The Puzzle Within

by Aleisha Maree

  “Sing for them, Lucy, show them through a song what you are. That they are all wrong. You’re more than a tic, more than a jolt, and more than this.” His voice chills my core as he drowns me with just the sound of his voice.

  The pad of his finger wipes the tears from my cheeks.

  “Don’t be afraid, babe, falling is all a part of it,” he says, and I feel the dark in his voice.

  “Falling. I’m not afraid of falling. You though? Falling in love with you is scary. It’s the feeling I get around you that causes me to question. They hate that I am this person not so much the tic girl but the girl who has taken the King Colton from them,” my voice rasps out.

  “I was never theirs, babe. I have never been anyone’s until now and I’m fucking dead afraid of falling for you because you unarm me and, in this world that I live in, the legend that they talk about I can’t be.” His voice is deeper and darker. This time it’s raw.

  “You take me by surprise with just one look, you inspire me.” His words reach my heart, making me feel so much more than the pity I thought he felt.

  As the leftover tears dry on my cheeks, I state bluntly, “Inspire you? Shit, look at the mess that is me. Like I don’t even know when I became this person, so lost and afraid all the time. I’m not very inspirational.”

  “To me you are. Look at what you do daily. The damn world could be falling down around you and you just stand in the middle of it smiling with some extreme body tics to accessorize. I came at you hard and fast. I’m dark and dangerous and you didn’t even flinch away.” The husky rasp of his voice sends a heat to pool between my thighs, and I crack open my eyes, turning slightly to look at him, the sharp intrusion of the bright sun burning my eyes causing drops of water to roll out.

  “You inspire me to not punch them all in the faces,” I say to him as he begins to laugh lightly. “But for real, though, all jokes and shit aside.” I look at him; my fingers move to trace the outline of his lips. “Just don’t ever let me fall. Don’t break me, Colton, and I will always stand in the storm with you.” I can’t explain it as I look at him just how powerful I feel when he is around, even if he does take all my oxygen with one look and drowns me with one bite of his bottom lip. He kills my insides daily and I don’t care how lost, dark, deep shit gets, with him I know that I will stand.

  I will stay.

  “This party Friday night is sort of like a farewell for a bit. I have a surprise for you. My band is playing, and I want you to sing with me, to not run from them but show them that you’re my baby and we are in this, coz, baby, I am the King and you will be the Queen.”

  I can’t help but shiver at the possessiveness of his tone. It chills me this dark and mysterious man who is like a damn enigma wants me. He could have any one of the normal humans here, but he has chosen to take a gamble on me.

  “I have found a guy who can fix this beautiful brain of yours, babes, he can insert shit inside there.” His finger points to my temple, lightly tapping it. Chills ripple over me as I am sinking into all that is the whirlwind of Colton King and just how he wants to continuously save me. “I was going to keep it a secret till I had sorted all the deets out. I even spoke with your parents.” His voice is lighter as I try and see past the walls he has up inside his eyes. “I need you. I need you to be happy, clear minded and not afraid,” he breathes into me. “I have what you dream about, baby; freedom.”

  I turn onto my side and just stare at him.

  “I want to save you from this. I don’t want you to fight this as well as the world with me.”

  I am speechless. All I can think of is doing so many bad things to his body. Right now, he has numbed me. His breath, it is like Novocain, he numbs all the dark and the taunts. I know in this moment that I will want him forever. He makes me live outside the walls of my mind. I watch the way he sucks his lip between his teeth, his eyes searching mine. “Baby.” His voice drips sexual desire as I pull myself closer to him.

  “You make me live outta my mind and all I see is you,” I breathe into him, my lips inches from his, my breath mixing with the minty taste of his.

  “I can’t explain it either, this pull between us, you make me wanna live outside the walls of their life. You make me feel sane in the insane religion that is my life, baby,” he says to me as my mind searches all the things that are running through it, trying to pull out anything but all I come up with is how I want this forever.

  My hands glide down his chest to his hips, resting there as his hands mimic my movement, our eyes never leaving each other’s. His knee pushes between my thighs. I open up and let him rest it there. The movement pulls us in closer to the point where we are breathing for each other, and god it feels good. “We are going to blow up this world together, baby,” he says as his teeth skim into my bottom lip biting lightly. As my nails dig into his hips, he takes my mouth in such possessiveness that it shocks me. My core ripples with fire as our tongues mesh, mold, flick and roll over each other, the heat is suffocating.

  The sun is warm as my hands roam from his hips up his chest to in his hair, my fingers twisting through the strands, pulling him deeper into me. YouTube you have succeeded in helping me yet again.

  Our kiss deepens as our bodies react to each other. The way he affects my mind is beautiful. The way he affects my heart is petrifying but so real. For someone like me, this is a beautiful sensation. The emotion that hides within it, I can touch it, I can feel it, I can taste it. It consumes me, surrounding us both, and with him here like this, it undoes me. And I just let go. I stop trying to not be the tic girl and just allow it all to seep from me.

  He breaks the kiss as I reach out for him. My fingers needing to touch him, to feel him. Make sure this is still all real.

  “What’s wrong?” I see something in his eyes.

  He looks away. “We are bound by secrets, and the truths of those secrets will try and destroy us.” His hand finds the side of my face, his fingers twist up into my hair. “You’re my paradise in a war zone, and I need to make sure you’re ready for all that comes with me.” His tone is so controlled that it has my reckless heart skipping beats. “Sing tonight. Show them that you are more than they even imagined, and then summer break we will fix this beautiful brain of yours, babe.” His fingers creep from my hair to the front of my forehead, tapping it slightly. All I can do is cry because I invited a stranger to come inside. He’s seen me past the tics and fear. His gentle touch causes me to cry the way he sees me, his soul is inspirational. He broke for me to be whole.

  He said to meet him here, yet he is nowhere to be seen. The crowd is insane; the people, the noise and the heat that comes from them all. This place is huge. A massive white colonial mansion with a huge water feature right outside the front doors. Tenley is a bouncing ball of energy next to me.

  “OMG finally after two years I am at a freaking party thrown by the notorious se7en.” Her fingers dig into the flesh of my arm. Looking around, I feel sensibly dressed. I have on black, ripped jeans, the ones Colton gave me. My boots from him and a white tee that Tenley decided needed to be tied into a knot at the side of my waist. She did my makeup; black smoky eyes and red lips, with my long hair braided back tight in two long braids running down my back.

  I feel like I don’t belong. Gone are all hopes of Colton saving me as she drags me inside.

  As we walk over the white, over polished marble flooring, I can practically see how stupid I look in the reflection. Tenley’s smile cracks wider as a waiter walks up with glasses of different drinks on a tray. Some with fruit in them and some with ice. Some mixed and some straight. I take one that has ice in it and looks like it is the safest of them all as it has just a small amount of liquid. Bringing it to my lips and taking a small sip, the burn hits me instantly and my eyes water. I cough out, looking at the waiter. “What the hell is that?” I ask him.

  A small smile forms over his stone like features. “That would be tequila.” His smile breaks further.
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br />   “Mmmm right,’ is all I say as Tenley grabs another glass and I take a water from the side table to help wash down what’s in my glass. We walk from the great room out toward the back, and I see a huge stage set up with the band getting ready. People are everywhere. The pool is full of teens lounging around on blow up pool toys, and sitting on the edge are guys and girls, some with their feet in and some with people between their legs, heads resting on thighs and groins. Mmm, very sexual and intriguing to my overthinking mind. I take another long sip from my cup and cough again at the taste.

  “This is fucking epic,” Tenley says. As I look around, my eyes fall to the fire pit and the circular seating that wraps around the front of it. Filling up the seats is the rest of the guys along with Larissa and her squad. I can’t see Micah, nor can I see Colton. They must be who else is in Colton’s band.

  I move toward the oversized chairs just to the side of the huge stage, close enough to see Colton but far enough away from the eyes of Larissa as I can get. Colton jumps down from the stage when he spots me, and my heart stops. He’s got on his cherry red boots and tight black jeans paired with a grey tee and a leather jacket that has the same symbol as his wrist. His head lowers to mine, taking my breath away as his lips graze mine, sucking my lip into his teeth and biting down each time. He does this until I think I may pass out. “Hey sexy,” he coos into my mouth, releasing my lip.

  “Hey you-fuck-hot-yum-meow-snort.” I close my eyes and pull back, embarrassed for him. His finger finds my chin, pulling my head back up.

  “Look at me,” he demands. My eyes slowly flicker open. “Don’t hide from me,” he breathes out. “I will never be embarrassed by you.” His lips graze over my temple until they find my ear. “Tonight, we will set the world on fire, baby. It’s just you and me,” he says with a dominance that has me feeling stronger than I am. “Now just watch the magic happen,” he says, taking my cup from my hand and downing the contents in one gulp, ice and all, crunching it between his teeth. He winks at me, and I swoon, like swoon. So does Tenley. I feel her melt next to me and hear the ooooooh escape her lips. “This,” he raises the glass up, “you don’t need.” His mouth twists in a grin.

  “I kinda like it though,” I say back to him. The burn was growing on me and the slight buzz that I feel from the few small sips I had is a welcome feeling to my pent-up, rigid body that spends every hour in the outside world trying to suppress tics.

  He walks off, dropping the glass on a table before jumping back up on the stage. I see Micah wink over at us. Not at me but to Tenley. She giggles next to me, and my eyes snap to hers.

  “What?” she bites out.

  “Oh, nothing,” I say, laughing, pulling myself deeper into the chair.

  Colton takes the stage. His matte, black guitar slung low over his shoulder as he moves the mic to meet his lips.

  “Well, Deep Creek High’s Saving Sin has some epic shit for you tonight,” he says, and my heart drops.

  “A special human will be fucking with your senses shortly, but not before I fuck with your soul,” he purrs out as I watch all the girls here swoon over him.

  “He’s talking about you, isn’t he?” Tenley leans in close to me as Colton starts to strum out Into the Fire by Asking Alexandria.

  I just nod, trying to kill the butterflies that are attacking my insides like they are devil laced and filled with darkness.

  His song finishes. Micah walks toward him, passing him a different guitar from the one he just used. This one is also black. Colton pulls a stool from the side. Sipping on a bottle of water, he looks out over the crowd and then locks eyes with me.

  “You all tried to break a girl that has become more than any one of you ever will be. Together, we will drown you all,” he says as the crowd gasps. “Together, we will rise into more and descend.” The lights around us all turn to deep reds, sending a blood red hue over the whole area. The lights inside flick off and the pool lights up in an electric blue as Colton looks back over his shoulder at me.

  “You ready to rise?”

  With that he begins to sing. It’s intimate and it’s magic. The soul in his voice hits you hard as the lyrics wash over me, taking them all by surprise with the truth in his words. There is nowhere for them to hide.

  I met her in a nightmare that is Deep Creek High in December, I can still smell her and taste the fear from her lips as I watched her watch you all who think that you are all better. Like she was nothing, not even human, you all used her to build up the lonely ego inside. Oh, baby, but baby I saw, and I felt, oh, baby, but baby you didn’t go unnoticed and neither did their sins.

  She was slamming ear buds so deep inside her ears to block out the sounds of your hate inside her head, she was just another thing for you all to break. She tried to beat away your hate, pull it from her mind by releasing the pain in the form of her own hate.

  Oh, baby but baby, I saw, and I felt, oh, baby, but baby you didn’t go unnoticed and neither did their sins.

  She couldn’t even look you all in the eyes as you tore her to shreds and broke her into pieces, making her another wound that you all made.

  Oh, baby, but baby I saw, and I felt, oh, baby, but baby you didn’t go unnoticed and neither did their sins.

  With my hands those wounds will fade to black, I will build up the pieces picking them up one jagged edge at a time.

  Oh, baby, but baby you can be more than what they are.

  I saw her though and I stole her, with my hands she became more than the hate and the dark. I saw your scars baby and I relished in the story behind them, so I held her hand as she shook, I listened to her heart, we made memories not even my demons could scare away, she didn’t even run at the sight of the ugly my truths hold.

  Yeah, baby, we made memories not even they could touch.

  We linked fingers and shared breaths, yeah baby, we shared more in the dark than they ever see in the light. Oh, baby but baby I saw, and I felt, oh baby but baby you didn’t go unnoticed and neither did their sins.

  I will always feel you inside me, I will always save you from them. I will always pick up the pieces and love you.

  I will always catch you; you will never fall.

  Oh, baby but baby I saw, and I felt, oh baby but baby. You all made her cry while I made her stronger than all that you spat her way. This world will be ours she will rise beside me as the queen to your king. The se7en will crash through your life with a woman ruling by their sides for you all forgot to see one thing; pain needs dark, love needs hate, passion feeds on vengeance. You can’t stop us now we are about to drown you all with all that is beautiful yet reckless.

  Within your peace lies our chaos.

  Yeah, baby, we made memories not even they could touch.

  We linked fingers and shared breaths yeah, baby, oh, baby, we shared more in the dark than they ever see in the light. I will always feel you inside me, I will always save you from them I will even save you from me.

  With that his eyes meet mine and he swings his guitar behind him resting on his back.

  “Come sing with me, baby.” His voice hits me as Micah jumps from the stage and grabs my hand, winking at Tenley who pushes me into Micah. I’m shaking like a leaf as we reach the stage. He lifts me up to meet Colton’s hands. Colton pulls me up and into himself. His voice finds my ear. “I fucking love all you are, baby. Show them what they all forgot to look for,” he says, kissing my neck just under my earlobe.

  “Show her that we are together and there is nothing that she can do.”

  Shaking, my body is falling down the spiral as the tics start to work their way to the surface, coiling up my spine like Larissa’s death stare that she is shooting my way.

  Micah passes me a microphone and pushes a stool towards my shaking legs.

  “Thanks-meow-woof-woof-meow-rag-slap-bag-Buck-buck-buck.” Oh, sweet lord a chicken sound. That shit’s new. I shake my head as my body jolts and the body tics start.

  “
See look at the poor excuse for what Colton calls a queen,” Larissa heckles out as the extremely quiet crowd looks on. Tenley stands up as I watch her eye Larissa. Cleo stands from the couch to the right of the se7en sitting there.

  “Fuck up,” Cleo calls out to her. “Sit your fake ass down, bitch,” she calls again as Larissa stands to walk toward the stage.

  “We want blue blood we require prestige, not this.” She waves her hands in front of her, pointing towards me.

  “You want another broken nose?” Tenley hollers as the crowd all begin to laugh and snicker.

  “Fuck them, sing to me,” Colton says to me as he steps closer. I fall back onto the seat, nodding at him.

  “Ready.”

  He walks over to the piano that has been pulled out for him. Wow, didn’t even know he could play. Then he starts to play the cords to the one song that is currently my favorite, P!nks Love Me Anyway, and it’s the song I sang to him the other day. He remembers. My god, he remembers it all. Closing my eyes, I sing the first notes and the whole crowd goes deadly quiet. As I flutter my eyes open, sliding from the stool it feels like I am walking on air toward him. Micah smiles from the side of me, nodding as I step past him. It feels like it’s just us though. As we look into each other’s eyes, the melody takes over, sending shivers down my spine as the goosebumps break out all over my body. Stealing a glance into the crowd, I see Cleo, her arms wrapped around herself as she sways, her eyes locked on Cohen as she mouths the words to him. Colton’s voice harmonizes with mine as he sings back at me.

  We both battle out the ballad to each other, questioning each other’s commitment to this insane love story that is forming before us.