Revenants

by Lee Elisabeth

  I feel like a jerk. And a nosy one, at that. "Meredith, I'm sorry if I brought up bad memories with that question."

  "What makes you think you did?"

  "I don't know. You looked.....hurt, I guess, right before you answered."

  She shakes her head. "Getting rid of him was the best day of my life."

  And with that she walks ahead of me...as is her custom after answering my one allowed question per day...leaving me alone to fill in the blanks of her complicated story.

  * * *

  Chloe

  Daniel and Meredith brought food back from the gas station.

  And it's not beans.

  Hallelujah.

  I watch Daniel place their spoils of war on the table in front of us; eight small bags of chips, five cans of potted sausages, three bags of pork rinds, ten beef jerky sticks, six candy bars, and four 2-liter sodas.

  "How did you carry all of this?" I ask.

  Meredith drops into a small curtsy. "All in a day's work, miss."

  "I think I love you," I say, smiling. "And a candy bar! I thought I'd never see one of these again."

  "Chloe always did have a sweet tooth," Daniel says, laughing.

  I pat my hips playfully. "I didn't get these hips from eating salads all the time."

  Meredith rolls her eyes. "Whatever, hips. I think I passed your pant size when I turned thirteen."

  "And you literally ate a salad every day," Daniel adds. "Well, you know, before you went on a steady diet of beans."

  I groan. "Don't even say that word. I don't want to think about beans of any variety. Not today."

  Lane laughs. "Well, then you're not gonna want to hear the menu for tonight."

  "I'll dine on this candy bar and a bag of chips, thank you."

  "Now Yahweh will give you meat to eat in the evening, and in the morning bread to satisfy you, because Yahweh hears your murmurings," Meredith says.

  "Yeah, yeah...I get it. The Lord is good. I know."

  She shrugs. "Ask and you shall receive, right?"

  "Something like that."

  "Maybe you'll start believing in miracles again now," Kelli adds.

  I smile at the young girl. "Maybe so, Kelli."

  She nods, seemingly pleased by my answer.

  "I hope you mean that," Meredith says, giving me that knowing look of hers.

  "Why's that?" I ask.

  "Because one day, your faith is going to be all you have left."

  I feel a familiar twinge of guilt tightening around my heart. I'm so fickle. Of course I would be willing to start believing again when things are going well...now, when I have a roof over my head, a hot shower to stand under, and a soft bed to sleep in. What happens when the winds of fate change? Will I forsake Him again?

  "What's wrong?" Meredith asks, sensing the change in my mood.

  "I feel guilty for my lack of faith," I admit.

  "Well, that's what's so great about God's love," Meredith says. "He never seems to hold our failings against us."

  "Then why is all this happening?" I ask, gesturing to the world outside the lobby.

  Meredith's face blanches, but she hides it...quickly, the way she always does...with a hardness masking her otherwise tortured expression. "He never said there wouldn't be consequences for our sins," she says.

  She leaves the room before I can respond. Daniel watches her disappear around the corner. I wonder what he's thinking, and how deep his affection is for her. Judging by the way his eyes follow her I would say very deep. I want to warn my brother to cut his losses now. Run the other way before the feelings get worse. I want to shake him, make him see that falling in love with Meredith is reckless...we only lose the ones we love.

  But, I don't. That's a lesson he'll have to learn on his own.

  Later that night, Kelli and Lane sit at their table in the motel lobby, playing yet another hand of cards. "Who's winning?" I ask as I sit down.

  Lane looks at me and winks. "Who do you think?"

  I look at Kelli. "You're going to let him talk smack like that?"

  She laughs and leans close to me, whispering, "Don't worry, I'm hustlin' him."

  Lane smiles. "Oh yeah, well hustle this....full house," he says, laying his cards on the table.

  Kelli smiles sweetly. "A full house is nice, Lane....but it doesn't beat a royal flush," she says, elaborately fanning her cards out on the table.

  I laugh as she takes the wagered candy bar off the table. Lane mutters something about her cheating, and she makes a show of unwrapping the bar slowly, just to tease him.

  I like watching them. They remind me what it was like to be young. Even though their teenage years look different than mine did, they still have that air of innocence mixed with a false sense of security. Like they can be at home anywhere, even an old motel lobby, in the middle of the Apocalypse.

  I miss those carefree days.

  Meredith comes into the lobby. "What's doing?" she asks, sitting down beside me.

  I gesture to Kelli, who's eating the candy bar. "Lane just lost poker in the worst possible way," I say, smiling.

  Meredith cringes playfully. "Oh man, not the candy bar. You should never bet that high."

  Lane throws his hands up in the air, and says, "I had a full house! I thought it was a sure thing."

  Kelli laughs and breaks the bar in half. "Here....but only because I like you," she says, handing him half of the candy bar.

  I can't help but envy their ability to enjoy something sweet...however fleeting.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Daniel

  I'm about to lay down for the night when I hear a soft knock on the door. I open it to find Lane standing outside, fidgeting.

  "Can I talk to you?"

  "Sure, man. What's up?" I ask, opening the door wider so he can come inside.

  He sits down at the small table in my room. He seems nervous, which is strange, because Lane is usually pretty laid back.

  "I wanted to ask you....well..." He runs a hand through his hair. "I mean, is it crazy to like someone when we're probably all gonna be dead soon, anyway?" he finally asks.

  Ah, so that's what this is about.

  "Kelli?" I ask.

  He nods.

  "If you like someone, you should let them know....sooner rather than later," I add.

  "It's just...it's weird, you know. I'm 19, she's 15. I feel like that's still illegal."

  I look around the room. "You see any cops here?"

  "Well, no, but..."

  "Lane," I say, interrupting him, "the world ended a few months ago. The only law now is surviving. If you like Kelli, tell her." I pause for a minute, then add, "Just...be smart, okay? We don't need any babies running around."

  He blushes a fierce shade of red. "What? No, man, it's not like that. I just like being with her. She makes me laugh."

  "Then you should tell her."

  He thanks me, then leaves. As he walks out, Meredith walks in, smiling at Lane as he passes. She shuts the door and sits down on the bed. "Is he finally going to tell her how he feels?" she asks.

  "How do you always know these things? Let me guess...you're clairvoyant, too."

  "No. I just pay attention. If you study people long enough, they tell you their story without realizing they're telling it."

  "Is that what I should do with you?" I ask, smiling.

  She shakes her head. "You'd never be able to study me long enough to figure out my story."

  I stop smiling.

  "Oh, no," she teases. "You must have thought of a question."

  I don't answer.

  "But if I remember correctly," she continues, "you've already exhausted your one question for today, so......"

  I shake my head.

  She raises an eyebrow. "What?"

  "I don't want to interrogate you tonight, Meredith. I just want to enjoy these last few minutes before we go to sleep." I look at her for a moment, my heart pounding in my chest. I wonder if she hears it. I want to tell her that I t
hink she's beautiful...I want to tell her I've never wanted anyone so badly...but I don't say anything, because I'm afraid, so I settle for, "Tell me something about yourself you would tell anyone. Something safe. Something funny."

  She seems caught off-guard, but quickly recovers. "Okay," she says, thinking, "something funny. Let's see...."

  "There must be something."

  "I'm thinking!" she says, smiling. "Okay. So, when I was a little girl, my mom had this expensive tea set. She was always like, 'Don't touch this tea set, Mere!', and I was always like, 'I've got to find some way to get my hands on that tea set'. So one day, while she was at work, I had a tea party with it...."

  "No!" I interrupt in mock horror.

  She laughs. "Don't interrupt. Anyway, I was only ten minutes into the tea party when something startled me and I dropped one of the tea cups. It shattered."

  "What happened when your mom found out?"

  "I told her my sister did it."

  "You didn't."

  "I did. Sally got grounded for a week, and a spanking for denying she did it in the first place."

  "That's so mean. Did your mom ever find out it was you?"

  She shrugs. "I mean, no....I wasn't going to tell on myself. And I told Sally if she ever said anything, I'd flush her favorite bracelet down the toilet."

  I sit there for a minute, then say, "That wasn't really a funny story, you know."

  "No, I guess not, but it was the only thing that came to mind," she says, smiling. "My sister was always a real brat, if it makes you feel any better."

  I roll my eyes. "Well, what a relief. And here I thought you were just being a bully."

  She playfully bumps my shoulder with her own. "Whatever."

  "I thought you said you weren't always a liar," I tease.

  She winks, and says, "Maybe I lied about that, too."

  With that, she lays back on the bed and goes to sleep. I sit upright for a moment, not sure what to do. Should I lie down beside her? Is that crossing a line? Or, was her laying down an invitation? Should I sleep on the hard chair in the corner of the room? On the floor? While I'm mulling over the endless scenarios, she begins snoring softly, oblivious to anything I might be struggling with, mentally or physically.

  I decide I'm being stupid, and overthinking the entire situation. This isn't a big deal. We're just two adults, sharing a bed in a motel we just happened to discover while running from the dead. Simple, right? I lean back, until I'm laying beside her in the bed. I don't dare disturb her, because she's sleeping so peacefully. She must be exhausted. I am too, but it's several hours before I can turn my mind off long enough to sleep.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Daniel

  Lane and Kelli are standing at the edge of the parking lot, talking. He must be telling her how he feels about her. Took long enough. It's been four nights since he came to my room asking my opinion on the matter. I take a sip of coffee, and nod hello to Chloe as she sits down at the table with me. She reaches for the coffee pot and pours a large cup for herself. Rubbing her eyes, she yawns and takes a slow sip.

  She looks out the window, in the direction of the two teens. "Is he finally gonna tell her how he feels?" she asks.

  I shrug. "No telling. He may get cold feet...again."

  "Well, I'm rooting for him. Someone in this group should get a happy ending."

  "You're not happy?"

  She sets the cup down on the table. "Oh, I'm just peachy."

  I take another sip of hot coffee. "Well, at least we have coffee. That's something to be happy about."

  A few minutes later, Kelli smiles and reaches for Lane's hand. Chloe looks at me. "Maybe this is a sign of better things to come our way."

  "I'd like to believe so."

  She holds her coffee cup in the air.

  "What are we toasting?"

  She rolls her eyes. "Just raise your cup, doofus."

  I raise my cup into the air and she taps it lightly with hers. "To remembering what being in love used to feel like," she says.

  I smile. "To remembering."

  I take a drink of coffee and think about Meredith. I don't need a teenage love story to remind me what being in love feels like. My heart remembers last night just fine.

  * * *

  Chloe

  Kelli is blushing and grinning like a fool. "And then he said he thought I was the prettiest girl he had ever met...even before the world ended...and that I seemed so much more mature than even girls his own age," she gushes.

  Meredith pretends to fan herself. "How romantic."

  Kelli swats her arm playfully. "Stop! I know it might seem silly to y'all, but that's because y'all are like, old and stuff," she says, laughing.

  "Well, thanks loads," Meredith responds dryly.

  I laugh. "She has a point, Meredith. We're practically ancient."

  Kelli tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, and asks, "So, what should I do? I've never dated an older guy before."

  "I think you should enjoy this time, and not think too much about it. Just let things happen naturally," I advise.

  Meredith nods. "I agree. Let whatever happens, happen. Except sex," she adds quickly. "You're not on birth control, and there's no way we're raising a baby out here."

  Kelli blushes three shades of red. "Oh gosh, no. I'm definitely not ready for that."

  "Well, as old as I am," I say with a smile, "I do remember being sixteen. My only advice is don't let your hormones talk you into doing anything stupid."

  "I won't. Thanks, girls. I don't know what I would do without you guys."

  She pulls us into a lopsided group hug, then runs off to find Lane.

  "Have you ever been in love?" Meredith asks once we're alone.

  "Yes....I mean, I think so?"

  She laughs. "If you're not sure, you weren't in love. What was his name?"

  "Scott. We started dating our junior year of high school. I think he was going to ask me to marry him. But then...." I trail off.

  "The world died," she finishes for me.

  I nod.

  "Do you think that's what you really wanted? To get married, I mean." she asks.

  I shrug. "Feelings are such weird little things, you know. I did...do...love Scott. Was I in love with him? I don't know. But, I didn't have any other guys knocking down my door, so..."

  "Wow. Sounds like the Apocalypse happened just in time."

  "Meredith!"

  "No, I mean it. It saved you from marrying someone just for the sake of getting married. That's the worst thing you could do, trust me."

  She has a point. I don't even remember what it was about Scott that made me think we belonged together, other than we were comfortable with each other. I was attracted to him, but we didn't have a ton of chemistry...especially after I heard the rumors about him and Molly Latham. It's hard to give yourself to someone when you're worried they might be wishing they were with something else. So, yeah, Meredith is right...the end of the world probably saved me from ruining my life.

  I look back at Meredith and ask, "Are you speaking from experience?"

  "We're not talking about me."

  And with that, she leaves me sitting in the motel lobby, alone, thinking of missed engagements and mistakes I never got the chance to make...and wondering how long Meredith has been nursing her own broken heart.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Chloe

  Nothing good lasts.

  Ever.

  I look at the man holding a gun to Lane's head. I'm too scared to move or say anything. Luckily, Daniel seems to still have his wits about him. Somewhere, seemingly far away, I hear him ask, "What do you want from us?"

  The man has dark, greasy hair. It's long, covering his ears. He's fat and out of shape...but he's got a gun, so we're no threat to him. Dad's gun is tucked into my waistband. I debate reaching for it, but I'm not confident I could pull it out, aim, and actually hit the man before he'd kill Lane. So I leave it where it is, and pray we can reason our way out of
this.

  The man spits onto the pavement; a string of saliva catches in his beard. "We want this motel," he says, sizing Daniel up, "and everything in it."

  Daniel holds up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "It's okay. We'll leave, just...just please, let our friend go. Then we'll get our things and be on our way."

  A whimper of fear escapes Kelli's lips. At least, I think it's Kelli. I doubt Meredith would show such blatant emotion.

  The man shoves the gun against Lane's temple. "Your things? Boy, didn't you hear me? I said we're taking everything...including your things."

  Daniel pauses a minute, then says, "We don't have much. Can't we just get our packs, then...."

  A second voice interrupts, cutting through the air like a knife. "No deal. You'll leave with whatever you're wearing on your backs, or you can die. Those are your options."

  The man speaking approaches us from behind. He's just as dirty as his friend, though not as large. He's carrying a shotgun in his filthy hands.

  I hear Kelli ask, "Why are you doing this?" and Daniel say, "Please, let's be reasonable."

  Everything slows down; dragging its feet like some bitter dream.

  "Time’s up," the fat man says, then squeezes the trigger.