Sanctuary

by Courtney McPhail

  But he knew that he couldn’t ignore reality just so he could feel good. He had to deal with this and judging by Veronica’s shaking, he was going to have to do it alone.

  He sighed and pulled off Audrey’s cap. “We gotta talk.”

  She kept her head down, eyes on her feet. He could understand not wanting to meet someone’s eyes so he let it go.

  “Ya scared the shit outta us today,” he said. “Lots of stuff happened as a result of that. Now, I ain’t blamin’ ya but ya gotta understand ya can’t ever do it again.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t think everybody would freak out,” Audrey said, her voice soft and young.

  “Why in the hell were ya down there anyway?”

  She shrugged her shoulders.

  “Nah, ya don’t get to play it like that. Tell me.”

  “I don’t know,” She chewed on her bottom lip as she looked away, “Because everybody else gets to do what they want. They get to go on runs and I get stuck with the babies and get bossed around by everybody. I just wanted to do something cool. When I saw the keys sitting there, I thought maybe if I could say I got to see the bunker, maybe Trey would think it was just as cool as what he got to see on the run.”

  All of this for some stupid boy.

  “Well, stupid choice to make if that’s what pissed ya off ‘cause ya ain’t gonna be doin’ anythin’ cool for a long time. From now on, ya don’t go anywhere ‘less me or Veronica tell ya to,” Jackson told her. “If ya ain’t with us workin’ then yer in your room ‘til further notice.”

  “Are you grounding me?”

  “Ya broke the rules, ya bet yer ass I’m groundin’ ya,” he said.

  She gave him the stink eye but then he saw her eyes drift to Veronica and her annoyance faded away.

  “Veronica, are you okay?” she asked.

  Veronica looked over at her and blinked a few times before the corners of her mouth turned up in a forced smile. “Yes, of course. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

  “I’m sorry I scared you and made you mad.”

  “Sweetie, I’m not mad,” Veronica replied, “But Jackson is right. This can’t ever happen again.”

  “It won’t,” Audrey promised as they reached the cabin. “I’ll go to my room now.”

  She went up the stairs, her head down and Veronica followed behind her, as if she wasn’t ready to let her out of her sight. When the screen door closed behind her, Veronica sunk to the step she was standing on, staring up at the closed door.

  “She’s okay,” he told her. “Safe and sound. Ya can stop worryin’.”

  “It’s not that,” Veronica said, burying her face in her hands before using them to push her hair back as she looked up at the sky. “What I did to Harold…I put a gun to his head.”

  “Ain’t the first time ya did that,” he said, trying to make a joke of it but she didn’t hear him.

  Instead she shook her head, her lips pressed tightly together. “I wanted to kill him. It would have been so easy. I could have pulled the trigger without a second thought.”

  He wanted to tell her it wasn’t true. He didn’t believe it was true but she did and he wasn’t sure he could say anything to convince her otherwise.

  “I told Quinton that killing that man back at the park wasn’t a big deal but I think he was right. Killing a man, it changes you. It makes it easier to pull the trigger the next time. I don’t want it to be easy. It shouldn’t be easy but as soon as I thought he had hurt Audrey, I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to kill him.”

  She dissolved into tears, burying her face in her hands as she was wracked with sobs.

  He didn’t have much experience with crying women, truth was anybody crying made him uncomfortable. But he knew that he couldn’t let her just sit there alone, crying her eyes out.

  He sat down on the step beside her and pulled her into his arms. She let him hold her, her hands fisting in his shirt as she buried her face in his chest.

  “Ya ain’t the only one who wanted to kill him,” Jackson told her. ”I wanted to do it too.”

  She lifted her head, her eyes devastated. “But you didn’t pull your gun until I did. I was out of control, I wasn’t listening to reason.”

  “Ya were scared, that’s all.”

  “I still am. I’m scared of what I’m capable of,” she whispered, her voice hoarse. “I always thought that the fact I love people deeply was something good about me but I think in this world, loving people like that makes you dangerous.”

  “That ain’t a bad thing,” Jackson said. “Look, I grew up with a Ma who loved herself, men, booze and pills. Wasn’t much love in her left over for me. I know what it’s like growin’ up without anybody lovin’ ya. Lovin’ someone so much that ya’d do anythin’ for ‘em ain’t somethin’ to be ashamed of. Ain’t somethin’ that makes ya bad.”

  She looked up, blinking back her tears. “I’m scared. I’m scared of what this world is turning me into. I’m a high school teacher, for God’s sake. I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be a killer.”

  “Then don’t be one,” he said. “Ya can’t change what happened but ya can make sure it don’t happen again. Ya ain’t lost, not even close. Ya can come back from this.”

  “You really think so?”

  “If there’s anythin’ I know ‘bout, it’s comin’ back from doin’ somethin’ awful. Ya can do it.”

  She smiled at him, her eyes shining a bright blue through her unshed tears and the strands of her hair that had fallen in her face.

  He wasn’t sure why he did it but he reached out and brushed the hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. He had never been one for touching others, years in prison making him hostile to it, but with Veronica, he found his hands itching with a need to touch her.

  She leaned into his hand, nuzzling her cheek against his palm and he let his thumb catch the last of her tears and wipe them away.

  He found himself being drawn closer to her, the space between them disappearing as he pressed his lips to hers. They were slightly chapped but warm and he wanted a better taste.

  The radio on Jackson’s belt let out a shrill beep before Malcolm’s voice came out of the speaker.

  “Get the kids in the bunker and then get your asses down to the boathouse. There’s a boat coming towards us.”

  Subject File # 749

  Administrator: Are you sure you weren’t being rash?

  Subject: Why does everyone keep asking me that?

  Administrator: I think it is because it was so abrupt.

  Subject: Yeah well so was his betrayal.

  Janet walked along the dock, her arms heavy with the package of shingles she carried from the boat to the wagon. Banks had gone and got the ATV to make the job of hauling the supplies out to the east point easier. They’d already taken two full loads out there and were pulling out the last of the supplies from the boat.

  She hadn’t minded the manual labour. It gave her time to think. After everything that had happened today, she needed to do a lot of thinking. She felt like she was seeing everything through a different set of eyes. She could see clearly now and she didn’t like what she saw.

  When she and Elaine had found Audrey, she had been overjoyed. As a mother she knew that Audrey’s absence was tearing Veronica apart and now they could end that.

  They had run to the boathouse with Audrey, not wanting to put Veronica through another moment more of pain than was necessary. Janet had expected the reunion to be touching and sweet, a sigh of relief from everyone that nothing bad had happened. She certainly hadn’t expected to find Harold next to a dead body and everyone standing around him with their weapons pointed at each other.

  What came after was a blur of angry words and lecturing that she had forgotten the instant Quinton had stood up to vouch for Harold’s claims. It had been a punch in the gut, the shock of his confession stealing her breath.

  He had known all this time that there was a freak here. She had brought her children there. S
he had let them play right outside the clinic alone while she was in the lodge cooking. She had sent the boys there with Elaine to try out the radio. He had known all that time that there was a freak only feet away and said nothing.

  She felt like she didn’t know Quinton at all. She had thought she had found a man who could finally live up to Eric but she had been wrong. He had hidden something that risked her children’s lives. She couldn’t trust him.

  As she dropped the shingles into the wagon, she realized what she had to do.

  She squared her shoulders, determined to treat this like pulling off a bandaid. Less pain if she did it quick instead of drawing it out.

  “Malcolm, I’ve got to go do something,” she said and he looked her over.

  “You okay?”

  “No, not really,” she admitted and he frowned, motioning for her to follow him away from the others.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, looking down at her with the familiar concern of an older brother.

  She sighed and looked out at the water, trying to steel herself to speak without crying. She wasn’t sure she could do this if she started crying.

  “I know I haven’t come out and told you but you’re observant so I’m guessing you know that Quinton and I are a thing.”

  Malcolm gave a small smile. “Yeah I managed to pick up on that.”

  “Well, that’s over now,” she said, clamping her mouth shut when her voice quavered on the last word. No, she wasn’t going to cry. Not for this.

  “What happened?” he asked, his forehead creasing with confusion.

  She was able to look him square in the eye now, her tears dried up as she gave him a look. “He knew that freak was down there and he kept it a secret. What if the freak had gotten out?”

  “But it didn’t and now it’s dead,” Malcolm said.

  “That’s not the point. Look, I get it. You were CIA for years so you are used to this whole keeping secrets for the greater good thing. You think it’s normal but it doesn’t work when you are in a relationship with someone. It doesn’t work when you have children to worry about. He should have told me so I could make the decision to put my children at risk or not.”

  “Janet, I don’t think he even thought of the possibility of the children getting hurt.”

  She looked up at him sadly. “And you don’t see the problem with that? How can I be with someone who doesn’t have my children’s safety as their top consideration?”

  He frowned at that, pulling his bottom lip in to chew on it a moment as he considered what she said. She could see in his eyes that he was trying to think of some other defence for Quinton but she didn’t want to hear it.

  “Malcolm, can you please just be my big brother right now and tell me that you’ll support my decisions and that if he bothers me you’ll kick his ass?” she asked and he smiled down at her.

  “Of course,” he said and pulled her against his chest, crushing her in a bear hug like he had done since they were children. “You need his ass kicked, I got you’re back.”

  “Thanks,” she said, patting him on the chest after he released her. He gave her shoulder one final squeeze before she headed towards The Hummingbird. She could hear the sound of shovels digging into dirt before she spotted them through the trees.

  Quinton looked up when she approached and he smiled at her but she kept her face neutral.

  “Can I speak to you?” she asked and his smile faded. He put down his shovel and followed her as she led him out of earshot of Nas and Harold.

  “Is something wrong?” he asked, his voice apprehensive.

  “You could say that,” she replied coolly, crossing her arms over her chest. “You know, after everything we’ve been through I thought you understood. I told you again and again that my children’s safety was the most important thing to me and then you do this.”

  “Janet, I don’t--”

  “The freak in the lab,” she clarified. “You knew and you didn’t tell me.”

  “I swore to Harold I wouldn’t say anything,” he said but she just shook her head.

  “My children could have died because you wanted to keep a promise to a man you barely know.”

  He reached out for her hand but she snatched it away and he looked hurt. “Janet, I swear I made sure it was safe. He was locked up far away from everybody. He wasn’t going to get out and hurt anyone.”

  “You can’t guarantee that,” she said. “If I had known there was a freak here, even one drugged and locked up, I never would have let my children out of my sight. Instead I let them run around here without a worry because I thought there was no chance that the infection could be here. But there it was all this time and anything could have happened and you knew.”

  “Janet--”

  “No!” she shouted and from the corner of her eye she saw the others stop and stare at them. She didn’t want to make a scene so she lowered her voice. “I told you that the deal with being with me was that my children come first. That you put your promise to Harold above them is a deal breaker.”

  His face fell and he shook his head. “You can’t mean that. Janet, please, what we have--”

  “Is over,” she finished for him. “I want you to stay away from me and my children.”

  With that, she turned on her heel and walked away from him.

  She needed to be away from all of them. She didn’t want them to see her cry. It might have been her choice to end it with Quinton but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

  She kept her head high, letting her tears fall silently down her cheeks as she walked up the path. It was only when she knew she was safely hidden from their eyes by the trees that she let her chin drop and her shoulders started to tremble.

  She knew she had done the right thing but it still hurt. She had only just recently accepted that she could see a future with him and now it was all gone.

  And so she let herself have a good cry as she walked down the path, tears dripping off her chin as she sniffled, letting herself take a moment to wallow in her heartache.

  But when the lodge came into view, she wiped her tears away and squared her shoulders again. It wouldn’t do to let the children see her crying. She had to be strong for them.

  She plastered a smile on her face and went to climb the steps to the lodge but the sound of fast footfalls on the path by the clinic stopped her. Veronica and Audrey came into view, the panic on their faces clear as they ran towards her.

  “They’ve spotted a boat on the water,” Veronica cried out and Janet instantly forgot about her broken heart. “Malcolm wants you and Jenny to take the children into the bunker now. Harold and Elaine are on their way back here to join you. Audrey, go with her, look after Hannah. I’ll be back soon.”

  Audrey nodded and rushed up the stairs to the lodge. Veronica watched her, her eyes scared as the girl disappeared inside.

  “I won’t let the girls out of my sight,” Janet promised her.

  She meant it. She would watch over all the children and she would die before she let anything happen to them.

  Subject File #742

  Administrator: What’s one thing you’ve learned since you came here?

  Subject: Things can change on a dime.

  Malcolm stood behind one of the trees along the shoreline, staring out at the water. He could see the dot on the horizon growing larger, its path unwavering as it headed straight for the island.

  “What do you see?” Malcolm asked Banks over the radio.

  “Just one boat,” Banks replied. “I count at least three people, maybe more, it’s hard to tell with the glare.”

  Craig had been the one to first spot the boat from the perch but once he’d called down the warning, Malcolm had told him to come down. They’d quickly hauled their weapons out of the boat and he had told Craig to take it around to the cove by the north point. If this went bad, he wanted there to be an exit strategy in place.

  He’d sent Elaine to get Harold and go back to the lodge to join Janet and the ki
ds and tasked her with getting them to the boat if he ordered it. He’d sent Banks up to the perch while the rest of them had fallen back behind the treeline for cover.

  “Alright, let us know if you see anymore,” Malcolm replied. “Kim, Lorraine, either of you see anything on the other side?”

  “Negative,” Lorraine replied.

  “Nothing,” Kim added.

  That was a good sign. If this was an attack then they weren’t doing a very good job of it.

  The sun was getting close to setting but there was still plenty of light to spot them as they made their straight shot towards the island. If they had no need for stealth, he’d expect them to be confident that they could take the island by force but without reinforcements, one little boatful of people couldn’t do that.

  “How do you want to play this?” Mendez asked him.

  “I’m not sure,” he admitted. “I don’t think it’s an attack. They could be other members of the Omega or they could be people fleeing the mainland who happened to spot the island.”

  The underbrush cracked behind them and Nas and Quinton appeared between the trees, cutting through them from the Hummingbird.

  “Do we know who it is?” Nas asked. “Are they Omega?”

  “Not sure,” Angela said as Claudia handed them rifles.

  More footsteps sounded and Jackson came crashing through the underbrush, followed by Veronica who was making considerably less noise.

  “Janet’s at the lodge with the kids,” Veronica told him. “Where do you want us?”

  Malcolm looked her over. She looked clear eyed and focused but he couldn’t forget the wild look she had had only a short while ago. He wasn’t sure he was ready to put a gun back in her hands. “You sure you’re up for this?”

  She flexed her fingers on the stock of her rifle. “Yeah, this I can do.”

  Malcolm looked around at all of them and found himself without any idea how to handle this. If this had happened this morning, he would have known exactly what to do without hesitation. He’d have them go out on that dock in full force and fire warning shots to force the invaders to flee and if they didn’t, they’d put them down.