My Fake Forbidden Boyfriend (Heartbreakers Book 1)

by Lindsey Hart

  I jerk up spluttering, pushing back soaked strands of my hair and blinking in shock. “What the—what—the… why the heck would you do that?”

  “Because.” Aria’s lips purse. “Because you needed a good soaking to knock some sense into you. You need to realize that all of what you just said is ridiculous. Especially the pity part. You’re amazing. You’re perfect. Saying shit like that just lets your mom win. It lets the haters win. It lets people like Inverted Dick Brad win. Don’t let them. You need to see yourself like you truly are because you are incredible. You’re my best friend. You have the best heart on the whole planet. How you even came out of your mom and dad is beyond me. Boarding school was the absolute worst, but honestly, it was truly the best, because I met you. I met you and Cassie, and for the first time, I felt like I had a family. So, you do not get to beat yourself up. You do not get to say stupid shit about yourself. You don’t even get to think it.”

  “Fine,” I huff. “You win.” I really do see that the way I acted and the stuff I said last night was pure panic and pure trash. Trash, trash, trash. It was a pity party. It was me trying to sabotage something good because I was afraid of it even starting. I was scared. I’ve been burned a few times in the past, and those flames really don’t feel that great. I didn’t want to feel them again. “I should have apologized last night. I wanted to. But I couldn’t. I just…couldn’t. I’ll call him and tell him I’m sorry.”

  Aria holds the glass out in front of her like a threat. “Don’t make me fill this up again and come in here with another pep talk. I’m just about fresh out of pep talks for the morning.”

  “Okay,” I groan. “I’ll go to LA. I’ll try and make things right. If I even can. Maybe he’s not interested. He did say he doesn’t do serious.”

  “You also didn’t give him a chance. Just because guys don’t do serious when they’re young doesn’t mean they won’t do serious if they find the right person to do serious with.”

  “And what if he makes me look and feel like a total idiot?”

  “Dude. He’s not Pin Prick Dick.” Aria claps a hand over her mouth to try and smother the laughter at her own joke. I roll my eyes, and Aria becomes serious again a few seconds later. “Really. The world isn’t all filled up with assholes. The least you can do is apologize. Go from there. You don’t have to do anything else, but you can do that. Try and make him understand your fears better. Be rational. Be kind. He obviously cared enough to send me over here, which meant he had to go through the trouble of somehow getting my number. That should tell you something right there. Suck it up and tell him it was good. Really good. Like, the best.”

  Another moan escapes me, and I slap a hand up to my still wet forehead. “I can’t say stuff like that. Normal people don’t say stuff like that.”

  Aria rolls her eyes yet again. She’s way too entertained by all of this. I can’t freaking wait for the day when someone finally crosses her path. Someone she acts all girly over. Someone she can’t stop thinking about. Someone. A special someone. I swear it’s going to happen one day, even to her, and when it does, I’m going to enjoy the hell out of it. I promise I’ll be there to dump water on her head and tell her to act rationally.

  She gives me a confidant, cocky grin that is all Aria like she knows exactly what I’m thinking, and for some reason, that grin makes me feel better. Water, high heels, pink, eye rolls, and all. Aria is here. She’s here with me when I need someone the most, whether I wanted it or not.

  But that’s what friends are for. Major cliché, but it’s the truth.

  CHAPTER 17

  Aiden

  After a long day’s work, doing pretty much nothing at all other than sitting and trying to figure out which side is my better one today, I’m glad to get the hell out of the building, away from the bright, blinding lights, and back into some real sunshine. I have absolutely no plans for the day other than to get in my car, battle the crazy traffic, and relax at home.

  It’s a good plan. I’d been up early, getting to the shoot at just past five in the morning. Though my car is scorching, it feels good to slide inside. A little like freedom. I inhale the scent of warm leather, salty air, and smog. It’s the classic LA mix. I’d thought I wanted to make a change. Do something different. Go for the change of location.

  Miami isn’t where I belong. I learned that the hard way after I got my ass kicked out of there faster than I could blink.

  I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can only blame this one on time. It’s only been a few days. Unfortunately, the passing of those hours has been long, but not quite long enough to wash away the taste of Rin from my lips. I can still smell the sweet and spicy scent of her skin every single time I breathe in. My balls—well, they feel like they’ve been put through a meat grinder.

  The slow crawling traffic annoys the hell out of me. That’s nothing new. I swear, I can’t keep doing this forever. I have to figure something else out. I was always a city kid, born and raised, but sometimes I think it would be nice to just get away. Maybe do the off-grid rustic thing everyone is talking about now. I could probably live without power and running water. I’ve seen worse. Done worse. Outhouses aren’t so frightening. I have money. I could just leave. I could have left a long time ago.

  But for some reason, I’m still here.

  Still doing this.

  Even though it doesn’t make me happy.

  Thinking about that makes me think about Rin. About how she told me she never wanted to do fashion in the first place. She wanted to tell people’s stories. She didn’t end up where she wanted to be either. I doubt she’s happy. Okay, I know she’s not happy. Seeing her battling her own demons has made me pretty aware of my own.

  By the time I make it to the wrought iron gates surrounding the expensive neighborhood I call home, my insides are a twisted mess. They feel like some rabid animal got in there and is going on a full-on revolt. I know I need to make a change. The short amount of time I spent in Miami was a big heaping kick in the pants. One I probably seriously needed.

  I’m not happy, and I need to find a way to turn that statement around.

  I’m so busy thinking about log cabins and updated outhouses that I fail to notice the darkened shadow gracing the front steps of my house. My house is not overly fancy. This is LA. A mil only buys you, like…well, not much. It doesn’t buy much. It’s a decent house. Four bedrooms, two baths. A new construction. Fancy enough. Not fancy enough to make me hate it, but too bland that I actually don’t really like it at all. It’s passable, I guess. It’s in a gated community, at least, which keeps out people that don’t belong there, like agents I don’t want to talk to, and occasionally, the media.

  I roll up the driveway, intent on putting my red sports car in the first bay of my four-car garage—at least I like that part of the house, and I didn’t waste any time filling it up with toys. At this point, my cars are pretty much the only pleasure I have left in life. Although, driving in LA is pretty maddening at the best of times.

  Before I get the garage door down, a shadow darts in and stands right by the car.

  My first thought is danger, and I have nothing to defend myself with other than my coveted smile and my fists. I used to know how to fight, but it’s been a few years. It’s probably like riding a bike, though. It’s a skill you never lose.

  As I tumble out of the car, I take a better look at my opponent, and I let out a heavy sigh of disbelief. Rin. What the hell is she doing here? In my damn garage.

  “You’re lucky you didn’t get pepper-sprayed or something,” I hiss under my breath, shutting the car door with a bang that reverberates through the garage. “I was just trying to figure out if I wanted to kick you to take you down or give you a throat punch.”

  She blinks, confused. “Why would you want to do that? Do you really hate me that much?”

  “No.” I grab at the back of my neck and give it a hard squeeze. It hurts. This is real. Rin is really standing right here. “I didn’t see you. I me
an, I saw a shadow. I thought someone was going to attempt to mug me or something.”

  “So, you thought I was a robber. In broad daylight. In a gated community?”

  “How did you get through the gates anyway?”

  She grins at me sheepishly. “I might have had someone call ahead to tell the guard at the gate that you were meeting with an agent, and that I was expected. They made it very legit. Gave them my rental plate number and all.”

  “Who?”

  “Aria,” Rin admits. She digs the toe of her flats into the concrete.

  As usual, she’s gorgeous. Her clothes are a bit rumpled, which I’m guessing is from the flight she hopped on to get here, but it doesn’t detract from how beautiful she is at all. She’s got on a simple, flowy red tunic and black leggings. Black flats. It’s all very simple and understated and still, she’s the most beautiful woman in LA at the moment. I’m pretty sure of that. Her hair is tied up in a high ponytail, swept away from her face, which is completely devoid of makeup. Her eyes look a little red and bleary, and I’m guessing she got up early and caught the red-eye.

  “My friends said that if I took up jogging, I should start carrying pepper spray,” Rin says, taking me off guard. “I never thought you’d have any, though.”

  “Why would I have pepper spray?” I frown.

  “Because you said I was lucky I didn’t get pepper-sprayed. That must imply you have some.”

  “I don’t,” I admit, the beginnings of a smile taking over, but I can’t stop it. “I was just saying that to be nice. I was going to go straight for the throat punch.”

  “Good to know. I won’t sneak up on you next time.”

  “What are you doing here, anyway?” I know my smile is gone, and I’m frowning at her and probably not in the nice guy kind of way. I know we’re standing in my garage with the door open, but I don’t want to take this inside. That would mean I’d be letting my guard down just a little, and I really don’t have any plans on doing that any time soon.

  “I came because I wanted to tell you…” Rin’s eyes sweep the garage. It’s neat and tidy, everything on shelves and in cabinets at the far end, the other three bays occupied by covered cars. Two classics, one newer import. I don’t drive any of them. I’m kind of ashamed to admit I just bought them because I wanted them.

  “You wanted to tell me?”

  Rin swallows so loudly that the sound seems to echo in the garage. She inhales sharply and then just goes for it. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. Seriously sorry. I was told I’d pretty much cut off your nuts, roasted them, and made you eat them. I didn’t mean to do that. I can see how I did, though. I—I don’t want to cut off your nuts. I don’t want to roast them. I don’t want you to eat them.”

  “Yeah. That makes two of us.” My nuts hurt just thinking about it. It could only be Aria who would say something like that.

  “I mean—I—that—er…” Rin sighs. She twists her hands awkwardly in front of her before she drags her eyes back to me. “Look. I’m shitty at this. I have the worst history with men. I’ve done a lot of thinking about why that is. I think part of me didn’t want to find someone who could have the power to hurt me while the other half was always at war because I wanted to be loved. I picked guys who would always hurt me because they were just wrong. Wrong in so many ways, and I knew that but I still did it, and then I expected things to try and work out and got hurt anyway. I don’t know why I did it. It was crazy. And stupid. And ridiculous. I let them tell me I wasn’t worth anything. I let them make me feel that way. I have a history of that too. My mom—she was—not a very good mom growing up. My dad was worse. I haven’t talked to him in forever. I thought I knew what I wanted. When I was done with boarding school. Cassie and Aria and I, we all thought we were going to take over the world. Take no one’s shit. I wanted to be a journalist. I wanted to tell people’s stories. It’s pretty ironic that not only did I not do that, I’ve done a complete shit job of telling my own story. I’ve let it be dictated for me too. I guess I’ve just stepped back and gone through these past five years on autopilot. Honestly, I don’t know why I did that. I haven’t done one thing I wanted to do. Not. One. Not one that counted, at any rate. I don’t mean having chocolate here and there or getting extra cheese on my pizza.”

  “First, that’s quite a confession. Apology. Whatever. Second, you should never go for the extra cheese. If you’re going to get extra something on pizza, it should always be pineapple.”

  Rin’s eyes dampen, but her gorgeous lips waver at the corners. She reaches up and brushes the backs of her hands over her eyes, mopping up the tears.

  “God, Aiden. I’ve never really thought about any of this before. I never thought that all it would take to make me happy is to just—take a chance on me. On my own happiness.”

  “So, you’re here to tell me you’ve found your path? Because of what happened?”

  “No!” She shakes her head wildly. Her ponytail whips back and forth so violently I nearly back up a step to avoid being bitchslapped in the face with it. “No, that’s not what I’m here to say. I mean, it kind of is. God.” She swallows again. “I’m making a mess of this too. It’s stupid because I rehearsed what I wanted to tell you on the plane. At least, the framework of it. It had four parts. The I’m-sorry-for-everything-that-happened part. The I-acted-like-a-complete-crazy-person part. The I-want-to-get-my-shit-figured-out-and-be-happy part. Finally, the I’m-really-sorry, can-you-ever-forgive-me, I’d-like-you-to-come-back-to-Miami-or-I’d-like-to-come-here-to-LA-or-maybe-we-could just-go-somewhere-else-and-give-this-thing-a-try part. That is if you don’t think I’m totally crazy. That is if you can look past the whole I-tried-to-cut-your-nuts-off-and-feed-them-to-you part. I guess…” She finally stops and gasps for air. “I guess that’s it.”

  I can feel my left brow arch. That was pretty much the craziest apology I’ve ever heard. The craziest and the most sincere. Rin’s face is pinched with sorrow. Her gorgeous, velvety eyes are still shimmering and misty. Her pupils are huge, and those amber flecks glow with a new intensity, like the sun is shining from just behind them.

  “We’ve only known each other for a week. There’s no need to apologize. Or there were no expectations. You were right. The whole thing was a crazy mess. You were my boss. It was a little inappropriate. We would both have been dragged through the coals. You hadn’t done the whole one night stand thing before, and I’d—well—it was—at the risk of sounding like a huge asshole, pretty much all I’d done. I didn’t expect you to meltdown on me, but then again, I didn’t react the way I could have either.”

  “You reacted pretty well, considering…”

  I bite down on the inside of my cheek just to smother a smile. Do I want to send Rin packing? Yeah, I kind of do. She did kind of hand me my balls. She’d cut pretty deep with the things she said. I don’t like the things she said about herself either, but then again, everyone has their moments. She’s already addressed that. She wasn’t happy. For so many reasons. She also said she wants to make some changes. I can think of a few things I’d like to change for her and for myself too.

  “I know you said you don’t do commitment, and that feelings make things messy. You said that. You were probably right. I probably should have just come to tell you I’m sorry and got the heck out after that. I—I just want you to know I’ve decided to put things in motion with the new clothing line. I have a few more charities I want to get on the ball with, too, then I’m shipping out. I’ve decided I want to go back to school. And not in Miami. I don’t know where yet, but I’m going to do it. I’m going to finish my Journalism degree, and then, I don’t know. We’ll see if I ever use it. I just—I want to start fresh. Do something for me. Figure out what that even means. And I—I wanted to see if you—yeah. If you might want a fresh start too.”

  “What makes you think that?” I back up and lean casually against my car, one ankle folded over the other. “Is it so obvious I’ve had the life and soul sucked right out of me, an
d I want to do something else because it’s true what they say about maybe never getting that chance? Is it written all over my face?”

  “It’s not obvious,” Rin says softly. “You have a very nice face.”

  “So do you. I wasn’t kidding when I said I thought you were beautiful. You’re beyond beautiful. You’re so kind. You’re so wonderful in an industry where no one is kind or wonderful. I think you’re perfect. I wish you could see that.”

  “I want to see it. I’m going to. I’m going to make myself see it.”

  “Yeah? It’s kind of funny you say that because I was doing some thinking on my drive home. My very long, traffic-jammed drive home. I’m kind of done with this. I have been for years. I’ve made a truck ton of money and never really enjoyed it. Never done anything I want to do, just like you said. I was thinking of doing something off-grid. A cabin, maybe? Something rustic? But then, I was also thinking of opening a pizza shop since no one around here knows how to make a decent pie.”

  “Both of those options sound really amazing,” Rin breathes. “I’m happy for you. Really.”

  “Even if I think feelings make everything messy?”

  “Even if you still think that. I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I feel like you helped me a lot, and I didn’t want to leave things as they were. That’s kind of unforgivable, in my mind, at least.”

  I leave that second of silence between us. Rin lifts her head and stares right at me. Into me. Nearly sees through me. I’m struck by how gorgeous she is. I’m also struck by how badly I want to kiss her. My blue balls are in complete agreement with that notion. They’re probably the cause of it.

  “You know what would be unforgivable? If I let you walk out of this garage like you weren’t kind of a creeper for coming here, get in that rental, and go back to wherever it is you’re going to go and do whatever it is you’re going to be awesome at doing. Feelings might make everything messy, but sometimes, I’m sure messes can be kind of fun. I’m also sure that even though Aria’s wild scheme was crazy, it was also kind of nice that we met. Who knows, maybe we could give this another try. Minus the fake dating. Minus you being my boss. Minus all the things you protested about.”