by Karin Dahan
I remember how excited and proud my parents were when they realized I never forgot a word or book I read. They would have done anything to have that skill, to be able to memorize the research books by just reading it once; never going over the same studies again and again searching for answers. When they told Edward, he had insisted that I read a diverse volume of books, everything from science to history to
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art. Part of him saw me as a research project. He found my skill fascinating. I remember that I just wanted to be normal, to fit in. In class, I would pretend to be not have the answers, not remembering the homework assignment or be too quick with raising my hand.
Now, I’m thankful. My past years would have been difficult without all of that memorized information about botany, plant care, which mushrooms are safe to eat, how to fix electrical wiring problems and now how to handle a horse. I’m thankful my parents and Edward urged me to read daily and that Edward managed to get me a constant flow of new literature. Although, books about self-defense or how to tell if someone is lying sure would have come in handy.
Fall is growing colder and colder each day, almost with each passing hour. My breath comes out as a grey cloud and the leaves on the ground have white frost on their edges today. I have been riding all night, something that will not be possible in a few weeks when the real cold sets in.
I move restlessly in the saddle, trying to shake off the numbness that are spreading in my legs. Every muscle in my body hurts. I can tell Rose is getting tired too. She has a harder time finding her balance on
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the uneven ground. I push her forward, knowing it will be safer for us to continue. I can’t believe that I used to like the fall and winter. Now I dread it. I had such a comfortable life in my treehouse and didn’t even appreciate it.
I see smoke in the distance, its ashy color moving like a snake in the air above the tree line. A smile covers my face, “We are almost there now girl …” I run my hand over Rose’s neck, trying to offer some sort of comfort. To think that Morrick said pets were stupid and unnecessary. What an idiot. My face is getting warm from embarrassment just thinking about him and his stupid grin. How did I fall for that? How can I be such a bad judge of character? I still can’t fathom how a person can do what he did; all for a paycheck. Is that just the world in which we live? Is everyone so desperate for food and shelter that they abandon what’s morally right? How can Tenebris let everyone live like this?
Suddenly, Rose comes to a stop. Her ears perk up and she moves her head to look around. She nervously starts to prance, and I see panic in her eyes. “Shh, calm down. Shh.”
I focus on staying in my saddle as she moves restlessly under me. I hear a branch crack to my left. Before I can even move my head in
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the direction of the noise, a dark figure jumps in front of Rose, making her raise her front legs to defend herself. I try to hold on, but the force of her is too much. I fall to the frozen ground, landing on my back. The air is knocked out from my lungs, making me panic for a second, as I try to get oxygen into my body. It feels like time is standing still until I can finally draw the first jagged breath. I cough and try to sit up, remembering that I still need to get away from the danger that scared Rose.
As I get on my shaky legs, something hits the back of my calves with such power that my legs buckle underneath me. I’m once again on my back trying to catch my breath. A long stick pushes on my chest, keeping me from trying to get up again. I see the shadow of the person holding the stick standing next to me, holding onto Rose’s reins in the other hand.
“Don’t try to get up again, or I will hurt you,” a female voice says, full of command and authority. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”
I try to speak but instead I cough uncontrollably. The woman doesn’t offer me any help. She just waits patiently for me to stop. After a while, I can finally manage to get some words out. “Edward sent me
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… I’m his niece.” The stick on my chest is removed in an instant and I scramble to get up from the frozen ground as fast as possible. It’s difficult with my muscles so sore. Still, the woman doesn’t stop to help. “I’m guessing you’re Adira?” I put my palms on my knees to steady my breath.
“Why did Edward send you?”
As I stand, I’m surprised that the woman in front of me is not much taller than I am. She seemed so much bigger when I was lying on the ground. Something about her stance and her body language is still intimidating. I can’t make out her face as a hood keeps it hidden. I brush off the leaves from my legs before offering my hand to properly introduce myself. “I’m Eddie.” My hand is left hanging in the air. I let it fall to my side as this person is obviously not ecstatic to meet me. She doesn’t move a muscle or attempt to speak. After a minute of silence, I can’t take it anymore.
“Look, I went to see Edward yesterday and he said that I wasn’t safe with him. He said you used to be friends; that you two worked for the Rebellion. Well, so did my parents.” I’m rambling now, too nervous to stop myself. “They worked for the Rebellion too and it got them killed. Now Tenebris knows I’m alive. I wasn’t safe at Edward’s
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apartment, so he told me that you would help; that you would let me stay with you until he could figure out what to do next.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth? What proof do you have?”
I clench my hands. Why didn’t Edward prepare me for this? He should have given me some heads up that Adira would be difficult. I rack my brain at trying to think of what to give as proof. “If you look in my backpack over there, you can see that he marked a map with your location on it. That’s all he gave me.”
She nods her head in the direction of my bag, indicating that I should go and pick it up. I walk over and take out the map. My fingers freeze the moment I take my gloves off. I hand it to her, but she shakes her head. “You hold it up.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes at her bossiness, but I do as I’m told. I have no other option. The gloomy morning light makes it difficult to see, so Adira bring out a flashlight while she eyes the map, never letting go of her stick. Rose has calmed down now. She must sense Adira’s authoritative personality because she stands obediently still next to her even when Adira drops the rains.
After studying the map for a second she simply turns around and
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walks away, Rose tracking behind her like she has a new owner, ready to abandon me without a thought. “Can I go with you then?” I don’t get an answer. All I hear are the footsteps slowly fading in the distance. I quickly follow them.
The thick vegetation would make it impossible to walk through if it wasn’t for a small and hidden path that Adira leads me and Rose down. She doesn’t say a word or even acknowledge my presence as she moves with ease and grace over the uneven ground. We stop in front of a large hedge with thorny green spikes and bright red berries. The colors are a stark contrast to the Fall palette around us. The hedge is grown wild and high, looking impenetrable. I watch in amazement as Adira reaches her hand into two spots in the hedge and without much effort she pushes open a square, a pre-cut door that is well hidden. She holds it open and leads a hesitant Rose in, letting the thorny branches fall back behind them. I jump to avoid being hit by it smack in the face. Edward should have warned me about this woman.
A clearing opens in front of us. A small wooden house sits in the center, the worn wooden planks on it looks as old as the trees surrounding us. Adira leads Rose to the back of the house where she
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opens a door and nudges her inside. Then, she walks up on the porch and opens the front door, warm yellow light spilling out as she does. I just stand still, suddenly I feel like an intruder. Adira clearly wasn’t pleased with the surprise guest.
“I’m not leaving the door open much longer. So, either you come in now or you spend the night outside.” Her stern voice makes it clear she is not kidding. I
take that as an invitation and quickly run to the door, not wanting to risk getting locked out. The warm air inside makes my body relax in an instant and my face burns from the sudden change of temperature.
Adira is standing in front of the fireplace, placing more large logs into the dancing flames. She has removed her cloak now and I have a minute to study her more carefully. She has a small figure, not much bigger than me but her body looks strong. Her stance reminds me of someone in the military. Her long black hair is pulled to a ponytail in her neck, shining in the lights from the fire. Although she must be my parents’ age, her skin is smooth and has some sense of agelessness to it. She turns her head slightly and her brown eyes meet mine. I look away directly, embarrassed for having stared at her. I take off my jacket and shoes and place them by the door. The sparsely decorated cabin only
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has one room and from first glance I guess that it’s lacking electricity.
“Edward told me you used to work for Tenebris, I…”
“Do not speak his name in this house,” Adira cuts me off. It’s a mere whisper but the words drip of anger.
“Sorry,” I try to find the words to continue. “I’m sorry I came here and intruded on your life. It wasn’t my choice. Edward made this decision for me.”
“Then, why are you here?” She leans casually on the stone mantle by the fireplace but she’s studying me with an intense gaze.
“Eh … I told you. Edward told me to come.” She doesn’t respond; just raises one eyebrow at my statement. I continue to try to make her understand. “Well, he made a good point. That Ten…I mean, that the government, as of yesterday, knows that I’m alive and is looking for me. You worked with the Rebellion so I’m sure you know that my parents did as well. It got them killed, which means I’m sure people are looking for me. I trust Edward. I’m not used to situations like this.”
Adira looks bored from the conversation and goes over to the kitchen in the corner and starts clearing the dishes that are in the overfull sink. Everything in Edward’s home was neat and organized.
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Each kitchen utensil had a specific place. Adria’s house is completely the opposite.
The days go by in a blur. Adira makes me help around the house. Each morning she gives me a list of things that I need to get done. I’m usually not finished until the sun has set. And by that time, I’m too exhausted to do anything else than sleep. But it keeps me busy; too busy to think about all of the people that I have lost, at least during the day. Each night I dream about Morrick and what he did to Rufus and Gilbert. Each night I wake up in cold sweats from seeing their lifeless bodies, even in my dreams I can never save them. I’m guessing Adira knows of my restless sleep, but she never asks me about it. Instead, she continues to be cold and quiet, only talking to me when she needs me to do something. The first few evenings I try to make conversation, find out more about who she is and why she left the Rebellion so suddenly. But she never answers, just acts like she doesn’t hear my questions.
As I try to go to sleep on the seventh night, my body refuses to relax. I feel like I’m in some sort of prison and every nerve of my being is screaming for me to get out. I can’t take her quiet company any longer. Just waiting here for Edward to send for me is driving me crazy.
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What if I’m waiting in vain? Maybe something happened? I’m starting to dislike his arguments for keeping the recipe hidden. It’s too risky to keep to ourselves. If something would happen to me now, all my parents’ work would be for nothing. Losing their lives would be for nothing. What grounds does Edward even have to not trust the Rebellion? I know from experience he never makes decisions unless it’s based on knowledge. But if that was the case why wouldn’t he share what he knew with me? The longer it takes for this recipe to get out, the longer people are starving and struggling.
Adira worked for the Rebellion. She must know something about them. Did she leave them because they weren’t trustworthy? She has to talk to me. Tomorrow I will refuse her list of tasks and demand some answers. Part of me worries about what I might hear. If she tells me the Rebellion is trustworthy, what do I do? Do I defy Edward’s wishes and venture out to try to find them on my own? Or do I go to Edward with it, hoping that the dictator hasn’t heightened the security just waiting for me to show up? None of the options are appealing. Still, I know that I can’t just stay here, acting like nothing is happening. No. Tomorrow I will demand some answers.
I wake up from the bright sun that filters in through the window.
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Adira doesn’t have any curtains. I suppose she dislikes sleeping as well. I rub my eyes and stretch my body to get ready for the day. Adira is nowhere to be seen, but it’s not unusual for her to be outside this early. I walk over to the kitchen to fix myself something to eat and see a small note next to the kettle.
Out hunting. /Adira
Even in her notes she doesn’t waste words. Disappointment fills me as I realize I won’t be able to get any answers today. I go and lay down on the mattress on the floor, my temporary bed. Maybe I should just stay in bed today, not move a muscle; enjoy the solitude of not having the grumpy Adira around. Unfortunately, my mind won’t stay quiet and my body feels like it’s full of tiny ants, crawling around, making it impossible to stay still.
I can’t go back to the way life was when my only concern was caring for myself, blinded by my own motivation of staying alive, closing my eyes to the less fortunate ones and the politics of it all. I wish I could. It was easier that way. Now the guilt of what I know eats at my every sense, constantly reminding me of how many people lost
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their lives to make others better, to make a difference in the world. I owe it to my parents to at least try to continue what they started. If I make a difference, maybe the burning guilt over Rufus’ and Gilbert’s death will fade and the nightmares will stop.
I get up and look through the small cabin. Adira might have something here that can help me find out more about the Rebellion.
My fingers fumble as I pull out one drawer after the next, constantly listening for sounds that she’s back. If she’s hunting, I shouldn’t have to worry, she would be gone for hours, if not days.
Searching the one room building doesn’t take long, but I come up empty. Not even a crumb of her personal life can be found within these walls. Did she leave everything behind when she left the government work? I don’t believe so. Everyone has something they hold dear from their past, some kind of sentimental memorabilia.
I look around the room more closely this time, Adira was the Head of Security, after all. She would be good at protecting her belongings.
I run my hands along the wall, searching for an uneven piece or a hollow sound. Then, I do the same to the floor. Still nothing. I’m losing my patience and I’m getting less careful at putting things back
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the exact way they were. I push the heavy dresser that is standing against the wall to search the floor and wall behind it. As I do, a small screw falls to the floor. I drop to my knees to pick it up and put it back and that’s when I notice the worn wooden plank that makes up the backside of the furniture. The coloring looks different than the rest and the screws that hold it in place are worn down, like they have been used several times.
My curiosity takes over and without thinking I have already grabbed a knife from the kitchen to use as a screwdriver. With each screw I remove, my heartbeat picks up. I can’t help myself from glancing back at the door every few seconds, scared that Adira will walk in and see what I’m doing. Suddenly, I’m not so sure this was a good idea. What if she finds me here, searching her house? Will she throw me out? I would assume so. She has no obligations to keep me safe. My palms are sticky from the sweat. Just as the last screw falls to the floor, the back panel of the dresser tips over, landing hard on my legs. “Ooooh, damn it,” I exclaim as I clench my jaw to keep myself from screaming out curse words. “Stupid dresser…”
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trinkets. I remain sitting, examining one of the papers in front of me first. It’s the largest one, double folded. I open it and it takes me a second before I realize what I’m holding. It’s the blueprint for a building, a government one to be sure. It marks all the important aspects; the vents, the rooms, the security cameras, hidden doors and passages, interrogation rooms, holding cells. As I realize what I have in my hands, I’m suddenly nauseous. Was this the place where my parents came? Was it in one of the interrogation rooms in which my mom took her last breath while being beaten by Tenebris? Tears cloud my vision and all I want to do is throw away this paper. The evil seems to sip through its ink. Still, I can’t loosen my grip. I can’t even look away.
The noise of the door closing makes me jump. I turn my head to see Adira standing there. Her warrior-like posture gives her a deadly look. I should be scrambling to explain, to come with some excuse for intruding on her personal life, but I know I can’t. Instead, I just sit holding the map so hard my knuckles have gone white.
