literally!"

  He hadn't appreciated my joke.

  He had reminded me exactly what my mother would do to him should anything horrific happen to me. I'd tried to make the argument for having a fucking dragon go with us, but the look he gave me was enough to quell that idea. Guess he wasn't too worried about pissing off my mother. He'd even come up with some sort of bullshit excuse about tipping the scales of blah, blah, blah if he even put one claw inside the boundaries of the underworld. Sounded like a bucket of dragon shit to me, but I wasn't about to argue with someone with teeth longer than me.

  Sighing, I put my head against Remy's shoulder and stared at the immaculate ceiling inside the cab. That was the first giveaway that it wasn't a human cab. There was no gum stuck to it. "You smell good," I told Remy without looking up at him.

  He didn't respond.

  I have this thing about being ignored, especially by my boyfriend. I don't like it. Especially since I hadn't done anything wrong. Lately. Being my usual charming, and playful, self, I reached over and pinched his nipple.

  "Ow! What the hell is wrong with you?"

  "Rome?" I looked up at his face and then around Roki. Remy was sitting there waving at me, trying very hard not to laugh. "Oops. Why didn't you tell me you weren't you?"

  "In what fucking world does that sentence make sense?"

  "The under? I don't know. I thought you were
Remy. Why didn't you tell me to get the hell off you when I draped myself across you like you were my therapist's couch?"

  "You have a therapist?"

  "Several."

  "Find better ones."

  "Tried."

  He chuckled and looked back out the window, watching the mountains pass us by. "We should be there soon," he said ominously. Almost sounding worried.

  "Ima go lay on your brother. He likes it when I pinch his nipples."

  "You do that."

  "I will."

  "Good."

  "Fine," I said and turned around, squishing Roki's giblets as I moved across his lap. He shot me a dirty look.

  "It's not that far to Hell. You could have stayed where you were. I was enjoying watching my brother being so uncomfortable," Remy whispered.

  "I can hear you, Rem."

  "I know," he whispered again. "Just admit it. You liked having the fox on your lap."

  Rome turned and shot him a look of pure disgust. But the corner of his mouth twitched, almost like he was battling a…smile? Surely, I was mistaken.

  "It's cold. She's warm. And she doesn't smell unpleasant."

  "Awww. You're so sweet," I said and put my feet on his lap, leaning against Remy and grinning.

  Rome turned and looked out the window, ignoring my using him as a footrest. I snuggled up against Remy's shoulder, enjoying his warmth and giving Roki a sad smile. I was worried about David and felt a little guilty about playing games with Rome. Rome and Remy had assured me that he was safe, that in some deep, sick, twisted way, Sabine truly cared for David. She was just using him as bait. I just hoped they were right.

  "Something is worrying me," Rome said and didn't turn to look at us. The fear in my stomach welled to twice its original size.

  "What?" I wanted to reach over and turn his head to see his face, but I would have had to use my foot. He might not appreciate that.

  "Why is Tatsuo letting you go to the underwold?"

  "What do you mean, brother?" Remy shifted beneath me.

  Rome turned to look at him. It made me a little jealous. "I'll be honest…"

  "Need a drink first?" I grinned at him. His eyes flickered to me for a moment, but he resisted the urge to plink me in the forehead for being a snot.

  "I took you to his office to tell him of your plan so he could talk you out of it."

  My eyes narrowed in anger. "You'd leave your friend in the hands of your psychopathic sister in hell? What the hell is wrong with you?"

  "I did not say that. I said I wanted him to talk you out of going. I would still have made the journey to rescue him. I'm also sure Remy would have gone with me."

  "You're worried about me?" I stared in disbelief.

  "No." He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "I'm worried about you being physically in the same realm as Fenrir."

  "Uh huh. Promise not to let the doggy off his leash while we're there."

  "That's not what I'm afraid of."

  "What?"

  "His body lies in Helheim, his Consciousness, even sleeping, lies in the temple of Midgard. I'm worried about him following you to Helheim."

  "Oh."

  "Yes."

  "Should I wait in the car?"

  "You would?"

  "No. But thanks for playing."

  He sighed and nodded. "I didn't think so."

  "If Uncle Tatsuo isn't worried, you shouldn't be, either."

  "That's what I'm afraid of," he answered cryptically and turned back toward the window. "We're here," he said and sat up rigidly.

  I leaned forward to look out his window. We were over a fucking volcano. "Um…" The cab turned and we were plummeting sideways, heading straight for the base of it. I managed not to scream. Barely. "Tell me we're not going inside. Tell me we're not going inside."

  "We're going inside," Rome answered.

  "I told you not to fucking tell me that!" I punched him in the arm. He laughed. I should have pinched his nipple. Apparently, they were sensitive.

  I looked out the windshield, over the seat and fought not to turn green and puke on Rome. We were going really fast and weren't showing any signs of slowing. Even when we were about to slam into the base of it. By the time I saw the cave, I was already hyperventilating. And I might have peed a little. Sorry, Roki.

  The cave curved downward and we splashed down onto a river. The cab miraculously floated on the surface as everything around us flared brightly with blue flames, not unlike my fox fire. "The River Styx," I whispered breathlessly.

  The Charon driving turned and nodded over his shoulder, his face taking on an unearthly skeletal visage. It would probably be impolite to tell him to keep his eyes on the river and wear a hoodie, so I kept my mouth shut.

  I leaned over Remy and looked out his window. The river was pitch black, only illuminated by the fires skimming its surface. Oily, black hands reached out to glide their greasy fingers along the side of the cab, some of them had nails long enough to make me shudder from the noise it made as they scratched the metal.

  "You okay?" Remy gently touched my cheek.

  "Yeah. I just really want to go swimming right now, but I didn't bring my bathing suit. So, I'm kinda bummed."

  "We could go skinny dipping later…"

  I grinned at him and wiggled my eyebrows. "Tell you what, when we get David back and everyone home safely, I'll take you up on that. But it has to be a hot spring or no go."

  "Deal!" He sealed it with a kiss.

  The thought, and the kiss, sent a shiver down my spine that caressed my nether regions… I might have peed a little. Okay, it wasn't pee. Sorry, Roki.

  Sighing, I leaned back against Remy and sat quietly for the remainder of the short journey through the Tunnel of Crud. I sat back up when we slowed and drifted toward a dock of skull encrusted stone.

  "Land of the Dead," the Charon said with a crackly voice and the two passenger side doors opened. Geri practically leaped from her seat, not that I blamed her. She was the one sitting next to Skeletor. Rome stepped out and held out a hand for me. I assumed it was for me. Unless he was all about the Roki, which I would have been fine with, too, as long as I got to watch. Grabbing his hand, he pulled me from the cab, not letting go as Remy and Roki got out on their own.

  "I'm okay," I told Rome, staring at my hand in his. He coughed and let go.

  We'd done it. We made it to Hell in one piece. Now we just needed to figure out where in the hell we needed to go.

  "Let's go," Rome said quietly, almost whispering.

  "Where?" I finally voiced my concerns.

  "To find Sabine?"

  "Do you have a map?"

  "No. Something better," he said and shifted, sniffing the air around us.

  "Ahh. The Bitch Tracker 9000. Glad you brought yours."

  He huffed and started walking up the stone steps, his paws barely fitting on the shallow ledges and taking three of them at a time.

  "Want a ride?" Remy's voice slid silkily into my ear.

  "Here? Now? Shouldn't we find David first?"

  He chuckled and shifted too, holding a leg out for me to step on. He was such a gentlehound.

  "Why, thank you, kind sir." I scrambled up his back and put my leg over his fur covered muscle, settling myself behind his head and putting my hands on either side to steady myself. "You coming, Roki? Geri?"

  "I shall run."

  "Suit yourself. Can't believe you're passing up an opportunity to have a hot guy between your legs, but if you're uncomfortable with it…"

  "Kaede-sama?"

  "Yes, Roki-kun?"

  "Shut up."

  That was the first time in my life he had ever told me to shut up. He'd asked for me to stop talking, of course. Everybody I knew had at one point or another. But for the words "shut" and "up" to be used consecutively with such commanding intent… I kind of liked it. "You know that's not gonna happen. But that was kind of hot. Say it again."

  He chuckled, rolled his eyes, and shook his head.

&nb
sp; I looked down at Geri. She had watched our exchange with a curious look on her face. "Want a ride?"

  She bowed politely before shaking her head. "I will run with your friend."

  Remy took off after Rome, the jerking motion catching me off guard. I'd never even ridden a horse, let alone a dog. The experience was…yeah. Kind of frightening, but the motions beneath me were… Let's just say why I finally understood the whole bareback movement popular among women riders. By the time we stopped, I was leaning against his head, smiling lazily and tracing circles through his fur.

  "Why are we stopping?"

  Rome shifted back, hastily making shushing noises with his hand and lips. I slid down off Remy's back and crept over to the now crouching and hiding behind a rock, Rome. He was peering around it and I looked over his shoulder. Skeletal guards were blocking a passage through the rock. I thought somebody had left them to rot, but their heads were moving, looking for intruders with empty eye sockets.

  "What are we going to do?"

  "I don't know. If we fight them, we might alert an army."

  "Aren't you a hellhound? Can't you just tell them to bugger off or something?"

  "Hellhounds are guardians. We keep people from going where they shouldn't."

  "Bang up job, too," I mumbled under my breath. The look he gave me was unpleasant, and yet pleasant at the same time. He was angry, but he was kind of hotter when he was angry. "Well it's not like there's another hole through the giant stone wall that seems to be in the way of the direction we need to go. Don't doggies like bones?"

  "Not when they're moving. And dusty."

  "Fine. Watch this."

  I reached into my blazer jacket and plucked one of the leaves I kept there for such emergencies. Turning myself invisible, I quickly headed for the corpse corps. Each spell I cast on myself lasted for a certain amount of time, depending on the intricacy of the magic. Invisibility lasted for only a few moments, otherwise it would have been first and foremost in my repertoire. School would have been way more fun if I could turn invisible all the time. But I probably would have been expelled by the end of the first day.

  As quickly as I could, I ran to the one in the center, picked up a rock and bashed it in the side of its skull. The others immediately went on alert. I hoped the one in the center would think one of the others had done it and started a Three Stooges comedy routine, but they didn't. They spread out and started looking for intruders.