A Wilderness Within

by Emma Castle

  “Go, save yourself!” But his hand curled around my upper arm, and I could not get free. Then the man gargled, and his eyes rolled back in his head as he vomited all over my face and chest.

  Black vomit. Terror the likes of which I have never known swept over me. I kicked the man in the stomach, and he released me. I ran from the apartment and stopped in the front yard, gasping as I dragged the mask off my face and stripped off the protective gear. I tossed the contaminated items on the ground and started weeping. Protocol didn’t matter anymore. The damage was done. He had vomited in my eyes, and I hadn’t worn any protective goggles. I knew what would happen now. I was among the dead, and my days were numbered.

  * * *

  Caroline stared up at the pristine interior of the CDC lobby as she and Lincoln followed Sheriff Andrews through the maze of the expensive light-gray leather chairs and the clean white tables at the café in the main waiting area. They caught an elevator up to the third floor, and Caroline couldn’t believe she was surrounded by electricity.

  “They really do have power?”

  The sheriff nodded. “There’s a generating station a few miles away that we’ve been able to keep running. It’s powering this area and extends for about a hundred miles. The CDC was running off gas generators until a month ago. Then Erica was able to figure out how to get the station running. We have men and women working shifts to keep things operational.”

  “Do you know where the other generating stations are in the area?” Lincoln asked.

  “No, but city hall would still have paper records. What are you thinking?” Andrews asked.

  “Caroline thinks we need volunteers to start moving out to the areas where the stations are. We need to expand the grid. It may take a few years, but we could get the whole state back up and running with some effort and coordination,” Lincoln suggested.

  Caroline’s heart swelled with pride as she watched him get involved. He’d been listening when she’d talked the other night about how she’d try to get the power back on.

  “We can start talking about that tonight, especially with the people who’ve already given samples. They’re looking for something to do to help.”

  The elevator opened, and they stepped into a laboratory.

  “Dr. Kennedy, we’ve got visitors,” the sheriff called out.

  “What?” A dark-haired Indian woman emerged from the nearest closed door with a hazard label on it.

  “Caroline Kelly and Major Lincoln Atwood are here to see you.”

  “Oh my God!” Erica rushed to embrace them as though she’d known them all her life. “Sorry,” she said with a laugh, eyes bright with emotions. “I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

  “It’s okay.” Caroline’s eyes stung with tears as well. “We were worried when we didn’t hear any more broadcasts from you after that first time.”

  “I’m so sorry. I was listening to you every night. The people started arriving by the hundreds, and I’m down to two lab technicians aside from me who can handle the level 4 hot zone viruses. I’m trying to train the remaining staff of eight that we still have. We’ll need all the help we can get once we have a working vaccine.”

  “Level 4 what?” Caroline asked.

  “Level 4 hot zone is a certain level assigned to severely dangerous viruses. Viruses like Hydra-1 are so dangerous that they require special training for those who come in contact with them, or else the technician can spread the virus by accident and cause a fresh outbreak.”

  “Okay… But all the people outside are immune, right?” Caroline was worried about all the people she’d seen outside.

  “As far as I can tell. Most of them explained during their blood draws how they had come into close contact with some of the infected Hydra-1 victims and they didn’t contract the disease. Like me—I had one of those early victims vomit on me. I survived, by the sheer grace of God, I’m sure.” Erica’s gaze grew distant for a moment, as though she was plagued by dark memories. She shook herself out of it. “Sorry. Why don’t you come this way, and I’ll get your blood samples and your medical histories.”

  Caroline went first, sitting in the sterile plastic chair of the exam room while Erica withdrew a vial of blood.

  “Now, Caroline, what was your exposure?”

  “Well, I was at the O’Hare airport—”

  “What?” Erica gazed at her, stunned. “You were the sole survivor who was quarantined, weren’t you? I thought you might have been a rumor. I wasn’t high up enough in the CDC at the time to be at your location when you were discovered. I heard about you in a briefing, but I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to try to find you, but the papers regarding your information were lost, and the hospital was abandoned. We all thought you were dead.”

  Caroline shivered, and Lincoln wrapped an arm around her waist and leaned in, kissing her temple. “I survived the terminal and the hospital. By the time I escaped, I didn’t fully understand the chaos around me. Everyone was panicking. I returned to my apartment and hid for a week. By the time everything went quiet, I realized what that meant…” Her voice broke. She didn’t want to ever relive those days, the silence, the bodies everywhere, the danger and the fear. And that awful silence, so loud that it seemed to roar like a jet engine.

  “I know.” Erica’s voice was dead and world-weary. “Everyone is gone. I lost my husband and my two children.”

  “I’m sorry,” Caroline whispered.

  Erica nodded and took a deep breath, focusing on her work. “You’re next, handsome.” Lincoln sat down and offered up his arm without a word.

  “I’ll get this tested right away,” Erica said as she finished.

  “Doctor, are we any closer to developing a vaccine?” Lincoln finally asked.

  “We think so,” Erica said. “I’m trying to replicate the rVSV–ZEBW vaccine, which was in trial testing for Ebola. It is a recombinant, replication–competent vaccine. There’s some promise the same process will be compatible with Hydra-1.”

  “What does that mean?” Caroline asked.

  “Think of it like this—it’s how we use a dead flu virus vaccine to inoculate people against live versions. The vaccine, if done correctly, can be engineered to express a glycoprotein, which is something that helps your cells interact. The vaccine would make that glycoprotein come from Hydra-1, so the person’s cells would then be provoked into neutralizing an immune response to the virus. It’s like injecting a tiny portion of the strand of a single virus rather than a complete strand. A full strand can replicate—a full strand can kill you. And it only takes one strand to do it.”

  Caroline felt dizzy at the thought of something so tiny having such devastating power.

  “But the more blood samples I have, the better I can focus on the way the virus interacts with immune people versus someone who is susceptible to infection.”

  Erica finished collecting a sample from Lincoln and then looked them both over in concern. “You two look exhausted. How much sleep have you had?”

  “Not much,” Caroline said. Lincoln merely grunted.

  “Why don’t you sleep in one of our guest rooms tonight? We have places where our staff can stay overnight. You will be safe here,” she said, and by the look she sent them Caroline knew that Erica had some understanding of what they had both been through in the last few months.

  “This way.” Erica led them to the elevators and down to the second floor. There were two halls on either side of the elevator bay that had real bedrooms, no hospital rooms, and a bathroom complete with a shower.

  “We usually have dinner around seven if you want to come down to the café. Pete finds food, and we usually make a decent meal.”

  “We have chickens!” Caroline offered. “They lay great eggs. We would be happy to start filling the kitchens with them.”

  Erica grinned. “Real eggs would be a treat. We’ve been going off of powdered eggs for a long time. I know that Pete and the others have been working to find any livestock nearby to get a f
arm up and running, but we aren’t located near much farm land.”

  Erica left them alone in the room while Caroline checked on Ellie. Holt and the others volunteered to take care of Kirby for a while. The baby was still fast asleep in her portable crib. Caroline collapsed onto the bed, covering her face with her hands as she tried to come to terms with the fact that she was here in Atlanta, at the CDC. And there was hope, real hope, all around them. It felt impossible, yet here they were. She looked up at Lincoln with tears in her eyes.

  “Honey, you’re killing me.” He knelt in front of her, cupping her face in his hands, and then he leaned in and kissed her.

  And just like that, her love for him burned away all fear and doubt. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer. They moved without words, shedding clothes until they were skin to skin. Lincoln pushed her flat on the bed and settled into the cradle of her thighs. He thrust into her, and she threw her head back, closing her eyes as exquisite pleasure began to build with every thrust.

  I’m alive… There’s hope… There’s us. She dug her fingers into his back, moaning as he moved within her, over and over, his steady rhythm fast and glorious as he reminded her how good it felt to surrender to instinct and emotion.

  Lincoln knew just the way to master her body, to control it and gently demand her surrender to his dominance. He nipped her neck and then captured her hands pinning them to the mattress on either side of her face as his body rocked into hers, their hips colliding.

  Gazes locked, they didn’t look away, didn’t kiss for along minutes as he circled his pelvis, finding a new spot to hit deep with her over and over. Her breasts rubbed against his chest, sweat dewing upon their bodies as they moved in time.

  She couldn’t forget how much she’d claimed to hate him and how she wouldn’t sleep with him even if were the last man on earth. How wrong she’d been about him…but she knew it was because he was the man for her, not because he’d been the only man there. Destiny…fate, whatever you wanted to call it, had brought them together that night at the grocery when he’d captured her. And now she was his, completely and he was hers.

  “I love your eyes when you start to come,” he growled low, the rumbling sound making her even wetter. She wriggled her hips, urging him to fuck her even harder.

  “I love everything you do,” she panted back, grinning at the look of primal delight on his face.

  “Then you’re going to fucking love this, honey.” A second later he unleashed that raw, almost violent passion that drove her into new heights of ecstasy. He fucked her like there was no tomorrow, like it was the last few precious seconds they had on earth together. She was going to scream his name in a second and she didn’t care. It was worth it to feel him inside her, driving in and out endlessly.

  The climax hit her, and she could only gasp his name aloud. He slammed a hand against the headboard and growled, his eyes fixed on hers as he followed her into bliss. They collapsed together in a tangle of limbs and sleepy shared smiles. Neither of them moved for the longest time. There was something undeniable intimate to lay together like that, their bodies still coming down from the sexual high and feeling the invisible bonds of love only strengthening between them. He cupped one of her breasts, gently stroking the pad of his thumb over a nipple and she shivered in delight.

  “I love when you touch me,” she whispered. Whenever his hands were on her, she felt cherished, even when he was making love to her like a wild animal.

  “One of these days I’ll make love to you slow,” he whispered. “Soft, sweet, like a proper gentleman.”

  Caroline giggled, her face flushing as she looked up at him from beneath her dark lashes.

  “I don’t know…I like how you do it now. It’s really…hot.” She felt embarrassed admitting that she liked him fucking her like that. Her old boyfriends had all been so polite, so very missionary and gentle. But when a man lost control, when he wanted her so much he lost his mind, that…that was hotter than anything in her wildest dreams. And that’s how it was when Lincoln made love to her.

  The bed creaked slightly as they shifted a little. Caroline threaded her fingers in his hair, playing with the silken strands and lightly scraping her nails against his skin on the back of his neck. His eyes almost rolled back in his head and his cock jerked inside her.

  “That feels good,” he whispered. “So fucking good.”

  Caroline continued to touch the nape of his neck and he lowered his head to kiss her. Their mouths moved slowly, languidly. He tasted her like he was sampling a fine bottle of whiskey and the following groan that escaped him echoed on her own lips. That single, long kiss erased the world around them, leaving her in a private cocoon of warmth with just Lincoln, their bodies connected as tightly as their hearts.

  She looked up at him after their mouths broke apart. There were a thousand things she wanted to tell him, but she couldn’t seem to find anything that truly expressed what lay in her heart.

  “Thank you for finding me, Lincoln, for believing in me.”

  He nuzzled her cheek. “Thank you for finally sleeping with me.” He cracked a wolfish grin and she smacked his chest, laughing.

  “I’m serious!” she said.

  He sobered. “I’m the thankful one, honey. You’re something special and I was the lucky man to stumble upon you first. And there’s no way I’m letting you go now.” And then he kissed her again and for a long while later neither of them thought of anything else except that single, potent love spell sort of kiss that everyone dreams about having some day. It was the kind of kiss a person built dreams upon.

  Finally Lincoln pulled the covers up around them as she lay close against him, feeling his heart beat against her cheek. She could almost set her own heart to the steady rhythm of his. Caroline drifted to sleep, and for the first time in months she wasn’t plagued with nightmares, not at first.

  She was back at home, eating dinner with her parents, laughing as Natalie and Rick teased each other. Ellie tried to communicate in her own baby babble way, and her little blue eyes were full of mischief and wonder. But then Ellie coughed, and her eyes were suddenly wreathed with a strange red color. Then blood trickled down her tiny nose, and she coughed again.

  “Ellie!” Caroline bolted upright in bed. For a moment nothing around her was familiar. It took her a moment to back away from the panic she felt.

  “Caro…” Lincoln tried to draw her back down in bed, but she didn’t let him. Something had woken her. Something was wrong.

  A tiny cough came from Ellie’s crib. Caroline leapt out of bed, throwing her clothes back on before she rushed over to check on the baby.

  “No!” The word was a strangled cry as it escaped her. Blood had clotted around Ellie’s nose, and her face was pale—too pale.

  “Caroline?” Lincoln got out of bed, pulling on his pants and boots. He knelt down beside her.

  “I thought she was immune. I was sure. How else could…” Caroline was numb. Frozen. What could she do? An awful roar seemed to fill her head like the sound of a tornado, a deafening noise that made it impossible to think.

  “Hang on, I’m going for help.” Lincoln’s words seemed to come through the vast distance of a tunnel submerged with water.

  She reached out and lifted the baby into her arms, cradling Ellie against her chest. At that moment she would have given anything for the child to take her strength, her immunity. Tears fell onto the baby’s blanket, one that Caroline’s mother had stitched by hand with the kind of love only a grandparent could have.

  “You are our hope,” she whispered to Ellie. “You’re the last of the Kellys.” The baby blinked slowly, and her blue eyes were glassy. “Don’t you die on me, do you hear?”

  Lincoln burst into the room with Erica right behind him. Caroline held out the baby, her body shaking. Erica carried the baby away, and Caroline stayed on the floor by the crib. Lincoln lifted her up into his arms and carried her back to the bed. They didn’t speak. He understood her, understood that
she needed the silence, needed to wall herself off from everything or else she wouldn’t survive the grief that was laying siege to her heart.

  Nat, I tried. I tried to take care of her. I loved her as if she were my own. I’m so sorry.

  She closed her eyes, but she only saw her sister’s face there waiting for her. Not her sister all grown up, but when they were little.

  Nat leaned over the bathtub while Caroline bathed, sharing her favorite rubber ducky, which wore a black top hat. Nat turned the flashlight on as they giggled inside a blanket fort. Nat tossed Caroline the keys to her car so she could take her driver’s test in Nat’s vintage red Mustang. Now she saw her sister’s face in her dying baby, and it was like seeing Nat’s grave all over again.

  She’d had hope, hope that had been crushed right in front of her. There would be no coming back from this grief if Ellie didn’t survive.

  Lincoln watched night fall outside their small guest room in the CDC headquarters. He didn’t want to leave Caroline alone, but he had to see Dr. Kennedy, see if there was any news on Ellie’s condition.

  “Caroline, I’ll be right back,” he murmured and kissed her temple. She didn’t move as he left, didn’t acknowledge him. She was in shock. He tucked her under a few extra blankets and left the room. Outside, his three friends stood facing him, their expressions grim.

  “We heard. How is she?” Julian asked.

  “Bad. She’s in shock.”

  Miles and Jason stared down at their combat boots, wordless. They no doubt felt the same as him. Fucking useless. Even on the worst days of his job, when he was pinned down, the enemy surrounding him, the crack of gunfire and the explosion of debris around him, he still felt like he could fight back. Even his fists would be left if he ran out of ammo. But this? The invisible monster lurking in a space so small, dormant until a susceptible host came along? He couldn’t put a bullet in the head of a microscopic strand of Hydra-1. Razor-sharp rage cut through him, and he surrendered to the wrath.