So Long at the Fair

by Pat Herbert

  “Humphrey!” she exclaimed, nearly dropping her hairbrush. “What on earth are you doing? Where’s Fanny? Is she ill?”

  “No, dear,” smiled Humphrey ingratiatingly. “I thought I’d give her the night off so that we could be alone together. We haven’t had a night alone for some time.” He placed the tray on the bedside table and sat on the bed.

  Finishing her evening toilet, she came through to the bedroom and looked at him nervously. This wasn’t boding well at all. Did he want something from her – something that she really wasn’t willing to give? However, it was thoughtful that he remembered to bring her evening cocoa, and maybe it was a sign that he didn’t expect her to stay awake after she’d drunk it. But then, he probably could get what he wanted while she slept. She shuddered at the thought.

  “Well, my dear,” he said, “this is nice to be together like this, isn’t it?”

  “Of course, Humphrey,” she said guardedly, “However, I have a rather unpleasant headache this evening...”

  He almost laughed. “Please, Hannah,” he said reassuringly. “I need nothing from you. I am just being kind, bringing you your cocoa so that you can relax and sleep well.”

  He watched her face as he saw the relief slowly rise up to her eyes. “Oh, Humphrey, it’s not that I don’t want – I mean, you must take from me what you need. I am your wife, of course, and I think I know my duty.”

  “Your duty, my dear, is to be a companion to me, nothing more. Now drink your cocoa.”

  She smiled sweetly at him and reached for the cup. Suddenly, he leapt forward and dashed it from her hands.

  “Oh my God,” he cried. “Please forgive me!”

  Chapter Six

  September 1894

  Richard Latimer was appalled. Hannah Downing had arrived unannounced shortly before nine o’clock that morning, put about and harassed as he had never seen her. But before he could ask what the matter was, she dropped her bombshell.

  “My husband has tried to poison me!”

  Richard was sitting at breakfast with Beatrice and, on hearing this dreadful news, his young wife immediately succumbed to a fit of the vapours. Luckily, Edith was waiting at the table.

  “Please help Mrs Latimer,” he instructed her. “Take her to her room and give her some smelling salts. She will do nicely in a few moments.”

  “I – I’m sorry to have upset your wife,” said Hannah, as Beatrice was led from the room by the Latimers’ maid.

  “How dare you say such a terrible thing? Beatrice is of a delicate constitution, you know that. You should have had a care.”

  Hannah Downing burst into tears. “Please forgive me, Richard, but I am in such a state...”

  He took her hand, realising he had been too hard on her. “I’m sorry I shouted at you. I know you wouldn’t have behaved like that without reason. But I can’t believe that Humphrey would do such a dreadful thing.”

  Hannah sat down on the seat vacated by Beatrice. Sighing, she took out her fan and waved it vigorously in front of her flushed face.

  “I’m afraid it’s true,” she told him.

  “I know he’s got his faults,” said Richard, “but I would never have thought he would go so far as to try and poison you. You must tell Papa at once.”

  “No, Richard, I can’t. And neither must you. I have a very good reason...”

  “And what, pray, is that?”

  “Money. He must not know. I need to keep control of my money without Papa’s interference.”

  “Of course. That goes without saying. But Papa needs to know what has happened.”

  “No, he must not! It is imperative that he knows nothing about this.”

  “I still don’t see why I can’t tell him.”

  “Just listen! Let me tell you from the beginning.”

  “Please do.” Richard Latimer sat back in his chair and proceeded to light his pipe. He could see there was no point in further argument.

  Hannah returned her fan to her reticule and composed herself. “It all began when Humphrey brought me my cocoa last evening.”

  “Are you saying it was poisoned?”

  “Please let me tell it in my own way, Richard.” She gave him a sisterly glare.

  “Pardon me. Pray continue.”

  “It was about ten o’clock. My usual time. He had dismissed Fanny, saying he had given her the evening off, which I thought was odd.”

  “I see. So, because he made the cocoa himself, you believe it to be poisoned?”

  “Oh, don’t be silly, and don’t keep interrupting. Of course, I don’t.”

  “Sorry, my dear,” said Richard, chastened. He sucked on his pipe and crossed his legs. “But I don’t have all day. I need to be in the City by ten o’clock.”

  “This is far more important than any City matters, Richard. I’ve long wondered what you do all day at that institution, by the way.”

  Richard smiled. “You wouldn’t understand if I told you,” he said patronisingly.

  Hannah did not respond to this although she resented it deeply. “May I continue?” she asked. “If you need to be in the City by ten, then we do not have much time.”

  “Of course.”

  “Well, as I was saying...” She paused for a moment. “As I raised the cup of cocoa to my lips, he dashed it from my hand.”

  Richard gasped. He wasn’t expecting that.

  “Now perhaps you will begin to see the situation for what it is.”

  “I do, I do. But what did he say?”

  “Well, he begged my forgiveness, naturally. And then he told me that it was his mistress who had pushed him into this desperate situation.” She paused once more, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. “She is going to have his child, and he needs my money to support her and the offspring. Also, he wants to make an honest woman of her as soon as he is free of all encumbrances... meaning myself, of course.”

  “The utter swine!” cried Richard, jumping up from his chair in horror. “You are a wronged woman, and I will fight him to the death for your sake.”

  “I will have no duels fought on my account.”

  “But what does he intend to do? What did you say to him?”

  She sighed. “Now, please don’t be angry, Richard...”

  “Angry? I am beyond anger, Sister. Not with you, with him!”

  Hannah raised her hand. “Oh, Richard, there’s no point. I am not going to divorce him.”

  “Of course you are not, that goes without saying. But I am still going to have it out with him.”

  “It is not his fault – well, not entirely...” Her hand went up again as her brother was about to expostulate. “It is her! That woman. She is driving him.”

  “But she has no choice,” Richard pointed out. “What would you do in her situation?”

  “I would not be in her situation in the first place,” she replied with a shudder. “Anyway, to continue. Will I ever get to the end of my tale of woe?”

  Richard was about to speak but, catching the glint in his sister’s eye, he decided wisely against it.

  “Humphrey told me that he could never bring himself to kill me, and I believe him,” said Hannah. “He hasn’t got it in him. But he is in a quandary.”

  “A quandary! I’ve never heard it called that before. The man is an out and out scoundrel and deserves to be horse-whipped.”

  “Maybe he does, but it is she who is behind it all. And the plain fact is she is going to have his child and, as that is the crux of the matter, I have offered him the use of my own money to help support them. He will continue to be my husband and live with me, meanwhile.”

  Richard Latimer looked at her in disbelief. How could she give her money away to that slut and her bastard child? He would not allow it. He had promised to always look after his sister’s interests and, now called upon to do so, he was determined not to fail her.

  

  He was in two minds whether to tell his father but, in the end, he decided he would have to deal with it on his own.
He knew his father’s wishes only too well, anyway. Arthur Latimer had made it clear from the outset that he didn’t approve of his daughter’s choice of husband and now it was all too plain that the old man had been right not to trust him.

  Richard had never had such a dilemma before, but he was equal to the challenge. The first thing he needed to do was to find out where this woman of Humphrey’s lived. He could have asked his brother-in-law direct, he supposed, but he didn’t want him to know anything about his plans. If Humphrey knew Richard was out to prevent him from getting Hannah’s money for the child, then things could turn nasty, very nasty indeed.

  There were such people as private detectives or enquiry agents as they were sometimes politely, if euphemistically, called, but he hadn’t a clue how to go about finding one. So, in his office later that day, he began searching through the advertising sections of his morning paper. There were many services to be had, it seemed: everything from hedge trimming to walking dogs. However, there was nothing remotely concerned with private detective work. It wasn’t going to be easy.

  Sighing, he started to squint at the smaller advertisements. Scouring the tiny print, he was suddenly rewarded as follows:

  “Discreet investigations undertaken.

  No task considered too small or too big.

  Jonah Longbody at your service.

  Reply Avenue 219.”

  “Oh good!” he said to himself, unhooking the telephone receiver.

  Chapter Seven

  September 1894

  “Now, Mr – er Latimer, how can I help you?”

  Richard stared at the individual seated before him at the untidy desk. ‘Untidy’ was a misnomer for a start. There wasn’t a word in Richard Latimer’s vocabulary to cover it. A bomb blast would have gone some way to cause the mess on Jonah Longbody’s desk, but only partially.

  The man himself looked like a hurricane had whipped him up in the air, twirled playfully with him for half an hour, and then thrown him back down into his seat. What hair that gentleman had was sparse and wispy and most of it standing up on end. Added to which, his unshaven chin and cadaverous features gave him a haggard and haunted look.

  Richard continued to stare at him, almost ready to walk out. Could this weird-looking man in the shabby clothes (which at least were clean, he noted with some element of relief) really help him find Olivia Ayrton-Williams? It was an unusual enough name, and he was thankful that Hannah had made it her business to find it out. It made his job, and no doubt that of this Longbody’s, that much easier.

  “Er, am I addressing Jonah Longbody?” he asked, hoping fervently that he wasn’t. Perhaps he was just the office boy, although he was a bit long in the tooth to be that, he supposed.

  “You are.”

  One thing in Longbody’s favour was his mode of speech. It was very correct and finely modulated. A nice voice. Richard felt a little reassured.

  “I want you to find out where a certain lady is residing,” he said.

  “To what end, may I ask?”

  “Well, she is my brother-in-law’s – er – m-mistress and is going to have his child. So, I need to know where she is and what she is doing.” He paused, thinking rapidly. “I need to know her movements from now until her confinement.”

  Jonah Longbody scribbled on a chewed-up piece of paper, breaking the point of his pencil as he did so. Muttering under his breath, he rummaged in his desk drawer for a knife to sharpen it. “May I ask what is the purpose behind your request?” he asked as he searched.

  Richard watched him in fascination, wondering how anyone could function in such a mess. If this was his modus operandi, how on earth did he manage to do his job efficiently? He had more or less made up his mind to go when Jonah found the knife he was looking for. With his pencil now in good working order, he placed it behind his ear.

  “Er – excuse me asking,” said Richard, ignoring the man’s question, “how are you going to write anything down with your pencil behind your ear?”

  “Oops! Force of habit,” said Jonah, removing it quickly. “Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Why do you want me to find this lady for you? Not that it matters to me. You hire me, I carry out your bidding. I don’t come cheap, mind.”

  “Money is of no consequence. This lady has an influence over my brother-in-law that is causing him to do things out of character.” That, he thought, was all the man needed to know. For the time being, at least.

  “I see,” said Jonah, scribbling some more. “Her name?”

  “Olivia Ayrton-Williams.”

  “Address?”

  Richard stared at him. The man was an idiot.

  “Oh, sorry,” grinned Jonah. “Force of habit again. I’m the one supposed to find that out, of course. What do you want me to do once I’ve found her?”

  “Just tell me, and then I’ll give you more instructions. I need to make sure she is not posing a danger to my sister in any way. Any move to come near her must be thwarted at once. I fear that she might try to harm her directly without my brother-in-law’s knowledge.”

  “I see.” Jonah leaned back in the chair, his spindly legs spread out under the desk. “Well, that is all very clear and satisfactory.”

  The way he said this, however, caused Richard to think it was anything but. Maybe it was necessary to give him some more details. “You see…” he began.

  “Yes?” Jonah stretched his legs out further, eyeing him quizzically,

  “My sister – er – that is – my brother-in-law – well, he put some arsenic in her cocoa.”

  Jonah sat bolt upright at this. “Don’t you think you should inform the police? I don’t think this is quite the job for me.”

  “He didn’t let her drink it,” explained Richard. “He told her he couldn’t do it in the end, and I believe him. Whatever my brother-in-law is, he’s not a cold-blooded killer. I just want you to find this woman and keep an eye on her. Isn’t that the kind of thing you do?”

  Jonah smiled, revealing a row of uneven teeth which didn’t add to his charm. “I see. If you’re sure that’s all that’s required, then I will take on the job. Here are my terms. Any expenses incurred will be additional, of course.”

  “Of course,” agreed Richard.

  He didn’t know why but, despite the man’s appearance and air of neglect, he had confidence in him. He only hoped it wasn’t to prove misplaced.

  Chapter Eight

  September 1894

  Arthur Latimer sat down with difficulty. There was no getting away from it: his health was getting very unreliable these days. Resting his shaky hands on his walking stick, he looked at his son over the top of it and breathed heavily.

  “I wonder that you need to see me like this, Richard. I am not a well man.”

  “But, Papa, I didn’t mean you should visit me! I was prepared to come to you. I sent you the letter just to apprise you of the situation. I am sorry you have put yourself out like this. Can I call Edith to get you some refreshment?”

  “No, no,” said Arthur irritably. “I just want to discuss this with you more fully. I have already tied up Hannah’s money so tightly that, whatever happens, that scoundrel can’t get his hands on it. If my daughter dies, he will find himself a pauper, mark my words. I will make sure he never gets employment anywhere.” His face began to turn an unhealthy shade of purple, and he started to cough.

  “Please try not to upset yourself,” Richard urged, pulling the bell rope by the mantelpiece to summon his maid. “I will ask Edith to fetch you some water.”

  When Arthur Latimer had recovered a little, he continued more slowly. “I wish it understood that I will not countenance any doings behind my back,” he said. “Who is this woman my wretched son-in-law has got himself entangled with?”

  “I – I don’t know much about her yet. But I have hired a private detective – ”

  “You’ve done what?” The old man expostulated into his beard. “Do you intend to hang all our dirty linen out for all the world to see?”

&
nbsp; “I – I didn’t know what else to do. How was I going to find out where she is? I wasn’t going to ask Humphrey as I didn’t want him to get wind of what I was doing. I thought that once we find her, we could just pay her off once and for all. Hannah has foolishly agreed to provide for Humphrey’s child in perpetuity, and we can’t let her do that.”

  “P – pay her off?”

  Richard reached for the glass of water as his father began to cough again. “Here, sip this. Please try to calm yourself, Papa. I thought that would be for the best and a lot cheaper. We can afford to give her a few hundred pounds just to be rid of her.” Although he saw the look on his father’s face, he continued undaunted. “I thought that was the best thing.”

  Arthur Latimer didn’t reply.

  “You must see that the most important thing is to find this woman and sort out this problem once and for all,” Richard said, asserting himself as best he could under the steely gimlet eyes of his parent.

  Arthur Latimer’s only response, however, was “Bah!”

  “Well, what do you suggest? After all, like it or not, she is about to give birth to your son-in-law’s child.”

  “I don’t see why I should pay a penny to her. Humphrey is no son of mine.”

  “Not by blood, perhaps,” agreed Richard. “But surely we have a certain responsibility as a family?”

  “Some family!”

  “Humphrey is part of our family, like it or not.”

  “I shall ensure my daughter gets a quick and private divorce,” said the old man evenly.

  “But you can’t ride roughshod over people’s emotions, Papa. It is much more complicated than you think. Have you taken Hannah’s feelings into account at all? She doesn’t want to divorce him.”

  “It doesn’t matter what she wants.” Arthur Latimer got up to leave, leaning his excessive weight on his stick as he did so. “She has dragged our good name in the mud by marrying this blackguard, and now she must abide by my wishes to save it. Do you understand me?”