Chasing Charlie

by C. M. Newman

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE: BAD BREATH

  Although Vince wanted to reprimand Angela for a number of things outside of those about which they had already fought—such as her not letting him know the case was finished, and then not coming to bed when she got home—all of that went out the window when he saw her eyes wide with apprehension.

  “When did you get home?” His words were barely words at all, spoken from a dry, scratchy throat.

  “Maybe an hour ago,” Angela said. “Did I wake you up? What time is it?”

  “Almost five.” Vince circled around the couch, trying his best not to appear menacing. He didn’t answer her question as to whether she’d woken him up. He’d fallen asleep around eleven but had awoken almost hourly since then, his brain set on making sure he hadn’t missed any calls from her. This time, when he’d woken up, he’d heard the television.

  “Wow, it’s late,” Angela said.

  “Or early.” Vince gave the television a quick glance, then gave Angela one as well. “Can we turn that off, or down, at least?”

  Angela shut off the television and switched on the lamp next to her.

  “Hey,” Vince said, sitting down on the coffee table, his knees almost touching hers.

  She pursed her lips, then forced them into a small smile that didn’t stay long. “Hi.”

  “How did the case go? Who was—?” Vince asked, easing his way in.

  “Umm, it went well, all things considered. We found all the kids alive. But can we not talk about the case?” Angela asked. “I’ve done nothing but that for five days straight and I—”

  “Got it, sorry,” Vince said gently. He propped up his elbows on his thighs and hunched over, wishing Angela would put down the bowl of cereal so he could take her hands. But she held on to the bowl almost like it was a security blanket. “Didn’t wanna come to bed?”

  “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

  “I would’ve wanted to know you were home.”

  Angela shrugged. “Yeah, but you’re exhausted.”

  “You’re probably more tired than I am.”

  “I stupidly had coffee at the office. I already tried to sleep out here, didn’t work.”

  “Why were you at the office?” Vince asked.

  Angela winced. “I, uh…well, to be honest, I was avoiding you. We got back around midnight. I knew you and I needed to have a serious discussion and I didn’t want it to happen in the middle of the night when we were both tired—or ever, I guess.”

  “Well I, for one, do want to talk,” Vince said. “We need to, you know that.”

  “I know we do. But we both hurt each other. How do you get around that without time, you know? Normal couples can afford a couple of days of…passive aggression and snide remarks. We can’t.”

  “Then let’s talk,” Vince said. “If you want, I can start.”

  Angela shook her head. “I think I know what I need to say, if you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all,” Vince said. “The floor’s yours.”

  “Okay,” Angela said with a heavy sigh, “here goes nothing. This is the second fight we’ve had where I overstepped my bounds, realized it, apologized sincerely, and let you walk all over me.”

  Vince froze. While he’d felt worlds of guilt over how he’d let their last discussion go, he hadn’t been expecting Angela to stand up for herself quite so firmly again. Maybe if it had been a workplace conflict, the lead-in to her side of things wouldn’t have been so surprising. But as his girlfriend and then as his wife, she had seemed quite non-confrontational.

  “I don’t know what else I can say to you to convince you of how sorry I am for how I handled the situation with Charlie. I know I’m sorry doesn’t really seem to cut it, but think about what’s going on in my head, Vince. What’s going on in my heart. I feel completely responsible for what Charlie went through. I didn’t need your help in that. What you said to me…it really hurt. I know I screwed up, but I’m your wife. Even if we weren’t married, it’s not okay to treat me that way. You don’t get to make me feel small. You don’t get to make me feel stupid. Not when I’m trying to apologize to you. Repeatedly. And no matter what, you don’t get to tell me how I feel about Charlie.”

  Sensing that Angela was finished—with that particular portion of her speech, anyway—Vince jumped in. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the way I talked to you, the things I said.” He reached out for her hand. She didn’t offer it up, but she didn’t yank it away, either. She just let it sit inside of his, limp and cold. “I’m so sorry. For lashing out at you, for ignoring your apologies—you’re right, I can’t treat you like that.”

  “Can’t we treat each other a little better than that?” Angela said to the blank television.

  “I’m sorry. I promise, if I ever have another problem with how you handle something, I’ll think back on this conversation and remember how I hated myself for…” Vince paused to check the clock. “…eight or so hours. Can you forgive me? Please?” He stroked the back of her hand, waiting for it to come back to life at his touch. Finally, she squeezed back and nodded.

  “Can you forgive me for a serious lapse in judgment?” Angela asked as they embraced.

  “I already have. I don’t blame you, Angie, I really don’t. Kids are mean,” Vince said bluntly. “There is the chance that, even after I talk to Charlie’s teacher, this will continue. It’s not because of you that he’s being bullied. It’s because of me.”

  “Vince, don’t—”

  “It’s true. All of this is because I’m sick. And yeah, it tears me apart, but I’d rather let myself hurt over it than let you. And after everything you’ve done for Charlie, after how much you’ve committed yourself to him, I’m not in any position to go telling you how much you do or don’t love him. And if I’m not mistaken, that’s probably what bothered you the most about what I said.”

  “That would be correct. The rest of your case was valid,” Angela said. “A little loud, but valid. I really did step on your toes and I hate that. When I come home in the wee hours of the morning and we haven’t talked since we fought, and one of the first things you ask me is how the case went and what happened to the twisted freak who kidnapped four kids—he’ll rot in prison, by the way—it’s easy to tell you miss your job. And I know what a huge part of your identity that was. I know you feel powerless. I promise, I’ll back off. The big decisions are all yours. I’ll stick to whether Charlie can have an extra scoop of ice cream or push the cart at the store.”

  Vince stared long and hard into Angela’s eyes. “I do trust your judgment with him, and that hasn’t changed. Making one mistake doesn’t take you out of the running. If it did, they would’ve taken him away from me years ago. You’re really good with him, honey. You know I love things the way they are. I don’t think anything really needs to change.”

  “Okay,” Angela whispered, secretly reveling in everything being right again between them.

  “You know what?” Vince said.

  “Hmm?”

  “I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too,” Angela murmured. “I’d give you a kiss right now but I don’t think you want one.”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  Angela kept her cheek to Vince’s chest and said, “Let’s see…cigarettes…coffee…Lucky Charms…not the best combination.”

  “Well, I like Lucky Charms, myself. The cigarettes I think I can handle, and coffee breath is fine with me.” Angela tried to resist, but Vince still craftily stole her lips for a moment. “You’re right, that is an interesting mix.”

  Angela laughed quietly. “How’s Charlie? I feel awful that he heard us fighting.”

  “Well, that one’s on me. I was the one whose yelling woke him up. But he’ll be okay. Maybe if you could put on an extra big smile for him in the morning so he knows everything’s all right…”

  “Everything is all right,” Angela insisted. “I won’t need to put on a smile. Actually, I think I want to go check in on him. I’ll be to
bed in a few minutes.”

  “And I’m supposed to clean up this mess?” Vince said with a chuckle, picking up Angela’s cereal bowl.

  “Yup.”

  “Hey, it’s snowing out,” Vince said as he passed by a window.

  “Has been since we got back,” Angela said. She turned off the living room lamp so they could see out the window more clearly. “It made me think of you.”

  “I bet it made you think of Miami, too,” Vince teased.

  Angela laughed while Vince positioned himself behind her and swallowed her up in his arms. “Yeah, maybe a little.” He tightened her arms around her stomach and she winced. “Oooh—”

  “What is it?”

  “Nothing, I just…got in a little tussle at the end of the case.”

  Vince backed away and turned Angela around by the shoulders. “You’re hurt? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Angela shrugged. “It’s not that bad. And you know me. I like a little action sometimes. Keeps things interesting.”

  “What exactly did he do to you?”

  Angela rolled her eyes at the coddling. “Later, okay? And yes, you can see the bruises, but you might want to wait until day three or four. Mine have the best colors then.”

  “You’re—”

  “Adorable, I know,” she said, twisting away to peer out the window again.

  “I was going to say irritating, but I’ll give you adorable, too. I’m glad you’re okay.”

  She chuckled. “Sorry if I scared you.”

  Vince’s arms found their way back to where they belonged and were much more gentle this time around. “No harm, no foul. So…I checked the weather and this is probably the last big snow of the season,” he mumbled, brushing his lips against her temple. They watched on together as the white flakes danced down, decorating the tree right outside the window. “I know my little obsession with snow is kind of silly, but…”

  “It’s not silly at all,” Angela argued, contorting her neck to grab a kiss from him. “I’m glad I got back in time to watch it with you. Hey, can I go with you to chemo today? Just for a little while? I wanted to say hi to Frankie. Oh, no, wait, she’s not on weekends. I forgot. Never mind.”

  “She is now. More intensive chemo schedule. You sure, though? You were kind of beat up last time when you left there.”

  “I know, but she’s got it a lot worse than I do. The least I can do is come and say hi. Oh, and I got her something. Well, not really—they were selling some fun-run t-shirts around the office last week and I felt guilty because the proceeds were going to charity, so I bought one even though I have more than enough of them already. Anyway, when I stopped by the office this morning, I saw it, and I thought Frankie might like it. It’s probably a little big, but she could wear it for PJs.”

  You amaze me, Vince almost said. “I think she’d love that, and she’d love to see you. I can ask Jen to take Charlie for a little bit while you’re with me, and then you can spend the rest of the day with him while I finish up. Unless you’d rather catch up on sleep.”

  Angela shook her head. “Mm-mm. I’d much rather catch up with Charlie.”

  “He missed you like crazy.”

  Angela smiled sadly. “I wonder if I was like that with my mom when I was his age. Or even with my dad.”

  “Speaking of your parents…when they do they get back from their trip again?”

  Angela knew what she had to do when that happened. “Far too soon.”