Emerald

by Rebekah Thompson

  Carefully, I take the dried glasses to the shelves behind me. I fill the first two shelves, and when I’m done, I find I have a few more glasses left. The third shelf is just out of my reach; even with heels on, I can’t reach. I reach as far as I can. Still, it’s no use.

  “Need some help?”

  Turning, I come face to chest with Hawk. “Uh, yeah. I can’t reach to put these on the shelf,” I admit, “I’m too short.”

  Hawk’s mouth turns up at the corner because of my comment, and he grabs the last three glasses, setting them on the shelf. He turns back to me and looks down, since my height puts me eye level with his shoulders. “I think you’re the perfect size,” he says, then walks away, leaving me standing there with an open mouth.

  “Angel, we’re closing up early tonight, so you can take off,” Wolf tells me as he re-enters from the back door. I smile, grab my jacket and keys.

  Wolf replenishes the alcohol on the shelf as I head out the door. “Thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow, Wolf,” I wave, leaving the building.

  ~*~

  The darkness and silence around me is deafening.

  Turning over, I pull the covers up to my shoulders. A shiver runs down my spine, and I sigh. I’ve been tossing and turning for hours. For some reason, I can’t fall asleep. My mind is running.

  My eyes flick to my phone. 5:42 am. I got in bed after ten. My mind keeps wandering back to nightmares. I have them almost every night, but they’re more than nightmares… they’re memories.

  Again, I turn over and close my eyes. Maybe I can sleep if I try harder.

  Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

  Groaning, I sit up and run a hand through my hair. I roll out of bed, walk over to the bathroom, and flick the light on.

  As I stand in front of the mirror, my eyes wander over the scars on my body. I have several long knife cuts on my arms and back, and I have smaller ones on my legs and arms. I’ve got grooves on both of my wrists where the chains dug into them.

  Every cut has a painful memory behind it.

  Wiping away a stray tear, I look into my own eyes in the mirror, “You are strong, beautiful, and brave.”

  Chapter 5

  Banging on my front door brings me out of my sleep. I look over to my phone and gasp when I see it’s two hours past noon. I scramble out of my bed and fall to the floor with a shriek.

  “Crap,” I groan. When I get back to my feet, I run to the door, pulling it open to find Wolf and Hawk standing there. Hawk’s eyes run the length of my body, making me look down.

  Quickly, I move behind my door and hide my almost naked body. Why didn’t I put a shirt on when I woke up?

  “Give me a second,” I tell them, closing the door. I grab a shirt from my room and pull it over my sports bra and shorts. I can’t believe I opened the door like that.

  Once I’m dressed, I go back to the door and open it again. “Hey, I’m really sorry,” I tell Wolf. “I didn’t hear my alarm this morning. I’ll work late if I need to… just give me a minute to get ready and I’ll go in now and-”

  “Angel!” Wolf interrupts, making me stop mid-sentence. “It’s fine that you dinnae come in. We were just worried,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. A flutter runs through me as I realize I have more people that care about me. I haven’t had care in a while.

  Opening the door more, I motion them in. I tell them to make themselves comfortable while I go wake the kids. They don’t make a move to get comfortable, but I continue to the kids. I go into Reece and Rosaleigh’s room to find them still asleep. I stop beside their bed and gently shake each of them.

  “Reece. Rosaleigh, it’s time to wake up,” I call out to both.

  Two pairs of eyes flutter open, and twin smiles greet me. “Hi, Mommy,” they crow. I kiss each of their heads. Reece rubs his eyes and lifts his arms, wanting me to pick him up. I lift him as Rosaleigh stretches before I pick her up too.

  “I’m tired,” she whines. I secure her on my hip as I carry them into the living room. Reece nods in agreement and nestles his face in my neck.

  When I get into the living room, Hawk’s eyes follow my every movement as I sit on the couch.

  “Did you go to sleep when Lacy put you down?” I ask, and Rosaleigh looks up at me.

  “No, I don’t remember,” she mumbles, laying her head on my shoulder. I look down at Reece. He just shakes his head.

  “I guess none of us slept well last night,” I mutter under my breath. The guys give me a worried look, and I give them a weak smile. “Did you need something, or were you just checking up?” I ask. They lean forward.

  “Wolf said you didn’t show up to work. Lacy said you didn’t answer the door when she came by,” Hawk speaks up, making me look at him. He looks as good as he did the last time I saw him… which was yesterday. His dark brown, almost black hair sweeps back to reveal searching eyes. He leans back and crosses his arms over his chest, causing his muscles to flex.

  “Thanks, and sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any worry,” I tell them, and they nod.

  “You dinnae have to come in today,” Wolf speaks up. “You look beat.”

  Sighing, I shake my head. “No, I can do this. I just need…” I don’t know what I need. I need something. Not wanting them to see the uncertain, broken girl inside, I take a deep breath. “I can do it,” I tell them again. They both eye me.

  Rosaleigh stirs, looking up to see who I’m talking to. As soon as she sees, she wiggles until I release her. A smile spreads across her face as she crawls over to Wolf while squealing his name.

  Reece stays put, with his face in my neck, as Rosaleigh climbs into Wolf’s lap and snuggles into him. Reece then climbs off my leg and takes the full spot in my lap now that his sister had moved. I smile as Wolf holds onto Rosaleigh. Then I look away when Hawk stands to his full height and holds out his hand.

  “Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Hawk says. I place my hand in his, and gently, he pulls me up. I stumble a bit. I mumble an apology as he steadies me.

  Once I’m on my feet, Wolf takes Reece out of my arms and holds the twins, laying them on his expansive chest.

  All of a sudden, my feet are no longer on the floor. Hawk’s arms are around me, carrying me princess style. Out of instinct, I fist his shirt in my hand and grip it, burying my face in his muscular chest. “Don’t drop me,” I plead softly, holding tighter as he shifts my body in his arms. He tightens them around me as the door creaks.

  When he lowers me, I hold tighter. “Don’t leave me,” I whimper as sleep tries to pull me under. I hold on, anchoring myself to the feeling of him so I won’t sleep. So that the nightmares would stay away. I look up at Hawk, and he sighs.

  “Okay. I’ll stay,” he says, sitting on the bed and holding me to his chest. I move as close as possible, drinking in the warmth. My eyes flutter closed, but I force them open again. Even though I didn’t sleep well last night, I don’t want to fall asleep now. I want to soak up this feeling.

  Secure. If there was one word I could use to describe this feeling, it would be secure. It takes everything in me not to succumb to the sleep pulling at me, so I look up at Hawk.

  “Is Hawk your actual name?” I ask. Most bikers have road names, and I assume Hawk is his road name, but I don’t know for sure because some bikers just have unique names; especially if their parents brought them up in a club.

  Hawk watches me and brushes my bangs aside. “You should sleep.”

  “I will… when you tell me your name,” I say more sternly. He chuckles, then lays me down.

  “Dominic Knight,” he whispers, his lips brushing my forehead.

  “Dominic,” I murmur, my eyes sliding closed, sending me into a sleep I hope won’t be plagued with nightmares.

  ~*~

  “Wake up, Mommy. Time to wake up,” Rosaleigh says. I open my eyes to see the twins hovering over me.

  Unlike when I fell asleep, I’m under the covers, and Dominic is gone. Slowly, I climb out of bed, this time checking my outfit,
and follow the kids into the living room. “Hi, guys,” I say, noting that Dominic is sitting on the couch and Wolf is messing with the TV. They both nod to me as I make my way to the kitchen.

  Grabbing some strawberries from the fridge, I set them on a plate. My eyes fall on the clock, telling me it’s five o’clock. “Thanks for letting me sleep,” I say. I make my way over to the couch and take a seat next to Dominic. I make sure to not sit too close, but close enough to where it doesn’t seem like I’m avoiding him.

  With a sigh, I explain. “There are some nights where the dreams are too much, and I get little sleep.” I take a bite of one of my strawberries and moan.

  The sound steals Dominic’s attention. He stares. I blush. I didn’t mean to make that sound or give any ideas. I try my best to ignore the stare from Dominic. I finish my other three strawberries and stand to throw my trash away, but Dominic stops me.

  “Let me,” he says then takes the plate from my hand. I watch as he walks to my small trash to throws my trash away for me. When he walks back, Dominic’s phone rings. He pulls the phone out of his pocket, scowls, and announces, “I have to take this.”

  Moving to the door, Dominic pulls it open while answering the call. My eyes stay on him until he disappears through the door.

  “I’m sure it’s nothing too bad,” Wolf says, making me look up. He has Rosaleigh on his hip and three DVDs in his hand that she’s looking at.

  “What?” I ask. He moves to the couch to sit and touches my arm.

  “You looked worried,” he answers, another smirk pulling at his lips. Did I?

  My eyes flicker to the door again, and I shake my head. “I just- he sounded serious,” I tell him.

  Before Wolf can say anything else, the door opens and Dominic storms in. “Church in fifteen minutes,” he growls. Church, also known as club meetings, is an important part of being in a club. The club, led by the President and VP, uses Church to make decisions that will impact the club members, or the community they’re part of.

  Wolf sets Rosaleigh down and ruffles Reece’s hair. “See you later,” he says to the kids then turns to me. “See you tomorrow, lass.” Dominic stands there for a minute, like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t; instead, he walks out of my apartment, leaving me confused.

  My eyes stay glued to the door and I can only hope that everything is okay. “Mommy, I’m hungry,” Reece says, pulling at the hem of my t-shirt. Smiling down at him, I head towards the kitchen and grab a pan to make pancakes.

  ~*~

  Three days.

  It’s been three days since I’ve seen Dominic or Wolf. I figured I’d see them at work, but for some reason, neither of them showed up. Wolf called me to give me instructions for work and to tell me I could have today off. So Lacy and I are going shopping. I’ve told her I’m not a fan of shopping, but she won’t take no for an answer.

  According to her, I need some “mommy time.” One of the club’s Old Ladies- what club members call their wives- volunteered to watch Reece and Rosaleigh, which means I can have that “mommy time” Lacy says I deserve so much.

  Since I’m not working, I dress in jean shorts and a sky-blue t-shirt with black sneakers. I leave my hair down and apply a slight amount of makeup.

  “You almost ready?” Lacy yells from the other room.

  Rolling my eyes, I grab my keys and head into the living room area, “Yeah, are you?” She drops her book on the table, nods, and we make our way out to her car and toward the mall.

  Lacy said the closest mall is half an hour away. Also, she added that it’s in another club’s territory.

  “You told Wolf where we’re going, right?” I ask, hoping her answer is yes. I don’t want to make anyone mad for just going to the mall.

  “Nah. We’ll be fine though,” she says. “I did, however, call Maverick, the Saints Prez, and he said it was fine if we came to their territory. He and Dominic are friends, but he and I are… close,” she smiles. I wonder how close they are. Close as in dating or close as in best friends?

  “That’s good,” I mumble. That Dominic is friends with Maverick gives me a sense of security. I don’t know what it is about Dominic, but something draws me to him. When I saw him and touched him for the first time, there were sparks. That sounds cheesy, but it’s true. I never thought something like that would happen in real life; I mean, I’ve read stuff like it in books, but I didn’t think it happens.

  I keep trying to tell myself that I’m not here to find a man, but with Dominic, I’m not sure what’ll happen. I don’t know much about him, either.

  “How old is Dominic?” The question tumbles out of my mouth before I can stop them. Lacy parks in the mall parking lot and turns to me. Her eyes roam my face, and her eyebrows lift.

  “He’s twenty-six. Why?” She asks, assessing me. I shake my head, trying to act cool about it. I bite back a smile as I climb out of the car. She doesn’t need to know how interested in Dominic I am. I don’t even know if I’m ready to admit it to someone else; I can hardly admit it to myself.

  She gasps. “You like him! You so like him,” she squeals. I spin, shoving my hands over her mouth. No one around us seems to have heard or cares what she’s saying, so I take my hands away from her mouth.

  “I- I don’t know… maybe,” I admit, knowing if I’m going to talk to anyone, it’s going to be Lacy. Maybe she can help me figure this out. I run a hand through my hair and say, “I don’t know what it is. Think about this; when I touched him, I felt sparks.”

  She stares. She stops walking and exclaims, “What?”

  Nodding, I sigh. “I don’t know. When he’s around, I feel safe and I forget about the destructive things that have happened.”

  “Seriously?”

  I stay silent as we make our way into the mall. Apparently, Lacy doesn’t like my silence. She elbows me, making me grunt.

  “Fine. Fine. It’s weird, but he feels safe and familiar,” I say, looking up at the ceiling. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, she grabs my arms and shakes me. Squeals and laughs tumble from her lips as she lets go and dances in a little circle.

  “Oh my god! You guys would be perfect together!”

  Now that we’re inside, she draws more attention with her antics. I try to ignore the people staring at us. I smack her arm, which makes her look at me with a curious expression.

  “You can’t tell anyone,” I sigh. “I don’t even know if it’s just the fact that he’s hot or if I like him.” This comment makes her pout like a four-year-old.

  “Oh, come on. It would be perfect,” she says, looking off as if imagining something. “The strong, beautiful girl with the horrible past and the hot, caring biker who helps her overcome her demons,” she sighs, bouncing on her feet. I can’t help but laugh at her childish demeanor.

  Does she want this to happen so badly?

  Rolling my eyes, I walk again. “Just let it go, Lacy,” I state. “It will never happen. He could have any girl he wants, so why would he choose the broken one?”

  With that said, she shuts up. I feel bad about ruining her mood, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up with what she was saying. Who knows? Dominic was probably just being polite with me the other day.

  As we walk through the mall, I see Saint’s club members scattered. Each time we pass one or a group, they nod to us and Lacy either says hi or waves.

  We move through stores, trying on different outfits, dresses, tops, skirts, shorts, pants. Lacy throws so many pieces of clothing at me while I’m in changing rooms that I feel I’ll drown. Some of my favorites I end up buying are a black backless fit and flare dress. Another, one that Lacy picked out, is a navy-blue top that hangs off one shoulder with a black Harley on the front.

  A pair of black shorts pairs well with a white shimmer halter top that is also backless. Lacy told me at some point that I need to show off my wings proudly; therefore, several of the outfits she picked out sported no back.

  I get a few more tops that I can wear to work an
d a pair of black skinny jeans before Lacy drags me over to Victoria Secret, telling me I need some pretty things to wear.

  Rolling my eyes, I follow her in, grabbing what I need and buying a few of her suggestions. I need some new clothes, so I don’t mind spending some of my money.

  I draw the line at the eighth store Lacy tries to drag me into. “Can we stop now? I have what I need, and my feet are killing me,” I tell her. She huffs but agrees. We make our way out of the mall and toward the car. I feel like my arms are going to fall off with how many bags I have, and for a second, I rethink my spending.

  Should I have spent less? Do I really have the money to buy all of this?