by Brown, Tara
“Staff?” Linna asked.
“Hi,” Jess grumbled and tried to stand. Johan placed the load in his hands down and rushed across the room to help her, scooping her up into his arms. He’d gotten bigger. If he grew any larger, he’d be the same size as Aiden.
“Whoa, check out the man muscles,” Linna teased him.
“Nothing compared to Fitzpatrick,” he blushed, changing the subject modestly.
“Nope.” She winked and popped a chocolate-covered jujube into her mouth. “He has muscles for days. And that’s not all.”
“Sweet Jesus, Linna!” Jess gasped. “No.”
“Too much info for me.” Johan chuckled and headed for the stairs. “The wine’s for you two.” He called down the stairs as they were halfway up.
“I’ll pour while you answer my questions.” Linna was not letting this go.
“Fine,” I growled and sat back in my chair, closing the laptop. “You’re right.” My cheeks flushed with color and my brow glistened with instant sweat. “We hooked up. Accidentally.”
“Accidentally?” She brought the two glasses over, sipping from hers but not calming down enough to give me mine. “How do you accidentally screw your ex while you’re home for his father’s funeral? How does that even happen?”
“It just did,” I whispered, barely able to breathe while thinking about it. “He forced me to stay at the mansion with Mary. Said it was about security.”
“Fin.” She sounded disappointed. “He forced you to stay so he could hook up. And afterward you fled Andorra and refused to talk to anyone? What happened?”
“It was sort of crazy and intense.” I swallowed hard. I’d never liked speaking about sex, but this was so heavy on my chest, I decided I needed to release it and Linna was my person. “It honestly was madness. Like a crazy attack in some random room in the basement of the mansion on a desk, totally out of control. I climbed him like a tree, dude.” I covered my flushed face, groaning, “Afterward, he was weird. He said he didn't want to talk, and we slept in the same bed. But we didn't talk at all. Or kiss. Or have sex again.”
“You hooked up and he said he didn't want to talk afterward?” Her right eye twitched. She had a knack for making things sound bad.
“Yeah and I agreed, at the moment. I felt so weird and we always fight. But then in the morning, I woke up and realized what I’d done. I just stared at him for like ten minutes, so sad I couldn't even cope.” I cleared my throat and forced the tears back. “I knew what a mistake I’d made. I snuck out and asked Tracy to get me a helicopter to Toulouse and came home.”
“Home to Lucas Reid?”
“No, Lucas heard the reporters saying they were waiting for me so he waited too.”
“Lucas is the last thing you need to add to this shitshow.”
“I know.” And I did. I’d been nothing but a friend to him, even though he was also texting me constantly. Everyone was desperately texting, everyone but the one person I needed to reach out. He was still pretending I didn't exist.
“Has Aiden messaged or called or even sent a picture of his royal dick?” Linna growled.
I didn't have to answer. The defeated expression seeping from me answered her.
“So he dumps you. Ignores you for two months. Ignores you being in his city for days. Doesn't speak to you at the funeral or wake, not even to be polite. Forces you to stay at the house the night before you’re going home. Fucks you cheaply—on a desk, no less—and then tells you not to talk. But doesn't text afterward?” Her words cut me. “Do I have to piece this together for you or is any of this waving the red flags it should?”
“It wasn't like that. He said he missed me and loved me and other stuff. It isn’t like some cheap fling,” I defended him, hating the angle she saw him from. “We care about each other—”
“Did he say all those things before he got into your pants or after?”
Again, the look on my face answered for me. “It was a dress.”
“And then, the moment it was over, he asked you not to talk and didn't try to reach out after you left?” She said it coldly, matter-of-fact. She finally held out the glass of wine. “Fin, that was a mistake.”
“I know that.” I took the wine and gulped the first drink back and sighed, as exasperated as she was.
“No, it’s like you don't know because you’ve only ever dated this one guy. You love him, in a scary way. And this is it. This is the guy who you will love for the rest of your life, even if you aren’t together, like Aaron is for me and Jess. You can’t mess around with that guy. It means way too much to you. You’ll never get over him if you hook up. And you need to get over him. He doesn't deserve you.”
“I know.” Linna was right. “Promise me you won’t say anything to anyone? Please. I’m already ashamed.”
“It’s funny you protect him even though he’s parading Alex around and fucking you in dark corners.” Her words sliced another meaty still-beating chunk from my heart, but we didn't get a moment more to discuss it. The front door burst open with screams of delight from below.
I swallowed my heartbreak and emotions back down, burning my insides with their vileness. I took several deep breaths, forcing a smile on my face.
“Girls!” Bea shouted as she came up beaming and holding another bottle of prosecco. “You’re already on the prosecco? Great minds think alike, eh? Mary’s on her way over now and Dee should be here any second. What’s that adorable saying you Americans have? The gang’s all back together!” She attacked with kisses and hugs and inappropriate amounts of affection, her norm. “I missed you.” She kissed me last. “What is this nonsense I hear about Mary being forced to live at the private estate with Johan? She won’t be in dorms either? And why wasn’t I told we weren’t in dorms this term?”
“We made the decision last minute. I don’t know anything about Mary.” I shrugged. I’d avoided all texts from Mary. The last thing I’d seen, she was going on about Aiden being an asshole. Something she blamed me for, saying he was unbearable after I left.
I didn’t know what to do with that.
He was the one who didn't want to talk.
Maybe he felt bad for using me. It made me feel awful. Worse now that Linna knew. I hadn’t unloaded on her, I’d shown her how pathetic I was. And now we were both judging me.
“Well, that’s bullocks. Aiden’s being unreasonable. Prince William went to this university. It’s perfectly safe.” She folded her arms over her chest but got distracted by our new house. “Is this place big enough for us all to sleep over if we have too much to drink?”
“It’s got loads of room,” Linna said with a laugh, no doubt anticipating the moment Johan and Jess came out, outing themselves for being back together. “You, Mary, and Johan could have easily lived here with us.”
“I suppose we should have discussed it. I assumed we were all in Sallies again.” Bea sighed heavily. “It’s shite. Aiden is getting to be too much like his father.”
“How’s Carter?” I asked, praying the conversation didn't turn back to Aiden. I couldn't do it. The wounds were all ripped open again and I was drowning in sorrow.
“Wretched.” Bea scoffed as if serious. “After we left you in Andorra, Linna, we went to see his family. He forced me to attend a movie theater in Boston, with other people in it. It smelled like urine and the crowd was so noisy, I could barely hear the film. Then he made fun of me when I told everyone to shut up.”
“You didn’t?” I asked as Linna giggled.
“I certainly did. One particularly unusual specimen had one of those laser lights. He kept lighting it up and outlining the breasts of the actresses on the screen. Finally, I’d had enough and told him to shut up and put that laser light away or else I would march down there and help him put it away in a place so dark and deep it would require a surgeon to remove it.”
“Oh my God,” Linna burst. “What did he say?”
“He stood up and told me he was going to come up and kick my arse,” she said
as an American would but with more Texan drawl. “And I invited him to come on up if he was hard enough. Carter was out-of-control laughing so he could barely walk out when we were asked to leave, along with the rowdy man.”
“You got kicked out of a theater? In Boston?” I gasped.
“I did.” Bea sounded proud.
“What happened to the guy?” I wondered if she beat him up.
“He took one look at Carter and decided not to try his luck. Carter shook his bloody hand!” She lamented, “I wanted to see him beat him up.”
“Carter’s not really a fighter,” I offered, worried about how that might have gone.
“I gathered that much.” She rolled her eyes. “Rather disappointing first experience.”
“Did you guys go back to Spokane?” I asked. I was behind on all the details of everyone’s life, not just recent adventures but the whole summer. The funeral hadn’t been the right place to catch up and avoiding everyone had put me back a bit. My last two months had been spent cut off, intentionally.
“No, his parents came to us in Boston. Which was pleasant. They both seem lovely. His mother is stunning. I thought she was his sister.”
“Fillers and injections.” Linna waggled her eyebrows.
“Well, when I’m her age I expect you girls will ensure I have the whole getup.”
“Oh, we won’t wait that long,” Linna said with a tone that suggested Bea should know this. “We’ll start at thirty, it’s all preemptive at that point.”
“Right,” I agreed. “Anyway, should we order? I’m starving.” And I needed to eat my feelings. They were too near the surface.
“Let’s. Pub?” Linna asked.
“No, takeaway and gossip.” Bea got up to get herself a glass. She was mid pour when the door opened below again. “Mary, that you?” Bea called down the stairs.
“No,” Mary answered. “It’s the ghost of pissed-off sisters so that glass I hear you filling better be twice as full as you’re making it, and all for me.” She sounded riled up.
“Is Tracy with you?”
“Hello, Fin,” he answered politely.
“Would you mind grabbing takeaway if I order, please?” I laid it on thick.
“Of course. But I want in on the feast,” he said, his tone implying he had a cheeky grin.
“Like I would forget you.” I scoffed and grabbed my phone, placing the online order for the food from one of our old faithful Indian places. “Same as always?” I asked as a general question.
“Of course.”
“Yes!”
“Do you even need to ask?”
I smiled at the outpour and ordered us all the usuals, the best. Everything but korma. No one really liked korma.
As I hung up and glanced at the busy kitchen starting to resemble a hen party, it felt amazing being back together. Even if their faces were reminders of him. I needed to separate him from them in my heart. It was the only way I would survive this without losing them.
“What’s got milady all in a tizzy this evening?” Bea asked as she hugged Mary and handed her a large glass of wine.
“Aiden, what else? I could kill him. He’s making me crazy.” Her eyes darted to mine, but before she could say anything else, the door below opened again.
“Hiya!” Dee shouted up the stairs.
“Dee!” we all said in unison.
“Oh my, this is stunning.” She hurried up the stairs and spun in a circle, taking in the gorgeous townhouse. “And massive. How luxurious.”
“It’s more than we needed. But our dads got a bit of a deal. Fin staying here ups the value,” Linna joked but it was true, unfortunately.
“Of course.” Dee’s eyebrows drew in when she saw me. She hurried forward and pulled me into her embrace, smothering me. “How are you?” Her tone took that turn, the sympathetic one that would drag everyone else along for the ride and end only when I was sobbing and spilling my guts. Something I'd avoided doing. Summer was the perfect time to break up; everyone had been too busy to pay as much attention to it all as they would’ve in the winter. But now they were here, and I was a mess and the hair trigger was close to being pulled.
“I’m fine,” I lied. “Honestly. I don’t want to talk about it.” That was the truth.
“I just don't understand,” Dee said, turning to see the others’ somber stares. “None of us do. I know you two fight a lot with the distance, which is normal for any couple, but that breakup came out of nowhere and no one is speaking about it.”
“Except that twat Alex who never stops speaking about it,” Bea grumbled. “I just can’t believe you haven’t wanted to defend yourself against the things she’s saying about you breaking his poor heart right as his dad was dying.” Her words stabbed me, but I smiled through them, barely.
“It’s just all too much. I can’t handle the life and commitment and intensity.” I stuck to the near truths. “I mean, giving up my American citizenship. Living in Andorra for the rest of my life. Any kids I have becoming heirs. It’s a huge responsibility.” All of it was true. It wasn't the cause, but it could have been.
“It’s not so bad, Fin.” Mary furrowed her brow. “Really, it’s not. I think you should give it a second chance. He is driving everyone bonkers.”
“He’s a mess, Fin.” Bea’s tone was colder than Mary’s. “Take him back.”
“He really is. You don’t know what this has done to him,” Dee added. “You’re killing him.”
“And what timing—his father is dying and you break his heart? Come on, Fin.” Bea wasn’t letting me off easy. She went for a second round of the low blows. “He’s the nicest guy I know.”
“I know but it’s complicated,” I lied, just barely getting the words out. I should have known it would come to this. I hadn’t expected it to be so aggressive, not from stiff upper lips.
“Tell them or I will!” Linna snapped finally.
“Don’t!” I shouted at her.
“What do you mean? Tell us what, Linna?” Dee asked.
“You leave me no choice.” Linna turned her back on me, pushing me out of the conversation. “He dumped her! He isn’t innocent in this at all. He dumped her and then didn't speak to her for two months except to use her for sex at your dad’s funeral, Mary. She is crushed and heartbroken and completely the victim of this story, and she’s letting Aiden off scot-free because she loves him still,” Linna blurted with not even a hint of remorse. “She defends him, even though he mercilessly used her.”
I glared at the back of her head, trying to kill her with my stare.
“What?” Mary stepped closer to Linna, with Bea and Dee following. They surrounded her, questions flying at her a mile a minute from all directions. I couldn’t even tell who was who as they flew at her.
“What do you mean?”
“Impossible.”
“That can’t be true. He loves her! He loves you, Fin!”
“He’s a mess. Gone mad over this.”
“Linna, you must be wrong. This has to be a mistake.”
As they shouted at her, knowing she was the more likely one to leak, and ignored me, I grabbed the glass of prosecco and downed the other half of it. The room was spinning, and not from the booze. My heart was racing with anxiety but I prepared for them to know. There was no going back now. I was about to ruin everything.
“Mary, your mom and dad are to blame. Fin was trying to protect you from being angry with them for interfering yet again,” Linna seeped more secrets. “Your family is a hot fucking mess.”
“Stop,” I pleaded. “I don't want to talk about this. Please. Yes, he dumped me. And my heart is broken, okay? It’s broken into a thousand pieces and seeing him and talking about him kills me. So can we just move on? He doesn't want to be with me, regardless of what happened after the funeral.” I tried to divert them from the last thing Linna had said. “And yes, your mother hated me and made a fool out of me and it’s over.”
“Not a chance,” Mary sneered, not falling for my
pathetic act, and turned back to Linna. “What did my parents do?” she growled. “Tell me. I demand to know.”
They were all pretty much snarling.
“It all started with that day trip your dad planned,” Linna blurted.
My shoulders slumped as the truth slipped from her lips, a truth she needed them to hear. She needed them to understand. Linna hated secrets, unless they were her own and even then . . . she wasn’t great at keeping them. And to make matters worse, she was like a sibling. She and Jess could be mean to me, but no one else was allowed.
“Day trip?” Mary lifted an eyebrow.
“You remember that, right?” Linna asked. “The trip around Andorra your dad planned?”
“Oh yes, of course. You were so excited about it, Fin. It was a triumph that my dad loved you and was doing something to win you over. Aiden was ecstatic.” Mary sounded baffled as her words slipped out.
“Well, it was a lie,” Linna continued. “Your father sent them to meet the good people of Andorra all right. Except it was a setup. Total con job.”
“What? How?” Mary turned back to me, confused.
“Wait, that trip two years ago, Fin? You gushed over it when I saw you right afterward.” Dee was also completely confused. Which meant I would have to explain.
Taking a deep breath, I nodded. “Yes, I did. And it was a great trip.”
“I am so confused,” Mary pried.
“I mean it. It was a great trip. We went to this cute little winery. We tasted the wine and talked to an old Portuguese couple whose family had owned the land for like a hundred years. It used to be a farm but the wine boost and global warming hooked them up, and they repurposed the land as a winery. They’ve won all these awards and were becoming bigger than I think they were prepared for. So that was cool. Aiden talked to them about how to expand the business by purchasing land in Spain that’s nearby and helping them to create a dual-country business.” I wondered if I oversold the trip, they’d forget about the rest. Girls, even British ones, were easily distracted by wine and adorable scenic stops. It was why Instagram and Snapchat were so hot. Every second a new stimulus of breathtaking images and storylines.
