Kissing & Telling: A Friends To Lovers Romance (Breaking The Rules Novel Book 1)

by Jenna Reed

  Her eyes flicker up to mine, and I see the sadness reflecting from her words in their depths. “I feel like my mood should be a prime example of why we shouldn’t do this. It would only complicate our relationship further. I’ll get over it. I just need to get my hormones back under control.” My chest aches as her words wash over me, over and over again. She might be right, taking in all the facts, but it still leaves my chest aching at the thought that we will always be friends and never anything more.

  Since we were kids, I’ve dreamt of making her mine. Now I have the chance and it’s all but slipping through my fingers.

  “Okay, back to friends it is,” I announce in defeat, trying not to let my disappointment show. “You’re right, we’ve complicated our friendship enough, let’s not risk it by adding something else to the mix. I can live with that. As long as I still have you in my life, I’ll be okay.” I give her a reassuring smile and all I can think is, can I really live with that?

  Live with being just friends.

  It’s been a week since our not a date dinner and I’m still not sure about the answer she gave me. Our friendship has been strained since the night I took her virginity. We’ve tried to go back to normal.

  I’ve tried not to think about her petal-pink lips, or her firm ass, or the way she feels in my grip while I thrust into her, but it’s a lot fucking harder to go back to being friends after having tasted her. Every time she walks into my office, I have to stop myself from bending her over the desk and fucking her senseless.

  I’ve never wanted a woman so much in my life. There is no replacement for Bailey, nothing can lessen the damn hold she has on me, on my heart.

  Shaking my head, I have to tell myself I’m not a teenage boy. All I can think about is sex. Sex with Bailey. I don’t know how many times I’ve jerked off to the image of my best friend in the last week. There is seriously something wrong with me and yet I wouldn’t change a damn thing. I’m happy Bailey gave herself to me... I just wish, well, I wish she would consider a friends with benefits option. I know it’s selfish of me, and maybe she wants a relationship. I don’t know, all I know is that I want her, and I’ll do whatever I can to have her again.

  Tapping my fingers against my chin, I think long and hard. Maybe I just need to get laid. It didn’t occur to me until this very second that I haven’t had sex with anyone else since Bailey.

  I almost laugh. I have no idea why I didn’t think of this sooner. I probably need to get some random pussy, fuck the thought of Bailey and I right out of my head. Yeah, that’s it. Reaching into my pocket, I take out my phone.

  Scrolling through my contact lists, I find the name and number I’m looking for. Candy… if that’s even her real name. I met her at some bar a while back, and unlike most of the women I fuck, she was completely on board with the whole sex only deal.

  Typing out a message, I send her a quick text, knowing that’s all it’s going to take with her. She doesn’t need to be taken out to dinner first. No wining and dining her. All she’s hungry for is my cock.

  Me: You busy tonight?

  She replies right away.

  Candy: No, wanna come to my place?

  Bingo.

  Me: On my way.

  I’m out the door a few minutes later. God, I can’t wait to get my dick wet. She only lives a couple miles away, and before I realize it, I’m standing on her doorstep and rapping my hand against her heavy wooden door.

  She lives in a nice apartment complex, the kind that has a doorman. I’ve never asked her what she does for work, not that I care really since she’s nothing more than a quick fuck, but she must have a nice paying job, or come from old money if she lives in a decent place like this.

  The door opens and Candy appears in the doorway, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and a white tank top without a bra on. Her nipples are visible, hardened, and begging to be sucked.

  “You like my outfit, I see.” She giggles, motioning for me to come in with bedroom eyes.

  “I’m going to like it even better when it’s on the floor.”

  “You want a drink first?” she asks without batting an eye at my comment.

  “No, I want you naked and riding my cock.”

  “Let’s go then.” Leaving me in the entryway, she starts toward her bedroom. My body finally catches up with my brain and I follow behind her a couple steps, keeping my eyes on her firm ass. She must work out every day, her ass is almost too firm, it doesn’t even jiggle as she walks. Bailey’s ass is perfect. It’s round and firm but soft at the same time. I want to sink my teeth into it, my fingers into it.

  “You okay?” I look up, realizing that we are in Candy’s bedroom and I’ve been fantasizing over Bailey’s ass for the last minute. Shit.

  “I’m good,” I lie and grab the hem of her tank top, pulling it up and over her head, freeing her double D tits from the flimsy fabric.

  Bending down, I take one of the perky peaks into my mouth and suck, trying my very best to push away every thought clouding my mind. Candy moans, running her fingers through my hair while arching her back, pushing her tits into my face.

  Releasing her nipple with a loud pop, I nudge her back toward her bed and push her down onto the mattress. Her lips part and a gasp escapes them while her legs fall open, making the tiny shorts slide to the side, giving me the perfect view of her bare pussy.

  My dick should be rock hard right now, but for some fucking reason, it isn’t. It’s like it’s broken or something. Growling in frustration, I climb onto the bed and over top of her, caging her beneath my body. Gazing down at her, I try and see Candy, but the only person I see is Bailey, her chestnut brown hair against the sheets, an innocent grin on her soft lips.

  Jesus. I’m so fucked. I shake my head, willing the images before me away.

  Candy’s flowery perfume invades my senses, it doesn’t smell bad, but it smells wrong. Hell, everything is wrong. The way she smells, not like strawberries and cream. The way she feels, not soft, and curvy. The way she looks and acts.

  Everything is wrong and I know this because it’s the wrong woman.

  “You sure you okay, big guy?” She bats her blue eyes at me, and I pull away, sagging down onto the mattress beside her.

  “No… I’m not. I’m sorry, Candy… but I can’t do this.” I wouldn’t blame her if she kicked me out right now. Hell, I would kick me out right now. When she doesn’t make a move to walk me toward the door, I’m a little surprised.

  “Having a hard time getting someone out of your head?”

  “That obvious, huh?” I get up from the bed, watching as she pushes herself up onto her elbows. I can feel her eyes on my skin.

  “Well, it’s kind of my job. I’m a therapist,” she clarifies.

  “Shit, I might start calling you for something else then.” I give her a grin before running my hands through my hair.

  A bubble of laughter escapes her lips. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No, I think I’ll just go. I don’t want to waste your time, or mine any further. I thought this is what I needed, but it’s clear as day that fucking someone else isn’t going to fix my problem.” As soon as I say the words, I realize how crude I sound.

  “I’m sorry…” I turn around, grimacing.

  Candy lifts a hand. “Don’t be. If you want to hook up again, give me a call. I’m always here.”

  I nod, feeling every bit of the asshole I am. Showing myself to the door, I open it and leave. Once in the hallway and alone, I try and gather my thoughts.

  Fucking Christ. My cock is broke. Every time I close my damn eyes, I see my best friend, naked, lying on my bed, looking very much like a sacrificial lamb.

  What the fuck am I supposed to do? Bailey doesn’t want to be anything more than friends, but I can’t just be friends with her anymore. I have to do something, say something to her, because I can’t live like this anymore.

  I need her.

  I want her.

  And I’ll be damned if I won’t h
ave her again.

  9

  Bailey

  The insistent knocking on my door gives me an instant headache. Whoever the hell is on the other side of that door is going to get their ass handed to them. They’ve got balls of steel coming to my place unannounced at... I glare down at my phone, ten o’clock at night?

  Stomping across my apartment and to the front door, I unlock the deadbolt and twist the knob pulling the heavy wooden door open in a haste. My mouth opens with a slew of words red hot and on the tip of my tongue.

  Every profanity I planned to expel gets stuck in my throat when I see Elijah standing on the other side of the door. His blue eyes hold an undeniable hunger, and if I didn’t know better, I would say he was looking at me as if he was ready to devour me.

  “I’m sorry to just show up here, even more at this time of night, but I need to talk to you, and it can’t wait until tomorrow, and what I want to talk about isn’t really something we could do over the phone.” He lifts a hand and rubs at the back of his neck. The tension in his jaw and the muscles of his body are visible.

  Whatever he wants to talk about, it’s bothering him, eating away at him like a disease.

  Swallowing thickly, I step aside, waving my arm in the air motioning for him to come inside. Exhaling a sigh of what I assume is relief, he crosses the threshold and walks straight into the living room. There he flops down on the couch and into the same spot where I was sitting just five minutes ago.

  Closing the door, I return to the living room and take a seat next to him, careful not to brush his leg with mine as I sit down. The last thing I need is to touch him, because one touch is all it’s going to take to send my walls crumbling to the ground.

  “Look, I know this whole situation is fucked up. You are my best friend, and I shouldn’t think about you the way I have been, but I can’t shut this shit off. I want you, Bailey. I want you so bad I can’t fucking stand it. You’re like a damn drug. I’ve tried to forget about you…” The air grows thick between us, making it hard for me to breathe and when his gaze turns from his hands and to my face, I pale. His brows draw downward, and a frown appears on his lips. He looks so defeated, so broken.

  “I’ve tried, Bailey, believe me when I say this to you. I’ve tried to forget… forget how soft your skin is, what your lips taste like. I’ve tried to forget that you smell like ripened strawberries and the way you moan and sigh my name when you fall apart.”

  His hands ball into tight fists and press against his knees. His body vibrates with a number of emotions, but I can’t pinpoint which one is pushing him over the edge.

  “And I can’t fucking have sex with anyone else because all I can think about is having sex with you. It’s you, Bailey. When I close my eyes, it’s you, when I think about fucking someone else, it’s you. You’ve broken me, and I need you to fix me. Fix me, please. I’m begging you, just put me out of my misery.”

  My lips part and my skin heats beneath his hands when he grabs onto me, pulling me closer. I want to say something, and I should, but my brain is beyond overwhelmed with all the confessions he’s just tossed on me.

  Fuck, it’s not only my mind but my whole body that’s overwhelmed. What is he saying? What does this all mean? He’s broken…? What am I supposed to do? How do I fix him? All of these questions I should be asking him, but I can’t... I just can’t make the words come out.

  “Fucking Christ, Bailey. Say something.” The impatience in Elijah’s tone makes me flinch and I flick my gaze up to his face.

  “I…” Licking my lips, I speak whatever words appear in my mind. “What do I do? How do I fix this?”

  “I don’t know.” Gripping my hands tightly in his, he continues, “I really don’t know, but I do know I have to have you. I can’t stand the distance that’s formed between us. I love you. I always have, and always will, nothing will ever change that. Nothing we do will ever make that go away, no other woman will ever take your place. I mean it, Bailey.”

  Dizzily I look down at our joined hands. He loves me? He doesn’t mean actual love, does he? I shake my head as if I’m answering my own question.

  “Is this… are you asking me to have sex with you?” He doesn’t answer, but his eyes do. The confliction of the situation flickering in them. I can feel the weight of all of this resting on my shoulders. My heart races inside my chest. My already throbbing pussy clenches and I know if he says yes, if he wants sex right now, I won’t be able to deny him.

  I want him… badly, and have since I gave myself to him that first night.

  I’ve tossed around his proposal from last week inside my head thinking about all the pros and cons of a friends with benefits relationship and all I can think about is how much I still want him. Maybe we need to screw the need and want out of each other? Right now, we’re both clearly miserable, so maybe this is what we need. Without putting much thought into what will happen, I look up at him, my eyes piercing his.

  “Kiss me,” I order on a whisper and without even a single sliver of hesitation, he leans into me, his hands releasing mine, and moving up to cradle my cheeks.

  His thumbs brush over my hot skin. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want to hurt you. If you don’t want this, tell me now…”

  “We’re both miserable without each other, and I want you as much as you want me,” I whisper as if I’m telling a secret.

  He smiles at me wryly, and then crashes his lips into mine, causing me to gasp at the impact. Kissing him is like breathing for the first time after holding your breath underwater for an immense amount of time. It’s earth-shattering and refreshing, it tears apart my soul and leaves an imprint on my heart.

  Snaking my arms around his neck, I pull him closer, not wanting a single inch of space between our bodies. I want us to mold together, to become one single entity. We kiss for a while and my entire body starts to burn up. It feels like I’m on fire. My need for him pulsing like it has its own heartbeat.

  Like a woman possessed, my hands grab at his clothes, gripping handfuls of fabric, trying to tear it off his body. He’s doing the same, the only difference being that he actually manages to rip my clothing, tearing the thin nightgown clean off my body.

  My nipples are like hardened jewels on my chest, and lightning bolts of pleasure zing down my spine, straight into my core, with the friction of his body against mine. It shouldn’t feel this good to have his hands on me. I shouldn’t want my best friend like this… but I can’t stop myself. Pushing him back against the couch, I swing my legs over his lap and straddle him.

  “I wanted to do this right,” Elijah pants into my ear, one of his hands brushing the hair from my neck so that he can suck on the tender flesh.

  “What you did last time felt pretty right to me.” I grin, pressing my panty covered pussy against his hardened cock that’s still hidden inside his jeans. With a desperate need, I grind myself onto his erection. Hands grip onto my ass a second later and as I pepper kisses against his throat and jaw, he lifts me up. Wrapping my legs around his middle, he carries me into the bedroom, his lips pressing against every exposed inch of flesh he can reach.

  “Elijah,” I moan, and it echoes through the apartment and back into my ears.

  “I’ll go slower this time,” he tells me as he lays me down on the bed. My chest is heaving, my heartbeat thundering in my ears when he dips his fingers into the waistband of my panties and slowly drags them down my legs. The excruciatingly slow speed driving me to the edge of insanity. I want to feel him all over me, his body on top of mine, pressing me into the mattress, his cock inside me, owning me, sinking into me over and over again.

  “I don’t want slow. I want you. Now,” I hiss, and watch as a visible shudder runs through his body at my confession. His eyes darken to a shade that I’ve never seen before, a beautiful midnight blue.

  “You don’t know what you’re asking for.” Of course, he would say that, but that’s the thing, he hasn’t any idea how badly I want him, how much I’ve craved him.r />
  Grabbing both his wrists, I bring his hands to my breasts. He kneads them, and I arch off the bed at his sinister touch. It’s like gasoline on an already out-of-control fire. He sparks me, makes me burn brighter than I ever have before. He squeezes them, and I place my hands over his wanting him to squeeze them harder, needing to feel his touch deep within my bones.

  “Please, I know what I want. I want you… inside of me, just like last time. Except this time, don’t hold back. Give us both what we need, what we want.”

  With his hands still on my breasts, I start to tug on his shirt again. This time he takes it off, revealing his muscled torso. My mouth waters and I feel a gush of moisture between my legs at the sight before me. Tight abs, each one begging for my lips to press against.

  “I’m going to fuck you, Sunflower. Fuck you hard enough that you’ll feel me the way I feel you, in here.” He points to my heart and then flicks the button on his jeans, kicking them and his boxers off and onto the floor.

  There’s no need for him to prepare me further, I’m already drenched with need, my arousal coating my thighs now. He gives me a smug grin as he takes his length into his hand and pumps it. The need to taste him at least once, consumes me and I find myself sitting up and reaching out for his length without even thinking.

  “You don’t have to,” he hisses as I touch the velvety smooth head pressing against the slit of his cock with my thumb.

  “But I want to,” I say, trying my best to sound seductive. I push him down onto the mattress. His head hits the pillow and one of his hands finds its way into my hair. I kneel on the mattress beside him and lean over, taking his long, thick, shaft into my mouth.

  I swirl my tongue around the head and against the slit a few times before I take more of his length into my mouth. I gag, and my eyes water when his smooth head bumps against the back of my throat.