by Jenna Mindel
She pushed against his chest. “Whoa...wait—”
He froze, looking serious. “Don’t you think we’ve waited long enough and wasted enough time?”
She bit her lip. That was dangerous talk. Reckless even, considering their futures were so unsettled. Staring into his steady gray eyes, Monica decided she might need a little reckless. Especially now.
Throwing her arms around his neck, she answered Cash’s question the best way she knew how. By covering his lips with her own.
With a contented chuckle, he gave in and kissed her back. There was nothing tentative or forlorn or even regretful about this kiss. With the determination and grit of a marine on a mission, Cash kissed her thoroughly.
She had a feeling he wouldn’t apologize for this one, and she wouldn’t, either. Her knees gave out, but he held her upright by pressing her against his car, never breaking away.
He kissed her with abandon. Right there in the driveway.
In the distance she heard a horn, followed by someone giving them a catcall whistle.
Monica came to her senses and broke for air.
He still had her pinned against the driver’s side and his eyes glittered dangerously, sending a shiver through her. “I love you, Monica. That’s why I’m here. Now, let’s go inside.”
Her mouth opened, but nothing came out. The swirling sensation of his declaration made her dizzy with joy. He loved her! Like a dunce, she didn’t respond. She merely nodded and let him lead her by the hand through her front door.
Chapter Fourteen
Cash gave Monica an aggravated look when her front door opened at his touch. “Don’t you keep it locked?”
“Not always. This is Maple Springs, you know.” She sounded saucy, but gripped his hand as if holding on for dear life, or maybe balance.
He’d kissed her like a wild man, and he loved her befuddled expression because of it. He stepped inside the small bungalow that was Monica’s house. The warm light oak floors were barely covered by colored area rugs that led to two pink floral couches perpendicular to a large brick fireplace painted white. Looking around, he noted that she had a deft hand at decorating. Her place resembled something from one of those renovation shows he’d seen on TV.
They walked into a decidedly white kitchen with red accents before she finally let go of his hand. “Cash—”
He touched his index finger to her lips, cutting her off again. He had to get this out before she brought up objections she was bound to throw his way. “Monica, I’m leaving Saturday, but I want to go to this appointment with you. You need to know that I’ve got your back.”
Her beautiful brow furrowed. “I don’t want the military life and I definitely don’t want you worried about me when you’re deployed.”
Cash spread his arms wide and grinned. “Too late, baby. Even if you hadn’t told me about the cancer, after this weekend, I’d never get you out of my head. I want more than what we were. A lot more. I’ve been thinking about making some changes. Maybe it’s time to pull back behind the lines until I can retire.”
Her eyes filled with hope, then darkened with challenge. “I have an aggressive form of breast cancer. I might need a mastectomy.”
She’d never been one to mince words. That information sliced through him worse than the knife wound that had left him scarred across the gut. He could tell her that it didn’t matter, but that would be a lie. He hated the idea of her going under the knife, but whatever it took to keep her with him, he was all in.
He wanted her to understand that whatever she needed, it wouldn’t change how he’d love her. He tipped his head. “You see, I’ve always been a leg man—”
She punched his arm. “I’m serious.”
“I’m serious, too.” He sobered and quit teasing. “I’d rather you have surgery and live a long healthy life. One that includes me.”
Her eyes widened, but she remained silent.
He could tell she doubted his words, maybe even his sincerity. In hindsight, teasing her hadn’t been wise, so he went back in with big guns. “During this next deployment, if I lose a limb, will you feel differently about me? Will you walk away because of it?”
“No.” Her voice was firm and full of conviction but she still closed her eyes and clenched her fists as if trying to get control.
He cupped her chin, making her look at him. He didn’t like the dark circles under her eyes that spoke of restless nights. “I’m not walking away, either. No matter what.”
She stared at him for what felt like an eternity.
After that kiss, he had a clue as to what her feelings might be, but he could use some verbal encouragement about now, some kind of wave forward. He’d keep up a strong frontal assault until her defenses weakened. “I want to go with you to your doctor’s appointment.”
“I heard you the first time!” She actually snarled at him.
He yanked on her ponytail. “Then answer me already.”
“You’re crazy, you know that?”
He’d heard the catch in her voice and knew he’d weakened her resolve to keep him out of this. “Why? Because I finally admitted that I love you? What’s crazy is that it took me this long to man up and say something. Crazier still is that I let you leave that cabin without telling you, accepting that we had no future because of what-ifs. Neither of our futures is set, so what kind of rationale was that?”
Monica looked skeptical, so he kept going. “I want to be with you every step of the way. Video calls, texts, phone calls, you name it. Whatever it takes, Stork, I’m not leaving you to face this battle without me, and just so you know, I’m pretty good in a fight.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “But what if it’s not enough and the cancer comes back?”
That possibility seared hot and sharp. Thinking about how his sister-in-law had never once regretted her time with Cole, Cash experienced what she meant, deep down and with unwavering resolve. “After all the time we wasted, don’t you think we’re worth a shot at forever, for however long or short that might be?”
She sniffed, but tears dripped off her golden lashes and rolled down her cheek. “I’m scared.”
He brushed one away with his thumb, then slipped his arms loosely around her trim waist. “God knows we’re both scared, but He’s got this thing covered. He’s got us covered. The Lord stole death’s sting, remember? Since you left the cabin, I’ve been praying and digging in the Bible for something, anything that might bring me some peace, and it hit me. I finally realized that it’s not up to me to beat death. It’s up to me to trust in the One Who holds those keys.”
She finally smiled then. Really smiled. Her face shone with a brilliance he hadn’t seen all weekend. “I’ve loved you since I was twelve years old.”
He laughed and pulled her forehead down to rest against his. “Remember when you wanted to make the varsity basketball team?”
“You helped me with my foul shot.”
“Because you badgered me to. You never let me leave your house until I’d shot baskets with you. You never quit, Monica. Not once. And you made the team.” He brushed a strand of hair off her face along with another tear. “This will be the fight of your life, but you’re going to make the survivors team. We both are.”
He heard her take a deep breath. “My mom’s picking me up in less than two hours. Do you mind if she drives?”
“Not at all.” He could hold her then, comfort her if needed.
She pulled away from him. “I better go shower.”
He chuckled and waved at his nose, teasing her again. “Yeah, you should.”
Her cheeks turned red, but she grinned. “Have you had lunch yet?”
“No, but I’ll make something while you’re getting ready.”
She grabbed a towel from the hall closet, then turned and blew him a flirty kiss. “Make me some, too.”
“S
ure thing.” Cash laughed it off, but the look she gave him was like no adrenaline rush he’d ever experienced.
Life with Monica promised to be one exciting thrill ride. One that would last their whole lives together.
* * *
Later that evening Cash opened his car door for her, but Monica didn’t get in. “Can’t we cancel? I’d rather not go.”
Cash gave her a coaxing smile. “No, we’re not going to cancel. Your mom wants us to come for dinner. Your brothers and sisters will be there. Most of them, anyway.”
She dropped her head back and gazed at the sky. “That’s why I don’t want to go. Everybody’s going to want to know how it went today and—”
He kissed the end of her nose. “Because they love you and they’re rallying around you. Besides, this way you only have to say it all once.”
“You’ve got a point.” She knew he was right, and if she didn’t go, she’d have a slew of phone calls to deal with, especially from her two sisters.
With a sigh, she slipped into the passenger seat.
He buckled her in and kissed her quickly.
She rolled her eyes at his fussing. “I’m not fragile.”
“No. You’re a warrior and I’ve never been more proud of you.”
She swallowed hard and managed a rough sounding, “Thank you. I’m glad you were with me.”
“Me, too.” He caressed her cheek before shutting her door.
She watched as he circled the front of the car and tapped on the hood before climbing in the driver’s side. He buckled in, hit the ignition button and revved the engine. Having Cash by her side today had indeed given her courage. He’d heard what she’d heard—the answers to her many questions.
Although much depended on how she responded to chemo, Monica had decided on an aggressive approach. She’d start chemotherapy right away to hopefully shrink the tumor and kill the cancer cells. Even if the tumor diminished in size, she was still going for a mastectomy. She wanted to stop the disease in its tracks, since it hadn’t yet touched her lymph nodes. Removing all the tissue instead of just until a clean margin was reached seemed more reasonable in lessening the chances of cancer returning.
But it was still scary.
Cash drove the ten miles to her parents’ place in record time. He drove fast on the long stretch of back road, but she didn’t complain or bother to tell him to slow down. It was daylight, making it easy to scour the roadsides and fields for any deer. Besides, it was fun flying over the dips and valleys in his Dodge, reminiscent of the hilly trail they’d taken with the side-by-sides.
Midway there, Cash held her hand.
She didn’t let go.
When they pulled up at her parents’ home they had to squeeze in between her siblings’ cars, which lined the driveway. It appeared they were the last ones to arrive. Squaring her shoulders, Monica got out and waited for Cash.
He came around and offered his hand again.
She took it, squeezing tightly as they ambled up the slate walkway to the front porch.
At the door, Cash stalled her. “I’m going to talk with your dad.”
“Cash...” She didn’t want to think about marriage until after her surgery. Not until she knew the cancer was gone.
He waved her objection away. “I just want to give him a heads-up and I’d rather do it in person. Nothing official.”
“I wish you’d wait.” She let go of his hand, opened the door and braced for impact.
Cash had always fit well into her family, but as a friend of her brothers. Tonight, it’d be pretty clear that he was her boyfriend.
“Hey, Cash!” Her brother Cam slapped him on the back. “What’s this I hear about you and Monica?”
“I finally got up the courage to ask her out.” Cash gave her a wink.
“I thought you were up at Uncle John’s cabin with your nephews, so when was the date?”
“Today, at the doctor’s office.” Cash gave him an insolent smirk.
“Memorable, I’m sure.” Cam nodded with approval, but he looked concerned.
Her whole family had those stress lines around their mouths, as if trying to show a strong front for her sake. Maybe her mom had given them all a heads-up. Maybe Monica wouldn’t have to rehash everything.
“’Bout time you asked her out. Come in and watch the game.” Her brother Darren shook Cash’s hand, then led him into the living room for a Lions preseason football game against the Cleveland Browns.
Monica watched him go, feeling like part of her was missing, though Cash had only gone into the next room. How was she going to stand it with him gone for months when she could barely let go of him now? Months on assignment where the possibility of him losing a limb or worse was all too real to think about. She would, though. Constantly.
Trust in the One who holds those keys.
That’s what Cash had told her. It was the realization he’d come to after digging into scripture. After all his losses, she owed it to him. Owed it to herself to do the same. It was time to really trust God. Placing her life and Cash’s in His hands regardless of the outcome was what faith was all about, wasn’t it?
Her sister Cat elbowed her in the side, drawing her attention. “Mom said he was a rock at your doctor’s appointment.”
Cat held her eleven-month-old daughter against her hip, so Monica reached out her hands for the baby. Opal giggled, going right into her arms.
Monica bounced her a couple times before answering her sister. “Yeah.”
“So, what’s going on with you two?”
“We’re together now.” Monica let that statement sink in and simmer.
Cat smiled. “That’s good. I think he always had his eye on you.”
That was news to Monica. Had she been the only one who didn’t understand why he’d somewhat avoided her, especially as she’d gotten older?
“How was it? The appointment.”
“Uphill battle ahead. I start chemo next week.”
Her sister’s eyes widened. Evidently their mom hadn’t clued everyone in. She’d left that up to Monica.
“Whatever it takes, we’ll get through this. I’m right in town, not far from you. We’ll do this,” Cat said.
“Thanks.” Monica had been wrong to think she’d face this disease alone.
How different things were now than when she’d first arrived at her uncle’s cabin. She not only had family support and Cash, but her oncology team had given her the link to an online support group for triple negative breast cancer patients, as well. She could get more information from women who were going through or had gone through what she faced. When it came time for surgery, she’d rally her troops and march forward.
Cash would most likely be gone for most of it, either in training exercises or deployed, but she knew he’d be with her in thoughts and prayer. She’d be with him the same way. She’d trust that God would see them both through whatever happened.
In the past, she’d always feared the worst for Cash and that had kept her from really loving him. Now, she’d love him with the hope that he’d return to her. That he’d make it back alive, that some other position might become available to him until he could eventually retire from the marines in five years.
That was a long way off yet. She didn’t want to daydream too far out. She’d focus on today, and tomorrow and then next week.
She wandered into the family room, where most everyone was watching the game while her mom and her brother Cam finished dinner preparations. Over the baby’s head Monica caught Cash’s gaze and held it.
He gave her a soft smile.
She returned it. Was he perhaps thinking about that game they’d played at the cabin, when she’d asked him for a pink peg? Would they have a baby girl or boy of their own one day? All unanswerable questions.
She wrestled back her thoughts. She was getting
way ahead of herself, nearly as bad as Cash wanting to clear a marriage proposal with her father before she’d even allow him to ask her. One step at a time; she’d meant that.
Cash got up and walked toward her. “Who’s this?”
“My niece, Opal.” Monica tipped her head as the toddler grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked.
Cash loosened the locks from Opal’s grip and smoothed them against her shoulder. “You look good with her.”
Monica scrunched her nose to get rid of the catch in her throat. She wanted kids and prayed she’d have them one day. With Cash.
God answers prayer.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He looked like he wanted to say something else, but stroked her hair instead and gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze as if reading her thoughts. “I’m going to get water. Want a glass?”
She shook her head. “Maybe later.”
He headed for the kitchen.
Monica stepped toward the family room and noticed her brothers and sisters staring at her. “What?”
“Nothing.” Her siblings responded together as if in a chorus. Then they played innocent, looking away as if they hadn’t just watched the brief exchange between her and Cash.
Sitting on the love seat, Monica let her squirming niece down and laughed when Opal ran, giggling the whole way, to Cat’s waiting arms. Looking up, Monica spotted Cash talking to her father.
Her stomach flipped.
So much for one step at time. He ought to know better than to make plans to win the war before fighting the next battle. She needed to focus first on getting well, and trust that God would align the rest of their lives. She’d have faith in His perfect timing over her own.
* * *
Seven months later, Monica adjusted the scarf covering her still rather bare head and picked up her tablet, clicked into video conferencing and waited for Cash to call, as he’d texted he would.
Suddenly, his clean-shaven face took up the whole screen. “Hey, Stork.”
“Hi.”
