Heart of Defiance

by Ryan Kirk

  His options were limited. Curiosity warred with his desire for independence. If the monks found him, whatever slim cover he’d been able to create would be blown. They’d request his return, at best. Guanyu might demand it.

  But he wanted to know what Guanyu planned. If he had an advantage, it was that it would be difficult for the monks to sense his strength. The power the monks were radiating was intense. In the center of that, only the most sensitive would pick him out.

  Delun settled on the inn’s rooftop. It was easy to access, with a table set up for patrons to enjoy sunny weather. There were also a number of ways down if something disastrous came to pass.

  From his elevated position, Delun could see the unfolding drama more clearly. The monks were in a three-column formation. Delun recognized it immediately and swore under his breath.

  In recent years, the monasteries had started developing techniques for working as a large group. In one sense, it was surprising that the monasteries had taken so long to do so. But fighting as a group had never been part of their role in society. At most, they traveled the country in pairs.

  The Battle of Jihan had changed that. Pairs of monks hadn’t been enough to handle the energies of that day. Abbots had started to ask what they could do if such an event came to pass again.

  The formation Delun saw marching down the street was one of their answers.

  The two outer columns of monks acted as a shield wall. They weren’t close enough for Delun to sense individually yet, but he knew what he would feel as they approached. Every second or third monk would be holding a shield that overlapped with the surrounding ones. When they tired, they would give a signal to their partners, who would take over. The result was a virtually impenetrable defense that could last for some time.

  The center line was concerned with offense. The outer columns of monks were spread out wide, giving the monks in the inner column plenty of directions to attack. Protected by the shield, they could attack at will, taking the time to form whatever strikes they wanted. Delun had practiced in such formations and they were a considerable advance over the past ways of fighting.

  It didn’t bode well for the people of Kulat. Perhaps Guanyu was only trying to protect his monks, but Delun’s gut told him otherwise. Why the inner column if they were only protecting themselves? That third column told Delun that even if the monks weren’t out for a fight, they were certainly prepared for one. Dread left a sour taste in his throat.

  Below him, a crowd was gathering. Delun watched another young man rallying people to him. He anchored the feelings of the townspeople, getting them to stand against the monks. Delun’s eyes narrowed. Was that man a member of the Golden Leaf? It seemed likely. Delun memorized the face, and was about to head downstairs when he felt a wave of energy pass below him.

  His eyes widened as they traveled back to the monks, now only two blocks away from the protesting group. The monk at the head of the column was now easily recognizable.

  Kang.

  And he had just attacked the citizens.

  The attack hadn’t been much more than a warning. Delun was certain of that, knowing Kang’s strength as well as he did. His suspicion was confirmed a second later.

  “Clear a path!” Kang’s voice boomed over the street.

  Inspired by the youth near the front of their group, men and women stood against the advancing monks. A few rocks arced over the group, bouncing harmlessly off the shields the citizens couldn’t see or feel. The boys who had thrown the rocks ran away, passing out of sight quickly.

  Delun wasn’t sure what to do. The two groups met about a block from the inn. He considered attacking the ringleader of the protesters, but quickly dismissed the idea when he saw the anger on the faces of the people gathered below. If their ringleader went down, chaos would ensue.

  Could he get between the groups and tell them to stand down? He didn’t think so. The protesters didn’t know who he was, and he was an outsider to the monks.

  Delun clenched his fists, hating the feeling of impotence building within. There had to be something he could do. But this felt like a nightmare that couldn’t be stopped.

  The young man who had gathered the people stepped in front of his followers, walking all the way up to the shield. When his outstretched hand touched it, he stopped. “Return to your monastery!” he yelled. “We want nothing to do with you!”

  Kang never hesitated. He extended his hand and the youth was blown backward and tossed into his followers, who struggled to catch him.

  It was just the spark the people needed. They surged forward, reason forgotten as a mob mentality crashed over them. Above, Delun watched, frozen. Any choice he made would be wrong.

  Rocks flew toward the monks, useless. They hit the shield and slid off the side, one or two endangering the protesters themselves.

  The group crashed against the shields, pushing their way against the invisible force. Delun watched as some of the monks tired against the pressure. Eventually they would have to drop their shields so others could replace them.

  Delun wondered for a moment if the protesters might make progress. More people, emboldened by the trailblazers, were coming in from different parts of the city.

  He got his answer soon enough. Kang gave an order Delun couldn’t hear from the chaos, and waves of energy crashed into protesters. Delun’s vision blurred as he lost all hope.

  The men and women in front buckled like rag dolls. Given the energies involved, Delun had little doubt their organs had collapsed from the pressure.

  Kang ordered more attacks, and for a moment, there was a fragile equilibrium. The protesters kept pressing against the monks’ attacks, even as those in front paid for the advance with their lives. Then the protesters realized their friends in front weren’t just injured. Anger turned to panic, washing over the protestors like a wave. The advance turned into a haphazard retreat, everyone running to get as far away from the monks as possible.

  The retreat was just as bloody as the advance. Kang and the monks didn’t relent in their attacks, even as they aimed at the backs of the very citizens they were supposed to protect.

  From his perch, Delun could see everything, but could do nothing. His body refused to respond to his commands.

  As quickly as it had started the event was over, the monks proceeding down the street as though nothing had happened, stepping over the bodies as though they were just debris.

  Delun watched them walk past. Somehow, he knew he had just witnessed the beginning of a new era in the empire.

  As the monks left, people started slowly returning to the street, mourning their lost ones.

  21

  The clearing above the village had become something of a second home for Bai over the past few days. Spring faded into summer, and the cool mountain air and soft scents of blooming wildflowers calmed her racing mind. When she trained with Lei, she found some small measure of peace.

  Lei seemed to understand, giving her all the time and training she asked for without question. He willingly woke early in the morning and trained with her late into the afternoon. Left to herself, Bai would have trained until the sun fell and only the moon illuminated the clearing, but Lei always left in time for supper with Daiyu. Even his kindness had limits.

  She hadn’t announced her decision yet, but she planned to leave his village soon. As soon as she was certain she could contain her power, she would slip off into the night. She would find some small village, far away, and try to find work. In time, she was confident she could make her way in the world. Lei’s training had given her that much, at least.

  Lei wanted more for her. She could see it in every action he took. He didn’t foresee any specific future for her, but he wanted her to make use of her strength.

  He didn’t see that she couldn’t. While he had found a way to move past the mistakes of his past, he didn’t understand there was no moving past what she had done. No matter how many times he told her it wasn’t her fault, that there was no way she
could have controlled her first reaction to the gift, his words rang hollow. The fact remained that if she hadn’t been there, Galan’s market square would still be standing.

  Her mother would still be alive.

  She had made a truce, of sorts, with her sorrow. So long as she kept herself busy, she could almost feel like a normal person. But as soon as she rested it returned, like a boulder tied to her throat, pulling her deeper into despair.

  A couple of times a day her thoughts turned to ending her own life. If she really wanted to control her power, the solution was in her hands. Yet she could never do it.

  She had thought a lot about her inability to end her life, forcing herself to confront truths she’d rather not.

  At first, she told herself that she believed what Lei had told her outside of Galan, that she still had something to live for. She could find purpose and move on with her life the way he had with his. She wanted to believe him, desperately. She held onto his words as though she was dangling from the side of a cliff and they were the ledge supporting her weight. But she knew, deep in her heart, she was lying to herself.

  There was only one reason she hadn’t killed herself yet.

  She was a coward.

  The thought of dying terrified her. Even though it would solve all of her problems, when she looked at the dagger Daiyu had given her, that terror stilled her hand.

  “You’re not terribly focused this morning,” Lei said.

  Bai cracked open an eye. Across from her, Lei sat casually in the grass of the clearing. She’d been so lost in thought she hadn’t even noticed him move from his meditative position. They were supposed to be meditating together, but one thought had led to another. She didn’t have any idea how long ago her master had given up his own meditation.

  “What, exactly, distracted you?” he asked.

  “Thoughts of killing myself.”

  Lei didn’t show the surprise Bai expected. His face remained at peace, but his gaze did focus on her. After a few moments, he leaned forward. “I will only make this offer once. If you ask me, right now, I will do it for you.” He grabbed his sword, propped up on a rock next to him. “It will be quick and painless, and you will know no more suffering.”

  Bai’s eyes widened, and she leaned away from him. She’d thought about asking him, but had never dared. He didn’t deserve to carry the burden of her death. She looked at his sword. The blade was still sheathed, but she could see the well-worn leather of the hilt. It was a sword that had seen plenty of use.

  It would never be easier. All she had to do was say the word.

  Moments ticked by, one after the other.

  She couldn’t.

  “No, thank you.” She bowed toward him.

  Lei stood up. “Good. Get up.”

  Accustomed to obeying commands, she was on her feet before consciously realizing it.

  She had never heard the steel in Lei’s voice before. “You’ve made a choice. Stop questioning it and accept it. You want to live, no matter what you believe.” His argument was simple and direct.

  “But…” Her words trailed off as Lei summoned a weak attack in his right hand. They’d been training together often enough, she had come to recognize the movement. He attacked her without warning.

  She had become accustomed to the sensation of being flooded with power. She felt his energy slam against her. But against her, it didn’t carry the destructive force it should. Her body soaked in the energy, the power infusing every part of her with more life.

  Lei snapped a quick roundhouse kick at her, but thanks to his own energy, he moved sluggishly, his body a lumbering oaf to her sharpened senses. Before the kick could even reach her, she stepped inside his guard and gave him the gentlest of shoves.

  Controlling her strength presented a constant challenge. Had Lei been on both feet, the shove might have only made him stumble back a pace or two. In mid-kick, though, it sent him to the ground. As she’d come to expect, though he was surprised, he rolled smoothly on his back and onto his feet again. As he did, her perception of time returned to normal.

  “Can you change the past?” Lei asked, his hand summoning another attack.

  “No.”

  “Then you need to let it go. All that matters… is now!” Lei attacked again, this time the energy stronger.

  Despite all her training, she still couldn’t form even a weak shield. She had no choice but to stand there and absorb his attack, his power making her feel as though her skin was on fire. The power had to go someplace, but she’d never formed anything beyond the weakest attack.

  She jumped at Lei, surprised when a single leap carried her all the way to him. She landed roughly and sprawled out on the grass. When she came to her feet, she saw the grin on Lei’s face. Suddenly angry at him, she punched at him. She could still feel the power coursing through her body.

  For a moment, her punch slowed. Her perception was sharp enough to see that Lei held a shield in one hand. He’d been expecting the reaction.

  But the shield didn’t stop her. Her fist slowed for a moment, then sped up as it absorbed the shield as well. Fortunately for them both, Lei was quick enough to lean away from the punch. The strength of the missed blow spun Bai around.

  “Release it!” Lei commanded.

  Again, her instinctive obedience took over. She made the first sign of the attack, snapping her right wrist into place. Aiming up at the sky, she felt the energy flow through her and out her hand, blasting into the sky above. It was the only energy attack she could perform, and could only control it enough to treat it as an emergency release.

  The feeling of power subsided, as did Bai’s emotions.

  Lei didn’t often show many reactions, but a sheen of sweat covered his forehead, and the heat of battle seemed to have gotten to him. He laughed and shook his head. “Amazing.”

  Bai felt suddenly guilty. That last punch, had it landed, could have hurt him. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “I don’t have enough control. I could have hurt you. I—”

  “Bai!” he interrupted her.

  “What?”

  “I’m fine. It’s in the past. Let it go.”

  She wasn’t sure she could, but she decided not to press the matter.

  Lei led them to a tree on the edge of the clearing. It was a younger tree, no more than three times Bai’s size, with a trunk not quite as wide as she was. Compared to some of the old giants that grew nearby, it was almost nothing at all.

  “If you go to some monasteries,” Lei began, “you’ll find that they hold onto one particular belief. They believe that all their power comes from within. That’s the reason why the monks train as hard as they do. Through a lifetime of working both mind and body, they believe they will get stronger.”

  Bai gave Lei a suspicious glance. Her own experience proved that belief false. She could feel some power that came from within her, but in their trainings together, it was only when she absorbed Lei’s power that she could perform amazing feats. “Really?”

  He nodded. “Some monks have suspected the truth for some time. But the traditional ways have usually worked well enough, so no one ever thinks to question too deeply. Do you believe I am as strong as I am because of my muscles?”

  She stared at him. Lei wasn’t weak, but she’d seen much stronger men even in Galan. She shook her head.

  “Of course not. Life is the source of all strength, and it is our connection to that life that allows us to use it. That was my brother’s final lesson for me.” Lei looked lost in thought for a moment.

  “The most important thing you can learn,” he said, “is how to connect to that energy. We know your body can do it, but you must learn to control your connection. I think you are ready.”

  Lei had her take a basic fighting stance, her feet slightly wider than the width of her hips. Then she closed her eyes, focusing on his voice.

  “Good. Now, you can feel my energy, right?”

  “Yes.” After the ti
me together and the training, she couldn’t help but feel his energy. It was like a beacon compared to anything else. She was continually amazed by his strength, knowing she hadn’t seen any of his true power yet.

  “Can you feel the rest of the energy around you? It will feel similar, but not quite the same.”

  Bai tried to focus, but couldn’t feel anything besides Lei.

  “Relax,” he suggested. “Deep breaths.”

  Feeling somewhat foolish, she took his suggestion.

  Still nothing. She shook her head.

  Without a hint of frustration in his voice, he kept guiding her. “Reach a hand out and place it against the tree. Can you feel it?”

  For a second, she didn’t feel anything but the rough bark against her hand. But then, at the edges of her awareness, there was something else. As Lei had said, it felt similar to both his power and hers, but different. She lacked the words to contain her experience.

  As if the tree had been a key, the entire world suddenly unlocked before her. The entire clearing hummed with life, an undercurrent of power as deep as a bottomless well. She suddenly felt incredibly small. All life was connected, and she was nothing but the tiniest part of something indescribably vast.

  Lei’s voice broke gently into her awareness. “Good.”

  His voice brought her attention over to him. Even his strength, among all this energy, was almost completely meaningless.

  “Now,” he coached, “imagine drawing some of this energy into yourself.”

  She took a deep breath and tried. To her surprise, she felt herself welling up with energy. Before long, she knew she needed to release it. Her body could only handle so much. Just as she had been trained, she formed the sign of the first attack.

  “Wait,” Lei commanded. “Let’s try something new. Imagine the energy drawing into your fist.”

  She did, feeling her arm buzzing with power.

  “Now punch the tree, as hard as you can.”