by Fiona Greene
History. Rivervue. Community expectation. It all disappeared, banished by the strength of his arms, the slow steady beat of his heart. And the realisation in her heart that this was right, even when everything in her brain was telling her it was wrong.
And then she realised he was going to kiss her.
Sanity, the wettest of blankets, descended without warning. Oh, she could see the headlines now. Lexi Spencer would do ANYTHING to save Rivervue. They’d accompany it with a photo, clearly showing this special moment. He’d lose his job. She’d lose hers.
But worse than that, she’d lose Rivervue.
The family you had when your actual family didn’t want anything to do with you. The family that enfolded you in its arms when you had nothing, and no-one.
She couldn’t risk that again.
She pushed on his chest. ‘We can’t.’
Mark stared deep into her eyes then with a small shake of his head, he dropped his arms. ‘We can. Maybe now isn’t the time, and here isn’t the place, but if we wanted to, we could.’
Lexi stepped back, and to stop herself touching him, she jammed her hands into her pockets. ‘Now isn’t the time,’ she conceded, hunching her shoulders. The sun had dipped below the horizon as they’d spoken, and twilight was deepening. ‘We should head back.’
Mark’s face was unreadable as they walked back to the car park. His car was the only vehicle left. He held open her door and Lexi climbed in.
‘Dinner. The grazing boxes are in the chiller. I don’t think a picnic out here is a good idea. It’s too dark. Where else would be good?’
Dinner. She’d forgotten all about their previous plan.
They couldn’t be seen spending Friday night having dinner. No matter how she spun it, someone was going to think she was with him because either she’d sold out on Rivervue, or she was trying to convince him to change his mind.
Neither scenario made her comfortable.
‘We could go to my place?’ She wanted to take the words back as soon as she’d uttered them.
‘Sure,’ Mark agreed easily. He pulled out of the driveway then asked, ‘Do you want to swing back into town to get your car?’
‘Yes please.’
Mark dropped her next to her car, and as she retrieved her laptop and eco-sack full of junk food a shadow materialised from the bushes and loped over to her.
‘Phantom.’ She cast her gaze over the darkened car park. Dylan, Kenzie’s newfound foreign friend, followed his buddy out onto the tarmac.
‘Everything okay?’ Mark called from his car.
‘Fine.’ Lexi reassured him. ‘That’s Dylan, a friend of Kenzie’s. You can go.’
‘Sure?’
‘Yep, Dylan’s one of our volunteers.’ She gave Mark a thumbs up, more for Dylan’s benefit than for Mark’s. ‘See you in a tick,’ she added softly.
Mark slowly rolled away, watching in the rear-view mirror all the way to the car-park exit.
Lexi turned to Dylan, careful to make sure he could read her lips. ‘Every-thing okay?’
He gave her the thumbs up, and Phantom wagged his tail.
‘Mark’s dropping me back from a tour of the Butter Factory.’ Business as usual, she told herself. What had Dylan seen before she realised he was there? Hopefully nothing in her body language would give her away. She couldn’t afford anything to distract the townsfolk from her trying to save the theatre.
‘Anyway, I’d better be off. Big weekend,’ she lied.
Dylan waved, and gestured to Phantom, who loped around for a run on the riverbank.
Lexi was a bundle of nerves as she drove home to meet Mark. ‘Just dinner,’ she repeated over and over.
But what if it wasn’t just dinner?
***
Lexi had a strange feeling of déjà vu as she showed Mark through her home, filled with rich timbers, stained-glass windows and mid-century furniture.
‘Great patio,’ Mark said as they stepped out into the cool night air. ‘Where did you get this?’ He ran his hand over the rustic hardwood table that dominated her outdoor space.
‘Farm auction. From an old dairying family who had ten children. The father cut the timber himself. His wife sanded these,’ she ran her fingers around the corner closest to her, ‘by hand. Six of his great-grandsons delivered it.’
‘You’d need six men to lift it.’
Lexi nodded, trying not to watch as Mark ran his fingers over the grain. She changed the subject. ‘The lighting makes the space. The people who moved the church did all of the construction, but they completely over-lit this area. There are three fluorescent tubes out here, and a couple of spotlights on the house that have the potential to make this place visible from space. I toned it down a bit.’
Mark looked up, to where the net she’d draped in fairy lights hung in soft folds from the rafters supporting the old tin roof. ‘I like it.’
‘It gets better.’ Lexi struck a match and lit the ready-to-go kindling in the old-fashioned fire pit. ‘Can I put you in charge of fire and flame?’
Mark nodded. ‘Not quite the beach bonfire, but I’ll see what I can do.’
Memories flooded back. Of nights spent chasing the chill from the damp sand and sea breezes away with a driftwood fire. Of so many good times. She rubbed her arms to chase away her goosebumps, even if they were only in her imagination.
She laid a couple of placemats on opposite sides of the table and debated whether or not to grab the squat candle that she lit most nights she ate out here.
No, stop it. The only reason Mark was here was to taste-test the food from the Edgy Veggie. This wasn’t a candlelit dinner with him, no matter how much she wanted it to be.
She added plates and glasses then pulled the ready-to-eat grazing boxes out of the cooler and onto the table, just as Mark slipped into the seat opposite hers.
She glanced across the table at him and that unease she’d managed to chase away flooded back. Maybe they would have been better off down on the riverbank, closer to town. This was too … too much, she decided, for work colleagues. The only thing missing was sunshine, lush grass and a sumptuous picnic rug covered with scatter cushions.
Stop it.
This is business.
Lexi almost tore open the first box to reveal a selection of flat breads, dips, vegan cheese, and fresh-cut and marinated vegetables. The artful display inside pushed her misgivings away. ‘Mmm, instantly hungry,’ she said.
The second platter made her mouth water even more: mini croissants, waffles, fresh chopped fruit and a decadent-looking chocolate sauce. It was garnished with flowers and mint. Popcorn was scattered across the platter too.
‘How do you make vegan croissants?’ She stared at the tiny crescents.
‘Nut butter, I think. Or maybe a vegan butter?’ Mark inspected the platter. ‘Never really thought about it before.’
Lexi pulled a bottle from the cooler. ‘Oh look, bubbles. The Edgy Veggie sure knows how to pack a picnic.’
‘I’ll say.’ He took the bottle and popped the cork, then poured her a glass. ‘I hope this all tastes as good as it looks.’ His fingers brushed hers as he handed her the glass and a zing of awareness rushed up her arm.
What was going on with her?
Being with Mark felt right but logically she knew it wasn’t going to happen. Even if she was sure she wanted it, and that was looking more and more likely the more time she spent with him, it couldn’t happen.
This was the man who was going to be instrumental in shutting down Rivervue.
She needed to remember that. She gave herself a quick mental shake and lifted her glass. ‘I’m sure it will. Here’s to a great night in.’ She reached across the table for the toast.
He didn’t speak, didn’t move. Instead he captured her gaze with his. Held it.
The only sound was the crackling of the fire.
She started to feel warm all over. Not from the sparkling wine and not from the fire.
From Mark. And his intens
e stare.
Despite her efforts to focus on business, more memories crowded in. Nights with cheap wine and pulsing music, intimate picnic dinners and nightly walks on the beach. A shiver ratcheted down her spine. Her glass wobbled.
Finally, he raised his glass to clink with hers. ‘To a great night.’
She took a gulp of her bubbles. This was spiralling out of control.
‘Come on,’ he said, dropping his gaze from hers. ‘Dig in.’
They set to tasting a bit of everything.
‘That dip is the best.’ Lexi waved a carrot stick in the direction of the beetroot dip.
‘No, if you want the best, try this flat bread.’ He drizzled oil over the bread from a perfect miniature oil can.
Lexi sniffed. ‘Flavoured?’
‘Garlic in the bread. Chilli, and something else in the oil.’
Lexi’s mouth watered, and she reached for some of the bread. Again, his fingers brushed hers as he passed her the oil can. This time, though, she was ready. From here on in she was only going to think about Rivervue. ‘This is the ultimate takeaway. Imagine if we could get these guys offering packages in the theatre.’ She paused to take a bite, chew and swallow. ‘Don’t get me wrong. Love the bar offerings, but this takes it up a notch.’
‘Agree. Would it be viable to offer it?’
‘Not sure. We’d have to market it as a premium offering, and we’d need to know in advance how many we’d need, so maybe a dinner, drinks and show package? All inclusive.’
‘That’s worth exploring.’ Mark served himself some of the semi-dried vegetables. ‘But I don’t want to talk about the theatre tonight.’
Lexi’s startled gaze met his. ‘Okay.’ She lowered her carrot stick back to her plate. ‘I thought today was about me trying to keep Rivervue in town, while you tried to move it to a ridiculous space, miles from anywhere.’
Mark smiled and sipped from his glass. ‘Today was about Rivervue. Tonight is about two people who knew each other a long time ago sharing a meal together. Trying to reconnect.’ He gave her another intense stare and her mouth went dry.
‘Oh.’ So it wasn’t just her. Her appetite deserted her. ‘I’m confused. We’ve connected on a professional level already.’
Mark stared into her eyes. ‘We have. But, I think there’s more.’ His face left her in no doubt what sort of more. ‘Unfinished business.’
Lexi stared at the delicate flute suspiciously. No, she was sober, and Mark was serious. This was moving way faster than anything she’d ever anticipated.
Lexi cleared her throat. ‘One of the important things to me when I realised I was going to be working with you, was to keep our relationship professional. No-one in this town knows our history. One whiff of us having a relationship now, even if it is just going out for dinner, and my credibility in trying to preserve Rivervue is gone. One whiff of our relationship before, and your credibility with Council is gone. It doesn’t matter that we’re in a different place in our lives now.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with two work colleagues falling for each other.’
‘Is that what this is?’
‘It could be.’
‘Could it?’ Lexi pushed her plate away, her appetite gone. ‘I remember, quite distinctly, a conversation with you, not long after my parents forbade me from seeing you again. I’d caught the bus back down to Sydney, because I knew it wasn’t over between us. I had to see you again. And what happened?’
‘I told you it was over and gave you money for the return trip.’
‘And left me at the bus station.’
‘And left you at the bus station.’ Mark moved around the end of the table, and slipped into the chair closest to her. He reached out and put his hand over hers. ‘A bastard act. And one that I’ve always regretted. I’m sorry.’
Lexi couldn’t think. Couldn’t speak. Even thinking about that day, when she’d snuck out of home and hopped on that coach gave her cold chills. She’d known he would be happy to see her and hear what she had to say. All the way to Sydney, she’d imagined what their life would be like.
In love. Together. A family.
And then reality had stormed in, and a Mark she didn’t know had greeted her at his front door. He hadn’t even invited her in. Just packed her into his car and told her it was over and driven her back to the bus.
The first hint of a sob hitched in her throat. Even now it hurt. She kept her gaze down and tried to quell the storm of tears about to erupt. ‘I … You …’
Mark interrupted, ‘Sorry isn’t enough. I was a bastard toward you that day. I’ve regretted it ever since.’ He ran the pad of his thumb back and forth over the back of her hand. ‘But there was a reason, and if you’ll listen, I’ll try to explain.’
Lexi was torn. One part of her, now that she’d remembered the pain of that day, wanted to turf Mark Conroy out to the gutter on his ear, then cover that wound back up and keep on with her life. But the other part of her, the one that had watched Mark these last few weeks and knew the man he’d become now, wanted to rip that scar open, clean it out, then let it heal properly.
‘Please.’
His hoarse plea lodged deep in her heart. And as she knew how important it had been to her that day to give him her news, she knew she had to listen today.
‘Okay.’ She didn’t raise her eyes, didn’t acknowledge him. Maybe, if she kept inspecting the woodgrain on the table in front of her, he wouldn’t see how much he was hurting her. Then she’d have the courage to face him at work on Monday.
Maybe.
‘I was head over heels in love with you, Lexi. At the start, I didn’t think about where you came from or how old you might have been. You were fun, and gorgeous, and I knew that first night I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.’ Slowly, back and forth, he ran his thumb over her hand. ‘But when your parents found out, then my parents, and you were underage, it all just fell apart. They sent you home, but the meetings with my father’s advisors, and the lawyers continued.’
At the word lawyer, Lexi’s head shot up. ‘I didn’t know there were lawyers.’
‘No. Both sets of parents thought that was for the best.’
Bile rose in her stomach, and she fought hard to force it back down. ‘Police?’
‘No police,’ Mark said quickly. ‘An agreement between both sets of parents. I would sever all contact with you, and no charges would be laid.’
Charges?
‘I was sixteen.’
‘You were still fifteen.’ Mark paused. ‘That first time.’
‘Oh, no.’ Lexi pushed to her feet. ‘Oh no, no, no.’ Her brain couldn’t function. ‘You pushed me away because of lawyers?’
‘Worst day of my life, watching your heart break. Knowing if I didn’t, your parents were planning to charge me. They threatened to put me in jail then sue my family for damages. Take the house. Take everything my father had worked for.’
Lexi kept shaking her head. ‘But we were in love.’ Her voice rose, and she took a big breath. ‘It was mutual.’
‘I approached you first. Remember, that night at the club. I approached you.’
Lexi closed her eyes. That horrific experience, where Mark had broken her heart, had set in motion a chain of events from which she’d never truly recovered. Everything that had happened in her life from that moment on had been as a result of that five-minute conversation on a hot Sydney afternoon outside the bus station.
A conversation based on a lie.
‘Excuse me.’ She fled into the house and only just made it into the bathroom before she threw up.
Repeatedly.
Five minutes later, with nothing in her stomach, not even bile, the storm was over. She pulled herself over to the sink, put her elbows on the cold vanity, rested her head in her hands and stared at her reflection in the mirror.
Mark knocked. ‘Lexi? Are you okay?’
‘I’ll be out in a minute.’
She looked again. Her eyes were red, her hair
a mess. The bitter taste of vomit was still in her mouth. She breathed in and tried to quell the shaking that racked her frame.
‘Oh,’ she whispered to her reflection. Without warning, she was thrown back to another mirror, a different blindside. The day she’d truly realised the only person she could rely on was herself. ‘Oh dear, it was all a lie.’
‘Lexi?’
‘Coming.’ Going out there and facing Mark was the last thing she wanted to do. But, like that day all those years ago, she knew she couldn’t stay in here forever. ‘I’ll just wash up.’ She brushed her teeth, washed her face and tidied her hair. ‘Ugh.’ Her reflection was more zombie than calm and in control. She pulled out her makeup bag and threw some colour onto her face. ‘Better.’ She pulled herself upright and checked her posture. ‘Stronger. In control.’
She expected Mark to be waiting outside the bathroom, but he was nowhere to be seen. She headed toward the living area, where she could hear music.
Mark was in the kitchen, and the kettle was on. He’d rummaged around and found her stash of teas and was measuring her calm blend into the pot. ‘Maybe a cup of tea?’
It was so unexpected; Lexi’s legs went out from under her. She slid onto a stool at the breakfast bar. ‘Thanks. Sorry about that.’ She sat for a second then said, ‘I think it was the shock.’
Mark met her eyes. ‘I’m sorry. I could have handled that better too. It’s a part of my reality, but I didn’t realise how upsetting it would be for you.’ He paused. ‘I am so sorry for my part in this. I was young, and I bowed to my parents even though I thought it was wrong.’
‘It’s okay.’
It wasn’t, but she’d do her darnedest to make it okay from here on.
The enormity of the situation was only now becoming clear to her. Mark didn’t know the half of it. And her parents … The thought of what they’d done made her blood boil. She was going to need some serious time to process what she’d learned here tonight.
‘I’ve put the leftovers in the fridge.’ Mark filled the teapot. ‘Extinguished the fire. Finished up out there.’
