Bells and Whistles

by Liza Kay

  Ben leaned against the stall wall, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling softly.

  The look on his face made Jamie nervous—more nervous than standing so close to an animal that could probably squish him with little effort. He focused on Delilah and carefully moved the brush down the animal’s shoulder. He smiled when Delilah’s ears twitched.

  What happened next was an unfortunate chain of events. A loud, metallic clatter sounded through the barn. Delilah mooed and shuffled her feet. She didn’t move fast at all, but with Jamie standing so close beside her, the huge animal bumped into him and pushed him sideways. Jamie stumbled and tried to catch himself.

  Ben moved toward him, arms stretched out to catch him. But his feet slid on the hay on the floor, and instead of steadying Jamie, Ben dragged him down. They landed on the hay-strewn floor, Ben on top of Jamie, with double grunts.

  “Fuck. Shit.” Ben rolled them quickly, and Jamie ended straddling the farmer’s waist, with his chest pressed against Ben’s.

  Ben’s hands landed on Jamie’s waist. He looked up at Jamie with wide eyes. Hay stuck from his blond hair, and he looked so damn cute that Jamie couldn’t help but giggle. Jamie placed his hands left and right of Ben’s head and pushed up.

  “Sorry.”

  Ben laughed. “This is becoming a habit, huh? I—” He stopped at the sound of feet coming closer.

  Jamie and Ben turned their heads when Charlie returned to the box, Gene coming up behind her with two steaming mugs in his hands.

  Charlie’s mouth formed an O, but she recovered way quicker than an obviously shocked Gene. Charlie placed one hand on her hip and raised the bag of carrots she held in her other hand. “Can’t leave you alone for five minutes.” She focused on Jamie, a knowing expression on her face that frightened him.

  Jamie scrambled off Ben and cleared his throat. “A little Delilah accident.”

  Ben stood and brushed debris from his clothes. He wouldn’t meet their gazes, and his face was beet red. “I... uh... need to go and ask Gene... something.” Dipping his head, he rushed past Charlie and out of the box.

  “I’m standing right here!” Gene shouted after his boss, lifting the mugs in a helpless gesture.

  Charlie raised one eyebrow. “Janie, there’s hay in your hair. Welcome to farm life.”

  Two hours later, Jamie’s thoughts still circled around the barn incident while he pushed a cart through the local grocery store. Charlie walked beside him, chattering away and throwing things into the cart. Jamie should probably pay attention and make sure the kid didn’t fill the cart with junk, but he couldn’t get Ben’s blush and the look on his face right before he’d fled the barn out of his head.

  Had he been uncomfortable being so close to Janie? After all, Jamie had sat on the guy’s groin, and he was pretty sure he’d felt something twitch. That must’ve been weird for a gay man. Jamie knew he’d be totally confused if he suddenly sprang a boner for a woman. Poor Ben.

  Jamie jerked to a stop when his cart smashed into something. He looked up and met the glare of a blue-eyed woman with long blonde hair. Her lipstick-red lips curled into a sneer as she looked Jamie up and down.

  “I’m so sorry,” Jamie said quickly. “I should’ve paid more attention.” He looked around and cursed. Yeah, he really should have. Charlie wasn’t beside him anymore. Shit.

  “You must be new. And since newcomers are rare in Bloomington, I guess you’re the new help from the Franklin farm.”

  The help? Jamie blinked.

  “You know... the maid Ben hired?”

  Jamie scoffed. A maid? He pictured himself in one of those short black uniforms, with a white apron and a tiny white hat perched on his head and smothered a giggle. His legs sure would look awesome. “I’m the nanny, and I help Ben around the house.”

  “That’s what I said, hun. I’m Patricia. I own the classier hair salon in town.” She didn’t offer her hand, so Jamie didn’t offer his either. He guessed Patricia being a hair stylist explained how she knew about his arrival.

  Jamie forced a smile. “Nice to meet you. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go and see where Charlie—”

  “Oh, you brought the little brat?” Patricia curled her nose. “Good that Ben hired you. That girl is in serious need of a female role model. God knows Ben will never come to his senses and provide a mother for Charlie. I swear she’s half a boy already. Her whole demeanor, and her hair.” Patricia clutched her non-existent pearls. Jamie didn’t think Bloomington was southern enough for such a gesture. “She had beautiful long hair before Ben allowed her to cut it. Charlie would be much more popular in school if she wore dresses like the other girls. But my Tabitha says she prefers to spend all her time with a cow.” Patricia widened her eyes dramatically.

  Jamie had never had the urge to punch a woman, but Patricia tempted him big time. How could a grown woman say such nasty things about a child? Pushing back his shoulders, Jamie met Patricia’s gaze. “Charlie is perfect the way she is. And if the other kids at school can’t see beyond her clothes and hairstyle to the clever and beautiful person she is inside, then that’s their loss. By the way, kids that age mostly adopt the opinions of their parents. So if Tabitha singles Charlie out in school because she’s different, you might want to adjust your attitude, hun.”

  Jamie heard a gasp behind him and turned, finding Charlie standing behind him with a box of cookies clutched to her chest. Her eyes were suspiciously wet. Charlie flung herself into Jamie’s arms and hugged him tight. Jamie returned the embrace and kissed the girl’s hair. He glared at Patricia, willing her to leave them alone.

  Patricia turned up her nose. “Well, I was trying to be helpful. No need to attack me. But I see what you’re doing.” Her smile was cold and didn’t reach her eyes. “Don’t think you can catch Ben Franklin by agreeing with his weird parenting methods. That man is queer through and through. Believe me. I tried.” She waved a hand down her slim figure. “I was Ms. Bloomington three times in a row, and even I didn’t manage to cure him.”

  “Uncle Ben doesn’t need curing, lady,” Charlie snapped. “That he can’t stand you has nothing to do with him being gay. You’re an awful person.”

  Patricia gasped. “Why, you little—”

  “Don’t you dare!” Jamie pointed his finger at her. “Say anything bad about Charlie and I’ll drag you out the store by your extensions.” He took the cookies from Charlie and added them to their cart. “Come on, sweetie. I want to cook for you and Ben tonight, and we need more than cookies, chips, and three packages of mini marshmallows to feed him.” He placed his arm around Charlie and steered her away from a speechless Patricia.

  Charlie cuddled against his side. “I love you, Janie.”

  “Love you too, cupcake.”

  Chapter Six

  The next day Ben was still struggling with what Charlie only called the barn incident. He’d always thought mucking stalls a calming job. He didn’t have to engage his brain to shovel shit, so the chore left him enough time to work through problems. His thoughts had been so occupied by Janie that he hadn’t made any progress working on his herd records. So he’d abandoned his stuffy office and ventured outside.

  Not that Janie was a problem he had to work through, but his confusing feelings for her... yeah, they were a problem. Ben’s problem. He didn’t blame Janie for being attractive and lovely and good with Charlie and—

  Ben groaned and briefly closed his eyes. “Maybe I should consider the possibility that I’m not as strictly gay as I thought. Weird.” But love—no, attraction, he reminded himself—worked in miraculous ways. Ben had never had a problem being different. Why start now over something as insignificant as gender? If Janie were a James and not his employee, he wouldn’t have hesitated asking her out.

  But Ben was her boss. Dating her could cause all kinds of trouble. What if Janie wasn’t interested and thought it weird to work for him after brushing him off? What if they started a relationship but br
oke up in a couple of weeks? Charlie would be devastated that Ben scared her beloved nanny away. He imagined himself without help, his house succumbing to chaos and dirty dishes.

  Sighing, Ben shoveled the last of the soiled straw into the wheelbarrow, leaned his shovel against the wall, and wheeled outside. He dumped the straw behind the barn, then returned the wheelbarrow to its place. When he checked his watch, he noticed he’d been outside longer than he’d planned. It was almost time for dinner. And he had to bring in the Christmas tree Gene had brought him. Maybe Janie would like to help him and Charlie decorate it.

  Curious what Janie had cooked for them tonight, Ben returned to the house. They’d had self-made pizza yesterday, since Janie had claimed it had been too late to start on the pork shoulder.

  Ben used the front entrance, leaving his dirty rubber boots on the porch. He sniffed and followed the heavenly scent of cooked food into the kitchen, where he found Janie dancing to the radio and stirring something in a pot.

  His mind ventured off the thought of dinner and latched onto Janie’s sensual moves. She had her back to him and swayed her slender hips to the music and bobbed her head. Janie had changed into a blue and gray checkered long-sleeved dress that reached mid-thighs, and black leggings underneath. She’d rolled up her sleeves, revealing surprisingly muscular arms. She’d piled her long hair into a messy bun. Several wispy strands had escaped and danced around her head and slender neck while she swayed.

  Ben swallowed around the lump in his throat, then untucked the shirt from his pants to hide the lump growing in his pants. In-a-propriate. “Janie?”

  She whirled around and faced him with a wide-eyed expression. Shock morphed into a beautiful smile. Then she blushed and averted her gaze. “Hi. I... uh...” She waved her hand, indicating the mess on the counter where dirty pots and pans awaited cleaning. “I promised you pork shoulder after your mother’s recipe. Unfortunately, the instructions aren’t very detailed, so I had to improvise and...”

  “No problem.” Ben chuckled. He opened the fridge and grabbed a beer, holding it up in silent question. When Janie nodded, he handed it to her and grabbed another for himself. “My mom is a very good cook, so I guess she didn’t see the need for details. I’m sure dinner will be great. It smells good. And I’m done in the barn. How about I help with those?” He pointed at the dirty dishes. Then he opened his beer and took a big swig.

  Janie raised an eyebrow. “How about you use the time until dinner to take a shower? And was that a tree I saw you dragging across the yard earlier?”

  Gaping at her, Ben raised his shirt to his nose and gave it a sniff. “Are you saying I stink?”

  A blush spread over Janie’s cheeks. “That’s not what I said at all.” Her twitching lips and the twinkle in her eyes said otherwise. She opened her beer as well and sipped. “Hmm. Tree? Tomorrow is Christmas eve. You should get a move on.”

  “Very well. I’ll haul it into the living room, then shower and change for you, ma’am.” Ben lifted his hand to the hat he didn’t wear, making her giggle.

  “Why, sir. Such lovely manners. Off you go, then. You have thirty minutes.” She eyed something in the oven and waved her hand in the air. “Maybe. Who knows? Depends on how cooperative the pork shoulder is.”

  Ben placed his bottle on the kitchen table. “Won’t need long. Where’s Charlie?”

  “In the living room devouring a Thor comic. I think she’s browsing for new costume ideas.”

  Ben laughed. “Good to know. Remind me to show you her Christmas present later. This year I totally nailed it.” Eager to return to her and continue chatting, Ben called for Charlie to help him with the damn tree.

  * * * *

  Jamie breathed a deep sigh of relief when Ben left the kitchen. He took two deep gulps of beer and belched. “Damn. Is it possible he didn’t notice my how the fuck does this recipe work panic?”

  Jamie brushed lose strands out of his face and leaned his hip against the kitchen table. Browsing through the recipe book, he wondered what he’d he been thinking, trying one of Mama Franklin’s dinners. He should’ve stuck with something simple from the internet, like the pizza he’d tossed together yesterday. But nooo, he’d wanted to impress Ben and Charlie with his less-than-impressive cooking skills. They were also less-than-existent.

  Jamie was fairly sure the pork shoulder would be edible. And he’d googled his way through mashed potatoes and salad. Kids should eat salad, his mother always said. He stopped skimming when he saw the recipe for hot chocolate. It might make a good dessert.

  When Charlie ran into the kitchen, comic clutched in her hand and a wide grin on her face, Jamie smiled. Charlie was a ray of sunshine. He’d never thought he’d grow attached to her so fast. “Hey, cupcake. Aren’t you supposed to help Ben with the tree?”

  “Nah. I eyelash-fluttered myself out of it. Look!” She spread the comic on the kitchen table and climbed onto the chair. Charlie pointed at a picture of Thor in full battle gear. “At Halloween I had Mjolnir as a weapon. It’s his favorite, you know? But he also has a really cool battle axe.” She trained her eyes on Jamie. “I need a battle axe.”

  Jamie suppressed a chuckle since she looked dead serious. “Hmm, why do you need the axe? Do you think you might encounter a situation where the hammer is not sufficient?”

  She seemed pleased that he took her seriously, because she smiled and nodded quickly. “Absolutely. There are girls at school who are really mean to me. If I had a battle axe...”

  “Well, sweetie. Not to rain on your parade, but I don’t think a battle axe, or a hammer, are appropriate weapons to defend yourself in school.” God, how awful where those other kids that Charlie thought she needed such armor?

  Charlie frowned and bit her bottom lip. “What’s an appropriate weapon then? Thor’s brother has a nifty spear.”

  Jamie touched her arm. “Words, sweetie. Words are appropriate. We’re not in the city, so no spears, hammers, or axes in school, okay?”

  Charlie made a face. “I tried wooords. They don’t work on girls who are empty in the upstairs department.”

  “Not a very nice thing to say about your school mates.”

  “They’re not nice to me, either.”

  Jamie smiled. “Do you want me to talk to their parents and deal with them like I did with Tabitha’s mom?”

  Charlie giggled. “That was cool. You’d make a great hero. You didn’t even have a spear and totally won the battle.” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe you’re right about that wordy business. Uncle Ben says I’m old enough to stand up for myself. And I really want to.”

  Jamie’s heart broke for his little warrior. After the Christmas holidays, Jamie would contact the principal of Charlie’s school and her teachers. This situation had to be dealt with as soon as possible. If it was as bad as Charlie said, merely standing up to her bullies wouldn’t solve the issue. Bloomington had to wake up and accept Charlie the way she was. As great as it was that she had a good relationship with her uncle, Charlie needed friends her own age as well.

  “Cupcake, let me handle this, okay? I’ll talk with your uncle about it before I do anything, but I promise I’ll help you as best as I can.”

  Charlie beamed. “Cool. You’re pretty bad-ass. I thought you’d be like the moms at school. All about dresses and hair and how a girl should be.” She leaned her head against Jamie’s arm. “In no time at all, you’ll drive our tractor and groom Delilah all by yourself.” She peeked up at him. “Uncle Ben likes you.”

  Jamie coughed. He doubted he’d go anywhere near a tractor anytime soon. He might get the hang of petting Delilah, though. “I like your uncle, too. He’s a good boss.”

  Charlie rolled her eyes. “Please. I’m twelve, not a baby. I see how he looks at you.”

  “Twelve is still too young to think about relationships. And I can assure you that Ben doesn’t look at me like that. Your uncle is...” Jamie stood and checked on the pork shoulder.


  “Gay?” Charlie’s voice rang with humor.

  Jamie turned and glared at the cheeky brat. “My boss. And gay.”

  Charlie placed her chin in her upturned palm and eyed him up and down. “He won’t mind, you know?”

  “Mind? What? That I’m a girl? Uh... I think he will.” This conversation was entirely too weird to have with a kid her age. “Help me set the table. Dinner is almost done.”

  Charlie slid from the chair and walked over to the cupboard holding the plates. “I mean he won’t mind that you lied to him,” she whispered, then quickly looked over her shoulder.

  Jamie froze in motion and stared at her. “What?”

  “Don’t be mad at me. I heard you talking on the phone last night. I was up because... I needed a glass of water.” She shot him an innocent look.

  “You were up because you’re a nosy little rascal.” He threw an oven mitt at her that she dodged. “What exactly do you think you overheard?”

  Charlie placed the plates on the table. “You told your friend that you don’t wanna lie to us. And that your underwear is uncomfortable for your man-bits.” She laughed. “Didn’t think grown-ups used such words for their... bits.”

  “Oh my gawd, stop saying bits.” Jamie was horrified. He took a quick sip of his beer. “I don’t... I haven’t...”

  Charlie frowned as she closed the distance between them. She wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her head against his chest. “I don’t mind if you’re a girl or a boy or whatever. Uncle Ben says there’s a huge spectrum between both anyway, and to never make fun of people for who they are and how they feel. I mean, I enjoy male superhero outfits and hate all that girly stuff. I don’t want people to make fun of me for that. So I won’t make fun of you either. But... if you don’t like your clothes, why don’t you wear clothes for boys?” She looked up at him with trusting eyes that reminded him of Ben’s.