The Architect (Nashville Neighborhood Book 3)

by Nikki Sloane

  He patted the empty spot in the bed beside him and sounded hopeful. “Is that coffee for me?”

  “We can share, or I can get you your own.”

  His eyes were warm. “I like sharing.”

  Oh, lord. He was so handsome like this. I went to sit beside him and handed over the mug, but there was a stone in my stomach, and I fought to keep it from dragging me down. He took a sip and watched me with his intelligent eyes.

  “Where’s Clay?”

  “Downstairs,” I said flatly. “Working on a new piece.”

  He handed the mug back to me. “What’s wrong?”

  “He’s been down there since three, and when I went to talk to him this morning . . .”

  Travis didn’t seem surprised. “He was weird?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Distant. What was that about?”

  After I’d come upstairs, I’d stood in the hallway for a long time trying to figure out what was going on. Maybe the answer was simple, and he’d just gotten overwhelmed. He’d told me at the beginning he preferred to be alone. He’d spent two weeks in Florida, and perhaps after dinner and our evening, he just needed space.

  “I don’t know,” he said, “but I wouldn’t worry about it.” He leaned forward, brushing my hair back over my shoulder. “He did this to me when the two of us scened together. Whatever it is, I’m sure he’ll get over it.”

  I curled my fingers around the mug. “We didn’t talk about what’s going to happen once he’s home.”

  He pulled at the sleeve of my shirt and seemed distracted by the curve of my shoulder once it was exposed. “We didn’t.”

  His mouth, rough with stubble, brushed against my skin and tendrils of interest awakened in me. But while my body was excited, my mind was fixated on the man downstairs, and the relationship the three of us had. It was wrong to want one when I needed them both.

  “Let’s just give him some room to breathe and figure out what he wants,” he said softly, “He can do that this last week while he’s gone. When he’s home for good, we can talk about it and everything will be okay.”

  I wanted to ask him to promise me that, but I knew he couldn’t, so instead I chose simply to believe him.

  For the first time in my career, I was happy to have long, grueling days. It cut down on the amount of free time I had to check my phone for messages.

  Because there weren’t any.

  The group chat that had been incredibly active until last weekend, had gone almost silent. It was all messages from me and short replies from the guys. More of a question-and-answer session than a conversation. We used to talk multiple times throughout the day, and now—

  Nothing.

  And we didn’t arrange any sessions for Clay to watch Travis and me together either.

  Travis had said to give Clay space, but by Thursday I was panicked. I could handle one of them being distant, but quitting them both cold turkey? That was brutal.

  Cassidy: Have you heard from the guys?

  Yesterday, I’d found thirty free minutes in Cassidy’s schedule to get together. I’d met her at a Starbucks on the edge of campus and told her everything. How I’d fucked Travis without knowing his name. The arrangement the three of us had struck. How Clay’s project was over now, and I worried Clay might have thought the evening we’d spent together was the end.

  A ‘goodbye sendoff.’

  Me: They both gave me bullshit answers about being busy.

  Cassidy: You need to talk to them. Like, for real.

  She was absolutely right. There’d been a seismic shift in our group dynamic, and if we didn’t address it, it would only get worse or disintegrate completely.

  And I did not want to lose either of them.

  My phone stayed silent Friday morning, and by lunchtime, I reached my breaking point. I composed my text while I sat in my car, ignoring the salad I’d just gone through a drive-thru to pick up.

  I sent the most serious of messages; one that should strike fear in the hearts of the men.

  Me: We need to talk.

  Clay’s response was almost instantaneous.

  Clay: Agreed, but I’m about to get on a plane. My place tonight, 8pm?

  Travis’s text didn’t come in until I got back to the clinic and I read it while coming in the back door.

  Travis: Yeah. See y’all then.

  I wore the red leopard print heels Clay had given me like they might be a good luck charm. Since I’d worn them the night the three of us had become one, my hope was their magic would work again. Trepidation made my muscles tight as I walked over to Clay’s house, and my steps slowed as I came through the gate.

  Travis’s SUV was already parked in Clay’s driveway.

  Was he running even earlier than I was, or were they meeting without me?

  I swallowed dryly and rang the doorbell. A few seconds later, Clay’s figure darkened the glass insert of the door. He wore jeans, a button-down shirt, and a look of anxiety that faded the instant he saw me.

  “Hey,” I said softly.

  “Hi.” He pushed up his glasses as he stepped back and gestured for me to come inside, but he seemed transfixed. He gazed at me like there were a million things he wanted to say, but first he just needed to look at me.

  My heart skipped.

  He’d never gazed at me like this before. It was the reaction I’d hoped for the morning after we’d all slept together, and I was thrilled to see he was back. Not just physically either. This was the man who’d let his guard down that night and let me in.

  His focus moved down to note the shoes I wore, and recognition lit his eyes. He was pleased by my choice.

  I’d been temporarily distracted by him but snapped back to reality. “Is Travis here already?”

  Clay’s expression voided out and his shields went back up. “Yeah, he’s in the dining room.”

  I followed behind him and when we stepped into the room, the tension was so thick it nearly knocked me over. It only grew when Clay went around the large table to the far side, standing behind the chair that was directly across from Travis, rather than take the one closest that was beside him.

  Sitting on opposite sides made them seem like rivals, and had the added bonus of a choice for me. If I sat next to one of the men, it’d seem I was choosing them over the other. At my entrance, Travis rose to his feet. On the surface, it was merely courtesy. Neither man would take their seat until I did, but it felt like a power play.

  So I marched to the end of the table, pulled out the chair at the head of it, and sat, leaving equal distance between me and the men.

  The atmosphere of the room was already formal, and the gesture of the men taking their seats after I had only added to it. Was this a fucking business negotiation? I peered over at Travis. “You got here early.”

  He frowned and cast his gaze across the table. “I wanted to talk to Clay first.”

  My pulse quickened. “About?”

  “I told him that if he truly cares about you, he’ll step aside.”

  I stopped breathing. “You did what?”

  He gave me a look that I didn’t understand. It was like he’d faced a difficult decision, made his choice, and now he had to see it through. “By his own admission, I can give you things he can’t. Lilith, we can be in a relationship that’s more than just scene partners.”

  Clay’s tone was curt. “Has she said she wants that?”

  The question momentarily derailed Travis, and he blinked, lost. But then his expression firmed up. “I’m not just talking about dating. I’m talking about,” he took a deep breath, “love.”

  It was the same reaction as if Travis had dropped a bomb on the center of the table. I froze, while Clay inhaled sharply.

  Love.

  The word activated something in Clay. A fight-or-flight response, but instead of getting up and leaving, he leaned forward and spread his hands on the table. He looked like a man willing to fight, to go all in, and
it left me breathless.

  “Yes,” he glared at Travis, “in the beginning I said I couldn’t give her those things, but now everything is different. The rules keep changing. Every plan I draft gets altered.” His focus snapped to me. “The only thing I can expect is the unexpected.”

  My hands were in my lap, and they balled into fists from the way his intense stare drilled into me. “I don’t understand.”

  His voice dropped to a hush. “Yeah. Me, either.” His gaze fell to the table. “It feels like I’m building a house and all of a sudden, this entire new section got added and now I’m scrambling to keep it together. To understand how to make it work.”

  I got what he was saying. We’d started to build a relationship together, and when Travis was added, it upended that. Didn’t he know he didn’t have to figure it out alone? Yes, he was my dom, but I’d never expect him to have all the answers.

  Just as I opened my mouth to tell him, his eyebrows tugged together, and his attention flew to the other man. “The reason why I told you I don’t do dating or love is because my arrangement with her excludes those things. She assured me she didn’t want them. We had a rule that if one of us started to develop feelings, we’d tell each other.”

  I somehow sensed where he was going, and tingles washed down my back.

  Clay spoke confidently, as if ready to lay it all on the line. “When you kissed her, you broke the rules of the arrangement you had with me.” His gaze flicked my direction. “I broke mine with her a while ago. I’ve had feelings for weeks and not said a thing.”

  I gasped. “Why not?”

  “Because you told me the harder a guy falls for you, the faster you want out, so I kept the way I felt a secret. I don’t want to lose you. Shit, Lilith, you’re all I can think about these days.”

  “But,” I sputtered, “you said you don’t get feelings. You don’t do love.”

  “Apparently, I do.”

  “Yeah?” Travis’s tone was irritated. “Well, I fell in love with her first.”

  I blinked. Really?

  “I highly doubt it,” the other man fired back.

  How was this possible? I had gone into this relationship not wanting to fall in love, and now both men were saying they were in love with me. It created a war in my head. One side was ecstatic they felt this way, and the other was beyond terrified.

  I hated how they both turned and looked at me as if I had to choose, right here, right now. And it seemed like they each expected me to pick them over the other man.

  I laced my fingers together and moved, slowly and measured, to set my hands on the tabletop. As I considered how to answer, I stared at the way my hands were joined.

  “I think I’m love with you too,” I said.

  Since my head was tipped down and I wasn’t looking at either of them, it wasn’t clear who I was talking to. They shifted uneasily in their seats, both ready to ask me who I meant, but I sucked in a deep breath, letting it fill my lungs with air—and hopefully courage.

  “I’m in love with both of you,” I admitted. “Together. As a unit.” I looked at one man and then the other. “So, please don’t ask me to choose because I won’t. I can’t. The night when all of us were together? That’s what I want.” I had to revise that, to make sure they understood. “It’s what I need.”

  I unlaced my fingers and pressed a hand to my chest in a desperate attempt to shield my heart from tearing in two.

  “I’ve never been in love,” I said softly. “Maybe the reason it hasn’t happened before is because I never felt . . . complete.” I declared it in the strongest, most sure voice I possessed. “But I feel that way now with both of you.”

  They looked at me as if they’d been tied to their chairs. I saw the struggle raging in their eyes. Maybe they wanted to leave, but also they seemed desperate to stay. Their unwavering gazes were pinned on me.

  “And the thing is,” I added, “I think you love each other too.”

  Their eyes went enormously wide before narrowing to slits and they turned their suspicious gazes on each other.

  I raised my hands, gesturing for them to hear me out. “Maybe it’s platonic love. Clay, you said Travis is your best friend, but you guys are more than that. You both care deeply for me, but you also care about one another. You’re partners to each other, just as much as to me.”

  Travis’s expression was unreadable as he considered what I’d said. He didn’t necessarily agree with it, but he didn’t disagree with it either.

  His tone was skeptical. “Okay, so . . . how does that work?” He made a face, displeased with himself. “What I mean is, how do you see it working? Like, we’d all be dating each other?”

  “I don’t know.” It was the most honest answer I could give. “But I’d like to talk about it, and I think we can figure it out, if we’re together.”

  I wanted to connect with them like I’d done at the restaurant, so I leaned forward across the table, stretching out my hands to both of them in offering. The hope was they would each take one, signifying they were willing to give us a shot.

  We could become a throuple. Not an open relationship, but three people committed to each other through sex, support, trust, and love.

  Clay’s chest moved rapidly, and I expected his heart was beating furiously inside his body. He stared at my hand like it was foreign, something he’d never seen before.

  I should have known.

  He didn’t like surprises and hated when things didn’t go according to plan, which I imagined was exactly what was happening now. Clay had probably spent his flight home figuring out how he was going to handle this talk. He’d have scripted what he was going to say, but then Travis had shown up early and disrupted him, and then I’d said I was in love with both men, blowing up whatever was left of his plan.

  “You say you love us both.” Clay’s body language was stiff. “What happens if one of us doesn’t want to be part of a,” he said the word with disdain, “unit?” He frowned. “You make it sound like it’s all or nothing for you.”

  “Is it?” Travis asked.

  The last thing I wanted was to give them an ultimatum, but I needed to be better about communicating. This wasn’t going to work if one of them walked away. My voice was hushed and broke on the final word. “I wouldn’t be complete without both of you.”

  I was risking everything.

  If one of them said no, that was it. There was no going back, no way to recover from it.

  The mood in the room was fraught. I held my breath painfully in my body, waiting for them to choose to take this leap with me. Couldn’t they see how amazing we’d be together?

  Travis reached out first, his warm fingers finding mine, and although he looked unsteady, he seemed sure. “I’m willing to give it a try.”

  It sent me flying, and we both turned eagerly to Clay.

  But instead of reaching out, he sat back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. “No.”

  It was a punch to my center, and I made a sound of shock. “Why?”

  For once, he didn’t like seeing me hurting and his eyes filled with concern, but they were trapped behind his glasses. “I was with you first. I brought him in because he was supposed to be temporary. You weren’t supposed to fall for him.” Then, he uttered what was truly stopping him. “That wasn’t the plan.”

  “No,” I said, “it wasn’t. But I wasn’t supposed to fall for you either.”

  He glared at the far end of table, unwilling to look at me or the hand I still had outstretched to him. “You’re right.”

  Travis sensed I was suffering, and he gripped my hand tightly for support. Or perhaps he was suffering too. By asking for this relationship, I’d put his friendship with Clay in jeopardy. What was Clay’s rejection going to do to him?

  Unexpected tears welled in my eyes. I felt him slipping away and yet was powerless to stop it. “Clay—”

  “I’m sorry I can’t give this to you.” H
e finally looked at me, and when he saw my unshed tears, it caused chaos in him. “I wish I could, but I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to love one person, let alone two.” His posture was tense, like if he moved he might fall apart.

  “Maybe I could,” Travis said quietly, “help you, like how you helped me.”

  Clay’s face soured. “No. I don’t need help. What I needed was for Lilith to stick to the plan, but that’s no longer possible.” He retreated into himself, and the distance between us became too great. His tone was cool, professional, and as precise as the lines on the drawings in his study. “I don’t think there’s anything left to say.”

  I slowly dragged my empty hand back toward my body, feeling like it was made of lead. But Travis seemed to be made of fire, because he let go of me and jolted forward.

  “What the fuck is this?” he snapped. “You’re going to throw away what we have because you—what? Aren’t getting everything you want for once?” His expression darkened. “Is this another test? Because if you’re hoping I’m going to gracefully bow out to keep you happy, keep dreaming.”

  Color rose in Clay’s face, matching the other man’s anger. “Isn’t that exactly what you asked me to do when you first got here?”

  Travis’s nostrils flared. He knew what Clay had said was true, but he didn’t like it. “You’re scared. Terrified to try something new and asking for an ‘out’ before we’ve even started.”

  “I’m not scared, and I’m allowed—”

  “You know what,” Travis sat back in his chair and tossed his hands up in surrender, “you’re right. We shouldn’t do this. You always told me if you’re afraid of the scene, that’s a warning you shouldn’t do it.” He leveled a devastating look at the other man. “You are not ready.”

  His disapproval was delivered in the authoritative voice he usually reserved for me when we were downstairs, and it fell on Clay like the roof had caved in. I understood what Travis was doing, how he was challenging the other man, but I feared it was the wrong tactic. Pushing Clay could backfire and might make him push back.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Clay said. “As usual.” He grabbed his frames and adjusted the way they sat on his face while composing the perfect retaliatory strike. “Mentoring you was a mistake. I wish I’d never done it.”