Pretend for Daddy

by Hamel, B. B.

  He frowns at me then glances at the bag. “What’s that?”

  “Bomb,” I say wickedly.

  He glares. “Not funny, asshole.”

  “It’s cash for your boss.”

  “Not funny, either.” He glances around. “Are you trying to get arrested?”

  “Let me see him, Arian.”

  “No can do,” he answers. “Mayor’s in a meeting with some special interests and you’re not invited.”

  “Then I’ll wait.”

  “He’s booked. Come back another day, Knox.”

  I stand there and face Arian down, but the man isn’t budging. He stares right back at me with all the weight of a jaded political operative behind him.

  “Okay then,” I say and walk right around him.

  “Hey!” Arian steps to grab me but I shimmy away. I feel the stitches in my side pull but they don’t break as I skirt around the secretary’s desk and walk fast for the mayor’s office door. “Knox, damn it, he really is in a meeting!”

  I push into the office abruptly, letting the door slam on the other side. The sound echoes through the wood and marble space and three men look back at me.

  The mayor’s sitting behind his desk, a look of surprise on his face. Two men sit in front of him, both old and gray and wearing suits that are way too big for them. Union boys, I recognize immediately, probably dock workers or something like that.

  “Knox?” the mayor says.

  I close the door behind me before Arian can barge in.

  “Sorry to disturb you, Mayor,” I say.

  The mayor cocks his head. “I’m in a meeting, Knox.”

  “I know you are, sir. But I need a moment of your time.”

  “We booked this a month in advance,” the man on the left says. “You can fuck off, Knox.”

  I recognize him suddenly. His name is Sully Fitzpatrick, not a dock guy, but a carpenter.

  “Fuck off yourself, Sully,” I bark at him. “How much did you pay to get in here? I’ll triple it.”

  All three men look aghast. I grin at them wildly. “This is beyond the pale, Mayor,” Sully says.

  I walk up to the mayor’s desk, ignoring the two men, and drop my bag of cash in front of him. The mayor hesitates before peeking inside.

  He nearly chokes.

  “Excuse us, would you please, gentlemen? Don’t leave, when Knox is finished we’ll pick right back up.”

  “This is outrageous!” Sully says, standing. His partner hesitates before standing as well. “I won’t be treated like this, Mayor. You need my support.”

  The mayor stands, shooting me a look, and walks the two men out. I’m sure he whispers placating words to them as he goes.

  When they’re gone, he comes back to his desk and sits back down.

  “Okay, Knox. Two minutes. Why is there a bag of what looks like half a million dollars on my desk?”

  I don’t bother sitting. I don’t have time.

  “All of that money is for you,” I tell him straight up, “if you’ll get the casino proposal approved this week.”

  He blinks at me. “Are you fucking joking?”

  “Every single penny. Hell, I’ll double it, in cash, delivered to your house on Friday.”

  “Knox—”

  “I’ll triple it. One point five million, in cash, in your house.”

  “Goddamn it, Knox.” He leans back in his chair… but he doesn’t throw me out.

  “Mayor, I need this. It’s life and death.”

  He’s quiet for a second before sighing. “Sit down.”

  I hesitate but decide to sit. My stitches are hurting.

  “Listen, Knox, I now you’ve been calling all over town, talking to every damn politician and city planner you can corner. You’ve written more checks in the last weeks than most billionaires write in a year. And yet here you are, still pushing. You know the damn thing will get approved, right?”

  I frown at him. “Nobody’s said that.”

  “Of course not. You’re throwing money around so they’re all gobbling it up. But the city’s been relaxing its standards for years, Knox. Your proposal came at the right time.”

  I lean back in my seat, floored. “When?”

  “I don’t know. Soon. A month, maybe two.”

  “No. I need it this week.”

  “Why the fuck do you need it so fast?”

  “You wouldn’t believe me and you don’t want to know.”

  The mayor sighs and rubs his eyes. “Look, I don’t know if I can do it. Your friend, that spooky motherfucker, John, he’s been pushing hard for you, lobbying everyone. You’re right there on the edge, but if you keep pulling this sort of stunt… it won’t happen.”

  “And I’m telling you, it has to be this week. Tomorrow would be best.”

  The mayor throws up his hands. “You’re crazy.”

  I lean forward, eyes ablaze again. “No, Mayor. I’m in love.”

  He looks at me like I’ve just grown two heads. “I don’t know what that means, Knox. I know you just got married, but…”

  “Take the money. Make it happen.”

  “I can’t promise that.”

  “One point five million.” I stand up and stare at him. He looks back at me, weary and tired and old. “Not a political donation. No PACs, no bullshit. Just straight cash.”

  “That’s not as tempting as you think.”

  “Yes, it is,” I say, laughing. “I know you have businesses all over this city you can run the cash through. You’ll have it squeaky clean in no time.”

  He glances at the bag… and his fingers twitch toward it.

  “Three times this, huh?” he says softy.

  “Make it happen. Personally, make it happen.”

  He finally, slowly, reluctantly… nods.

  “Good,” I say and leave without another word.

  Arian’s waiting for me outside.

  “You have any idea what that stunt’s gonna cost us?” he growls. “The damn carpenters union is talking about pulling—”

  “Go sit on it, Arian, you whiny asshole.”

  He blinks at me and doesn’t respond as I walk off. I get into the elevator and ride it down, smiling to myself the whole way.

  I keep waiting for the police to show up. I keep waiting for the mayor to report me. That wouldn’t be such a dumb move. I mean, if he got caught with that money, he’d be as fucked as me.

  And yet nobody arrives.

  I always knew this city was corrupt… I just didn’t know how badly until now.

  I make it outside, out into freedom, and spot Ruby sitting on a low concrete wall. She jumps to her feet, her red hair shining in the light.

  And I know it, right in that moment. I know it without a doubt in my mind.

  I love that girl. Fucking hell, do I love her.

  “How did it go?” she asks, running over to me.

  I grin and pull her close. “It went great.”

  And I kiss her nice and slow.

  19

  Ruby

  We go back to work the next day.

  Not back to the work of pushing through the proposal… but actual work.

  “Why are we even here?” I ask him as we get into the office bright and early. “Seriously, what’s the point?”

  He just smiles at me enigmatically. “Trust me, Ruby, darling.”

  I sigh and shake my head. “You’re going to get me killed.”

  “Maybe, maybe, but you’ll have fun on the way out.”

  I roll my eyes. “Not worth it.”

  “Very worth it.”

  I sigh but decide not to argue.

  He’s been in a good mood ever since we left city hall yesterday. He won’t tell me what happened in there, but it could’ve have been bad.

  He spends most of the day on the phone again, but this time there isn’t the same level of urgency. I keep thinking about the day before, about him taking risks for me, about him being reckless.

  And I keep seeing that man attack us
.

  When he first appeared, he slammed into Knox… and then, instead of thinking about himself, Knox stood up in front of me. He protected me, even then, when the guy had a knife and he was unarmed.

  That’s why I threw myself at that bastard, because I knew Knox was willing to do whatever he needed to do for me.

  That thought keeps running through my mind. Knox would do anything for me, anything at all. It can’t just be for the baby he wants. That’s just absurd.

  He could get a child a million different ways. There are women that would die to have a baby for him. Plus, he could pay a surrogate, or adopt, or do any number of things.

  Instead, he’s sticking with me. He’s doing this for me.

  I don’t think I realize that fully until the end of the day when we’re leaving together. Instead of heading out, he lingers by my desk.

  “Ready to go?” he asks casually, like it’s totally normal for the two of us to leave together.

  I look up at him and I can just see the way he’s looking at me. I see the expression, the simple devotion, right there in his eyes.

  “I’m ready,” I say.

  He grins. “Okay then. Let’s go.”

  I get up and follow him. We walk close together and as we hit the sidewalk, his hand slips into mine.

  It’s such a simple gesture. He doesn’t even seem to notice that he does it.

  But I grab onto his hand tight and I feel tears in my eyes. I have to bite them back or else risk looking like a total psycho.

  We head back to the apartment, hand in hand, and it feels like we’re married.

  Like we’re really, truly married.

  There’s something different in him today. I don’t think I really could pinpoint exactly what changed… but as we walk, I think I feel it.

  “You’re in a good mood,” I say.

  He glances at me. “I guess.”

  “Why?”

  He shrugs a little and looks up at the sky. It’s a startling blue and the wind is crisp and the sidewalk is clean and it’s a beautiful day. “Just am.”

  “Did the proposal go through?”

  He snorts. “Not yet.”

  “So we might still die.”

  “Yep. We might.”

  “But you don’t think so.”

  “Honestly?” He looks at me and shrugs. “I have no clue. But I know that I’ve done everything humanly possible and a few things that shouldn’t be. I survived getting stabbed, I bribed every politician in the state, I dropped a bag of cash on the mayor’s desk… and I feel in love with you.”

  I stop in my tracks and stare at him. He’s just smiling at me like he didn’t just drop the biggest bomb on me possible.

  “You… what?”

  “Fell in love with you, little Ruby.” He grins and shrugs a little like it’s no big deal. “Didn’t even realize it was happening until it happened. And now, I can’t help it.”

  “You love me,” I whisper, more to myself than to him.

  “I hope that’s okay.”

  I suddenly can’t help it. I press myself against him, despite the slight wince he can’t quite hide, and I kiss him hard.

  We linger there on the sidewalk, people passing us by like nothing is happening. I kiss him and taste him and let it finally break inside of me.

  “I fell in love with you too,” I say, breathless, cheeks bright red.

  “So you did,” he says, hand on my cheek, body so close. “What do we do with that?”

  “I don’t know,” I say, laughing stupidly. The giggles bubble up from inside of me. “We’re probably going to die, right?”

  “Probably,” he agrees.

  “We might as well just… enjoy it, I guess.”

  He smiles and kisses me again. God, it feels good.

  I love him. I fell in love with him almost instantly the moment he caught me sleeping on his couch and decided to show me his paintings. I fell harder when he saved my life in the office, again at his lake house, again at our wedding… again during our wedding night…

  Over and over, I fell in love with him.

  And now, hearing it out loud, it all finally makes sense. It just feels right, clicked into place.

  I kiss him back and we linger in each other’s arms until we finally start walking back to the apartment.

  “What do you want to do with our last days on earth?” he asks me.

  “I don’t know,” I say. “We’re already married, so that rules that out.”

  He laughs. “You’d want to get married if we weren’t already?”

  “Sure. I mean, I want to die with my husband, not some random ass guy.”

  “I’m your boss.”

  “And my Daddy.”

  He grins at me and pulls me close against him, arm around my shoulders.

  “Damn right.”

  “So what should we do?”

  “Let’s go back to the apartment, turn off the lights, and not leave bed for at least a day.”

  “Sounds good to me. Think you can handle it?”

  “Ruby, if my stitches rip open, we’ll just call the doctor again. But I’m not worried.”

  “Good.” I laugh stupidly and he laughs with me.

  It’s the laughter of the condemned, the damned. It’s the laughter you scream out at the top of a mountain in front of a mortal, impossible, insane drop down into the valley floor. It’s laughter into the void.

  It’s the best kind of laughter. It bubbles up and we both can’t help it. We’re stupid with laughter, with love, with the pure simple realization that we’ve found each other in this insane, huge, unlikely world, and yet found each other in this crazy situation that neither of us is going to get out of alive.

  And yet we’re laughing because it feels so good to be with each other and it feels so good to finally, finally, say it out loud.

  We get back to the apartment, practically breathless with laughter. He’s grinning at me as he walks over to the refrigerator and takes out a bottle of champagne.

  “I was saving this for when we survived this whole thing, but fuck it,” he says, pouring two glasses.

  “I’d better take it easy. You know, in case I’m pregnant and we actually do survive.”

  “Good point.” He downs both glasses. “I’ll drink for you.”

  I laugh and kiss him. He pulls me against his body and lets the kiss linger. My blood pulses in my veins and I can feel the heat growing between my legs as I kiss him, kiss my love, my husband.

  Before he can drag me off like a caveman to his bedroom, his phone starts ringing. He glances at it and hesitates just a second.

  “Normally, I’d ignore it, but…”

  “Who?” I ask simply.

  “John.”

  “Better take it then.”

  He pauses before answering. He puts it on speaker and gives me a look.

  “John,” he says. “How are you?”

  “Hello, Knox.” John’s voice is flat and emotionless. “Good news.”

  Knox raises an eyebrow at me. “Tell me.”

  “You did good with my guy in Cambodia, so I decided to give you a little extra boost. Turns out, that helped more than I had predicted.”

  “Tell me what you’re trying to say,” Knox presses.

  “The mayor brought the proposal up to the city planners this morning and it looks like they’re going to approve it. Apparently, there was a huge social media movement over the last few days that they couldn’t help but notice. I think your timing is perfect.”

  Knox looks at me, completely shocked. “It wasn’t my timing at all, was it?”

  “Nope,” John says and I swear there’s a little smile in his voice. “Not at all. I think you’re going to be okay, Knox.”

  “Which means we’ll have more business together, I think.”

  “It means that,” John confirms. “Good luck.”

  He cuts off the call and Knox stares down at the counter before grinning at me. He pours two glasses again and this time I t
ake one of them.

  We toast. “To living,” he says. “Still love me?”

  “Still love you.”

  “I know.”

  We kiss, drink, and finally he drags me off to his room.

  Maybe we’re really going to get through this in the end. Maybe we really do have a future together. Babies, marriage, life beyond death… maybe we really do get it all.

  For me, for now, I’m not thinking about it. I don’t care. I just want him, in his room, his body against mine, deep between my legs.

  My love, my husband, my Daddy. He’ll take care of me, I know he will.

  I can’t imagine more.

  20

  Ruby

  Two Years Later

  The lights are bright, almost overwhelming, and it’s louder than I thought it would be. Andy clings to my leg, blinking and hiding back away from the sound.

  “It’s okay, sweetie,” I say, scooping the little boy up into my arms. He keeps staring straight ahead, at the glowing, glittering machines making their tinkling, bumbling noise.

  He says something that sounds like “loud” and I laugh, nuzzling against him.

  “I know, honey. But it’ll be okay. Let’s go find Daddy, okay?”

  “Dada!”

  I carry Andy deeper into the casino, floating through the well-dressed crowd, heading through the fields of slot machines.

  The ceiling is high and barely visible and the carpet is plush and red with blue and black patterns. It’s as nondescript and boring as possible, which I guess is the point. The only things that look interesting at all are the games.

  It’s opening night and people are going wild. There are lines to the machines, and although everyone’s well dressed, it looks like a herd trying to slake their thirst. I can’t help but shake my head at them. These are the rich and the elite of the city, invited here for this special grand opening ceremony, and yet they act like they can’t help themselves.

  I know they can’t, honestly. After being with Knox these last two years, I know what this group is like.

  He showed me the dark side already, and it only gets darker.

  “Mama,” Andy says, craning his neck. “Dada!”

  I follow his gaze and spot Knox standing with a group of people surrounding him. He’s telling a story, and by his posture and the gestures he’s making, I know the story.