Faded Dreams

by Kari Lemor

  His gaze drifted to her stomach, and his expression was one of longing.

  “You really want to see this baby all the time? They cry a lot, make messes in their diapers, and need to be held and rocked often.”

  Luke knelt in front of her and gently touched her belly. The baby rolled inside, like he knew his father was here. Tears filled his eyes, and Elle didn’t have the heart to tell him no. Yet there wasn’t any way she could bring herself to marry him.

  His hand smoothed the sweater dress over her baby bump, and he inhaled deeply. “We created this child together, and maybe it wasn’t planned, but I can’t regret this. I don’t. I want to raise our child together.”

  “Okay.”

  Luke’s head whipped up, and his eyes teared up further.

  Stroking his face, she put on a brave smile. “I’m not agreeing to a marriage, but I will move in with you and raise our baby together.”

  As he joined her on the seat, Luke drew her in and kissed her. No control when it came to him. She only hoped she wouldn’t regret this decision.

  Chapter Nine

  Luke zipped up his hoodie and poked his head into Alex’s living room. “I’m heading outside to play some b-ball since the weather’s nicer today. If you need me, let me know.”

  Elle sat with Gina and Alandra, Greg’s wife, who lived across the street. They were going through websites of cribs and baby furniture after the excellent meal Alex had made for all of them. It might have been Luke’s prodding, wanting Elle to feel at home here and with his family, but Alex and Gina had been happy to have the company.

  “I’m fine, Luke. I don’t need a babysitter. Gina and Alandra will take good care of me, I’m sure.”

  Gina shooed him away, then focused back on her computer screens. Being a computer programmer, she had some powerful equipment. Luke usually tried to stay away from it for fear he might break it. Greg and Ali’s kids, Ryan and Jillian, huddled with a laptop watching a movie.

  As Luke trotted through the kitchen, Alex scowled. “Are you finally ready? Got permission from your mom and everything?”

  “Please, bro. You’ve been licking Gina’s shoes for the past year. Don’t talk to me about this shit.”

  After snatching a cookie from the plate on the counter, Luke followed his brother out to the driveway where Greg waited, a basketball in his hands.

  “With the sun down, it’s going to get cold fast. Let’s keep warm.”

  The three of them threw the ball back and forth. It wasn’t the ideal way to play, but it had been ages since he’d been able to hang like this with his family. With the winter snow, Alex and Greg probably hadn’t been able to do much either.

  “How were your first few days at work after being away?” Alex asked as he tossed the ball through the hoop.

  “Took me a while to get back into the swing of things. Granted, on Monday, I spent more time answering everyone’s questions about what it had been like. As if I could tell them anything. It settled down the last two days. Then, I’m taking some time off tomorrow afternoon to go to Ellie’s doctor’s appointment.”

  Alex tipped his head. “Everything okay?”

  Luke grabbed the ball from Greg and dribbled toward the hoop. “Yeah, it’s just a monthly check up. But I want to be involved.”

  Greg caught the rebound. “How’s that going?”

  Luke sighed and lunged for the ball.

  “That bad?” Greg grinned. “I get it, though. Pregnant women are very hormonal. Wendy was awful and hated everything I did.”

  “At least you got her to marry you.”

  Alex paused with the ball in his hands. “You can’t get Ellie to say yes?”

  Running his hands through his hair, Luke scowled. “She thinks I’m going to cheat on her.”

  Alex raised his eyebrow, and Greg winced.

  “What? You think I will, too? God, am I really such a douchebag?”

  “Let’s face it, bro,” Alex said. “You’ve slept with more women than I know. Your reputation isn’t exactly shining.”

  Greg edged closer. “You need to give Ellie some time and prove to her that she’s the one.”

  “The one?”

  Alex frowned. “The one you want with you forever. ‘Cause if you don’t want that, you’re better off backing away.”

  “How do I do that? You each have your forever lady. How did you convince her to marry you?”

  Alex grinned. “Gina’s been in love with me since we were kids. All I had to do was smarten up and ask her. Easy.”

  “Well, I’ve known Ellie for ten years, and I’ve asked her twice already. She still said no. Greg, what about you and Alandra?”

  “I saved her from a burning building. How do you say no to your hero?”

  Luke shook his head. “If I recall, there was a small lull between the house fire and the engagement.”

  Greg sighed. “To be honest, I did some stupid shit and pulled away from Alandra. When I finally realized I loved her and wanted her in my life, she wasn’t sure she could trust me. It took almost a month of being extra solicitous, some groveling, and showing her how much I love her to convince her to take a chance.”

  “So I just need to spend time being nice and it’ll all come together?” God, he hoped that’s all it took.

  Alex dribbled the ball, then threw it to Luke. “I think with your history, you might need to put in some major effort. Show her how much you care about her. Give her extra attention and do nice things for her around the house.”

  “We haven’t even moved into the house yet. We still need to get furniture and dishes and a million other things. We aren’t closing for a few more weeks.”

  “You know Gina will let you move into the house before the closing. You could move in tomorrow if you wanted. Tonight, if you had an air mattress or wanted to sleep on the floor.”

  Greg shook his head vehemently. “I wouldn’t recommend a pregnant woman sleeping on the floor. That’s not going to win her over. I suggest getting some furniture here soon.”

  “I think I’ve got her convinced to go shopping with me this weekend.”

  Alex cocked his head. “My advice is let her choose any kind of furniture she wants regardless of the price or style. Or even if you hate it.”

  “Do you think she’d choose ugly furniture?”

  “Maybe not ugly,” Greg said. “But it could be kind of frilly and fussy. Some women love that stuff. If you really want to win her over, let her get it anyway. Pink sheets and towels still do the same job.”

  “Good point. I’m a little worried about work, though. I only just got back and need to catch up on tons of stuff. They’re putting me on a few projects that are already started, so I’ll need to spend extra time getting up to speed.”

  Greg popped the ball out of Luke’s hands and shot it toward the net. “At least she agreed to move in with you. That’s a start in the right direction.”

  “It is.” Luke felt good about that. “First priority is a bedroom set, so we can start living in the house as soon as possible.”

  “Good,” Alex said. “It’s about time you moved out. You’re cramping my style.”

  Luke scooped up the ball and tossed it at his brother’s head. “Face it, Alex. You don’t have any style.”

  Elle cruised around the medical center parking lot, searching for a place to park. So many people made appointments first thing in the morning so they could still get to work at a reasonable time, which meant the lot was almost full. She drove around the last row hoping she’d find something here. Yes, there.

  Once she’d parked, she slung her purse over her shoulder and headed to the building. Just her luck it would be frosty today. Especially after the forty-degree weather they had yesterday. Tugging her scarf around her neck, she hustled as fast as she could, wondering if Luke would show up. He kept saying he wanted to be involved, but some part of her expected him to let her down.

  When Luke had offered to drive her here today, she’d refused. He’d
also suggested driving her to and from work every day since they both worked in Portsmouth. She couldn’t give up that little bit of control.

  It was hard enough to be in his presence with his family all around. When they were alone, she started getting ideas and wishing for certain dreams to be fulfilled. How was she ever going to live in the same house with him? Why had she agreed to that madness?

  Junior kicked, reminding her why. When Luke had touched her stomach with tears in his eyes, she didn’t have the heart to say no. Unfortunately, it was probably her heart that was going to take the brunt of the pain when things fell apart.

  Before she went in, she perused the parking lot to see if Luke had shown up early like he’d said he would. Nothing so far. Would he blow her off already? That didn’t bode well for their situation.

  “Ellie, hey. There you are.” Luke stood inside the foyer of the medical center, his coat undone and his gorgeous chest emphasized in his button-down shirt.

  Glancing at her watch, she nodded. “The appointment isn’t for another fifteen minutes. I told you I had to get blood work done first.”

  “And I told you I’d be here for that, too.”

  She led him down the hall to her doctor’s office, and he skipped in front of her to open the door. Inside, the place was mobbed. This wouldn’t be quick and easy like she’d hoped.

  “Why don’t you grab us a few seats while I check in?”

  “But I want—”

  “All these women—” she pointed to the line in front of her “—will be taking seats before me. I don’t want to have to stand the whole time I’m here. I told you I’ve got a glucose test today that will take an hour.”

  “I’ll grab you a seat.”

  She smiled her thanks, then got in line to check in. There really weren’t that many people in front of her, but she couldn’t have Luke attached to her side the whole time. He threw her off kilter.

  Once she’d given them her name and insurance card, she waddled to where Luke guarded a chair. Okay, maybe she wasn’t waddling quite yet, but this belly was getting bigger, and she definitely didn’t have a normal gait anymore.

  Luke lifted his coat off the seat so she could sit but remained standing.

  “Aren’t you going to sit?”

  His eyes roamed the room. “I don’t want to take a seat from another pregnant lady.”

  Elle counted the women waiting to check in, then the number of seats. “You might be okay. Sit. You’re making me nervous up there.”

  Luke dropped into the chair and rested his forearms on his thighs, his hands folded together. He stared at the floor while Elle took her coat off.

  Touching his arm, she asked, “Are you okay?”

  “I’ve just never been to this kind of doctor before. There are so many women. Are they all having babies?” His gaze slid to a few older women on the far side of the room.

  Elle snickered. “Obstetrics and Gynecology. So babies and lady parts. No male patients, though I have seen a dad or two here at times. They usually look as uncomfortable as you do. I told you it wasn’t necessary for you to come with me. If you want to leave, I won’t be upset.” Even though she’d loved the idea he wanted to come.

  “No, I’m here because I want to be here. I want to make sure everything’s okay with you. Do you not want me here?” His voice was low, but deep with intent. He stared at her, waiting for an answer.

  Patting his hand, she nodded. “I’m glad you’re here, Luke. It’s nice to have a partner to go through this with.”

  He flipped his hand, so their fingers intertwined, and he clasped his other on top. “A partner. Yeah, we do things together.”

  “Murielle Russell?” A nurse stood in the doorway next to them scanning the room.

  Elle stood and Luke followed.

  “I think I’m just getting the glucose drink right now. You don’t need to come.”

  Luke’s eyes narrowed, and he tipped his head at the nurse.

  “I just need her for one minute, then she’ll be back. It might be another fifteen minutes before the doctor is ready for her.”

  Luke frowned but sat back. Elle followed the nurse to a back room where she was given a small cup with a colorful liquid. She drank it quickly, trying not to shiver at how sweet it was. Within a minute, she was back next to Luke.

  “So, what was that you just did?” The Parent magazine he had in his hands landed back on the side table.

  For the next twenty minutes, she explained about the test for gestational diabetes, and he asked a million questions about what other kind of tests they’d done already. Elle couldn’t tell if he was truly interested or just trying to make conversation. But when he mentioned some stuff he’d looked up on the internet, she realized he really wanted to know.

  Finally, they were brought back to a room where she was weighed and had her blood pressure taken. Luke slumped in a chair in the corner.

  “Hmm, it’s a little higher than normal.” The nurse jotted down notes in her chart. “The doctor will be in shortly.”

  Luke bolted upright when the nurse left and stared at her as she sat on the large exam table. “What’s higher than normal?”

  The door opened before Elle could answer, thankfully. Her doctor, a middle-aged woman with dark hair and pretty eyes, walked in and smiled when she saw Luke.

  “Hi, Elle. Good to see you again. I’m Dr. Chaudhri,” she addressed Luke, and he stuck his hand out to shake. “Are you here to give support to Elle?”

  “Yeah. I, uh, I’m the baby’s father. Lukas Storm. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for the other appointments. I just returned from deployment overseas, but I plan to be around from now on.”

  Dr. Chaudhri smiled. “That’s wonderful. Thank you for your service. I’m glad you were able to get back in time. I’ve had other patients who had to go through this alone because their husbands were still serving elsewhere. Having a friend or a sister isn’t quite the same as having the child’s other parent involved.”

  Luke stared as the doctor read through the vital statistics. “Your blood pressure is a bit elevated today. Have you been having any problems since I last saw you? Any extra stress at work or home?”

  Elle peeked at Luke, and Dr. Chaudhri nodded. “Hopefully, this is good stress, though it may also cause the blood pressure to go up.”

  “Um, she’s moving into a new house with me, so that’ll be stressful, too, I’m sure,” Luke said. “I probably shouldn’t have her do any of the work for this. Does she need to stay off her feet?”

  The doctor laughed. “Elle is perfectly capable of packing and moving. And at this point in the pregnancy, getting some exercise is good for her and the baby.”

  “Can she lift boxes? How heavy is too heavy?”

  Elle glared at Luke as he continued his conversation as if she wasn’t even here. “Luke, I’ll be fine.”

  “Whatever you did before should be okay,” Dr. Chaudhri addressed her. “But remember your body has changed and your posture and balance may be off, and you can’t hold things as close to your body any longer due to the baby. Make sure to take this into account when you’re carrying things. I’d keep the lifting to maybe twenty pounds or so.”

  “No lifting the new couch, then?” Elle grinned.

  Luke cocked his head, but when he saw her face, he squinted at her. “Don’t joke around with the expectant father. I’m still getting used to this. So, doctor, Ellie’s cleared to still do most everything she did before?”

  “Yes, and that includes sexual relations if that has you worried. It won’t harm the child.”

  Heat rushed across her face, and Elle wondered if her skin was the color of her hair.

  “However, in the next few weeks and months as the baby gets even larger, you might want to take things a little slower. Make sure to get plenty of rest and put your feet up when you can. Once this child gets here, you won’t have that opportunity often.”

  “I work in an office at a desk, so I’m not on my feet much. I
do try and get up to stretch at least once every hour.”

  “Excellent, Elle. Now, let’s measure you and take a listen.”

  Elle reclined on the table and slid her pants down below her belly and lifted her shirt up. Luke’s eyes stayed glued to her stomach. No disgust at how big she was. He seemed to be in awe. She bit her lip to contain her emotions.

  Dr. Chaudhri did a quick measure of her stomach, then pulled over the Doppler. After squirting a tiny bit of gel on her belly, she placed the device and twisted it back and forth. The rapid pulse she’d gotten used to came through loud and clear.

  “Do you hear that, Mr. Storm? That’s your child’s heartbeat.”

  “It’s so fast. Is it supposed to be that fast or is something wrong?” His voice sounded choked.

  “It’s just right. Nice and strong.”

  Luke’s hand slipped into hers, and he pressed his lips together as he stared at her stomach. He glanced at her and whispered, “That’s our baby, Ellie.”

  She squeezed his hand and answered, “It is. Our perfect baby.”

  Dr. Chaudhri let them listen for another minute, then handed her a cloth to wipe the gel off. The woman had spent more time with the heartbeat today, most likely because of Luke and his reaction.

  “While you still have several months before the baby arrives, it might be a good time to look into childbirth classes. There are a few offered at the hospital running from six to twelve weeks, depending on your availability. You don’t want to wait too long and have the ones you want be full.”

  “Thank you, doctor. We’ll do that.” Elle had previously checked out the classes but hated the thought of going alone. Now, it looked like she wouldn’t have to.

  “Everything looks good. Did you have any concerns or questions you wanted to ask before you go?”

  Luke shook his head, looking like he’d been socked in the stomach. Elle thanked her again and slid off the table.

  “Take care, Elle. Lovely to meet you, Mr. Storm. The nurse will get you from the waiting room when the time is up for your glucose blood draw.”