What Doesn't Kill You

by Iris Johansen

“Audition? What the hell do you mean?”

  “Venable says you have a job for me but that you’d have to approve my application. He said that if I could get beyond your security measures, you’d be inclined to look on me with favor.” He added softly, “And are you looking at me with favor, Catherine?”

  “No, I’m pissed at myself that you got in without my knowing.”

  “I was only in here for a minute or two. You must have heard something.”

  “Maybe.” She was not about to tell him that it was the scent of him that had woke her. That was too intimate, and she was trying to keep intimacy at bay with Gallo. It was ridiculous that she should feel so sensually intimate with a man with whom she had never slept. They had walked around the volcano and felt the heat but had been too wary to make that leap. At least, she had been wary. Gallo was more reckless, and Catherine wasn’t sure when or if he would make a move that threw both of them into that inferno.

  “You’re not asking me questions.” He tilted his head. “That’s not like you, Catherine. You’re always firing away until you know the complete layout of the land.”

  He was right. She was not behaving normally. He had caught her off guard, and the last thing that she wanted Gallo to know was that he had managed to shake her. Stop thinking about Gallo, the man, and think about what he had said. “I’ll try to remedy that. Venable? Audition? What job?”

  He chuckled. “That about covers it.” He got to his feet. “Suppose I call room service and get a pot of coffee, then we’ll talk?”

  “No, later.”

  He shook his head. “Actually, I was trying to be tactful. I was going to give you the chance to throw on some clothes while I made the call.” He added bluntly, “You’re naked under that robe, and you’re disturbing me. Unless you want to postpone the conversation indefinitely?”

  She could feel the blood rise to the surface of her skin beneath the terry robe. Her breasts were tautening, and her pulse was beginning to pound. She forced herself to shrug as she turned toward the bedroom. “Why didn’t you say something? It’s not like you to not be frank.” She moved across the room. “Okay, just give me broad strokes, and we’ll fill it in later.”

  He made a face. “Even that sounds sexy as hell to me at the moment.” He held up his hand. “I’m getting to it. You need someone who’s familiar with Nardik’s operation. Venable sent for me.” He turned toward the phone on the table beside him. “Now go get dressed.”

  “What do you—” But he’d picked up the phone and wasn’t looking at her. And she didn’t want to look at him right now either, she realized. He was wearing dark jeans that made his stomach and buttocks appear tighter and his thighs more powerful. She was suddenly as vividly aware of her nakedness beneath the robe as he appeared to be. She felt ready … and available. She needed to get away from Gallo to clear her head. “Ten minutes.”

  She closed the door behind her and drew a deep breath. That had not gone well. She had not had her usual calm composure, and Gallo would have had to be blind not to have noticed. Gallo was definitely not blind. He had been aware of the explosive tension between them from the very beginning and had not even tried to fight it. It was Catherine who had struggled and managed to keep things on an even keel. Besides the fact that she had never felt this intensity with any other man, he had a history that was disturbing, and she did not want to experience an all-consuming relationship with any man. She had Luke, and she had no right to concentrate on anyone but him right now.

  “I can feel you there, Catherine,” Gallo said softly from the other side of the door. “Remember when you were hunting me up in the woods in Wisconsin? During those weeks, we got to know everything about each other without a word or a touch. It was as if we were inside each other and could feel every muscle, know every thought. It’s still with me, Catherine. Is it still with you?”

  She didn’t answer. Of course, it was with her. It was during those weeks of hunting, of playing cat and mouse, that she had learned how dangerous he could be.

  “Let me in, Catherine. We’ll talk later.”

  Let him into the room, into her body …

  Talk? That wouldn’t happen.

  She drew a deep breath and pushed away from the door. The next moment, she was slamming the door of the bathroom behind her to make sure he would hear it. Not that it was necessary; he would be able to sense that she was no longer there.

  A shower and in ten minutes she’d be calm and able to function efficiently again. She stripped off the terry robe, and the air was cool on her flushed and still-taut breasts.

  Well, maybe fifteen.

  She turned on the shower and stepped under the spray. Yes, that was better. She was beginning to think with her head and not with her body. She felt a surge of resentment that he could disturb her so easily. She had never understood why Gallo should have such a powerful physical effect on her. She was only grateful that it was physical and not emotional.

  Perhaps she couldn’t entirely rule out emotion considering their history and who John Gallo was to the people she cared about. He had come into her life because he had been her friend’s, Eve Duncan’s, lover many years ago, when Eve was a teenager, and had been the father of Eve’s daughter, Bonnie. He had been an Army Ranger and a prisoner of war in North Korea and never learned about the birth of his daughter until years later. Nor that Bonnie had been kidnapped and presumed murdered by a serial killer when she was only seven. When Gallo had become a suspect in her murder in later years, Catherine had gone on the hunt for him as a service to her friend, Eve. It had been a dangerous and turbulent time even after she had discovered that Gallo had not killed his daughter.

  And now that he was here, life was beginning to be just as turbulent again, dammit. Why had Venable chosen to throw him back into her path?

  Because Venable had no idea that she would have this response when confronted by Gallo. He had only been on the periphery of their relationship before and had merely sought to give her what she needed. He had assumed she would be totally professional.

  And that’s exactly what she would be from that moment forward. This wasn’t about her or Gallo or anything that had happened in the past or might happen in the present.

  This was about keeping Hu Chang alive in any way she could.

  * * *

  “I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU come out of the bathroom.” Gallo was pouring coffee into a white china cup from the carafe on the table. “Black, right?”

  “You know it is.” She crossed the room and took the cup and saucer from him. “And you didn’t ‘think’ you heard me. You have hearing like a forest animal. I found that out when I was hunting you in those woods in Wisconsin. I’m very good at tracking prey, but you got away from me dozens of times just when I thought I had you.”

  “You are very good.” He was pouring himself a cup. “I learned about hunting and keeping alive in those woods as a boy, but you grew up here on the streets of Hong Kong. Very urban. How did you get that good, Catherine?”

  “After I became an agent, I taught myself. I knew it was a skill I needed, so I developed it.” She sat down on the chair by the window. “It was the professional thing to do.” She stared him in the eye. “And I am a professional, Gallo. I do my job and don’t let myself be distracted.”

  He nodded. “I thought you’d go on the attack when you had time to think. You’ve always been very defensive.” He sat down across from her. “Actually, I didn’t mean to try to seduce you the minute I walked into this suite. I just saw you and…” He shrugged. “I’ve always lived for the minute, and it’s hard to break the habit.” He smiled. “And I’ve been wanting you for too long. I’ve never hidden that from you.”

  No, and that awareness of his desire had only intensified her own.

  “I don’t care that you want to screw me,” she said bluntly. “That would only get in the way. And that’s not why you came here. You told me that Venable sent you because you knew about Nardik’s operations. How?”

/>   “I was sent to kill him several years ago when I was still working for Army Intelligence.”

  She stiffened. “A sanction?”

  “Whatever you want to call it. I thought about it more as stepping on a tarantula and grinding his guts out. Particularly after I did my research on him.” His lips tightened. “Ugly. Very ugly.”

  “You did research on him? How much?”

  “Plenty. Enough to get me close to him. About that time, I was being sent on suicide missions by that bastard, Colonel Queen. As you know, after those years in that North Korean prison, I wasn’t exactly sane, but I knew that much. I just didn’t care. But I wasn’t going to make it easy for anyone to take me down.”

  Easy? She had been told he had the skill and mad ferocity of one of those Viking berserkers. “Why were you sent to kill Nardik?”

  “What was the story they gave me about my so-called mission? Nardik was supposed to be involved in a drug deal with the Pakistan government that was going to enable them to bribe key military bigwigs in India to back off when they invaded one of the disputed northern provinces.” He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “And possession is everything.”

  “Why didn’t you go through with the killing? Evidently, Nardik is still hale and hearty.”

  “They yanked me out just before I was to go in and do the job. Queen told me that India had got wind of the plan, and Pakistan had backed out of the deal with Nardik as part of the resulting chain reaction.”

  “And you believed him?”

  “Not particularly. But it didn’t matter. There was always another job to do.” He lifted his cup to his lips. “Though I had a few regrets after going over Nardik’s involvement in a couple atrocities in the Congo. I was anticipating with extreme pleasure removing him from the scene.”

  “You could find and get to him now if it becomes necessary?”

  “I’d have to tap a few contacts to get updates. As I said, it was several years ago.”

  “But you could do it?” she persisted.

  He nodded. “I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t give you what you want.” He smiled. “And I don’t mean in the carnal sense. Though I’d be happy to discuss that at any time.”

  “No, we won’t,” she said curtly.

  “Whatever you say. Are there any other questions you’d like to ask me?”

  “Probably a hundred or so once we get into locating Nardik.” She met his gaze. “But I have a couple I want answered right now. Why are you here? Why did you come when Venable asked you to do this job? You have plenty of money these days, and you haven’t had to work for Army Intelligence or any other security department for a long time.”

  “You’re asking me if I’m willing to risk my neck for the chance to get you in bed?” He smiled. “Oh yes, it would definitely be worth it.” His smile faded. “But that’s not why I’m here. I owe you, Catherine.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Typical response. But it’s still true. You helped me find my daughter’s body and the one responsible for her death.”

  “You know I didn’t do it for you. Eve is my friend, and she deserved to be at peace after all those years of searching for her daughter, your daughter. I wanted her to have some kind of resolution. You weren’t important.”

  He made a face. “Cruel but honest. But in spite of my lack of importance, you still gave me resolution, too. It might have been just a by-product, but the result was the same.” He looked down into the remaining coffee in his cup. “And there were times when you had more faith than anyone else that I hadn’t killed Bonnie. That meant a great deal to me.”

  “Why? It wasn’t because I thought you were such a great guy. I knew who and what you were. It was just that everyone around you wasn’t thinking clearly. Too much emotion. Someone had to put two and two together and come up with something besides six.”

  “I’m glad you set me straight,” he said solemnly. “Heaven forbid that you thought I was worthy of the battle. Will you at least accept that I feel differently and want to pay off a debt? You believe in the payment of debts yourself, or you wouldn’t be here, would you? You think you owe a debt to Hu Chang.”

  She shook her head. “This isn’t about debts. Hu Chang and I have gone way past that point. I just can’t imagine my world without him, and I won’t tolerate anyone’s trying to take him out of it.”

  “Really?” He was studying her expression. “That’s an extraordinary commitment. Hu Chang is a lucky man.”

  “Hu Chang makes his own luck.” She added curtly, “And can also be a complete asshole.”

  He chuckled. “I take it that’s his present status?”

  “If I could corner him and get him to talk to me, I might be able to tell you. Did Venable tell you he had to pull in a Special Ops team and an F-16 to get him away from Nardik?”

  “Extreme measures. He must think Hu Chang is worth it if he went to the trouble.”

  “He thinks that Hu Chang is going to cause some kind of major catastrophe if he can’t stop him.” She put her cup down. “And he’ll stop him any way he can. Did he make you an offer to turn Hu Chang over to him after we find him?”

  “Yes, quite a nice one. You’re right, he wants Hu Chang badly.” His brows rose. “Are you going to ask me if I accepted?”

  “No. If you’d taken the offer, you’d lie. But I tend to think that you wouldn’t betray me. You don’t need the money, and you wouldn’t let Venable tell you what to do.”

  “That sounds promising. Are you telling me that you’re going to let me help you nail Nardik?”

  “If I find I have to do it. I don’t give a damn about Nardik. All I want to do is get Hu Chang out of this bonfire he’s gotten himself into. If you think that you owe me, I’ll take it. I’ll take anything anyone can give me to wrap this up.”

  He nodded. “Then we find Hu Chang and put Nardik on the back burner. It’s settled. In the meantime, I’ll make a few phone calls and see if I can update my info on Nardik.” He stood up. “Because we both know that if Nardik wants Hu Chang that much, then he’s going to be very troublesome in short order.” He inclined his head. “Or you wouldn’t have had Venable request my services. Now what else would you like me to do? I’m at your disposal.”

  “As if you’d pay attention to my orders any more than you would Venable.”

  “You’re wrong, this is your territory. I can obey orders if they make sense.” He smiled. “Or if I think that there will be pleasurable consequences.” He saw her frown, and said, “No, everything I told you about my motives was the truth. This is a payback as far as I’m concerned. Will I try to get you into bed? Hell, yes, that goes without saying. It won’t interfere with anything. And we’ve been heading in that direction since the first time we saw each other.”

  “I don’t give a damn what happened in the past between us. As far as I’m concerned, this is a clean page. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “A fresh start? That might be appealing. I’ll try to comply. But I have certain memories that keep intruding.” He added, “So give me orders if you like, Catherine. I may not obey them in the conventional way, but the result will be the same.”

  And that would frustrate her no end. “I’d rather keep you under my eye than tell you what to do. It’s safer. Just get me that info on Nardik.”

  “Right.” He turned and headed for the door. “I checked into the room next door. I’ll give you a key in case you need me. I’ll go and make my calls, then come back, and we’ll go out to dinner and talk again. You can show me Hong Kong.”

  “I’m no tour guide. You’ve never been here?”

  “A couple times, but I haven’t seen your city. That should be interesting…”

  The door shut behind him.

  She should have told him he didn’t want to see her Hong Kong. It had been seamy and full of ugliness.

  But he would probably have found that ugliness as interesting as the more beautiful sights of the city.
He had boundless curiosity. He would study it and see how it had shaped the person she had become.

  No.

  She instantly rejected the thought. She was too vulnerable to Gallo now, and she did not want to get any closer to him.

  Unless that closeness was in bed. Admit it, that was the one place where she knew there would be pleasure, and the only vulnerability would be physical. She could handle that far better than any psychological probing.

  What was she thinking? She could handle either one, but it was better if she kept Gallo at a distance on all fronts. She got to her feet and headed for the bedroom. She would call Luke and tell him what she could without disturbing him. He would probably realize that she was being deceptive, but she wanted to hear his voice and was ready to run the risk. Anyway, she was probably as overprotective as Sam claimed. It would do no harm.

  And it would do no harm to go out to dinner with Gallo. They had to eat, didn’t they? It would be different sitting down at a dinner table with him in a situation where they had no agenda. They might have grown intimate sitting over campfires and trekking through acres of woods, but they didn’t know the simple, civilized things about each other.

  Civilized? That might be the wrong word. There were elements of savagery about both of them, and they instinctively reacted as warriors when the situation called for it.

  What the hell? They could pretend to be civilized.

  As Gallo had said, it might be interesting …

  * * *

  GALLO KNOCKED ON HER DOOR forty-five minutes later. He had slipped on a black sports coat over his black jeans and a white shirt that was open at the throat. He looked very tough, totally masculine, and riveting. “Ready?” he asked tersely.

  “Yes.” Her eyes narrowed on his face. “What’s wrong?”

  “We may not have to go hunting for Nardik. I got my update, and he arrived in Hong Kong today. He evidently wasn’t pleased with the way you decimated his hired help and decided to take over operations himself. He had his yacht, Dragon King, brought to the harbor from Macau, and he should have boarded it already.”