Amanda Lester and the Gold Spectacles Surprise

by Paula Berinstein

  “Why don’t you look at your phone and see if he’s in the database?” said Ivy.

  “Good idea.”

  Since they had plenty of time before the train was to depart, they found a little food stand, ordered tea and chips, and sat on a bench. Amanda took out her phone and, after glancing around to make sure no one could see her screen, opened up Legatum’s criminal database. There she found entries for Blixus Moriarty, the late Crocodile Pleth, Jackie Lumpenstein, and many more names familiar to her. But as she examined the mugshots, she couldn’t see anyone who fit the face she’d glimpsed in the crowd. And yet she couldn’t shake the feeling that she knew him.

  “Guess not,” she said. “Maybe they were after someone else and he was just an actor or something.”

  “You could check the news,” said Ivy. “It might say if someone was captured.”

  “Right,” said Amanda. She turned to the local news wire and scanned the entries. There was nothing about a skirmish at the station. “It must be too soon. I’ll keep checking.”

  “Listen, about what happened to me,” said Ivy, “I’ll tell you later. Don’t worry though. It’s all in the past. Everything is fine now. Okay?”

  Obviously it was fine because Ivy was amazing. But Amanda still felt awkward and half hoped she would forget to bring the issue up again. Whatever had happened had to be full of pain and she didn’t want her to have to relive it.

  “Okay,” she said, but she felt like she was dying inside.

  At last the train arrived at the platform. After giving Nigel some water they boarded and found seats at the back. The retriever curled up underneath next to Ivy’s feet, which was a neat trick considering how little space there was. Amanda didn’t see how he could stand being all scrunched up like that but he didn’t seem to mind.

  “Well?” she said, leaning forward and stashing their bags in the remaining space. “What do you think?”

  Ivy took her hand. “About Nick’s mum, you mean?”

  Amanda turned and faced her. Ivy looked like a spring day, even after their long trek. How did she do it? “Yes, Sasha.”

  “What did you think?”

  “I think I’m numb,” said Amanda letting out a sigh. Truth be told she felt shell-shocked. There was just too much information to process.

  “I don’t blame you,” said Ivy. “We go looking for the girl who coshed Hugh and end up finding Nick’s family—definitely not a family we would have expected. I don’t know about you but I was kind of thinking of his mum as a wicked witch. Come to find out she’s just a lost soul.”

  “She is beautiful.”

  “Is she?” said Ivy.

  “Oh yes,” said Amanda. “Gorgeous, with long black hair and cheekbones to die for. Very tall. She does look like Nick.”

  “Is it eerie for you?” said Ivy, stroking Amanda’s hand.

  “Very,” said Amanda. It was, and it was making her uncomfortable. Nick’s life—and Sasha’s—had been full of tragedy, all because of a stupid mistake. “Ivy, can I just sit here for a few minutes? I’m not sure I can handle this right now.” She pulled her hand away and laid it in her lap.

  “Of course. I’ll go back to my Russian.”

  That lasted for about two minutes.

  “Talk to me,” said Amanda turning to her friend again. “Not in Russian.”

  Ivy laughed. “Okay. While you were in line I was thinking about all these weird things that have happened to us. If only one of them hadn’t occurred everything would be different.”

  “You mean for Nick?”

  “Sure, for Nick, but also Basilica, Celerie, David, Darius—even you. If Sasha had kept Nick when he was a baby, you never would have known him.”

  Amanda was stunned. What Ivy was saying was absolutely true. Why hadn’t she thought of it before?

  “That’s a creepy thought. Wink might have married her and Nick would have grown up with them. But he might still have become a detective. Do you suppose Sasha knows about Legatum?”

  “No idea,” said Ivy. “Did Darius?”

  “I haven’t a clue,” said Amanda. “I certainly never told him. But I’ll tell you one thing. If Wink had married Sasha, David wouldn’t have been born.”

  “If David hadn’t been born we’d still have The Detective’s Bible,” said Ivy. “No David, no lost Bible.”

  David Wiffle had thrown the detectives’ most critical artifact into a pit full of water after running over it with an earth mover. A few pages had surfaced since then but most of it seemed to be gone. He had probably caused more havoc than the Moriartys by doing that. The book was irreplaceable and indispensable.

  “That’s right!” said Amanda. “We lost it because Sasha never told Wink about Nick. If she had, Wink might never have gone back to Celerie. But I don’t hate her. She seems too nice. Nicer than Mrs. Wiffle.”

  “I don’t hate her either. She really seems confused, doesn’t she?”

  “Yeah, she does kinda,” said Amanda. “But she’s a mom. She’s supposed to be the grownup.”

  “She does seem to care about Nick though,” said Ivy. “And she obviously loves Basilica. Maybe she’s just a late bloomer.”

  Amanda pondered this for a moment. “You know, Ivy, too many things have gone wrong. We have to fix them.”

  Suddenly a boy of about eight who was walking down the aisle tripped and his sandwich flew into Amanda’s face and landed in her lap.

  “Ewww, cooties,” he said. “Mum, can I have another one?”

  The woman who must have been his mother gave Amanda a dirty look and said, “You didn’t need to stick your tongue out. Now my son’s food is full of germs.”

  Amanda fumed but kept quiet. The boy pointed at her and laughed. “She’s got mustard all over her face.”

  “You need to pay for a replacement,” said the mother, at which point Ivy stood up, and from her towering height of five feet (she had grown), said in a very controlled way, “Bollix.” Amanda had never heard her speak that way before.

  “Oh really?” said the woman. “If you’re so tough then you can pay for the sandwich.”

  “You’re a bully and a prat,” said Ivy. “Buzz off.”

  Amanda elbowed her. “Good for you,” she whispered.

  Ivy felt for the sandwich. Amanda lifted it up and put it in her hand. Ivy reached out and tried to shove it in the kid’s face but he dodged out of the way and said, “Nya nya.”

  “Take your spoiled little brat and learn some manners,” she said.

  Amanda was impressed. Perhaps studying Russian was making Ivy tough. Maybe she should learn it too.

  “How dare you?” said the woman, clutching her son.

  Ivy lifted up her sunglasses and gave the woman her withering stare. “Madam, you have no idea who you’re dealing with.”

  The boy looked at Ivy, then at his mother. He snatched the sandwich out of Ivy’s hand, said, “I don’t like you,” and continued down the aisle. His mother gave Ivy a scathing look that of course she didn’t see, and followed him.

  Amanda laughed. “Well done. The nerve of those two. What is it with trains, anyway? They seem to attract the worst people.”

  “And monkeys,” said Ivy, giggling.

  Throughout all of this Nigel had been the perfect gentleman. Amanda never ceased to marvel at his self-control. Even when he saw cats he didn’t react. Well, not much anyway. He really was mellow. He didn’t even try to lick the mustard off Amanda’s face.

  “I need to clean this up,” she said. She scooched past Ivy and made her way to the ladies’ but it was hopeless. She was able to get the junk off her face but her clothes were another story. Why was it that every time she took a train she ended up smelling like a delicatessen or worse? It was getting to be a joke. Maybe next time she should bring a bib.

  She peered into the mirror. It was scored and pockmarked and she could barely see herself, but she could tell she was a mess. Her hair was sticking out all over the place and there was food in her teeth. H
ad she looked like that at Sasha’s? What must Nick’s mother and sister have thought of her? They were so beautiful and well-groomed and she was a disaster. No matter how hard she tried she could not get control over her appearance. It was so frustrating.

  She sighed and walked back to her seat, scouting for the nasty people as she went. Good, there was no sight of them. She hoped she could make it all the way to Oxenholme without running into them. At least if she had to go to the loo the boy wouldn’t be there. Thank goodness for small favors.

  As soon as she had sat down Ivy said, “I agree with you.”

  Amanda had no idea what she was talking about. The mean kid? “Well, he was a brat. The mother was worse though.”

  “Yeah, he was, and so was she, but that’s not what I mean. You were saying we need to fix things. I agree.”

  “Oh right. Like the secrets missing, Thrillkill being in jail, Professor Snaffle disappearing, Professor Buck throwing the wretch society out of the tunnels.”

  “Yes,” said Ivy. “This secrets thing is a mess. The slips from the trove have been stolen, the metadata is who knows where, the Bible is partly in the hands of your evil stepfather, and then there are Moriarty’s secrets, which we know nothing about except that they exist.”

  “Oh right,” said Amanda. “I’d almost forgotten about those. Blixus mentioned them when he was under the influence of the spider venom. I’m still not sure whether those belonged to Professor Moriarty or Blixus.”

  “Does it matter?” said Ivy. “We know your stepfather is after them. If he finds them we’re toast. We need to put the demons back in Pandora’s box.”

  “That’s exactly what they are, isn’t it?” said Amanda. “Demons.” She glanced past Ivy and out the window. The view didn’t register. All she could think about was that Nick was beset by more demons than the rest of them put together. She wished she could slay every one of them and give him his life back. Why wouldn’t he let her help?

  “He’d forgive her,” Ivy said softly.

  Amanda turned to her. “Sorry?”

  “I guess that was a bit of a non sequitur, wasn’t it? Nick. He would forgive Sasha if he knew.”

  How had Ivy known she had been thinking about him? Probably because she was always thinking about him.

  “I don’t know what he thinks anymore,” she said. “I don’t understand why he left me. I thought he loved me.”

  “That’s exactly why,” said Ivy, taking Amanda’s hand. “He thinks he’s failed you.”

  “Saving me from Banting Waltz wasn’t failing me.”

  “He didn’t complete the third labor,” said Ivy. “He isn’t going to be a detective.”

  “I don’t care,” said Amanda. “He doesn’t need to be a detective. He’ll find something else. What does it matter?”

  “He’s trying to make amends,” said Ivy. “Now he thinks he won’t be able to.”

  “That’s so ridiculous. He already has. All that stuff about Blixus he told Professor Feeney. That’s going to help us immensely. And getting David’s and Editta’s moms to stop hating us? That was all him. Doesn’t he know that?”

  “Obviously not,” said Ivy.

  “He seems to have a lot in common with his mother. Both of them like beating themselves up. Which I don’t understand. He’s never been a quitter. You saw what he did with Editta’s and David’s mothers. And swallowing that poison. A boy who would do that is not the kind of person to give up—ever. ”

  “I know,” said Ivy. “But sometimes things get to the best of us. They’re only human. They’re trying to make things better in their own way. That’s all either of them can do now. You have to go from where you are.”

  Amanda pondered this wisdom for a moment. “You’re right. Which is why we have to fix everything. For them and for the detectives.” And me, she thought. I want him back so much. I don’t know how I’m going to go on without him.

  Just then Ivy’s phone binged. She picked it up and put it to her ear. “A text from Simon,” she said. She listened for a moment and put the phone down. “He says Scapulus is being weird.”

  “What does he mean Scapulus is being weird?” said Amanda. Scapulus Holmes was a sore subject. After their tempestuous romance she’d hurt him badly and felt so guilty she didn’t even want to think about him.

  “He didn’t say,” said Ivy. “Just that he’s being mysterious.”

  “Wouldn’t be the first time,” said Amanda. “You know how he likes to keep things to himself.”

  “Apparently whatever he’s doing is extreme even for him,” said Ivy. “I’ll text him back.”

  “No, don’t. I mean do if you want to know. I’d rather not.”

  “Okay, I won’t then.”

  “Not because of me, Ivy. Text him back. He’ll want to hear from you.”

  Ivy put her phone away. “No. Maybe I should cut back on my contact with him.”

  “You really don’t love him, do you?” said Amanda. Simon was crazy about Ivy but the reverse wasn’t true.

  “I don’t know,” said Ivy. “I can’t make up my mind. And that isn’t fair to him. I should pull away. Then maybe he’ll forget about me and find someone else.”

  Amanda didn’t want to say it but Simon and Ivy were so well matched that she couldn’t imagine him with anyone else. Ivy yes, but not him.

  “What if I were to do it?” said Amanda. “Text Simon, I mean.”

  “But you don’t want to know what Scapulus is up to,” said Ivy.

  “Yes I do,” said Amanda. “I’ve changed my mind. If Simon went to the trouble to mention it, it’s important.”

  “All right, fine,” said Ivy. “I’ll do it.”

  “No, let me,” said Amanda.

  “It’s okay, really,” said Ivy. She took her phone out again.

  “No,” said Amanda. “You don’t want to him to think you love him. I’ll do it.”

  “Oh all right,” said Ivy. “If it really is something, he’ll tell you. With me he’ll just try to spin out the conversation so he can keep talking to me.”

  “He does that?” said Amanda.

  Ivy sighed. “Oh, yes. He does that.”

  “And you could never . . .”

  “The thing is,” said Ivy unhappily, “I think I could. A lot. And I’m afraid.”

  “Do you want to talk?”

  “No. Not now. Just text him.”

  Amanda squeezed Ivy’s hand and took her phone out. “What’s going on with Scapulus?” she texted to Simon.

  The reply came back almost immediately. “Don’t know but it’s big.”

  Scapulus Holmes, Badass

  Lila Lester was facing a dilemma. The man she loved more than the sky had given her an ultimatum: come with him to the dark side or else. Not that he’d put it in those words but she was no dummy. She recognized subtext when she heard it.

  At first she’d been shocked that her lover would use his position as a prosecutor to take over the Moriarty cartel. But when she thought about it it made sense. He would simply dissolve the organization and bring the criminals to justice.

  So she’d told him yes, she would join him, and the joy in his eyes confirmed her decision. Oh how she loved him. He was so much more a man than Herb Lester, afraid of nothing and no one. He went after whatever he wanted with a single-mindedness Herb had never had. She was so glad he’d come into her life.

  But it soon became apparent that he had no such good deeds in mind. As he was heading out the door one morning he said, “See you later, Bonnie,” and she stopped him.

  “What did you call me?” she said.

  “You know, Bonnie and Clyde,” he smiled. “You and me, my love.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “This is the first day of the rest of our lives,” he said, and kissed her hand. “We’re going to be the most infamous couple that ever lived.”

  “You mean famous,” she said.

  “No, beautiful. I mean infamous.” He cocked his fingers like a g
un. “Shoot ‘em up!”

  He winked and sauntered down the steps leaving Lila standing there with her mouth hanging open.

  She must have misunderstood him. He was always joking, her lover. But then her brain started to whirl and doubt crept in. He’d said things in the past couple of days, remarks about “capers” they’d pull and “loot” they’d gather and how he would extort money from this and that prat. Now that she thought about it, he’d even joked about murdering people. She’d thought it was just prosecutor humor but something felt off. He seemed different, with a hardness in his eyes she’d never seen before.

  Then she noticed that he was being secretive. She’d enter the room and he’d jump. One time he hastily placed a magazine over some papers, almost as if he didn’t want her to see them. Another time he slid something into a drawer. He’d never done that before. Why was he acting so strange?

  Or had she imagined it? Maybe he was just tidying up his desk or preparing a surprise for her. But as she looked deeper she realized there had been other signs.

  After dinner one night she’d gone to his office to ask a question and caught him browsing a selection of knives. Another time she heard him talking to someone about opening an offshore bank account. She’d thought nothing of that either, but now that he was bringing up Bonnie and Clyde she wondered. Was he serious about becoming the new Moriarty? No, it was crazy. He was an honorable man with a reputation to maintain. He would never do such a thing. She put her suspicions out of her mind.

  Anyway she had bigger fish to fry. Gaston Thrillkill had fired her from her position at the Legatum Continuatum Enduring School for Detectives and she was furious. She would get back at him and that psychopath Buck if it was the last thing she did. That was what was really important. No one disrespected Lila Lester. No one.

  Scapulus Holmes turned the key and pushed the door in. His hands were sweating so much they left a mark. The last time he’d been in this house Professor Redleaf was still alive. He wasn’t sure how he’d feel walking into her living room with her gone, even if it did belong to him now.