Beguilement

by Lois McMaster Bujold

  Whit, his tone mock-thoughtful but his eyes bright with the excitement of battle, put in, “Actually, I’m not sure if he’s robbing cradles, or she’s robbing graves!”

  Which made Dag wince, but also offer a wry headshake and a low murmur of, “Good one, Whit.”

  It also made Fawn so furious that she threatened to serve Whit’s pie on his head instead of his plate, or better still his head on his plate instead of his pie, which drew Mama into the side fray to chide Fawn, so Whit won twice, and smirked fit to make Fawn explode. She hated how easily they all could make her feel and act twelve, then treat her so and feel justified about it; if they kept this up much longer, she was afraid they’d succeed in dropping her back to age two and screaming tantrums right on the floor. Which would do just about nothing for her cause. She caught her breath and sat again, simmering.

  “I hear Lakewalker men are landless, and do no work ‘cept maybe hunting,” said Fletch, determinedly returning to the attack. “If it’s Fawn’s portion you’re after, let me tell you, she gets no land.”

  “Do you think I could carry farm fields away in my saddlebags, Fletch?” said Dag mildly.

  “You could stuff in a couple o’ chickens, maybe,” Whit put in so helpfully.

  Dag’s eyes crinkled. “Be a bit noisy, don’t you think? Copperhead would take such offense. And picture the mess of eggs breaking in my gear.”

  Which made Whit snicker unwillingly in turn. Whit, Fawn decided, didn’t care which side he argued for, as long as he could stir the pot and keep it boiling. And he preened when folks laughed at his jokes. Dag had him half-wrapped around his thumb already.

  “So what do you want, eh?” asked Reed aggressively, frowning.

  Dag leaned back, face growing serious; and somehow, she was not sure how, commanding attention all around the table. It was as if he suddenly grew taller just sitting there. “Fletch brings up some very real concerns,” Dag said, with a nod of approval at Fawn’s eldest brother that puffed him up a bit despite himself. “As I understand it, if Fawn married a local lad, she would be due clothing, some furniture, animals, seed, tools, and a deal of labor to help set up her new house. Except for her personal gear, it’s not Lakewalker custom or expectation that I should have any of that. Nor could I use it. But neither should I like to see her deprived of her rights and due-share. I have an alternate plan for the puzzle.”

  Papa and Mama were both listening seriously too, as if they were all three speaking the same language of a sudden. “And what would that be, patroller?” said Papa, brows now pinched more in thought than in antagonism and not nearly as red in the face as he’d been at first.

  Dag tilted his head as if in thanks, incidentally emphasizing his permission to speak without interruptions from juniors. “I of course undertake to care for and protect Fawn for as long as I live. But it’s a plain fact that I don’t lead a safe life.” A slight, emphatic tick of his wrist cuff on the table edge was no accident, Fawn thought. “For now, I would have her leave her marriage portion here, intact, but defined—written out square in the family book and in the clerk’s record, witnessed just as is right. No man knows the hour of his shari—of his end. But if ever Fawn has to come back here, I would have it be as a real widow, not a grass one.” He tilted his head just enough toward Fawn that only she saw his slight wink, and she was as cheered by the wink as chilled by the words, so that her heart seemed to spin unanchored. “She—and her children, if any—would then have something to fall back on wholly separate from my fate.”

  Mama, face scrunched up in concentration, nodded thoughtfully at this.

  “In the hope that such a day would be long from now or never, it would have to be attested by Fletch and Clover as well. Can’t help thinking that Clover would be just as glad to put off paying out that due-share, with all the work she’ll have here starting up.”

  Fletch, opening his mouth, shut it abruptly, as it finally dawned that not only would he not be required to disgorge any family resources right away, but also that Fawn would be out of the house when he brought his new bride home. And only by the slightest brightening of Dag’s eyes did Fawn realize that Dag had hit Fletch precisely where he was aiming, and knew it.

  A blessed silence fell just long enough to finish consuming pie. Fawn was reattaching Dag’s hook before Whit wiped his lips, and said in brotherly bewilderment, “But why ever would you want to marry Fawn in the first place?”

  The tone of his voice alone threw Fawn back into a pit of unwelcome memories of youthful mockery. As if she were the most unlikely candidate for courtship in the whole of West Blue and for a hundred miles beyond in any direction, as if she were a cross between a village idiot and a freak of nature. What was that stupid phrase that had worked so well, repeatedly, to rile her up? Hey, Runt! You must have been drinking ugly juice this morning! And how those words had made her feel like it.

  “Need I say?” asked Dag calmly.

  “Yes!” said Fletch, in his stern I-am-so-paternal voice that made Fawn long to kick him even more than she longed to kick Whit, and even made Papa cock a bemused eyebrow at him.

  “Yeah, old man,” said Rush, scowling. Of all at the table but Nattie, the twins had said the least so far, but none of it had been favorable. “Give us three good reasons!”

  Dag’s eyelids lowered briefly in a cool yet strangely dangerous assent; but his side glance at Fawn felt like a caress after a beating. “Only that? Very well.” He held their attention while he appeared to think, deliberately clearing a silence in which to speak. “For the courage of her heart, which I saw face down the greatest horrors I know without breaking. For the high and hungry intelligence of her mind, which never stops asking questions, nor thinking about the answers. For the spark of her spirit, which could teach bonfires how to burn. That’s three. Enough for going on with.”

  He rose from the table, his hook hand briefly touching her shoulder. “All this is set beside me, and you ask me instead if I want dirt? I do not understand farmers.” He excused himself with a polite nod all around, and a murmured, “Evening, Aunt Nattie,” and strode out.

  Fawn wasn’t sure if she was more thrilled with his words or with his timing. He had indeed figured out the only way to get in the last word in a bunch of Bluefields—shoot it into the target and run.

  And whatever comment, mockery, or insult might have risen in his wake was undercut to shamed silence by the sound of Mama, weeping quietly into the apron clutched up to her face.

  The debate didn’t end there, naturally. It mostly broke up into smaller parts, as they took on family members in ones or twos, although Fawn gave Dag credit for trying for efficiency, that first night. The twins cornered her the next afternoon in the old barn, where she had gone to give Grace and Copperhead some treats and a good brushing.

  Rush leaned on the stall partition and spoke in a voice of disgust. “Fawn, that fellow is way too old for you. He’s older than Papa, and Papa’s older than rocks. And he’s all so banged up. If you were married, you’d have to look at that stump he hides, I bet. Or touch it, ew.”

  “I’ve seen it,” she said shortly, brushing bay hairs into the air in a cloud. “I help him with his arm harness, now his other arm’s broke.” And a great deal of other assistance that she was not inclined to bring to the twins’ attention. “You should see his poor gnarly feet if you want to see banged up.”

  Reed sat on a barrel of oats across the aisle with his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped around them, rocking uneasily. He said in a thin tone, “He’s a Lakewalker. He’s evil.”

  This brought Fawn’s irritated and vigorous brushing to an abrupt halt; Grace twitched her ears in protest. Fawn turned to stare. “No, he’s not. What are you going on about?”

  “They say Lakewalkers eat their own dead to make their sorcery. What if he makes you have to eat corpses? Or worse? What does he really want you for?”

  “His wife, Reed,” said Fawn with grim patience. “Is that so very hard to believe?”


  Reed’s voice hushed. “What if it’s to make magic?”

  He already does that would likely not be a useful answer. “What, are you afraid I’ll be made a human sacrifice? How sweet of you, Reed. Sort of.”

  Reed unfolded indignantly. “Don’t you laugh. It’s true. I saw a Lakewalker once who’d stopped to eat in the alehouse in West Blue. Sunny Sawman dared me to peek in her saddlebags. She had bones in them—human bones!”

  “Tell me, was she wearing her hair in a knot at the nape of her neck?”

  Reed stared. “How’d you know?”

  “You’re lucky you weren’t caught.”

  “I was. She took me and shook me and told me I’d be cursed if I ever touched anything of a Lakewalker’s again. She scowled so—she told me she’d catch and eat me!”

  Fawn’s brows drew down. “How old were you, again?”

  “Ten.”

  “Reed, for pity’s sake!” said Fawn in utter exasperation. “What would you tell a little boy you caught rifling your bags so as to scare him enough never to do it again? You’re just lucky you didn’t run into Dag’s aunt Mari—I bet she could have come up with a tall tale that would have made you pee yourself into the next week.” She was suddenly glad the sharing knife was stored with her own things, and wondered it she ought to warn Dag to watch his saddlebags.

  Reed looked a bit taken aback, as if this point had never before occurred to him, but he went on anyhow. “Fawn, those bones were real. They were fresh.”

  Fawn had no doubt of it. She also had no desire to start down some slippery slope of explanation with the twins, who would only ask her how she knew and badger her endlessly when her answers didn’t fit their notions. She finished brushing Grace’s flanks and turned her attention to her mane and forelock.

  Rush was still mired in the age difference. “It’s sickening to think of a fellow that old pawing you. What if he got you pregnant?”

  She was definitely not ready for that again so soon, but it was hardly a prospect that filled her with horror. Perhaps her and Dag’s future children, if any, wouldn’t be saddled with being so blasted short—now, there was a heartening thought. She smiled softly to herself as Grace nudged her velvety nose into her hand and whuffled.

  Rush went on, “He as much as said it was his plan to keep you till you were and then send you back to batten on us.”

  “Only if he dies, Rush!”

  “Yeah, well, how much longer can that be?”

  “And what does it matter to you anyhow? You and Reed are going to go west and break land. You won’t even be here.” She let herself out of the stall and latched the door.

  “On Fletch and Clover, then.”

  “You two are so, so, so”—she groped for a sufficient word—“howling stupid.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Rush shot back. “He claimed he wanted to marry you because you were smart, and how dumb do you have to be to believe that? You know it’s just so’s he can get his old hands on your young… self.”

  “Hand,” she corrected coldly. And how she missed its touch on her young… everything. Escape from West Blue, with or without a wedding, could not happen soon enough.

  Rush imitated upchucking, with realistic noises. Fawn supposed stabbing him with the pitchfork was out, but maybe she could at least whack him over the head with it… ? He added, “And how d’you think we’ll feel in front of our friends, stuck with that fellow in the family?”

  “Considering your friends, I can’t say as I’m real moved by that plea.”

  “I can’t see as you’ve much considered anybody but yourself, lately!”

  Reed said, more urgently and with a peculiar fearful tinge in his voice, “I see what it is. He’s magicked you up some way already, hasn’t he?”

  “I don’t want to hear another word out of you two.”

  “Or what?” said Rush. “You’ll never speak to us again?”

  “I’m working on that one,” snarled Fawn, and stalked out of the barn.

  Not all of the encounters were so aggravating. Fawn found an unexpected ally in Clover, with whom she’d never before much gotten along, and Clover brought Fletch right into line. The two girls were now in great charity with each other, feeling they could have been best friends forever and mistaken in all their prior judgments; Fletch was a bit dizzied. Dag made undaunted use of the news about his age to put himself rather above it all, and he mainly talked privately with Mama and Papa or Nattie. Whit continued to fire off barbs in blithe disregard for their aim, with the result that everybody grew furious with him except for Dag, who continued patient and determined.

  “I’ve dealt with dissolving patrols down to and including breaking up knife fights,” he assured Fawn at one especially distraught moment. “No one here’s tried to stab each other yet.”

  “It’s been a near thing,” Fawn growled.

  By supper of the second night after Dag’s proposal, Fawn’s parents had gone so far as to forbid discussion of the topic at the table, somewhat to Dag’s relief. It did render the meal uncharacteristically quiet. Dag thought his plan to extract Fawn gracefully from the clutches of her kin was not going as well as he’d hoped. Whether it took two days or twenty or two hundred, he was determined to persevere, but it was plain Fawn was close to melting in this family crucible, and her strain communicated itself to him, open to her ground as he could not help being.

  They’d taken too long on this journey already. Much more tarrying in West Blue, and he’d risk not beating Mari’s patrol back to Hickory Lake, and they would panic and think him missing again. And this time, he wouldn’t be dragging back in with another malice kill in his bag to buy forgiveness.

  Bluefields were falling to him, slowly. Fletch and Clover were openly agreeable, Nattie quietly agreeable, and Tril mainly just quiet. Whit didn’t greatly care, and Papa Bluefield still sat on the fence.

  Sorrel and Tril Bluefield reminded Dag a bit of patrol leaders, their heads stuffed with too many duties and details, too many people’s conflicting desires and needs. An unsolvable dilemma had a good chance of being invited to go away; he thought they might break simply because they could not afford to spend all their time and energy on one problem when so many more crowded upon them. Dag felt almost cruelly ruthless, but he steeled himself to keep up the blandishments and subtle pressure. Fawn took care of the unsubtle pressure.

  Reed and Rush remained a stubborn reservoir of resistance. Dag was not sure why, as neither would talk to him despite several friendly lures. Separately, he thought he might have gotten somewhere, but together they stayed locked in a knot of disapproval. Fawn, when he asked her for guidance into their objections, just went tight-lipped. But their more hotheaded remarks at least served to drive their papa further and faster toward conciliation than he would have gone on his own, if only from sheer embarrassment. Some opposition was its own worst enemy.

  Still… I should have liked to have made some real tent-brothers. Now, there was an unreasonable hope to flush from hiding. Dag frowned at himself. The gift of comradeship he’d once found with Kauneo’s brothers in Luthlia, so fine in the having, was all the more painful in the loss. Maybe it was better this way.

  After the postsupper chores the family usually gathered in the parlor, cooler than the kitchen, to share the lamplight. Dag had walked out with Fawn to feed scraps to the chickens; as they came through the kitchen door and into the central hall, he heard raised voices from the parlor. By this time Dag cringed at opening his groundsense in this raucous company, not a one of them capable of a decent veiling; but he did prick his ears to hear Reed’s voice, rumbling, hostile, and indistinct, and then Tril’s, raised in sharp fear: “Reed! Put that down! Fawn brought me that all the way from Glassforge!”

  Beside him, Fawn drew in her breath and hurried forward. Dag strode after, bracing himself.

  In the parlor, Reed and Rush had more or less cornered their parents. Tril was sitting beside the table that held the bright oil lamp, some sewing in her lap; Natt
ie sat across the room in the shadows with the drop spindle that was rarely out of her hands, now stilled. Whit crouched by Nattie, a spectator on the fringe, for once not heckling. Sorrel stood facing Reed, with Rush pacing nervously around them.

  Reed was holding up the glass bowl and declaiming, overdramatically in Dag’s view, “—sell your daughter to some bloody-handed corpse-eater for the sake of a piece of glass?”

  “Reed!” Fawn cried furiously, dashing forward. “You give that back! It’s not yours!”

  Dag thought it was sheer force of habit; when confronted with that familiar sisterly rise, Reed quite unthinkingly raised the bowl high out of Fawn’s hopping reach. At her enraged squeal, he tossed it to Rush, who just as unthinkingly caught it.

  Tears of fury sprang in Fawn’s eyes. “You two are just a pair of yard dogs—”

  “If you hadn’t dragged Useless here home with you—” Rush began defensively.

  Ah, yet another new nickname for himself, Dag realized. He was collecting quite a set of them here. But his own fraying temper was not nearly such a grating goad to him as Fawn’s humiliated helplessness.

  Sorrel glanced at his distraught wife, whose hands had flown to her mouth, and barked angrily, “Boys, that’s enough!” He strode forward and started to pull the bowl out of Rush’s grasp. Sorrel, unwilling to snatch, let go just as Rush, afraid to resist, did likewise.

  It was no one’s fault, exactly, or at least no one’s intention. Dag saw it coming as did Fawn, and a desolate little wail broke from her lips even before the bowl hit the wooden floor edge on and burst, falling into three large pieces and a sparkling spray of splinters.

  Everyone froze in equal horror. Whit opened his lips, looked around, and then closed them flat.

  Sorrel recovered his voice first, hoarse and low. “Whit, don’t move. You got no shoes on.”

  Tril cried, “Reed! Rush! How could you!” And began sobbing into her sewing.

  Their mother’s anger might have rolled right off the pair, Dag thought, but the genuine heartbreak in her voice seemed to cut them off at the knees. They both began incoherent apologies.