The Christmas Promise

by Janice Carter

  When she finished blow-drying her hair, she changed into the black jeans and cobalt blue turtleneck for her meeting with Grace. She posed briefly in front of the long mirror hanging on the outside the bathroom door. She seldom thought much about her appearance—that side of her had disappeared long ago—but the possibility that she might encounter Ben somewhere in town had her nervously self-doubting every aspect of her mirror image.

  Since her talk wasn’t until the next day, Ella decided to leave her car in the parking space out front of the hotel and walk to the bookstore. The cool air would be invigorating and help calm her nerves. Grace had emailed directions, not that Ella had needed them, and less than fifteen minutes later she was standing on the sidewalk, reading the stenciled signs on the front door window—Novel Thinking and, below it, Henry Jenkins Prop. Grace had mentioned that Henry had retired. Frankly, Ella had been slightly surprised that he was still alive, since he’d seemed old seventeen years ago. But when she was sixteen, everyone over thirty verged on old age.

  Every summer she and Grace had divided their wish list of books and shared them, until that last summer, when her interest in books had flagged whenever Ben Winters was around. Ella took a deep breath. That’s old history now, Jacobs. Get on with this. She had no idea what she was going to say to Grace or how their meeting would go. Better to let Grace take the lead, since she’d sent the invite. And she was the one who would have to make the apology. That’s what Ella had come for after all. Not really to speak to a handful of people about her book. No. She wanted to look Grace Winters right in the eye. She wanted to hear “I’m sorry” in person. Hopefully today, but definitely before she left the Cove for the very last time.

  Ella counted to ten and pushed open the door. The bell above it tinkled, and a memory of the store’s cool dark interior juxtaposed against hot summer days rushed at her, causing her to stop suddenly to catch her breath. She could see the faint yellow glow of a lamp ahead, but otherwise there was no sign of anyone.

  “Hello?” Clearing her throat, Ella managed another “Hello” before walking toward the light. On the way, she passed a table set up with a poster that she knew her publisher had sent and some of her books, which Grace must have purchased. The adult Grace Winters seemed to be more organized than the teen one. But the store itself hadn’t changed much except for a computer in place of the big cash register that had once perched on the central counter. The only thing missing was Henry himself, though considering the heavy stomp of footsteps coming up the stairs from below, Ella figured he just might magically appear. Unless Grace was wearing very big shoes.

  The door behind the counter swung open and a large masculine figure loomed at the top of the staircase. Not Henry. Definitely not Grace. Ben.

  Ella tried, but failed, to speak.

  He moved into the orbit of the lamplight, and Ella’s first thought was, Ben—yet not Ben. Not the one in my memory anyway.

  “Ella,” he said, his voice deeper than she remembered. He was carrying a cardboard carton, which he set down on the counter as he moved toward her.

  Her next thought was that he wasn’t surprised to see her. Well, of course, Grace would have told him about her visit.

  “Um, I trust you had a good trip here.”

  Small talk? After seventeen years? She’d have rallied to make some indignant retort, but her brain, chugging along in first gear, was trying to process this adult version of the Ben Winters she’d dreamed about daily the summer she was sixteen. The pitch-black curly hair that once had bordered on being a tad too long was now shorter. His neck and torso had broadened into the firm, muscular shape of a man who kept fit. But his face, even with its shadow of bristles, was the same. Thick eyebrows above inky black eyes and the Winters nose, more prominent now in manhood, that Ella remembered from his father’s face. Lines around the eyes and the circles beneath them told another story about this grown-up version of Ben, and for one irrational second Ella wanted to reach out a hand to touch his face and learn that story. Of course, she stopped short of anything more than “Hello. I was expecting Grace.”

  “Sorry. Grace had to run some errands, but she asked me to hang around in case you arrived before she got back.”

  “If the store was closed, I’d have returned later.” She noticed his slight wince and adjusted her tone. “I mean, she needn’t have imposed on you.”

  He gave a half-hearted shrug. “Yeah, well...you know Gracie.”

  It was exactly the comment he might have made back then and for a moment Ella was mentally transported to Ben’s bedroom, its poster-lined walls and desk cluttered with books—and her, sprawled next to him on the floor at the foot of his bed, their heads connected by earphones and bobbing silently in unison to the summer playlist. She shifted her attention to the display table, unable to look at him any longer, afraid of what she might say.

  “She...uh...she should be here any second,” he added.

  Ella didn’t dare look up. His flat voice told her he was as uncomfortable as she was. The quiet room closed in on her. She’d resolved to make her comeback to the Cove as the strong, confident woman she’d grown into, not the tongue-tied sixteen-year-old completely in love—or so she’d thought—with Grace’s big brother. This wasn’t a good start.

  Then anger rose, choking any chance of normal conversation. Anger at herself, for reverting so instantly to that smitten teenager, and especially at Grace, who surely could have done her last-minute shopping later. Unless... No, she wouldn’t have. Would she?

  Ella sighed, yielding to the dark suspicion that once again, Grace had set her up.

  CHAPTER TWO

  BEN COULDN’T TAKE his eyes off her. The girl he’d developed a crush on when he was eighteen was definitely no longer a girl. The curves beneath her black jeans and short black down winter jacket were testament to the very obvious fact that Ella Jacobs was all grown up. But there were other signs of maturity, too, especially around the eyes; a gossamer web of lines at the corners and pale circles beneath that looked as though she’d tried to conceal them with makeup. Her shoulder-length hair was styled differently than he remembered, but her eyes were the same dazzling azure, and right then, they met his with an intensity that made him shift his attention to the display table behind her.

  “Um, Grace has set up a table for your books and she thought you might be able to sign some now to save time tomorrow. She should be back soon.” He peered at his watch to avert her steely eyed expression. “She went to pick up coffee and stuff for after your talk.” He heard her give a loud sigh.

  “Sure. Whatever. Guess I might as well.”

  She walked over to the table and set her tote bag on it, slung her shoulder bag on the back of a chair and then unzipped her jacket. When she turned around, Ben had to look away again, struck by the brilliance of the formfitting blue sweater against her pale ash-blond hair. Yeah, the girl was most definitely a woman now—a beautiful one.

  He watched her unpack items from the tote bag, wishing he could think of something to say that wouldn’t be inane or just plain foolish. There was a time when he and Ella didn’t need small talk. For a few weeks that summer, they’d seemed to be able to read each other’s minds and finish sentences for one another no matter the topic. But now the weight of knowing there was one subject he had to avoid at all costs pressed in on him. If only Grace would come back.

  When she was settled with a pile of books in front of her and marker in hand, Ella looked up. “Feel free to finish whatever you were doing when I got here.”

  Her comment stung. This was how two people acted when they hadn’t seen each other for seventeen years? He realized he’d deluded himself about the whole return-to-the-Cove scenario he’d been picturing ever since Grace had told him Ella was coming back.

  “Sure,” he said and began to unpack the carton Grace had asked him to bring up from the basement. Except for the scratching of Ella’s marker
as she signed books, silence filled the room while he took out paper cups, napkins and paper plates from the box. He’d just finished when he heard the doorbell tinkle, and relief worked its way up from the pit of his stomach. Grace was back.

  Ben noticed right away that his sister was as nervous as he was, although someone who didn’t know her might mistake her bubbly greeting for enthusiasm. “Good heavens, you’re here! Welcome back to the Cove, Ella.”

  Grace placed two shopping bags on the cash counter and extended both arms as if to hug her, but Ella quickly grabbed Grace’s right hand in a limp shake. Grace’s beaming smile slipped a bit and Ben felt sorry for her.

  “I hope Ben has been entertaining you in my absence.”

  Ella shot a bemused expression his way. “Hmm, have you, Ben?”

  He felt Grace’s eyes on him and knew she was correctly interpreting the heat in his face and his half-hearted shrug. This reunion was going downhill rapidly.

  “I’m thrilled that you accepted my invitation, Ella,” Grace went on to say. “People—especially teenage girls—have been coming into the store all week to ask about your presentation and buy your book.”

  Ella smiled for the first time. “That’s wonderful. Thanks for inviting me, Grace.”

  “Are you staying at The Lighthouse Hotel?”

  “Yes I am.” She gave a small laugh. “I was always so enchanted by that place as a kid, but now I realize it’s seen better days.”

  Grace glanced quickly at Ben. He guessed what she was thinking.

  “That’s true. Our cousin Suzanna is the owner now, and she’s been struggling. The Cove has had some tough years since the lobster industry here collapsed, but you probably saw the new development on the highway as you drove in. That’s Ben’s pet project these days,” Grace explained.

  “Did you go into architecture, then?” She turned to him.

  “I did, but since I’ve been working for my father, I’ve become more interested in the building part of it rather than the designing.” Ben saw right away that she was thinking back to one of their favorite conversations that summer—what to do when we grow up. His dream had been to design world-class buildings all over the world, like those of I. M. Pei. He knew she was a reporter but wondered what had happened to her vow to become an investigative journalist—the kind who traveled the world to expose conspiracies or political scandals. In spite of this inauspicious meeting, Ben was curious to find out what had become of her own teenage aspirations.

  “When you’re finished here, would you like to have a walk around the town with me? See how it’s changed?” he impulsively asked.

  “Sure.”

  Not exactly an overwhelming reaction, Ben thought, but it was a first step. Toward what, he couldn’t say. Reconciliation seemed unrealistic.

  The doorbell sounded. “That’ll be a customer. Would you mind putting this stuff away for me in the fridge in the storeroom, Ben?” Grace tilted her head toward the back of the store. “And, Ella, I was hoping to treat you to dinner tonight. How about I meet you in the hotel lobby at six?”

  “Oh? Thanks, Grace.” Ella pushed aside the books she’d signed. “That’s probably enough for now. Do you have any idea how many people will show up tomorrow? My publisher sent me with a box of books, as well.”

  “I’m not sure,” Grace said.

  Ben caught a glimpse of her frown as he walked by her with the grocery bags. He wondered if she was put off by the lack of enthusiasm for the dinner invite. He stowed the cream, milk and baked goods in the fridge, and by the time he returned, Grace was talking to a customer and Ella was putting on her jacket.

  “Do you want to have that walk now or would you prefer later in the afternoon?” he asked.

  “Now is okay. Unless you have to get back to work or something.”

  “I have some time off.” In fact he’d taken the whole day off. “But if you’d rather...?”

  “Now is fine. I’d planned to walk around anyway.”

  “Great. I’ll get my coat.” He retrieved his jacket from the closet in the back room, and when he returned, she was waiting by the front door. Grace flashed a thumbs-up signal that he found irritating. He wondered if the whole book-signing invite had been engineered to arrange this reunion. As much as he loved his sister, her tendency to plan and organize other people’s affairs was vexing. He just hoped Ella didn’t think he had anything to do with the scheme.

  He noticed Ella’s expensive-looking leather boots as he followed her out the door. “Um, will those be okay for walking around? The main sidewalks will be cleared, but I can’t vouch for the side streets.”

  “I think they’ll be okay. If not, you might have to carry me.”

  Right there in the glint in her eyes, Ben saw the teenage Ella. He smiled. “I’m sure I could handle that.”

  She quickly glanced away as if she didn’t want to be caught smiling, too.

  “Anywhere in particular first?”

  “You’re my tour guide. You decide.”

  “Maybe up to Town Square, then backtrack down to Main Street and my favorite bakery and coffee shop.”

  “Sounds good. Lead on, then.”

  A thin layer of old, packed snow remained on the sidewalks, enough to worry about slipping if you weren’t careful. That prompted Ben to place his hand against the small of her back, but as soon as he did so, Ella gave a slight twist, shaking off his touch. The subtle move reminded him that as much as he wanted to believe they could revert to their teenage selves, they were eons away from that time. The most he could hope for, he now realized with a pang, would be a tenuous reacquaintance. The kind you experience with old friends at high school reunions.

  They walked up Porter Street toward the square in the center of town. There hadn’t been a fresh snowfall in days. People in town were complaining, but as Ben’s mother kept saying, “Be careful what you wish for.” It was a sentiment Ben totally agreed with. The construction business ran more efficiently without a lot of snow on the ground, and Winters Building Ltd. couldn’t afford to lose any more business.

  Ella suddenly spoke. “I’ve never seen the Cove in winter.”

  Ben turned to look at her. “I hadn’t thought of that. You always got to see it at the best time of year.”

  “True. I’m not a big fan of winter, but there’s a kind of rugged beauty to it.”

  “Me neither,” he admitted. “But you’re right, it can be beautiful.”

  “I take it you haven’t been here much in winter yourself the last few years. Grace implied you only came back when your father had his surgery.”

  “Dad’s surgery was in January last year, so this is my second winter. I’ve come back for a few Christmases over the years, but only for a couple of days.”

  “Sounds like you didn’t get home much.”

  “No.”

  “Why was that?”

  “Too many bad memories.” The answer slipped out before he could stop it, and Ben silently cursed himself for raising the topic to be avoided at all costs. That summer weekend.

  She fell silent and, keeping her eyes on the square ahead, suddenly marched forward as if in a hurry to catch a bus. Ben caught up to her when she halted at the south end of the square. A skating rink, framed by a series of long wooden benches, covered most of that area. Except for a couple putting on skates, the place was deserted.

  “This’ll be full of people on the weekend,” Ben commented, noticing Ella looking at the rink. Then he pointed to the north end closest to the town hall. A crane hovered over the top of a giant Christmas tree while a man leaned from its bucket to install a large star. Other workers on ladders were weaving strings of lights through the tree branches. Yellow warning tape had been set up around the perimeter of the site, and beyond it, groups of people mingled, watching the decorating.

  “That must be pretty when it’s lit.�
��

  “It is. The official lighting ceremony is this Saturday night.” He hesitated. “Will you be here for it by any chance?”

  She glanced quickly at him before turning her gaze back to the tree. “I’m booked into the hotel for two nights, so no, afraid not.”

  His disappointment took him aback. Hadn’t Grace already told him Ella was in town for two or three days at the most? He really had to stop kidding himself about her return. In fact it wasn’t a return at all—just a short visit. Nothing more. “There’s the new library.” He pointed to the opposite side of the square. “We’re hoping it’ll be finished by early spring. Work on it has stalled at the moment, waiting for town council to approve some additional expenses we proposed.”

  “Is your father’s company building it?”

  “Yeah.” Ben wished he could reply “You mean my company.”

  “What used to be there?”

  “The old movie theater. Remember The Clarion? I’m sure it was still here in our...when you...” He stopped abruptly, overcome by a memory flash of sitting in a cool, dark cinema on a hot summer day, holding hands with the girl standing beside him. Not this Ella, though.

  “Oh yeah” was all she said, clearly untouched by the same association. “It’ll be nice for the town to have its own library,” she went on to say. “No more begging parents to drive to Portland for library books.”

  Her smile nudged Ben’s spirits. “True. Grace sometimes complained about that, in spite of being a regular customer of Henry’s.”

  “I envied her that, but she was always generous lending me the books she bought with her allowance, which was substantially larger than mine. How is Henry, by the way? Grace wrote that he’d retired.”

  “Just the same, though right now he’s recuperating from a hip replacement. He’s in a rehab hospital in Portland.”

  “Oh?” She frowned. “Well, I’m glad to hear he’s recovering.” She pivoted around, scanning the rest of the square. “It sure looks different in the winter. Bleaker, less inviting.”