I'd Rather Not (KPD Motorcycle Patrol Book 3)

by Lani Lynn Vale

  Instead, he took his glasses off and cleaned them on his coat pocket.

  “Yes,” he answered. “Very safe. Would you like to discuss prescriptions for them?”

  I nodded. “Yes, I would.”

  “Okay,” he said. “You have multiple options. A daily pill—which should be quite easy for you since you’re already taking your pills. A ring that gets inserted in the vagina for three weeks, removed for one to allow for your period. There’s also an IUD which, quite honestly, might be the best option for you. Doctors wouldn’t usually consider an IUD on someone that hasn’t had a pregnancy and so young, but there are always extenuating circumstances.”

  I thought about it for a while.

  “I’m thinking the pill for now, and the IUD as a long-term solution,” I finally admitted.

  That, and I wanted the birth control today. I’d have to wait a bit for the IUD seeing as Dr. Page wasn’t a gynecologist, and I assumed he wouldn’t be able to put it in today.

  “Sounds acceptable,” Dr. Page said as he pulled out a prescription pad from his pocket. “I’ll write you three months’ worth. But I still want to see you back in a month for labs like we discussed.”

  With my marching orders and a brand-new prescription for birth control, I headed out of the office and to my car.

  I reached in my purse for my phone and extracted it after only searching the bottomless pit for less than a minute.

  I had my phone and was placing the call moments later.

  “Hey, baby,” my father said. “What’s up?”

  It was a common occurrence for me to update my parents on my progress and how my doctors’ appointments went, but today, instead of just texting, I called. I had other things that I wanted to discuss before I got all the way to where I was meeting Pace for lunch.

  “You have a second?” I asked softly.

  I heard movement in the background, as well as the low chatter of what I assumed was the bullpen at work.

  Then there was a slam of a door, and quiet.

  “I’m all ears,” he said. “I’m in my office. They should give me about ten minutes of alone time before they come and ask anything of me.”

  The teasing nature of my father was something I’d missed over the last year. He always felt so guilty any time he was around me that it was nice seeing him back to normal.

  Instead of pussyfooting around what I had to say, I just went ahead and told him everything.

  “My lease is up on my house, and the owners want to sell it,” I said. “They gave me the option of buying it.”

  “Okay,” Dad said. “And…”

  “And Pace asked me to move in with him,” I all but blurted.

  “What is making you not want to move in with him?” Dad asked quietly.

  I thought about that for a long moment and then decided, to hell with it.

  “What if he changes his mind?” I asked just as quietly.

  Barely audible.

  “What if he asks you to marry him in two weeks, y’all live to be ninety-eight, and then die within hours of each other?” he asked.

  I sighed and looked out of the Jeep, wondering why I even bothered.

  My dad liked Pace. He liked him a lot. In fact, he liked him so much that I could tell he really, really wanted me to be with Pace.

  I knew as well that if Pace ever asked my dad for my hand in marriage, my dad would likely offer to fly to Vegas with us just so he could get it done fast.

  Which was saying something because my dad did not like flying. Not even a little bit.

  “I guess I’m just scared,” I admitted. “I’m worried that he’s going to realize that I’m not this grand prize that he thinks I am. That he gave up a lot to save me by donating his kidney. That one day he’s going to come to the realization that I’m too much trouble.” I paused. “Dad, this kidney may only last five years. Hell, I could reject it next week. What if I do, and I literally just ruined his kidney? All of that would be for nothing.”

  My dad made a sound in the back of his throat that was akin to panic.

  When the silence went on too long, I sighed.

  “Dad,” I said, knowing that he was freaking out now. “It’ll be okay.”

  “It will,” he agreed, sounding unconvinced. “I think that you need to trust in that yourself.”

  I snickered.

  “If I had to kill someone to get that kidney for you, just so you could live, I would.”

  I froze when I realized that Pace was standing right outside my Jeep. When had he gotten there? How had he gotten there without me knowing?

  “That him?” Dad asked.

  I made an ‘uh-huh’ sound and said, “I’ll call you back later.”

  He laughed as he hung up the phone without saying I love you or goodbye. Two things he always made sure to do.

  I let the phone drop and looked at the man that had his face closed off.

  He was dressed in his work uniform and he had his helmet tucked up under one arm. The other was resting on the rollbars of the Jeep as if he’d been standing there a while.

  “Uhhh,” I said.

  “You could’ve talked to me if you were scared.”

  I leaned my head back against the seat and groaned.

  “I didn’t want to freak you out,” I admitted.

  “So how about you tell me everything that’s freaking you out,” he said. “We addressed one of those things last night. Now I’m learning that you’re worried about living past five years…I thought we’d talked about this?”

  We had.

  But just because we’d talked about it didn’t make the worry go away. It was a serious concern.

  Five to ten years is the average span that a donated kidney could last. In possibly five years, I could be in the same boat I was in just a few short months ago. And not only would I be leaving my family behind, but now I might be leaving Pace.

  And I seriously didn’t like the idea of that.

  Then again, maybe in five years, he wouldn’t be around.

  Jesus Christ, my head was a mess.

  “What’s putting that look on your face?” he asked.

  I didn’t bother to hide my fears.

  “One, what if we don’t even make it to five years?” I asked.

  “One?” he grinned. “Okay, let’s address this one by one.” He rounded the Jeep and took the passenger seat. “Drive over to Sonic. I’m hungry. I have an hour to address all these problems that you speak of. Tonight, I’m helping you move in with me.”

  I would’ve laughed had he not looked utterly serious.

  “Shit,” I groaned.

  “Start it up,” he ordered.

  Since I didn’t have a valid argument not to start it up, I did, and then pulled two parking lots over into the Sonic.

  Pace got out and ordered, knowing my order without asking, and then got back in after paying.

  “I’ll be with you in five years,” he told me bluntly. “I’ve wanted nothing more than to have you for quite a bit longer than you can even imagine. So, I have zero doubt in my mind that in five years, we’ll be married. We’ll be living in a bigger house, and we’ll be filling all of the rooms with our babies.”

  My breath caught.

  “And to address the other worry. The worry you discussed with your dad on the phone.” He looked over at me, making sure to make full eye contact with me. “I will find you a kidney. I don’t care if we have to move to Tijuana and find you a kidney on the black market. I don’t care if we have to rip it out of someone’s body without their permission. I don’t care if I have to take out a billboard in Times Square, using every single bit of my savings to do it. I’ll make sure that we find you a kidney. In five years. Ten. Fifteen. We’ll make sure that you get what you need.”

  I didn’t realize it until he leaned over and wiped away a tear that I was crying.

  But it was the sweetest thing he’d ever said to me.
>
  “I would rather leave moving to Tijuana as a last resort.” I snickered through the tears.

  He didn’t grin. He did reply with ‘noted’ though.

  My heart already felt lighter.

  “What else?” he asked.

  I swallowed hard.

  “I don’t know why you like me,” I told him honestly. “But I’m going to stop overthinking things. I’m going to stop acting like a girl and just go with the flow…okay?”

  He laughed then.

  The sound was so beautiful that my heart swelled.

  “I promise,” I said. “I’ll stop.”

  He pulled me in by looping one hand around my neck, pressing a kiss to my mouth that was both hard and soft all at once.

  “If you have a worry,” he said quietly, pulling back. “I want you to address it with me. I don’t want you having silent freak outs in your head when I ask you to marry me next.”

  I must’ve looked just as shell shocked as I felt because when he got a good look at my face after kissing me one more time, he started to laugh.

  “Jesus, your face.” He snickered. “I love it.”

  “What else do you love?” I asked teasingly.

  “I love when you smile at me. I love when you throw yourself in my arms, knowing without a single doubt in your mind that I’ll catch you. I love that you talk to me like I’m your closest confidant and your best friend. I love that you called your dad to talk about us and not your mom. I love that you love me.”

  I was fairly sure he would’ve continued forever had the lady delivering our food not skated up on roller blades.

  “Number one and number five?” she chirped.

  She was all of twenty and looked cute as hell in her high ponytail, tight jeans, skin-tight Sonic shirt, and roller blades.

  She was also looking at Pace like she would like to lick him up.

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Swear to God, I can’t take you anywhere,” I teased.

  He rolled his eyes at me and reached for our food.

  “Let me guess,” she said as she handed him the food. “You’re the one with the milkshake and the extra-large fries with extra cheese and chili?”

  I felt my face flame.

  What was she saying, that it was a lot of food and a girl shouldn’t be eating that?

  “Uh, yeah.” Pace jerked his chin. “Thanks.”

  “Do y’all need anything? Ketchup? Extra napkins?” She twirled a piece of her hair between her fingers.

  I opened my food and started to eat my large fries with extra cheese and chili.

  The girl’s eyes went to me and they widened.

  I wasn’t sure if it was because I’d started eating instead of answering or because she was disgusted by the amount of food that had to be mine.

  When I took a rather long slurp of my chocolate shake, Pace started to snicker.

  “Nah, I think we’re good,” he said. “Thanks, though.”

  She tossed me a look, then smiled brightly at Pace, eyeing his lower body in his pants.

  When her eyes lit on his legs, I could tell that there were about half a million questions on her mind.

  “Oh, wow,” she said. “I didn’t realize you were missing your feet. How do you live like that? Is it tough to do daily activities?”

  “He can fuck just fine, in case you were wondering,” I said around a mouthful of chili-cheese fries. “He’s actually great at it. Just yesterday he did me up against the kitchen counter. When he was done, he was able to wash the dishes, mow the lawn, and go for a short run.”

  The girl was silent for a few seconds following that statement. Pace, however, had no problem bellowing with laughter.

  “I’m…okay. Let us know if y’all need anything.” She skated off faster than she’d arrived.

  I took another bite of my fries and looked over at Pace who looked like he was having trouble breathing.

  “Are you okay?” I asked between bites.

  “You just told that girl I fucked you against the counter,” he said. “And then mowed the lawn after.”

  “Yeah, so?” I reached for my burger.

  I was starving.

  I had no idea how hungry I was until he’d forced me over here.

  He just shook his head and started to dig into his own food.

  It was as I was finishing up my chocolate shake and considering ordering another one that he said, “I love how protective you are.”

  I grinned.

  “I’m just being a decent human being,” I told him. “That girl was way out of line. Who the hell asks someone that?”

  “People are curious,” he said. “I’m not offended. I don’t mind when they ask.”

  I huffed out an annoyed breath.

  “Just because you are comfortable doesn’t mean that I am,” I said. “I’m just annoyed. I…I’m in a bad mood. I think I’m about to start my period.”

  Which explained my crazy outburst today. “I also got a prescription for birth control. I’ll start that once my period is over. Then we can do it without a condom.”

  There was utter silence from the seat beside me.

  When I chanced a look over at him, I saw that his eyes were heated and directly on me.

  “What?” I asked.

  “How long do you have to be on it for it to be effective?” he rumbled.

  I licked my lips and fidgeted in my seat.

  “He said a week,” I answered. “He also suggested I get on an IUD if I wasn’t planning on getting pregnant any time soon.”

  There was silence following that statement.

  “How many kids do you want?” I asked when he said nothing.

  I could see him sitting stiffly in the seat at my side, and I was confused. Was he scared about the question I’d just asked him or was he still focusing on the no birth control?

  “One. Maybe two.” He paused. “I’m not sure. I’m not sure how I feel about kids. I want at least one, but if that kid’s bad, I only want one.”

  I laughed at that. “You never know. You could get a really good one, have another, and then get a really bad one. I mean, that’s what happened with Ford and me!”

  Pace began to laugh and polished off the rest of his burger.

  When he was done, he walked our trash to the trash can next to the door and got the entire Sonic employee roster watching him move.

  I rolled my eyes at him when he turned on his prosthetic blades and started striding back toward me.

  He was unaware of his fan club at his back, and I couldn’t help but grin at the look they made, all pressing themselves against the glass as if they’d never seen a man in a tight uniform before.

  “What’s that look for?” he asked as he jumped in.

  I gestured to the windows and Pace’s eyes traveled there.

  And, comically, all the employees scattered, trying to look busy.

  I grinned.

  “You have a fan club,” I said.

  He grunted something under his breath.

  “What was that?” I teased.

  “Fuckin’ KPD,” he muttered. “They’re all about getting us these stupid uniforms. Then complain when we get caught on fuckin’ social media.”

  I was about to reply when Jackson pulled up in his squad car directly next to us.

  “Goddammit.” Pace looked at the roof. “I swear to God, the universe hates me.”

  Grinning, I started the Jeep up and started backing up before Sergeant Jackson could roll his window down or get out and engage us in conversation.

  “Look how that works,” I said as I drove out of the parking lot and back toward where he’d left his motorcycle. “You just ignore him, and he can’t talk to you.”

  Pace rolled his eyes.

  “Man’s showing up fucking everywhere I’m at lately,” he said. “Subway. Sonic. I’m sure he’ll find a way to drive past our place a few times on the way home, too.”r />
  I thought about telling him that I’d also seen him quite a few times as well, but I decided that maybe it would be better to keep that to myself. He already didn’t look happy to have Jackson following him. I knew he’d lose his shit if he realized that Jackson was following me, too.

  “Maybe you should just try to ignore him,” I suggested. “Or lodge a complaint against him.”

  “I’m not doing that,” he said as he eyed the motorcycle. “I’m hot as fuck, too. Does it feel hot to you?”

  I had the top off on the Jeep, as well as the doors. It was hot, but at stoplights when there was no wind in my hair, I also had the air conditioning going full blast.

  “Go back to work, Pace,” I teased. “I’ll cool you off in just a couple more hours.”

  Pace’s eyes went hot. “Yeah?”

  I grinned wickedly. “Oh, yeah.”

  ***

  I walked up to the front door of Pace’s house with my eyes on the ground, and not on what was going on in front of me.

  Had I looked up beforehand, I might’ve been able to leave without talking to the two women that were on Pace’s front porch.

  But I didn’t notice them. Not until I was inserting the passcode into the lock and looked over to find them both standing there.

  “Umm,” I said, thinking that they looked a little rough around the edges. “Can I help you?”

  Who were they?

  The older of the two women narrowed her eyes. “You tell me. You’re walking into my son’s house like you own the place. Who are you?”

  Chapter 16

  Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

  -Text from Oakley to Pace

  Pace

  I got off my bike and sat there for a long moment, head hung, wondering what in the hell that I was going to do about Jackson.

  He’d made it a point to show up almost every place that I did today while on shift, then second-guessed almost every decision I made.

  Hell, the last call that Justice and I had stopped at, he’d rolled to a stop behind our bikes and got out, walking up to us and staring over our shoulders as we’d conducted the traffic stop.

  He’d even corrected me once when I was handing the ticket to the driver, saying that he wouldn’t have given a ticket for nine over on ‘this particular road.’