Faded Dreams

by Kari Lemor

  The kind thing to do would be carry her upstairs and put her in bed. But he’d been without her all weekend, and he just wanted a little time with her. Asleep or awake. He’d come to rely on her for so many things. Simply staring at her gave him peace and fulfillment.

  In between bites of food, he stroked her hair and smoothed his hand over her belly. He’d admit he was greedy and wanted to feel the baby kick. Hopefully, their child could do that without waking the mama.

  He flicked through the channels and stopped when the Sox game came up. Most years, he took several trips to Fenway and saw some games with a few buddies. Looking at Elle and her rounded belly, he knew that wouldn’t be happening this year. He didn’t even care.

  The team played poorly, and a few times he started to yell at the screen, then stopped himself. Elle needed rest, and she appeared so peaceful at the moment. In the month and a half since they’d been living together, too often she seemed tense. Almost uncertain. Most likely because of him and his stupid decisions of the past. She didn’t believe him when he said he’d never cheat. But as his father had pointed out, a reputation is hard to get rid of once it’s been earned. He’d earned his stripes.

  As the last inning was winding down, the Sox having finally caught up, Elle stirred. When she gazed up at him, her lips parted into a gorgeous smile, her dimples winking at him. The sight and emotion banged against heart.

  “Hey, gorgeous. I wasn’t sure if you’d sleep the night away.”

  After pushing herself up, she rubbed her eyes. “How long have you been back? Why didn’t you wake me?”

  He glanced at the clock. “A few hours. You were sleeping so peacefully, and I know how tired you’ve been lately. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

  Her face scrunched up. “Hold on. Let me use the bathroom first. Then, I’ll say hello properly.”

  As her hips swayed away from him, he wondered if he could get her to say hello improperly. He gave himself a mental slap. Too much thinking about sex was what had made Elle leery of him in the first place. He needed to prove to her that he wanted her for more than being the mother of his child and sex. He wanted Elle. Now to make sure she knew it.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The train tracks painted on the baby’s room wall made Elle smile. Even more so when she studied the variety of cartoon zoo animals in the colorful cars being pulled by the bright red engine.

  Tessa had been busy all day yesterday getting this done. It was adorable, and with the window open, the smell of the paint wasn’t too overwhelming.

  Too bad everything else in her life couldn’t be fixed by opening a window.

  “Stop it,” she chided herself. Everything in her life was great. She had a husband she loved more than anything. Yes, she’d always been in love with Lukas Storm, even when she was fourteen and didn’t really know what it was.

  Luke also seemed to care for her deeply. He sure enjoyed touching her, and he made her feel like she was the sexiest woman on the planet. Which she knew, without a doubt, she wasn’t. Not in this condition. Eight months pregnant, swollen feet and ankles. Her fingers were like sausages and felt stiff and sore.

  The cleaning and preparation for the baby had been exhausting on top of working full time. Sherman had insisted she leave early a couple of days in the past month, saying she looked tired. She hadn’t wanted to slack off, but she’d taken him up on the offer, then come home early and raced through the house, as fast as a pregnant lady could race, to tidy up and get supper going.

  Alex had the right idea. Roasts and crock pot meals. Set it and forget it. It had allowed her time for a short afternoon nap before Luke got home. Unfortunately, a few times he’d caught her still snoozing. Which wasn’t good when he came home late. Yet she still fell fast asleep when she hit the bed later.

  Since they’d been married, Luke’s work schedule had been sporadic. Sometimes, he was home by six and other times it was almost nine before he showed up. He always texted if he’d be late, but Elle couldn’t stop the thoughts that infiltrated her mind. Was he really at work or getting a little something on the side?

  God. Why was she so paranoid? Because each time you begged off having sex or pretended to be asleep, he came home late from work the next day? She needed to get these ridiculous ideas from her head. Luke was a good man. Yes, he’d been a womanizer for many years, but cheating wasn’t something a Storm would do.

  Footsteps pounded up the stairs, and Elle shook her head to get into a better mindset.

  “Babe, you almost ready? Lots of cars next door.”

  As she pushed to her feet, the room spun, and she grabbed for the wall. Luke was across the space in a shot.

  “Are you okay?” His hands held her elbows, and he stared intently into her eyes. See? There was nothing to worry about. Luke cared about her. He cares about his baby, and you’re the vessel carrying that child.

  “Yeah, just got up too fast. My balance is a little off with Junior taking up all this room.” She tapped her belly and straightened her shoulders. “I’m fine now. This is a baby shower. You don’t have to come.”

  He linked arms with her and guided her down the stairs. “Oh, I’m not staying. While the wives are all at Greg’s, we’ve got enough for a good basketball game at Alex’s.”

  Elle thought of the family members whose wives would be at the shower. “Erik, Alex, Greg, Nathaniel, TJ and you. Pick the winning team to be on.”

  As they headed out the door, Luke pressed a kiss to her cheek. “If I’m on it, the team will win.”

  “So humble.”

  They strolled the short distance to Greg and Ali’s house and were greeted at the door by Greg’s son, Ryan, his new sister, Jillian, at his side.

  “Come on.” Jillian waved them in. “Can’t open the presents until you get here, because you’re the mama.”

  She was the mama, and that thought scared the crap out of her and filled her with so much emotion at the same time. Would she be a good mother? Would she be able to balance work and motherhood at the same time? How much would Luke help out with the baby? He’d been absolutely beside himself when he thought he wouldn’t be able to see his child every day. Would that desire to be with his child continue? Or would it fade after a few too many diaper changes and all-night crying spells?

  Jillian towed her along and led her into Greg and Ali’s huge family room. The field stone wall in the back had baby decorations draped along the beam over the fireplace. A chair with balloons tied to it sat right in front with a view out the gorgeous, curved windows in the front of their house. Elle sighed when she saw the chair was an upholstered wingback. She’d been afraid she’d have to sit in a straight back, wooden kitchen chair for several hours, or however long this thing took.

  Molly zeroed in on her as they entered the room.

  “Ellie, sweetie, you look adorable. Come on in and sit down.”

  Tessa grinned at their mother-in-law’s words. The cute dress in the soft fabric had been Tessa’s.

  Luke escorted her to the chair, pausing every step or two for them to hug and kiss the guests. Thank God, it was mostly just family. Luke’s plus her aunt and cousins. There were some women she worked with, as well, and three of her close friends. Ones she’d only chatted with a couple times since she’d gotten married. She thanked them for coming, then finally made it to the chair.

  “Do you need a little something to eat before we start?” Molly asked softly. “I had everyone else fill plates as they came in. I hate when you have to sit through all the gifts before you can get to the food.”

  Elle eyed the dining room through the large archway, and she almost drooled. Luke squeezed her hand and said, “I’ll get you something. Stay off your feet.”

  He glanced at her swollen appendages before he trotted into the room with the food. Yeah, her feet weren’t anything to write home about. They certainly were something her doctor had written down in her chart.

  She’d had a number of appointments since the first one Luke
had come to, and he’d made it to a few more. Since she was going every week now, she’d tried to talk him out of coming, especially when she needed an internal. It was bad enough having the doctor and nurse in the room. Awkward wouldn’t even cover it if Luke was there.

  Good thing he hadn’t been at the last one. Doctor Chaudhri had told her she needed to slow down. Her blood pressure had still been high, and she should stay off her feet as much as possible. Impossible. Not with how much she had to do.

  But she was trying to follow all the other advice she’d been given. Waving Alandra over, Elle asked, “Could I get a glass of water, please? I know thanking everyone will make my mouth dry.”

  Hopefully, hydrating would ease the headache she’d gotten this morning. It was a frequent occurrence. Unfortunately, if she drank too much water, she spent most of the day in the bathroom. That didn’t get the work done.

  Resting her head against the back of the chair, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed to stay calm and relaxed. She’d read the baby could feel the mother’s emotions, and she didn’t want Junior to be a neurotic mess.

  “Are you all right to do this today?” Luke asked, holding a plate of delicious smelling food and a chilled water bottle. “If you don’t feel well…”

  “I’m fine, Luke. Just tired, which is a constant when you’re this far along. Another month or so, and I’ll be able to see my feet again.”

  He set the plate and bottle on the small table beside her, then crouched next to her. “I want you to promise me you’ll let someone know if all this is too much.”

  She stroked her fingers down his face and scraped the scruff he hadn’t shaved today. “That’s so sweet. I appreciate it. I’ll just be sitting opening presents. Hardly strenuous at all. You and the rest of the guys will be pulled into service to haul it all back next door and up the stairs.”

  Of course, then she’d need to go through it all, fold it or find a spot for it. The idea had her dizzy again. After unscrewing the cap on the water bottle, she took a large swig, hoping it would make her feel better. Luke continued to stare, his expression concerned. She picked up the fork and stabbed a meatball, then finished it in two bites.

  “I just need some food. Junior’s hungry.”

  Luke’s face softened. “Okay, if you say so. I’ll be in Alex’s driveway playing ball with the guys if you need anything.”

  When she nodded, he gave her a quick kiss, then swiveled away. He stopped near Molly for a second and said something to her. She patted his hand and gave him a motherly smile. Was he making sure his mother kept her eye on Elle? Sweet or controlling?

  Luke had piled her plate high with food, so she took a small roll filled with turkey and cheese and nibbled until Sara, Gina, and Tessa surrounded her. Between her three new sisters, they handed her gifts, recorded who’d given what, and stacked them in an orderly fashion on a table. They also made sure she managed more food throughout the party.

  Elle’s mood improved as the time went by, though her headache did not. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that soon the other shoe would drop. She felt so guilty about that. The Storm family treated her better than her own ever had, Luke gave her all sorts of wonderful attention, she lived in a big Victorian castle, and they were having a baby soon. There was nothing to be stressed about. Except the fact she’d been running herself ragged trying to keep Luke satisfied, keep his house in perfect condition, and put in enough hours at work so all her projects were completed.

  For now, she’d just have to put on a happy face. As one coworker always said, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” Elle only hoped she could make it another five weeks. And that this baby wasn’t late.

  Luke kissed his mother on the cheek after making her promise to keep an eye on Elle for him. His wife liked to pretend nothing was wrong, but he knew things had been tough for her lately. The pregnancy was one thing, but moving in with him, then getting married, and now preparing for the arrival of their child had all caused more stress.

  Alex bounced a basketball in his driveway, then tossed it to Erik. His oldest brother planted his feet, took a shot, and the ball swished through the rim without even moving the net. Erik had always been able to get the ball in from anywhere. It hadn’t changed with his injury.

  “What took you so long?” Alex groused. “The ladies wouldn’t let you go?”

  Luke held his hands up and nodded to where Greg dribbled the ball. His cousin flicked it his way. “I wanted to make sure Elle got something to eat. She gets kind of lightheaded if she hasn’t had food in a while.”

  Erik nodded. “Yeah, I remember the same thing happening with Tess. ‘Course she was trying to run after the other two kids, as well.”

  Nathaniel slapped the ball out of Luke’s hands and shot it toward the net. “Darcy got mad if I tried to make things easier on her while she was pregnant with Faith. Said she could handle anything life threw at her.”

  Luke clenched his teeth, knowing Darcy’s life had been a million times worse than what Elle had gone through. Or even Tessa, for that matter. But Elle’s past still hadn’t been ideal because her parents had deserted her. He couldn’t imagine what that felt like or how much it changed who you were as a person. Yet Elle, Darcy, Tessa, and even Gina to a degree, had come through it as incredible women.

  “I want to make it easier on her, but I know she’s been doing things on her own for a while. Where’s the balance?” Luke looked to the ones who’d lived with a pregnant wife.

  TJ cocked his head. “I’d like the answer to that, as well. Sara hasn’t been too off-kilter, but every now and then she gets snippy with me and I’m not sure why. I hate to ask what I’ve done.”

  “Sometimes, it isn’t anything you’ve done,” Nathaniel said, passing the ball to Greg. “Pregnant women are hormonal, and sometimes those extra hormones get a little out of control.”

  “Like crying over every little thing.” Erik sighed, catching the rebound. “The thought of going through that again…” He shook his head, then his eyes whipped up. His face reddened as he frowned.

  TJ narrowed his eyes at his brother-in-law. “Something you want to share?”

  Erik dribbled the ball, smirking. “There must be something in the water. Tessa’s expecting, too.”

  Alex laughed. “More like Mom put some fertility stuff in one of her casseroles. She’s a little grandmother happy right now.” He stole the ball from his brother and shot it in the air.

  Luke glanced at Nathaniel and Greg. “Any news on your front?”

  “Ali and I have been married for less than four months.” Greg replied, hands raised in surrender. “Give us a few more weeks, okay?”

  Nathaniel grabbed the rebound and grunted. “We’ve got a six-month-old, plus Tanner, and then Hope on weekends. I’d like to get at least one full night’s sleep before we start again.”

  “Fair enough,” Luke replied, cutting in between Nathaniel and TJ to steal the ball.

  Alex puffed out his cheeks and exhaled. “This is what I’ve got to look forward to, huh? Crazy women. Crying for no reason. Lack of sleep. What are the benefits of having kids again?”

  Nathaniel, Erik, and Greg all grinned, faces softening.

  “Kids are so innocent and love you no matter what kind of crap you do.” Erik frowned. Luke’s big brother had dealt with some PTSD after returning from overseas and the bombing that had left him permanently injured.

  Greg held the ball to his hip. “The pride you feel when they accomplish even tiny things is enormous and goes straight to your soul.” He took a shot and Luke rushed in to grab it after it swished through the net.

  “And the connection, when it’s there,” Nathaniel offered, “is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Unbelievably powerful.”

  Nathaniel’s son, Tanner, was autistic, and it had taken Nathaniel months to find a way to get inside his child’s world. But the boy was doing so well Luke figured his cousin was doing something right.

  “I can’t w
ait,” he said and bounced the ball in circles, then lobbed it in the air. “When I feel the baby kick, it’s so incredible. The other day I actually felt a foot. A foot. Pressed right up against Ellie’s skin. I don’t know how she isn’t screaming when that happens.”

  Greg jumped for the rebound, then planted his feet for another shot. “Yeah, women are amazing that way.”

  TJ took the ball out, then tossed it to Luke. “Sara’s barely complained at all with this pregnancy, and I know she’s exhausted most of the time.”

  “That’s like Ellie. Sometimes, I come home, and she’s fallen asleep in the chair or couch. I hate waking her up, but I want her to eat something. Then, after dinner, she’s out like a light again.”

  Erik chuckled. “That late afternoon nap doesn’t happen when you have other kids to keep track of. I’ve thought of doing a split shift at the restaurant once Tess gets further along. A few hours at lunch, then five to closing so I can give her a couple hours of rest in the afternoon.”

  “Is Gina going to need rest like this?” Alex cocked his head, then lobbed the ball to Erik. “The woman never stops. I’m not sure she has a switch to slow down.”

  Nathaniel slapped Alex on the back. “Darcy’s like that, too, but even she had times she crashed. They think they can do it all, and most times they can. Guess we just need to be there with our love and support when they need a boost.”

  Luke thought about the doctor telling Elle to put her feet up more often a few weeks ago. He hadn’t been able to get away due to a new project for her last appointment, but he hoped to accompany her to the next one. He didn’t want her overtaxing herself. He’d even thought of asking her to stop working, or at least cutting her hours since she only had about a month to go. Any time he’d even hinted at it, she got all worked up about her career.

  Her job was important to her, but she was important to him. How did he make sure she took care of herself and the baby without appearing controlling?