Revenants

by Lee Elisabeth

  My heart aches for her, but I can't think of anything profound to say, so I settle for, "You can't run away from who you are. None of us can."

  "No, I guess not."

  "But that doesn't mean you're not fine just the way you are," I say. "It doesn't mean people don't care about you," I add softly.

  She looks at me with an expression that nearly upends me. A combination of vulnerability and desire that mirrors what I feel in my own heart. I reach out, slowly, and cup her cheek in the palm of my hand. I bring her closer to me.

  She puts her hands on my chest to stop me. "Daniel, wait. There's something I need to tell you. I'm not..."

  "Shh," I say, slowly pressing my lips against hers.

  It's not like any kiss I've ever had. Not since I became a man, anyway. It's a shy kiss; one filled with nervous anticipation, followed closely by a hunger different than the one we've suffered the past few months. After a moment, the kiss deepens, becomes more certain, and I realize I'm losing myself in her touch.

  I slip my hand into her auburn hair, and pull her closer. She leans into me, her hands still on my chest, clutching the fabric of my shirt. I can feel the warmth of the campfire on my skin, but it's cold compared to the fire raging through my body. The rest of the world disappears. All that remains is us and this magnificent kiss. Too soon, Meredith pulls away, and presses her fingertips against her lips.

  I can almost imagine the pink blush spreading across her cheeks.

  "I hope that was okay," I say, reaching for her hand.

  She smiles. "The kiss?"

  "No, I know the kiss was okay. I'm an incredible kisser."

  She laughs and hits my arm playfully. "Don't be cocky."

  "Seriously, though. I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable."

  She smiles again. "You did...but in a good way."

  She leans in to kiss me again, but it's just a quick peck, followed by a soft, "Goodnight, Daniel," then she walks over to her sleeping bag and lays down.

  My heart is racing. I don't know what scares me more....knowing I'm living in the Apocalypse, or knowing I'm falling for Meredith.

  They're both pretty terrifying.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Chloe

  "How's the stomach this morning?"

  I smile at Wayne. "Much better. Thank you," I say, patting my belly.

  He shrugs. "Luckily I don't need medicine much....got a high pain tolerance."

  "I wish I was tough. I'm a total weenie."

  He lights a cigarette. "Nah, you're stronger'n you give yourself credit for."

  "Oh yeah, what makes you think that?"

  He takes a drag off the cigarette, then says, "You're still alive, ain't you?"

  I spend the next few minutes thinking about what Wayne just said. I've never thought about it that way before, but he has a point...I am still alive. That's gotta count for something, right? I actually feel pretty proud of myself for a minute or two. But then, just as quickly, I find myself thinking...yeah, I may be alive, but for how much longer?

  * * *

  Daniel

  We've been walking for an hour, but it feels longer than that; maybe because I'm walking beside Meredith, and we still haven't talked about what happened last night.

  And maybe because I want to kiss her again.

  "Man, it's hot today," I say.

  "Yep."

  "So....about last night...."

  "Daniel, stop," Meredith interrupts. "Last night was a mistake. I'm not trying to further complicate an already extremely complicated situation."

  I do a mental double-take. Did she really just say that?

  This is not what I expected. I've been turned down before...don't get me wrong...but I didn't think I'd get turned down this time. Not after last night. I felt like we connected. That kiss didn't feel like a mistake to me, but here she is, saying it was. She may as well have picked up a large stick and whacked me right in the gut.

  A deep, ugly scarlet pushes its way across my tanned face. I clear my throat. "I...wow...I wasn't expecting that. It didn't feel like a mistake to me."

  She refuses to meet my eyes. "Yeah, well, you weren't thinking clearly. You don't like me....you don't even trust me, remember?"

  I reach for her hand, but she pulls it away. I take a deep breath, and let it out slowly, trying to figure out what to do next. "Meredith, I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't trust you. I shouldn't have done that," I say.

  She snorts. "It's fine. You were right not to trust me. I've been lying to you since we met. That's the whole point to this stupid game we've been playing."

  "But I don't think that, Meredith. Not anymore. I care about you."

  "Well, I don't care about you, Daniel," she says, rolling her eyes. "Not like that, anyway. We're barely even friends."

  She speeds up, leaving me to wonder what just happened. I thought we had become friends. Slowly, sure...but friends, nonetheless. I thought we shared something special last night. I thought it mattered. Did I misread the situation so badly?

  I walk faster, catching up to her. "I thought of my question for today."

  She leans her head back and groans. "What is it, Daniel?"

  I grab her arm, forcing her to look at me. I stare into her pale green eyes, searching for an ounce of truth in them, but they're as guarded as they ever were.

  "Well?" she asks, impatiently.

  "Did you feel anything last night? When we kissed. Anything at all?" I ask.

  She looks at me for a long moment before saying, "No, Daniel. I didn't feel a thing."

  This time when she walks off, I don't try to stop her.

  * * *

  Chloe

  I'm chatting with Wayne about poisonous plants when I hear Daniel and Meredith arguing behind us. I stop mid-sentence, wondering if I should go back there and break it up.

  "Keep moving, Chloe," Wayne says.

  I gesture behind us. "Maybe I can help. They've been getting along so well lately...I don't want it to go back to the way it used to be."

  He shakes his head. "Some things people have to work out for themselves. This is one of 'em."

  I look at them again. They've stopped walking. It's obvious by Meredith's body language she only stopped because Daniel made her. Daniel's face is red, but Meredith is the one who looks like she just got slapped.

  "What do you think they're fighting about?" I ask.

  Wayne lights a bent cigarette and shrugs. Great. Another cigarette. At the rate he's going, I'll have second-hand lung cancer by the time we get to Asheville.

  "You know, you really shouldn't smoke so much," I say.

  He looks down at the cigarette, then back at me. "Why? They might kill me?"

  "Well....yeah."

  He laughs. "They'll have to stand in line."

  I roll my eyes. "Wayne, seriously....how are you going to feel if you survive the Apocalypse only to die from lung cancer?"

  "I guess I'll feel glad I didn't die as some Rev's dinner."

  He ashes the cigarette and walks ahead of me. I know him well enough now to know that he doesn't intend for me to follow him. As he gets closer to the trees, I call out, "Hey, where are you going?"

  "Scouting a place for tonight. Keep walking. I'll catch up later," he says before disappearing into the woods.

  "Where's he off to?" Meredith asks, coming up beside me.

  "Scouting. Are y'all okay?" I ask. "Look, if Daniel said something stupid, let me go ahead and apologize on his behalf."

  Meredith shakes her head sadly. "No. This time I was the one who said something stupid."

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Chloe

  Daniel, Meredith and I stop once the heat gets too bad to continue. Wayne still isn't back from whatever it is he does while scouting, so it's not hurting anything to rest for a bit. I idly swat at a gnat that refuses to leave me alone. Between the ever-present insects, and the never-ending droplets of sweat pouring down my face, I'm in pure misery. I slip off my shoes, and
remove my socks. My feet smell bad, but it feels good to have the sun on my toes.

  What I wouldn't give for a foot massage right now.

  Thinking about that makes me think of Kelli, and that day at the farmhouse that now seems so long ago, and thinking about her makes me think of Lane, and thinking about both of them makes me feel as rotten as the world smells these days.

  I miss them. I miss everything.

  Daniel is grumbling about something. I use my hand to shield my eyes from the sun. "What is it now?"

  He rolls his eyes. "Don't act like you never complain about anything, Miss I-don't-want-to-eat-beans-again."

  I sit straighter, irritated. "Oh, I'm sorry, Daniel. I forgot you were perfect."

  "Yeah, you forget a lot of things."

  "Whatever. Let me know when you're off your period, okay?"

  We ignore each other for the next thirty minutes. I feel like I'm thirteen all over again, and he just kicked me out of his bedroom. That usually happened whenever he had a bad day at school, or someone had hurt his feelings. I think back to the argument between him and Meredith....maybe that's what this is about. She must have said something to hurt him.

  Just then Wayne pops out of the woods, saying, "I found a spot."

  Daniel and I look up.

  "What kind of spot?" I ask, curious.

  He shrugs. "Might be a place we could stay awhile."

  "We're not moving in anywhere, Wayne. We're still heading to Asheville. Our parents are there," Daniel reminds him.

  "Or they're not," Wayne counters.

  I push back against the sadness that creeps up in response to Wayne's words. They're truer than I want to believe. "Daniel, maybe we should at least go look at it," I say, looking at my brother.

  "And Asheville?" he asks, getting defensive.

  I shrug. "I could use a rest. Besides," I say, glancing at Wayne, "Wayne has a point. We're not even sure Mom and Dad are there anymore."

  Wayne nods. "Be ready to leave in ten."

  After he walks away, I turn to Daniel. "Daniel, I'm sorry. I...."

  The look of anger on his face stops me in my tracks. I close my mouth, so he can get whatever he's thinking off his chest. I don't have to wait long.

  "What, Chloe? All this time, we've been killing ourselves trying to get to Asheville to find Mom and Dad. Now you just want to give up because....because your feet hurt! Because you could use a break?"

  "Daniel, I....."

  He swats my hand away. "I don't want to hear it! You're not who I thought you were. You're giving up on our family because you're tired! Nice to know you'd go the distance for me!"

  "Daniel, stop yelling," Meredith interrupts. "You're going to attract things we don't want to attract," she says, emphasizing the last of her words with a look of warning.

  He turns on her, a look of blinding hatred in his eyes. "And what do you know about it? You don't care about anyone but yourself, Meredith! Not me. Not Chloe. Not even your husband. If he even exists!"

  Daniel stomps off to gather his things for the next leg of the trip. Wayne stands at the edge of the woods, probably wondering what led to the brief but incredibly uncomfortable argument between the three of us. Meredith's cheeks burn in shame.

  "Do I even want to know?" I ask.

  She shakes her head and wipes a tear away.

  "Look....for what it's worth, he didn't mean it. He's just mad at me and lashing out at everyone else because of it."

  She takes a deep breath, and nods. "Yeah, but some things are hard to forget."

  I sigh. "He's my brother. I have to forgive him.....eventually."

  "I don't," she says, then walks off to gather her things.

  Great. I've lost the majority of my real family to this diseased world, now even my fake family is fracturing. Nothing keeps in this new world.

  Nothing good ever lasts.

  * * *

  Daniel

  We're walking deeper into the woods, following Wayne to some elusive shelter. There's no sign of civilization anywhere. We may as well be on another planet...there's only miles and miles of green and trees and mosquitoes. I'm still angry we left the main road.

  Since when did Wayne start making decisions for the group?

  Since when did Chloe start listening to him instead of me?

  "So, what is this new spot you found?" I ask Wayne. I'm being a jerk, but I don't care.

  "An old single-wide trailer. Abandoned now. Prob'ly belonged to some dealer or bootlegger before the world went to pieces." He lights a cigarette, and says, "Anyway, most folks I knew with places like this usually had food and supplies nearby. Guns, too."

  "Guns?"

  He nods.

  "And you know this, how?"

  He just looks at me like I'm stupid.

  "Oh, right. And how many bootleggers did you know before the world ended?"

  He shrugs. "I knew a few. Most of their places had false floors they could use to escape if things got hot. Others were convinced something like this might happen one day, so they made preparations."

  "Preparations?"

  "Food and supplies. Water. Guns. You name it." He ashes the cigarette. "Just a bunch of conspiracy theorists."

  "How do you know it's abandoned?"

  "I poked around. No sign of anyone. Place is pretty trashed."

  I throw my hands up, frustrated. "Then why are we going there?"

  "You got a better plan, city boy?"

  We walk a few more minutes in silence. Finally I ask what's been on my mind since Bruce died. "Did you kill him?" I ask.

  His jaw clenches. I've offended him, but who haven't I offended today? Finally, he says, "Bruce got bit by a rattlesnake. And he died. End of story."

  I guess that's the story he's sticking to.

  "So, how much farther?"

  He stops walking and points straight ahead. "There. Now be quiet, and let me look around."

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Chloe

  "Come any closer, and I'll put a bullet in your head."

  We freeze, searching the trees around us, frantically trying to figure out where the voice is coming from. I see Wayne going for his gun.

  "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

  Wayne stops.

  "And while we're at it, how 'bout everybody raise their hands high in the air...for safety."

  We slowly raise our hands in the air. Like good children. My heart is pounding. We're going to die. This is it...the end...it's finally happening.

  Daniel looks around the woods. "Who's there? Show yourself!"

  "And give up my advantage? Don't think so, friend."

  The voice sounds close, but I can't figure out which direction it's coming from. The woods can be so disorienting when you're not accustomed to spending time in them.

  "What do you want?" Daniel asks. "You see we're traveling with women. We're no threat to you."

  I hear a short laugh, then the voice calls out, "Now, it looks a little different to me. I see two able-bodied women, and two men....one reaching for a gun. Seems pretty threatening to me."

  I'm not listening to him. Something else is on my mind, which seems crazy, considering we're all about to be murdered, but I'm irritated by Daniel's statement. Traveling with women? what's that supposed to mean? Traveling with women. Like we're just extra baggage...the weak links? I can only blame what I say next on a mixture of delirium, anger, and fear.

  Certainly not common sense.

  "What does Meredith and I being women have to do with anything?" I ask Daniel, throwing a look of pure contempt in his direction.

  Daniel looks at me, surprised. "What?"

  I lower my hands. "Yeah, last I checked, Meredith and I contribute just as much as you and Wayne do. Maybe more, since we also wash your dirty drawers every time we find a water source."

  Daniel's eyes widen in disbelief. "What...?"

  I put my hands on my hips, angry. "You heard me. Meredith and I cook, do laundry, help scout out places to s
leep. You name it, we do it," I say, listing the ways we contribute. "But you're going to use our quote-unquote weakness as a bargaining chip as soon as we come up on some crazy coward hiding in the woods."

  "Chloe, now is not the time for this," Daniel warns.

  "No, please continue," the stranger calls out. "This is definitely entertaining." I can almost hear the laughter in his voice, which infuriates me even more.

  I whirl around, looking in the direction I believe the voice is coming from. "And you, whoever you are....shut up! If you're gonna kill us, come out and do it already! I'm sick of your talking!"

  "Are you insane?" Daniel asks.

  Wayne doesn't take his eyes off the woods in front of us. "Dan, get this under control before things get hairy."

  I throw my hands up, over it. "Whatever! I'm sick of running scared from every crackhead who decides to attack us. So whoever you are, come on out and kill me so I can come back and eat your sorry butt for dinner!"

  There's a moment of tense silence, followed by the sound of light footsteps making a path through the woods. Wayne tenses, ready to fight whoever breaks through the trees. Daniel is still looking at me like I've lost my mind. Meredith tries to hide a smile behind her water bottle.

  Suddenly, a man appears. He's tall and lean...not in an emaciated way, but in a fit, athletic way. His dark brown hair is cropped close to his head, military style. I can't tell his eye color, because they're hidden behind large tactical sunglasses. He's wearing a form-fitting black t-shirt, and camouflage cargo pants, and GI combat boots; a utility belt and gun holster finish off his look. I notice a large assault rifle slung over his right shoulder. He stands there for a moment, taking us in, one by one. Finally, he looks at me and laughs. "Well, aren't you a breath of fresh air," he says.

  I roll my eyes. "Who are you supposed to be? Rambo?"