It's Only Love

by Roy Glenn

  “So why are you tripping about it?” I asked, not believing we were having this conversation, because I thought he put this behind him. I had hoped marriage would end his thing with Bria and that he would concentrate on the good thing he had.

  “I just feel bad about it, that’s all. I’ve never cheated on Vanessa before.”

  “Really, Paul, never?”

  “Never. Not even close.”

  “Damn, man, I’m sorry. Not that you never cheated on Vanessa, but for putting you in that position. I would have never introduced you to her if I had known it was gonna cause you some type of moral dilemma.”

  “It’s not your fault, Vic. I knew what I was doing. Knew it was wrong and I did it anyway.”

  “Why did you?”

  “You really wanna know, Vic?”

  “No, Paul, I just asked you that to see if you were listening.”

  “I wanted her. Since the first time I saw her fine ass.”

  “She was on you and she wasn’t afraid to say it.”

  “I know.” Paul paused. “And I couldn’t resist her.”

  “Yeah, well, get over it, Paul. She isn’t worth going through no changes about.”

  “You’re right.”

  “That’s right. So let that shit go. It would be different if you were still messin’ around with her. But you’re not. Are you?” I asked again.

  “No, Vic, man. Like I said, not since the last time.”

  “You aren’t messin’ with anyone else, are you?”

  “No!” Paul shouted.

  I was glad to hear it because he was getting out of control with Bria. I couldn’t believe it when Paul told me that Bria came to his apartment when she knew Vanessa was there. When Vanessa opened the door, Bria told her that she was a friend of mine and she was looking for me. Then she had the nerve to go to dinner and the movies with them.

  Bria was out of control.

  I like Vanessa. She’s a good girl and she is good for him. And when you find the one for you, there shouldn’t be anybody else. Because no one else will do. And that’s where I am with Natasha. She is the one for me. Now the problem is, how can I show her that I am the one for her?

  When I got to Rhonda’s house, I let myself in. Rhonda always said, “You got a key, what you ringing the bell for? Just come on in.” Since she never let any man layup in her house that made me confident I could just come right on in.

  As I entered her living room, I saw Rhonda moving around like The Flash with her checklist in hand. She was making sure all that she needed was actually packed and ready for her departure. I almost laughed, but didn’t. These were the same organizational skills that Rhonda used to keep me and Stevie in line, our whole lives. She was the responsible one. But I wish she would relax sometimes. But Rhonda can’t do that, her family is her life. Always has been.

  I cleared my throat to get her attention, which made her look up. She smiled and came and hugged me tight.

  “Hey, Victor.”

  It didn’t matter what type of mode she was in, she was always a very loving and caring person. I wish my sister could find the right man for her; one that would take care of her. But I understand her need to be in charge of everything.

  She handed me a piece of paper. “That is a list of all the arrangements I made for tomorrow. Please make sure that everything is done the way I arranged it,” she said, and then she went back to zipping up her luggage. “I paid good money for it to be a beautiful event.”

  “You mean a better event than last year’s.”

  Rhonda stopped moving, her fists hit her hips and she looked at me. “Don’t even talk to me about the mess Debbie planned. There weren’t enough rooms blocked off, she didn’t have enough food and, for Christ sake, if you say dinner is at four, the least she could do was to serve it sometime around four o′clock.”

  “Not seven.”

  “She knows that Aunt Claire needs to eat at a certain time,” Rhonda said, and started moving again. “The last thing I need on this trip is for your Aunt Anita to call me, drunk, and complaining because everything was a mess.”

  “You know she will.”

  “All she does is complain and criticize. She gets on my nerves sometime.” Rhonda stopped and held up her right hand. “But I love my aunt.” The motion began again and she finished packing. “So I’m depending on you to make sure everything goes the way I planned it, baby brother.”

  I swooped in to grab her luggage before she could. “I will. Would you stop worrying? Everything will be perfect, Rhonda.”

  “I paid a lot of money, that’s all.”

  “And that’s why it will be perfect. Now do me a favor, while you are in Cali can you relax some?”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me? I’m going to a conference; this is not a retreat.”

  “Conferences end at night.”

  “Then I have calls that need to be made and meetings I need to be in on.” She was making excuses as usual.

  “I know, but life is passing you by and you need to relax a little.” She stared at me before turning away. “Go have a drink with somebody or something. You know, have some fun for a change.”

  “There’s never any time for relaxing. So please tell me if something goes wrong.”

  We never talked about it, but Rhonda was once engaged. That was five years ago and now, she’s all about work and the family. Family, and then work. No time for love. I get it. Heartbreak isn’t easy. I hated what John did to her, but she was pretty and still young enough to find the right man, get married, and maybe have that baby she’s always wanted. If only she stopped to smell the roses, she could find the one.

  The one. Like I have.

  It was then that the doorbell rang and Rhonda was about to go answer it. “It’s probably Paul. I’ll get it,” I said, and went to the door to let him in.

  “What’s up, Vic?” Paul said, and we did the man-hug thing.

  “What’s up?”

  “Hey, Paul,” Rhonda said. “How’s married life?”

  “Great,” he said and hugged Rhonda.

  “Uh huh. I hope so. Y’all married now, so you can’t get mad at Vanessa and go to your apartment anymore. The two of you need to work it out.”

  “I know, Rhonda.”

  “You can come crash at my place,” I said.

  Rhonda gave me her stern look. “Don’t encourage him.”

  “Sorry,” I said. But I meant it; and me and Paul acknowledged that fact. I was a little over a year older than Paul, but we grew up together. He was my boy.

  “And no more of that other foolishness,” Rhonda said, and gave Paul the same stern look. She knew about Paul and Bria.

  “That is long since over,” Paul said and cut his eyes at me.

  “Make sure. Vanessa will cut you down to the white meat.”

  “She is very fond of reminding me of that,” Paul said.

  Rhonda started moving toward the kitchen. “You need to call and check to see if the arrangements have been made for Uncle Pete to dialyze on Saturday morning.”

  “I will, but I still think Aunt Maria can handle it.”

  “Please, the last time I asked her to call our family in New York, none of them showed. She left a message on Poochie’s voice mail, and everyone knows Poochie doesn’t have a number that stays on long enough.”

  I laughed.

  “Just call.”

  “Fine, like I said, I will.”

  “You bringing Natasha to the cookout?” Paul asked.

  “No. And I think you know why.”

  “Who’s Natasha?” Rhonda asked.

  But before I could answer, Paul blurted out. “She’s the new woman Vic’s been dating.”

  “We aren’t dating; we’re just friends.”

  “Whatever, Vic. It’s Friday night.” He turned to Rhonda. “You got a date tonight?”

  “No.”

  “What about tomorrow, after the cookout, got a date then?”

  “No, Paul, let it go.�
��

  “Rhonda, what would you say if I told you that your brother hasn’t been out with anybody other than this so-called friend since the wedding?”

  Rhonda looked at me and, once again, those fists hit her hips. “I’d say it sounds serious and I’m wondering why this is the first time I’m hearing about it?”

  “Because we are just friends, Rhonda.” I looked at Paul. “If it was anything more than that I would tell you, but we’re just friends.”

  “Friends that spend all their free time together,” Paul said, and I was thinking about kicking his ass to shut him up.

  “Well then, if that’s the case, I think you should invite your friend to meet your family. Because you know I’ll get a full report.”

  “I’m sure that Maggie will tell you everything you missed in detail,” I said.

  “If she doesn’t, Angie will,” Paul added.

  Maggie and Angie were Paul’s sisters, and Rhonda’s loyal minions.

  Me, Rhonda, and Paul talked for a few minutes about some other things and, before we knew it, her car had arrived to take her to the airport. Why she wouldn’t let me drive her, I will never understand, but Rhonda always called for a car.

  Chapter Seven

  Natasha

  I was standing in the closet, swaying from side to side, and one thought dominated my mind: What does one wear when meeting the family for the first time?

  I didn’t have the luxury of selecting my outfit when I met Lloyd’s family. It was a Women of Color Tea, which was hosted by his mother at the Ritz Carlton in Fernandina Beach, and was attended by the rest of his family. Lloyd picked out a champagne gold tea dress that made me look pale; but since it was the appropriate thing to wear, I wore it like a good girl. It was awkward and I spent the entire time biting my tongue, for fear of saying the wrong thing around those snobs.

  Where was the real music?

  And how about some food that filled me up?

  When Victor invited me to his family cookout, I immediately said no. More because it was the right answer than anything else; but he looked a bit disappointed, so I amended my no to maybe. He seemed satisfied with that. I’m not sure why I cared enough about his heart to say maybe I’d go, but if I really wanted to be honest with myself, and there are times when I don’t, I’d have to admit that my reasoning goes far beyond my enthusiasm for barbecue ribs.

  Maybe it had something to do with the realization that we both knew this game we were playing was dangerous. I mean, I had to lie to do things with him. And being a liar didn’t come naturally. Luckily for me, I had always been trustworthy; so Lloyd gave no thought to my newfound habit of working late just about every day, nor was he the least bit curious about my expanded volunteer schedule on Saturdays.

  I settled on a cute khaki, lace accent short romper, a pair of pink champagne, grip thong sandals, put my hair in a ponytail, and drove out to Amelia Island State Park. I thought it was a beautiful location for a family day of fun, when he called and left a message with the details, ending his call with, “You know, just in case you decide to come.”

  He had no idea that his words held double meaning for me. I wanted to come and then some more, but I stopped thinking about that and set up my story so that I could come—go . . . to the park. I shook my head.

  Get your mind from between your thighs, Natie.

  After paying the five dollar admission fee, I pulled into the parking lot, parked, and checked my reflection in the rearview mirror. Once satisfied, I exited and headed out in search of Victor. Everything seemed to be well-planned out, all thanks to his sister Rhonda, who unfortunately, wouldn’t be there, because she had to go out of town on a business trip.

  Victor didn’t say so, but I got the feeling he was a little down about it and that made me even more curious about his family dynamics. He doesn’t talk about his parents at all; and the way he talks about her, Rhonda seemed to be more like a mother to him.

  Rhonda did this and Rhonda did that.

  There’ve been several times that I wanted to ask him about his parents, but after spending years watching my father like a hawk, I understood that when a man doesn’t want to talk about it, leave him alone. He will either come around and tell you or he won’t.

  As I got closer to the area, I knew I was in the right place when I was bombarded with the sound of old school music and the heavenly scent of barbecue. There were people talking, drinking, laughing and dancing, and children were running everywhere. I looked around to see if I saw either Victor or Vanessa and Paul, but I didn’t see them. I saw two older ladies sitting in the shade in some lawn chairs. They looked nice, sweet and welcoming, so I thought they’d be the perfect ones to ask where I could find Victor.

  “You lost, young lady?” the one with the curly brown wig said. I knew it was a wig because of all of the grey in her eyebrows.

  “Well, I hope not,” I smiled. “I’m looking for Victor. Am I at the right location?”

  “Well aren’t you the siddity one?” the other one said, with what I’d just noticed, was painted on eyebrows. Then she repeated what I said in a fake British accent. If I hadn’t thought the whole thing was hilarious, I might have even been offended. Then my curly-hair friend interrupted.

  “Stop that, Claire. Go that way you’ll find him,” she said, and pointed to a side walkway.

  “Thank you, ladies,” I said in my best West Indian accent, and kept it moving.

  I followed the walkway and my nose led me to an area near the grill, and that’s where I saw him. Victor was standing by the grill talking to a big, burly guy flipping a rack of ribs. I was as excited to see those ribs as I was to see fine-ass Victor. His Khaki shorts that came to his knees allowed me to see his long, lean calves. They were not too muscular and not too lean. He was in shape for sure, but he reminded me of a ball player.

  Perfect.

  And as he crossed his arms and nodded his head in conversation, I admired the sinews of his forearms. This man was delicious. As I got nearer, it was as if he sensed me heading his way, because he turned and looked directly at me. His eyes moved from mine and looked at me from head to toe, which made me happy with today’s outfit selection, and then he smiled. I loved his smile and what it did to me each time he graced me with one.

  “You came,” he marveled; his eyes moving around my face.

  “I couldn’t stay away,” I admitted. Victor’s eyes got intense, and for a moment, it looked like he wanted to kiss me, but I hurried to say, “Who can pass up some ribs on a Saturday?”

  Victor nodded, but he didn’t seem convinced, because I wasn’t, and I was the one that said it. I couldn’t stay away because I didn’t want to stay away. That opened the conversation up for the grill man, though.

  “You like ribs, sweetheart?”

  “I sure do, but I don’t get them often. My dad lives in Nassau, and he was the man on the grill all my life.”

  That made him chuckle before Victor introduced him. “Natasha, this is my Uncle Willie.”

  “Natasha, it’s nice to meet you.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, too, sir.”

  “The pleasure is all mine; and it’s Willie or Uncle Willie. No need to get all formal, we family here,” Uncle Willie said, and threw his beefy arm around Victor’s shoulder. “Ain’t that right, Vic?”

  “That’s right,” Victor said and looked at me.

  Uncle Willie let go of Victor and motioned to me with his finger. “Come here, young lady.” I stepped up to the grill. “Choose what bone you want.”

  “What?” Victor cut in.

  “Hush, boy.”

  I looked at the meat on the grill and leaned closer to him. “I don’t know, Uncle Willie. I don’t know if I can function under all this pressure. I mean, you are obviously a grill master and they all look sooo good.” I thought about putting my hand on my forehead and batting my eyes, but I decided against it and just went with, “I just can’t make up my mind.”

  Uncle Willie laughed and lo
oked at Victor. “I like her,” he said and turned to me. “You just take your time, darling.”

  “That one.” I pointed.

  He picked it up with his tongs. “That’s a nice bone. You have a good eye.”

  “Yeah, it’s the one I’ve been eyeing,” Victor said, and faked looking dejected.

  “I’ve been trying to teach him the trade.” Uncle Willie shook his head like Victor wasn’t quite getting it.

  “He’s been trying to get me to take over for years, but I think it’s just his way of having some company, ’cause he knows flipping meat is not for me.”

  “Whatever, Victor. It’s a lonely world over this heat. That is, until everyone wants to know how long it’s going to be. Then, and only then, do I get some company.”

  We all laughed because he seemed to take it in stride. I think he probably liked things just the way they were, with Victor keeping him company. But what did I know.

  “Well, Vic, get on out of here and take this pretty young lady with you. I’ll let you know when these bad boys are ready.”

  We started to walk away when I heard a loud clap. I looked back to see Uncle Willie’s hand moving away from Victor’s back. He slapped him on the back! I wanted to laugh, but didn’t. I didn’t know if Victor liked to be teased, so I remained silent as we walked in silence for a while.

  “I’m glad you came,” Victor finally said, and then he smiled that smile at me. “Who can pass up some ribs on a Saturday, right?”

  “Right,” I said, and fought the urge to slip my hand in his and put my head on his shoulder. It was getting to the point where being with Victor felt as natural and as necessary to me as breathing.

  A little ways off there were picnic tables, and I got excited when I saw they had a card game going. As we walked, Victor introduced me to or pointed out his family, who had separated into different groups of folks. Most of them I had seen at Vanessa and Paul’s wedding.

  “That’s Aunt Patrice and Uncle Eddie and that’s my cousin Sydney and her brother James.” Victor leaned close to me. “He’s gay, but he’s in the closet and doesn’t think any of us know.”

  “Maybe you should be the one to tell him.”