Searching for a Heart

by Tymber Dalton

  It was the hesitation before he said the last word that made her seriously want to climb over the desk and take his head off like a rabid praying mantis with massive fucking PMS and caffeine withdrawals.

  Instead, Maddison sat back in her chair and forced herself to keep her tone light and keep a smile on her face.

  “Mr. Holmes, you are an attractive man. But I’m not into open relationships, or swinging, or poly, or any permutation of that. I’m strictly monogamous, and expect my partner to be.” She bypassed his throat and went for the balls. “Then there’s the fact that you’re old enough to be my father.”

  Point, the second.

  He touched a hand to his heart and playfully gasped. “I’m wounded, through and through.” But his smile and tone told her he was anything but, and he was now considering this game on, motherfucker. “Perhaps you’d be willing to let an old dog show you a few new tricks in your spare time? Or are you one of those boring workaholics?” His green gaze remained on her as he sipped his coffee.

  It hit her then that his eyes were not naturally green. The dark, almost emerald color was from contacts. She spotted the tell-tale indentations on either side of the bridge of his nose and along both temples from the glasses he’d been wearing until just a few minutes before coming downstairs, most likely.

  “Being a workaholic turned this company around.” She needed to buy herself some time, just enough breathing room to get her through the next few weeks, when she officially handed the company over to him. “And if you’re going to have me helping you with the new acquisition, then I’m going to be doubly busy. Meaning I’ll have zero time for a social life.”

  “Then you’ll stay? Because I spoke to the board last night after our dinner and told them that I wanted to speed things up. They’re looking at some other acquisitions in the area, and I don’t want to waste any time. They’d like to have the other deals in place before the next snowbird season ramps up. I can take over as early as Monday.”

  “I don’t see why not.”

  Which technically wasn’t a lie.

  But she would be calling Gonzales, since he still signed her checks, and asking him to cash her out immediately.

  Except she didn’t trust him not to tell Holmes about it.

  Her capitulation seemed to satisfy the man, though.

  “Excellent! I have to fly back to California on Friday morning and will return Monday. I’ll let the board know we’re moving forward even sooner. They’ll be happy to hear that.”

  He settled into a work conversation with her, wanting to know the ins and outs of their computer system, how banking and deposits were handled, credit card fees, the account structures for the restaurants, the vendor payment arrangements—all topics she could easily focus on and not feel squicked out about him being in close proximity to her.

  Good.

  By the time lunch rolled around, she excused herself to her suite and locked the door behind her.

  Note to self—always throw the security bar when I’m in my room.

  Housekeeping only serviced her room on Tuesdays, when she was there to let them in. Otherwise, no one was allowed in her suite without her permission.

  But if he was going to be around, he’d have access to the key encoder…

  Not that she had anything to hide, and he could have easily tried something even creepier while alone in the car with her last night, but he hadn’t. Other than their brief discussion on the topic first thing this morning, he’d acted professional, too. Maybe a little too friendly considering they’d just met yesterday, but nothing objectionable she could add to an HR report.

  Living at the resort past her last day working there would be out of the question, though. At least the furnishings in the room, and all her dishes and cooking utensils, belonged to her. Once her stuff was moved out, they could literally pull furnishings from the storage room and flip it, have it guest-ready in under an hour, if that long.

  I’m going to need to call Fen and Joel for help moving me.

  She’d call her dad for help, except there was a very good chance he’d go batshit crazy if he found out about Holmes and what he’d said to her.

  And that Holmes had researched her and found out somehow she was trans.

  That wasn’t public knowledge. It wasn’t something she posted about on Facebook or Twitter, either. Plus the more she thought about it, the more convinced she was Gonzales wouldn’t have told him.

  Hell, Fen would go crazy, too, if he found out what Holmes had said. But at least she could omit a few things with them, and Joel could keep Fen in line.

  She turned on her personal laptop and decided to look up classes for the USF Sarasota campus.

  Sure enough, a new semester would be starting in two months. There was still time to register.

  A plan quickly formed in her mind, and she picked up her cell and called Fen.

  “Hey, sweetie. What’s up?”

  “Can you talk for a minute? You and Joel both?”

  “Sure. Hold on.” Fen switched it into speaker mode and she heard him walking through the house. “Okay, Joel’s here. What’s going on?”

  “I need to ask a huge favor. Can you drive over next Friday afternoon and help me move? If I rent the truck? Can you drive it to Sarasota for me?”

  “What? Wait, what’s going on?”

  She gave them a condensed version without the creep factor included. “I haven’t told Mom and Dad yet, though. I’ll move to one of the regular guest rooms and, once the new manager returns, I’ll drive over.”

  “Sooo…where are we moving you to?” Joel asked. “I mean, if you haven’t asked your parents about staying with them.”

  “Into a storage unit, for now. I’ll decide what to do once I’m over there.”

  “You’ll move in here,” Fen said. “She can move in here, right, Sir?”

  “Of course she can,” Joel said. “How long do you want to stay?”

  “Not more than a couple of weeks. I’ll get a part-time job and get enrolled in school.”

  “You can stay several months, if you want to,” Joel said. “We don’t mind.”

  “Thank you so much. I’ll pay you rent and help out with chores, too. Just, please, don’t tell my parents yet. If you do, Dad’ll show up here demanding I move in with them and I can’t fight that battle right now. Especially with the new manager here and staring over my shoulder. I don’t want anything to happen to mess up my severance package.”

  “No worries,” Fen said. “We’ll keep it a secret. Why’d this happen so suddenly?”

  “I don’t know. I guess the management group wanted to move things along faster when this other deal came up.”

  “Stupid question,” Joel asked. “If you can stay on at the same pay, why do you want to leave? I thought you were going to go to UM for your MBA?”

  “It’s not a guaranteed position. And with the severance package, I can use that year of free insurance to go to school. I don’t want to find myself suddenly out of a job and then scrambling for a place to live. Just because Mr. Gonzales said I could live here doesn’t mean the new management will okay it. Plus, it’d feel…weird living here and not working here.”

  Fen made a noise she knew all too well. Even though she couldn’t see him, she imagined his nose and brow wrinkled, eyes narrowed. He was probably staring at the phone, too.

  “What aren’t you telling me, Mads?” he asked.

  Shit.

  She was great at hiding a lot of stuff. Expert-level bluff skills.

  Except around Fen.

  “Promise me you won’t lose your shit.”

  “That’s almost a guaranteed statement to make me lose my shit, honey. What happened?”

  “Nothing happened. I just…” She opted for a version of the truth. “I’ve heard a lot of things over the past year. Lots of these ‘investment companies’ have Eastern European money tied up in them. Maybe they’re totally legit, I don’t know. I could be paranoid. But just in case the
y aren’t legit? Honestly? I’d rather not be anywhere near the books once they take over. Especially since I know nothing about them at all.”

  “Ohhh,” Fen said, and relief filled her.

  He’d bought it.

  “I totally get what you mean,” Joel said. “Money laundering can start happening right under your nose and drag you down with it.”

  “Exactly. That means I’d like to ask another favor.”

  “What’s that?” Fen asked.

  “I want to use the excuse that an old friend of mine just found out they have a health issue that for privacy’s sake I won’t disclose, and they asked me to move in to help them out. Perfect timing.”

  Fen burst out laughing. “I think we can handle that for you.”

  It creeped her out that Holmes had checked out her background. She wouldn’t put it past him to research further when she skittled out of his grasp. While she was thinking about it, she opened her laptop, logged into Facebook, and found the security setting to retroactively set all posts to friends only.

  Once she finished talking with them and hammering out the time they’d arrive on Friday afternoon, she got off the phone and went online to rent a moving truck one-way.

  Only then did she start to relax a little. The loading bay downstairs wasn’t visible from the front desk and lobby area. That was all on the far back corner, behind the banquet facilities. She’d have everything boxed up and ready to go when they arrived, and they could move everything downstairs via the service elevator and through the back hallways.

  Then she’d be moved out except for whatever she kept with her.

  Which wouldn’t be much.

  A suitcase and a laptop bag.

  Now I just need to figure out what and how to tell Mom and Dad.

  Chapter Eight

  Tuesday night’s D&D game finished with their party still alive—barely—and with Axel not-so-silently giggling in glee over the damage his NPCs had wrought on their characters.

  But they’d survived to loot another room.

  Following his trip to Venture Saturday, Milo had spent most of Sunday afternoon researching BDSM online, signing up for FetLife and friending his friends on there as well as reading several sites Eliza and Axel had recommended for research.

  He had a label for himself now—a sensual Dominant, with a decided interest in becoming a rope rigger. He knew that label could change and fluctuate the more he learned, but at least it gave him something to hold on to for now, a common starting point when talking to others.

  And when he’d seen Abbey at work, she’d played things completely cool and acted no differently toward him, so that was one relief, at least.

  Tonight they had to wait for Kyle to leave the room before discussing Saturday night’s plans in hushed tones.

  “I’m in for Saturday night, if anyone else is,” Milo said.

  “Susie’s staying home,” Grant said, “but Darryl is in desperate need of a beating.”

  “We’ll be there,” Eliza said.

  “We have to be,” Skye added. “We’re volunteering again.”

  Relief filled Milo. “Good. I’ll drive myself, but I’ll meet whoever’s coming to Sigalo’s there.”

  Eliza still didn’t have a match for him, but he wasn’t going to worry about that right now. He was deep into learning mode, including purchasing rope for himself ahead of a class the following Saturday afternoon.

  All he needed was a partner. Eliza assured him that, since it was over a week away, they’d find someone to stand in as his rope bunny by then.

  For the first time in a long time, he felt excited about something. Even if it took him a while to meet someone to date—and frankly, he understood that might be the best thing—he was okay with that.

  He’d made more new friends over the past week than he had in the past two years. He’d felt his anger ease a little.

  There was a focus to his life outside of work and his shitty sham of a marriage.

  He’d take the win and savor it.

  If it took a while for him to meet someone, even better, because maybe by then he’d have his emotional house in order.

  * * * *

  Maddison spent the next week packing in secret every night while laser-focused on work during the day and getting Holmes up to speed on everything, and bringing Ivy in for as many of the conversations as she could.

  She just couldn’t tell Ivy exactly why yet.

  Well, they did swear her to secrecy and revealed the purchase of the resort to her, since she was integral to office operations.

  But Maddison didn’t reveal her end of things to Ivy until early Friday afternoon, after Holmes had departed for the airport. Maddison had already talked to Mr. Gonzales on the phone and asked for her payout to be issued as of Sunday, but that she would stay on until Holmes returned.

  As she’d guessed, Gonzales sounded more than a little relieved. Meaning Holmes’ source about her past probalby hadn’t been him.

  “I’m sorry about your friend, Maddison. I hope they will have a speedy recovery.”

  “I do, too, but I suppose this timing works out best for everyone. Plus, now I can return to school like I’ve always wanted.”

  “And you haven’t told Holmes yet?”

  “No. If you’d like to come over tomorrow morning, I can go over things for you. Ivy’s already up to speed.”

  “I suppose I can do that.”

  “Thank you for being so understanding.”

  “Have you, eh, had any issues with Mr. Holmes?”

  “No, not at all,” she lied. “Why do you ask?”

  “I was just…curious. I haven’t met him in person yet. We spoke on the phone briefly during the week.”

  “Oh? He didn’t mention that.” Which made her wonder what other kinds of fuckery were going on that she wasn’t privy to.

  Then again, if she didn’t know, she wouldn’t be held liable for it.

  “Well, I’ll see you in the morning then,” he said.

  She hung up feeling relieved.

  Part two, accomplished.

  By the time she went to bed that night, Fen and Joel were on their way back to Sarasota with the rental truck full of her belongings—including her personal belongings from her office—her old suite had been converted to a paying guest room, and she was staying in one of the top-floor suites for the weekend, one which hadn’t been reserved.

  As she stared out over the Atlantic, she took a couple of pictures with her phone.

  Won’t have this view for long.

  But it would be good to move back to Sarasota.

  She still hadn’t told her parents she was returning. Even Fen agreed it might be better to wait until she was actually there to break the news to them. She’d also called her old doctor in Sarasota, arranged to have all her medical records transferred to him, and had the pharmacy transfer her prescriptions to the one she used to use there, as well. By the time she was ready for refills, she’d be moved.

  She had a place to live arranged—short-term—she’d already registered for classes at USF, and Saturday night she might have let out a cheer alone in her suite when she received the alert in her personal e-mail that the full payout had hit her bank account.

  As she stared at the new bank balance, she couldn’t help but smile. That was the last thing she’d been worried about. Gonzales had also forwarded a copy of the invoice for her health insurance, showing where he’d paid the full premium for a year, as agreed.

  The only thing left for her to do was tell Holmes and get the hell out of Dodge. Gonzales had agreed to come in on Monday, and would be there when she told Holmes she was leaving. With Gonzales there and able to fill in any gaps, along with Ivy, it wasn’t like she was leaving them hanging. Not really.

  All Holmes wanted her for was to fuck her, and to do the hard work for him so he’d look good.

  Sorry, not buying it.

  When the three of them gathered in her office late Monday afternoon and she broke
the news to Holmes, she had her confirmation when he outed his damn self right there.

  “Is this because I propositioned you? I told you I’d take no for an answer.”

  Gonzales’ jaw dropped as he stared at Holmes, who now sat with his arms crossed over his chest.

  “As I’ve just stated, Mr. Holmes, I’ve had a personal situation arise that makes it necessary for me to leave. I had planned on staying, but my friend needs me. Also, I’ve already enrolled in classes.”

  “But I told the management group you were staying!” The dark anger in his gaze told Maddison she’d made the right move. “Now what am I supposed to do?”

  She’d also put all her things in her car earlier that day. All she had to do was get in it and leave.

  “The original plan was for me to stay on only as long as it took to get you up to speed, which I’ve done. Mr. Gonzales knows operations, as does Ivy. You’ll have their more than capable assistance with running the resort.”

  “Don’t expect a good reference from me,” he growled.

  “Then it’s a good thing she’s using me as a reference, isn’t it?” Mr. Gonzales said, looking irritated now. He turned to Maddison. “Tell me the truth—did he make a pass at you?”

  She met Holmes’ gaze, which today looked muddy brown and bloodshot behind his wire-rimmed glasses. “Yes, he did. Told me I was his ‘type,’ which in the context presented meant because I’m trans. The only reason I didn’t quit immediately was because of the respect I have for you, Mr. Gonzales. I wasn’t going to say anything, but if he’s going to attempt to retaliate, I want the full truth out there.”

  Mr. Gonzales turned on Holmes. “Congratulations. With your behavior, you ran off the best asset you ever could have had for your company. I don’t know how you do things in California, Mr. Holmes, but if you expect to continue the success Maddison built, I would suggest you take a long, hard look at yourself.” Gonzales turned to her. “I’m so sorry, Maddison. I certainly didn’t tell him sometihng so personal about you.”

  His words warmed her and confirmed more of her suspicions.

  Too bad it’s too little, too late.