Make Me Yours

by Iris Morland

  The evening waned on, but no return call. He didn’t want to press her, but when she didn’t return his text, that guilt turned straight to worry. What if those threats she’d been receiving had manifested in something really dangerous? Now he couldn’t stop thinking about all the horrible things that could’ve happened to her. He called her one last time, hoping she’d pick up and ream into him for being annoying, but nothing. Just voicemail. He left the apartment and knocked on Joy’s door down the hallway.

  “Gavin,” she said with surprise, her bright purple hair piled on top of her head. “What is it?”

  “I need to go see someone real quick. Can you stay with Emma until I get back?”

  “What is it?” Adam stepped up behind Joy, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Gavin?”

  Gavin stiffened at the sight of his brother, but he didn’t have time for this. “I’ll be right back. Will you watch Emma?”

  “Of course. Do you need help?” Adam asked, concern lacing his voice.

  “No, but thanks.” Gavin had already grabbed his car keys, and he jogged down the stairs and out to his car before his brother decided to press for more information. His heart was pounding so fast he could barely keep his thoughts straight. Gripping the steering wheel, he drove as fast as he could to Kat’s place, praying with everything he had that he was just overreacting.

  When he knocked on the door, no one answered. A chill swept through him. Going to the window, he knocked. “Kat! Are you in there?” The logical part of him wondered if she just wasn’t home, but when he glanced into the garage, he saw her car. He tried the front door, but it was locked. “Kat! Open up! It’s Gavin.”

  He heard a sound around back. Sprinting toward the sound, he first saw the bright red blood smeared across the ground before he saw Kat.

  Oh God, she’s been hurt. I’m too late.

  She had her hands over her mouth as she stared at the scene on the ground. As Gavin got closer, he saw that the blood wasn’t coming from her—thank God—but that someone had left a decapitated squirrel in the yard, a trail of blood covering the autumn leaves.

  “Kat, Jesus Christ, what happened?” He took her hands away from her face, and he watched as she trembled, her face pale. She wasn’t crying, which made him worry even more. “Are you all right?”

  She nodded jerkily. “I’m okay. I mean, it’s just a squirrel. Better a squirrel than me, right?” She laughed, and Gavin took that as a sign that he should embrace her. When she hiccupped against his shoulder, he knew he’d made the right decision.

  He rubbed her back through her thin jacket. “Come on, let’s go inside.” He wanted to think the squirrel was just some leftover dinner from some predator, but he knew enough to tell that the squirrel had been killed with an ax of some sort by a human, not another animal. And if a person had done this, then they’d obviously left it here for a reason.

  Kat pulled away, but only to rifle in her jacket to pull out a note. She handed it to Gavin. “This was left with it.”

  He unfolded the note to read: You’ll be next. Fury swept through him. “What the fuck? God, Kat, we have to call the police.”

  “I know. I was just so freaked out I hadn’t yet.” She rubbed her arms, and Gavin led her inside, away from the bloody mess. “Who the fuck would do something like this?”

  “Someone crazy, that’s who.” He took her into the living room and wrapped her in a blanket before pulling out his phone to call the police. “They’ll be here in a few minutes,” he said. He sat down next to her and placed an arm around her shoulders. She leaned against him and sighed. “Why the squirrel, though?”

  She laughed, but it was bitter. “The game has a flying squirrel in it.” She sniffled. “They knew exactly what they were doing.”

  “And all this over a game? What the hell is the game even about?”

  She stiffened a little against him. “Nothing that horrible,” she muttered.

  Now she had his curiosity piqued. But when she didn’t elaborate, he shook her slightly. “Come on, tell me. It can’t be that bad.”

  “It’s not bad. It was just a silly, satirical game. I was making fun of meninists.” At his blank look, she laughed. “They’re feminists, except the dude version. They’re all about men’s rights.”

  Gavin made a face. “And they’re mad you were poking fun?”

  “Basically.”

  He didn’t really understand exactly what she was talking about, but he knew well enough that this was an extreme overreaction for something like an online game. He was about to tell her that it didn’t matter what the game was about, that these threats weren’t remotely okay, when someone knocked on the door.

  The next two hours were spent with the police. They interviewed both Kat and Gavin, took photos of the poor headless squirrel, and then poured over all the comments and emails Kat had received as well.

  Officer Haldon, who Gavin knew was involved with Jaime’s case, took everything in in his usual, serious way, although he treated Kat gently, for which Gavin was grateful. She wasn’t made of glass, but he didn’t want things to be made worse for her, either, by overly probing questions or judgmental asides. Officer Haldon took notes and photos, asking pertinent questions before taking his leave, saying that if he found out anything or discovered any possible suspects, he’d be in touch shortly.

  Gavin closed the door quietly, turning back to Kat, who looked so small wrapped up in the blanket he’d placed around her shoulders. Her face was drawn and tired, and at the thought of saying goodbye and leaving her here alone, he balked. What if something else happened? Whoever this was, he or she wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

  “Stay with me tonight,” he said before he even realized he’d been considering it.

  She glanced up at him. “At your place?”

  “Yeah. It’ll be kind of cramped, but you can’t stay here alone. I’d stay here with you, but with Emma and everything…”

  She nodded, but she still looked dazed.

  He sat down next to her and before she could protest, he hugged her close. The tension in her body loosened, and she relaxed against him, clutching at his shirt in small fistfuls.

  Now that the police were gone and they could both finally breathe, Gavin gave in to the fear that had been eating at him. He hugged her so hard her breath stuttered, but he just needed her close. “When you didn’t pick up your phone…” he muttered against her neck. “I was terrified, Kat. I thought something had happened to you. Even worse than some fucking squirrel.”

  She laughed, but the laugh turned into a little sob. She wiped her eyes underneath her glasses.

  “Also, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said what I did after what happened with Emma.”

  She just sighed. “I know you had your reasons, but I hope you know I meant well. I hate seeing Emma like that. I hate seeing you like that.” She pulled away so she could look him in the eye. “You can’t keep going like this, you know.”

  “Adam said the same thing.” He hesitated, but he was too tired to keep everything in anymore. Stroking her arm, he murmured, “I took Emma to see a therapist. Three, actually. After what happened with her mother. Everyone told me it was the right thing to do.”

  Kat watched him with those deep brown eyes, and for some reason, he felt like he could tell her anything. He could bare his soul to her and she’d understand.

  “But with each visit, she got worse. By the third one, she was hiding underneath our stairwell like a cornered animal. I just couldn’t keep doing that to her.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “How do I take her to a fourth person without something worse happening? How can I justify that to her?”

  His voice was anguished, and Kat reached out to soothe him. “You were doing the best you could,” she said. “I would’ve done the same. I think anyone would have.”

  “Would they? I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do, things only get worse. I tried to save Teagan, but
I couldn’t. Now I’m terrified that I’m losing my daughter as well.”

  His throat closed and all he could do was try to calm his breathing, keep the memories at bay for now. He couldn’t tell Kat about Teagan—it was still too raw—but she didn’t press him. She just wrapped her arms around him, hugging him like he’d been hugging her earlier.

  “I don’t know what to do anymore,” he admitted. “How do I fix something I can’t understand in the first place?”

  She didn’t say anything for a moment. “I think you just have to keep trying. I’m not going to say you should go to another therapist, but maybe you could find someone else. Explain to them what’s happening, and maybe at some point, they can meet Emma.” She sighed. “I don’t know, Gavin. But I do know that things can’t get better without something changing.”

  He knew she was right, but it didn’t help the heaviness in his heart. And then he realized that once again, he’d dumped his problems into Kat’s lap. He’d come here to help her, but inevitably, she’d ended up helping him.

  But this time, she wasn’t going to be alone. He was going to take care of her and protect her from whatever this was. He wasn’t going to let her get hurt. Too many people around him had gotten hurt in the last few years; Kat Williamson wasn’t going to be added to that tally.

  “Come on, get your things so we can get back to my place. I left Emma with Joy, but it’s getting late.” When she was silent, he asked, “If you’re okay with this, of course. I can ask Joy to stay with Emma and I can stay here with you—”

  She shook her as she stood up. “I don’t want to stay here anyway. The thought of that squirrel in the backyard…” She shuddered. “I’m afraid its head will end up on my pillow.”

  She laughed, but Gavin couldn’t. “That’s not funny.”

  “I know, but I had to try. Just give me a few minutes.” Before she went to her room, though, she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek like she had days prior. But this time, Gavin couldn’t help but turn his face so their lips met. He growled as they kissed, and she let out a breathy sigh. He kissed her and told her without words that she meant something to him, that she was worth taking care of. That he’d keep her safe no matter what.

  “Go get packed,” he finally said in a low voice.

  She nodded, looking dazed again.

  He didn’t know how he’d manage to keep his hands off of her with her staying at his place. He told himself he could do it if he tried, but who was he fooling? The thought of her sleeping in his bed—he’d sleep on the couch, of course—padding around his apartment like a lover would do? Seeing her come out of the bathroom after she’d showered, all wet and warm and glistening? He had to stifle a groan at the thought, and then he chastised himself for thinking dirty thoughts in a situation like this.

  She isn’t coming over so you can get laid, he told himself sternly.

  After explaining to Joy and Adam what had happened as briefly as he could, Gavin showed Kat to his room. “I just washed the sheets, so you’re in luck there.”

  “Well, thank you, all the same.” She flashed him a small smile. “Are you sure, though? I can sleep on the couch just fine.”

  “No way,” he growled. “You’ll sleep in my bed, Kat.”

  Her eyes widened at his words, and he cursed himself. Had he really said that? He turned away, thinking he should probably give her space. “There are clean towels in the bathroom. Let me know if you need anything.”

  “Okay.”

  As Gavin lay on the couch later that night, he knew he wasn’t going to get any sleep. He couldn’t stop thinking about Kat in his bed, about Kat curled up underneath his comforter, her scent mixing with his own. He groaned and punched the pillow under his head.

  He must have dozed off, though, because the next thing he knew, he heard a door open, and then as if in a dream, Kat was walking toward him. He sat up with a start.

  “Everything okay?” he asked.

  She nodded; he could just make her out in the dim light of the living room. “Just couldn’t sleep. You too?”

  He nodded.

  She sat down next to him, and it took everything in him not to haul her into his lap and kiss her. This was going to be a very long night, he thought with an inner sigh.

  Chapter Nine

  As Kat lay in Gavin’s bed, staring up at the ceiling, she knew she wasn’t going to sleep tonight. For one, the sheets smelled like him, and she couldn’t help but inhale that scent and think of kissing him. Thoughts of kissing only made her more awake than ever, and so by one in the morning, she’d given up all hope of sleeping.

  She debated whether or not she wanted to make herself a cup of tea. Would she wake up Gavin if she did? But something warm sounded too good to pass up, and besides, she’d gotten good at being quiet when Lillian had been alive. Kat had gotten up so many times in the middle of the night for one reason or another as her grandmother had declined, losing more and more of herself to the dementia taking hold of her mind.

  Kat sighed. Getting up out of bed, she snagged her robe and her glasses. She tiptoed past Emma’s room and entered the living room to get to the small apartment kitchen. But when she saw a figure sitting up on the couch, she stifled a gasp. Gavin. It was just Gavin.

  They stared at each other in the dark, although she could only make out the outline of him. After they’d ascertained that the both of them couldn’t sleep, she sat down next to him. He flipped on a dim lamp next to the couch, which suddenly made their surroundings almost too intimate. Gavin was rumpled, his hair sticking up, and Kat had to restrain herself from touching those silken strands. His beard had grown so much lately, though, that she almost expected him to carry around an ax like some kind of rogue lumberjack.

  Kat wiped her hands against her pajama bottoms. This had been a bad idea. If she thought she couldn’t sleep in between Gavin’s sheets? There was no way she’d get sleepy sitting next to him like this. She could practically feel the heat of his body seeping into her own.

  “I was going to make some tea,” she said as she hopped up again. “You want some?”

  She didn’t wait for his answer. She needed a second to recalibrate, to figure out what the hell she was doing. That very stupid part of her wanted to kiss him and, hell, touch him and take whatever this was to a new level. The more prudent part of her told her that Gavin Danvers wasn’t remotely ready for a new relationship and Kat would just get hurt. But that prudent voice kept getting smaller and smaller, until she knew it’d vanish in a puff of smoke—especially if he touched her.

  Finding the kettle, she almost dropped the stupid thing when she realized how badly she was shaking. Was it fear? Or desire? Probably both. She filled it with water and set it on the stove, staring at it without really seeing it as she weighed the pros and cons of this situation like the programmer she was.

  Pro: Gavin was a great kisser, and he’d probably be a great lover.

  Con: He’d just gotten divorced and seemed hung up on that still.

  Pro: She’d get to have sex! She missed sex. It’d been too long.

  Con: What happened after they had sex? They became friends with benefits? Or had a real relationship?

  The kettle just started to whistle before Kat took it off, not wanting to make any more noise. She realized with an eye roll that she didn’t even know if Gavin had tea. Luckily, she found a box of chamomile in the back of a cabinet. She pilfered some for herself and for him.

  All these pros and cons meant nothing, she knew, if Gavin didn’t want her. He’d kissed her—twice—but that didn’t mean he wanted more than that. In her experience with men, that wasn’t usually the case, but Gavin wasn’t the usual kind of man.

  “Tea?” She handed him a mug as she sat down on the couch, making sure they weren’t close enough to touch.

  He seemed nonplussed by the appearance of tea, and if the situation weren’t so strange, Kat would laugh.

  “Thanks,” he replied gruffly. He sipped the brew before setting i
t on the coffee table in front of them. They sat in silence for a time until he asked, “Are you okay?”

  She swallowed the hot tea. What a question! She’d been threatened multiple times over the past month, had kissed a man who seemed completely emotionally unavailable, and now she was in his apartment, wondering if sleeping with him was in her best interests.

  She gripped her mug tighter. “I’m fine,” she said, because any other answer wasn’t something she could get out right now.

  “If you’re scared about the threats, I’ll keep you safe,” he insisted. “I don’t want you to be afraid.”

  Oddly enough, she wasn’t. Or rather, she was, but it was with the knowledge that she wasn’t alone in this. Gavin’s presence and assurances meant more to her than she’d even realized. Her heart warmed as much as the tea warmed her body as she sat there next to him.

  “Thank you. I mean, you’ve gone out of your way to help me. I don’t know a lot of people who would do that.”

  He made a face, like he was uncomfortable. “I owe you. For helping Emma, for helping me. I care about you, Kat.”

  The words hung in the room. She swallowed against a suddenly dry throat. “I care about you, too,” she murmured.

  He shifted, moving closer toward her. She expected him to reach out and touch her, but he didn’t. “Sometimes I’m not convinced you’re real.”

  “Me? What do you mean?”

  “Just that, even after everything that’s happened, you’re still so together. I would’ve expected any person to have kind of lost it by now.”