Keeping Time

by Jamie Craig

  Ana

  * * * *

  Date: April 7, 2007

  To: ana_moon

  From: bj_scalia

  Subject: Re: Ex

  You’re killing me here. If I find out you’re tall, too, I’m a goner.

  Ben

  * * * *

  Date: April 7, 2007

  To: bj_scalia

  From: ana_moon

  Subject: Re: Ex

  5’10”. Are you tall enough for my favorite position?

  Ana

  * * * *

  Date: April 7, 2007

  To: ana_moon

  From: bj_scalia

  Subject: Re: Ex

  6’3”

  My wall, or yours?

  Ben

  * * * *

  Date: April 8, 2007

  To: bj_scalia

  From: ana_moon

  Subject: I’m Sorry

  Hey Ben,

  I almost didn’t write this email. And then I re-read our exchange last night, and I almost just canceled my Internet subscription so that sort of thing never happens again. Yes, it would be easier to cut back on the wine, but I never said the decision was reasonable.

  But before I cut myself off completely from the online world, I thought I’d email and apologize for my behavior. First, I had no right to pry into your personal life. So I’m sorry for those three questions (four if you count the last one about how tall you are, and I do). And I’m sorry for distracting you from your work.

  Also, I never cheated on my husband. And I would never cheat on anybody. I’m not a cheater. Even if maybe it is a little hot.

  Anyway, I’m going to hide under the bed and sleep off the rest of this hangover. So much for cleaning and gardening today, huh?

  If I promise not to indulge in any more drunken emailing, will you still talk to me?

  Have a good weekend,

  Ana

  * * * *

  Date: April 9, 2007

  To: ana_moon

  From: bj_scalia

  Subject: Re: I’m Sorry

  Dear Ana,

  Please don’t be sorry. I’m not. The only thing I regret is that you feel bad about it now. It was fun, and I practically begged you to e-mail me so that I could get out of grading my tests. Well, I practically begged for more reasons than that, but I don’t want to make you feel more uncomfortable than you already do.

  Time to be honest here. I would still want to talk to you if you were a midget sumo wrestler retired in Greenland. You are the most eloquent, engaging woman I’ve met in a very long time. Does it help that you’re 5’10” and have brown eyes? Let’s put it this way. I was charmed long before I knew how tall you were. The other stuff is just window dressing. Very, very nice window dressing, but still.

  I didn’t write back yesterday because a) you said you were sleeping off your hangover and I didn’t want to bother you, and b) I wanted to get all my grading done so that you wouldn’t worry about being a distraction any more. I didn’t even turn on the tv and there was an MST3k marathon on, so go me on the restraint. But I’m done now, and you should be home—unless you’re out in your garden already—and I’m hoping you’re not too embarrassed to e-mail me back. I like you, Ana. Don’t let a bottle of wine and my insatiable curiosity about you put a stop to what I think could be a beautiful friendship.

  Ben

  * * * *

  Date: April 9, 2007

  To: bj_scalia

  From: ana_moon

  Subject: Re: I’m Sorry

  Ben,

  You’re very sweet. Everything seemed much worse yesterday, when I had an elephant using my skull for a tympani. But I’m feeling much better now, as they used to say on Night Court. Well, I still can’t believe some of the things I wrote, but I’m sure I’m not the only one who got a loose tongue (or loose fingers) when drunk.

  I’m going to spend the day indoors. The weeding can wait, and it’s surprisingly cold outside. I’m glad you got your grading done. What have you got planned for the day?

  Ana

  * * * *

  Date: April 9, 2007

  To: ana_moon

  From: bj_scalia

  Subject: Re: I’m Sorry

  Knowing you’re going to be in all day? Talking to you.

  What are the odds of talking you into chatting today? I’m here, you’re here, there’s no work that requires our full attention. We won’t have to worry about delayed gratification then.

  Ben

  * * * *

  Date: April 9, 2007

  To: bj_scalia

  From: ana_moon

  Subject: Re: I’m Sorry

  Ok. But you’ll have to tell me what to do. I’ve never chatted with anybody before.

  Ana

  Chapter 2

  ana_moon: Hey

  bj_scalia: See? I told you it wasn’t hard.

  ana_moon: No, I managed to get here without breaking anything. So go me.

  bj_scalia: And now I get to talk to you in real time.

  bj_scalia: E-mail was good, but this is better.

  ana_moon: Do you chat a lot? I always liked email because I had time to proof-read. Not that it seems to do much good…

  bj_scalia: Some. It helps with family living on the other side of the country. Cheaper than calling.

  ana_moon: Ahh. True. Since this isn’t so bad, maybe I’ll start joining the Street Team chats. Or are they even more unfocused than the board?

  bj_scalia: They usually start out pretty good. But then Emily (neil4eva) has a tendency to say something that pisses off Simon (sbourne_uk), and it breaks down from there. You’d be a welcome voice of reason, I think. Plus, you’d get to talk to me more. ;)

  ana_moon: Hmm, somehow I’m not surprised that Emily finds a way to get to the otherwise unflappable Simon. She’s a sweet girl, but sometimes I think she’s a little crazy. What about your fan, Jessica (moon-beam)? Does she ever show up in chat? I figure she must, given the way she follows you around the board, lol

  bj_scalia: She does not.

  ana_moon: She does not chat or she does not follow you around the board?

  bj_scalia: Follow me around.

  bj_scalia: She just loves the band.

  ana_moon: She does love the band….but I’m just saying I don’t think that’s the only thing she loves. ;)

  bj_scalia: Really? Huh. I never thought about that. Honestly. Though I suppose that would explain why she keeps offering me free music. I’m cheap, but I’m not that cheap, lol.

  ana_moon: Oh yeah? What does a girl need to offer to catch your attention?

  bj_scalia: Are we playing 20 questions again? You’re not going to get all upset about getting personal after we log off, are you?

  ana_moon: Sometimes I engage my fingers without putting my brain in gear. Especially when it comes to you.

  bj_scalia: Now that just sounds naughty.

  ana_moon: *blushes* Yes it does

  bj_scalia: I didn’t say it was bad.

  bj_scalia: And now you’ve *definitely* caught my attention.

  ana_moon: Now I guess I better decide what I want to do with it

  bj_scalia: Take your time. I’m a patient man. Especially when it comes to getting what I want. I got you to finally chat with me, didn’t I?

  ana_moon: I guess I’m going back to 20 questions mode. What is it that you want from me?

  bj_scalia: Now or in general?

  ana_moon: both

  bj_scalia: Your company, as much as you’re willing to share it. Some laughs. I’d ask for a photograph but that makes me feel a little skeezy.

  ana_moon: I don’t have one on my computer, or else I would send you one. Skeezyness be damned.

  bj_scalia: Will you tell me what you look like? I’ll share if you will.

  ana_moon: My mother is black and my father is white, so I’ve got a nice year-around tan. And a lot of curly hair that I no longer try to tame. I’ve been told I have a nice smile. And I’m about 130.

  bj_scalia:
Yeah. I’m a goner.

  ana_moon: *laughs* Your turn to share.

  bj_scalia: 6’3”, 175, light brown hair and green eyes. Or blue-green, if you ask my mother. I also hate to shave so seeing me scruffy is not unheard of. But just scruffy. It doesn’t take long for the itching to drive me crazy and I get rid of it.

  ana_moon: I have to admit, I have a weakness for the scruffy type

  ana_moon: with blue-green eyes. I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody with blue-green eyes, actually

  bj_scalia: Yes, you have. Me. :D

  ana_moon: I meant besides you ;) Do you have photographic proof?

  bj_scalia: Of the eyes? No. I can probably get you photographic proof of other details, though…

  ana_moon: Wow, my mind just went to a naughty place.

  bj_scalia: Ha. My evil plan has worked then.

  ana_moon: You’re some sort of evil genius. What other details were you referring to?

  bj_scalia: I have a picture of my size thirteen feet. Because you know what they say about men with big feet…

  ana_moon: he wears big shoes?

  bj_scalia: Exactly.

  ana_moon: what are you doing with a picture of your size 13 feet? Do you need to prove your shoe size often?

  bj_scalia: I had to prove to my mother that I’d actually gone out and bought new shoes. When I went home at Christmas, I got hell for showing up in my favorite Nike’s because there was a hole in the bottom that the snow seeped through and got my foot soaked. I wouldn’t let her buy me shoes while I was there, because hello, I’m not 12, but I did have to promise to do it as soon as I got back to LA.

  ana_moon: lol. She should have just been happy you showed up in sneakers instead of sandals or flipflops. I’m not even sure I have the proper footwear to travel to a place with snow.

  bj_scalia: Only the fact that I grew up there saved me from packing my sandals. I live in them on the weekend. It’s Nikes during the week because of all the walking on campus, and running when I realize I’m late getting to class. And we’re not really sitting here talking about my choice of footwear, are we?

  ana_moon: You brought it up. Besides, I’ve learned a lot about you from this discussion. You’re a good son, but independent enough to insist on buying your own shoes. You sprint across campus a lot, which tells me you’re in good shape…

  bj_scalia: I never said I was fast, lol.

  ana_moon: Fast isn’t always a good thing anyway

  bj_scalia: I do swim regularly, though.

  ana_moon: So you are in good shape. Is it wrong if I want to ask if you wear a speedo or trunks?

  bj_scalia: Speedo. I could go put it on for you right now, if you want. ;)

  ana_moon: Depends. What are you wearing now?

  bj_scalia: Just sweats.

  bj_scalia: What are you wearing?

  ana_moon: Sweats, too. And my favorite Moon T-shirt from their Green album tour

  bj_scalia: I love that tour. But I don’t want to talk about Moon. I want to talk about you. Or me. Or you and me.

  ana_moon: I suppose that means you’re tired of talking about your foot and swimwear, too. So you really didn’t mind my drunk emails?

  bj_scalia: Absolutely not. They were just starting to get really interesting when they stopped. Did you fall asleep?

  ana_moon: Fell asleep. Passed out. I guess it depends on how you look at it. I’m glad you didn’t mind, because I’ve been thinking about the exchange. A lot.

  bj_scalia: Me too.

  ana_moon: what have you been thinking about?

  bj_scalia: The part about you and me and a wall.

  bj_scalia: There. Now you know I’m a perv.

  ana_moon: That’s ok. I’ve been thinking about that part, too.

  bj_scalia: I’m suddenly very glad I’m wearing baggy sweats.

  ana_moon: lol Is the other thing they say about big feet true?

  bj_scalia: It is for me. Not that I’ve measured. Since high school, that is. ;)

  ana_moon: *laughs* I doubt it’s changed much since then.

  bj_scalia: In size? No. In other ways? Let’s just say I’ve moved from being a sprinter to going the long distances.

  ana_moon: I’m not calling you a liar, but I have a hard time believing you don’t already have a girlfriend

  bj_scalia: Why?

  ana_moon: Because you have excellent taste in music, you’re smart, you’re funny, you’ve got big feet and can go long distances. Unless you’re some sort of troll, I’d expect somebody would have snapped you up by now.

  bj_scalia: lol, no, I’m not a troll. But I am kind of picky about the women I go out with. I have this annoying habit of wanting to have a conversation after all the really hot sex, or before even. And I mean a real conversation. Not shit about shopping or fashion or Brangelina. Important stuff. Like Decrepit Moon. ;)

  ana_moon: lol. I have to have all my conversations before the really hot sex. If you can have conversations *after* the hot sex, you’re doing something wrong

  bj_scalia: I’m young. I have stamina. ;)

  ana_moon: I bet you do.

  ana_moon: What is your favorite position?

  bj_scalia: Favorite? *thinks* Probably on my back so that women ride me. It frees my hands up to touch all my favorite places. Which would make your favorite high on my list, too.

  ana_moon: Not many guys know how to use their hands in that sort of situation. It’s a rare talent. Or I’m dating the wrong guys.

  bj_scalia: You’re definitely dating the wrong guys. You’re not dating me. ;)

  ana_moon: You’re making a strong case for yourself.

  bj_scalia: So does that mean if I ask you out, you’d say yes?

  ana_moon: Eventually, probably. You know, all you hear about is the pervs you find online who try to lure unsuspecting women into their basements or something.

  ana_moon: I’d have to get to know you a bit better

  bj_scalia: Fair enough. Like I said, I can be patient.

  bj_scalia: Though I think I’ll probably be hard as a rock until I get the chance to finally meet you.

  ana_moon: And I’ll probably be thinking about you being hard as a rock. A part of me thinks being lured into a basement wouldn’t be so bad if you were doing the luring.

  bj_scalia: Especially since I already told you, you can do the chaining.

  ana_moon: Maybe I’m trying to re-direct attention away from my own evil plan

  bj_scalia: To chain me up?

  ana_moon: Well you don’t know if I’m one of those pervs people warn you about.

  bj_scalia: A little bit of perviness can be a good thing.

  ana_moon: How so? I want an example

  bj_scalia: Of my own perviness?

  ana_moon: Yes

  bj_scalia: Or how it can be a good thing?

  ana_moon: How is your own perviness a good thing?

  bj_scalia: I meant a good thing for a relationship, lol.

  bj_scalia: I think it keeps things spicy.

  bj_scalia: Keeps us on our toes.

  bj_scalia: And I think this is derailing the conversation, lol.

  bj_scalia: Because now all I can think about is getting you naked in a dark basement where we have to do everything by touch.

  ana_moon: That isn’t so much a derailing as it is an interesting turn

  ana_moon: but I suppose it doesn’t help your unfortunate hard-as-a-rock condition

  bj_scalia: I have my own ways for taking care of my condition. They’re not nearly as interesting as if you were here with me, but I manage.

  ana_moon: If I were there with you right now, and we didn’t have chains or a dark basement to work with, what would you do?

  bj_scalia: Kiss you. Women with great smiles have great mouths for kissing.

  ana_moon: I like kissing. There’s not much better in this world than a long, thorough make-out session, imo

  bj_scalia: I have a great couch. It’s actually long enough for me to stretch out on it. We can kiss there. With you
stretched out on top of me.

  ana_moon: I like the way you think. Me stretched out on top of you, and you in nothing but your sweats.

  bj_scalia: You can only be wearing your sweats, too.

  bj_scalia: I’ll bet you get hot all over. You sound like the kind of woman who throws everything she is into everything she does.

  ana_moon: Okay. We’ll both be dressed from the waist down.

  bj_scalia: Is the thought of this turning you on right now as much as it is me?

  ana_moon: Yes

  ana_moon: I’m squirming in my chair here

  bj_scalia: Are you wet? Check for me.

  ana_moon: *checks* I am.

  ana_moon: I think I have been since you mentioned you’re hard

  bj_scalia: Confession time. I’ve been stroking myself ever since you mentioned your evil plan.

  ana_moon: You’re good at typing with one hand

  ana_moon: I’m not, or else I might follow your example

  bj_scalia: Go on. Do it. I’m patient. I can wait for your messages.

  bj_scalia: Touch yourself, Ana.

  ana_moon: I might need a little help. What would you do after you kiss me?

  bj_scalia: After? You mean during. I’d slip one hand inside the waistband of your sweats so that I could touch your ass, hold you against me that way. That’s another weakness of mine.

  ana_moon: One hand on my ass. Where’s the other?

  bj_scalia: Stroking up your side. Touching the side of your breast. I’m probably not going to have access to your nipples because you’re going to be crushed as close as you can get to my chest.

  ana_moon: I think I’ll have one hand buried in your hair. I like to have a good grip. I’d be touching everywhere else I could reach with the other. Especially your shoulders

  bj_scalia: Just don’t hit ticklish spots. Because if you do, I’ll be forced to take serious action.

  ana_moon: Serious action? That sounds serious. What would you do? Because I’m very good at finding ticklish spots

  bj_scalia: I’d flip you over so that you’re on your stomach on the couch. Pin your hands over your head. Lick down your spine.

  ana_moon: Oh. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to find your ticklish spots asap.

  bj_scalia: Something tells me it’ll be worth it.

  ana_moon: Also, my pants are coming off. Um, now and in the little scenario

  bj_scalia: Good. Because now I’m thinking about how long your legs must be, and how easy it would be to force you up on your knees and slide underneath you so that I can eat you out.