A Snake Lies Waiting

by Jin Yong

  “Indeed, I’ll be there with my Dog-Beating Cane to help finish you off!” Count Seven Hong said.

  Viper Ouyang cupped his hands in a perfunctory gesture of leave-taking, turned and strode back into the cabin.

  Guo Jing continued to gaze out into the black night. Breaks of white foam were the only thing to disturb the darkness; there was no sign of Zhou Botong. Eventually, Guo Jing climbed down from the mast and told his shifu how the Venom of the West had tried to get him to write down the Manual for him. Count Seven nodded but did not reply. Old Venom doesn’t let go of an idea easily, he said to himself. He will keep tormenting my disciple until he gets his hands on the Manual.

  Guo Jing began to cry at the thought that his sworn brother might be dead. Count Seven was also distressed. The boat was sailing quickly in a westerly direction and they would reach land in a day’s time. He did not trust the Venom not to poison their food again, so he made for the kitchen and stole some things for them to eat. The two men ate until they were full, and, before long, they were fast asleep.

  Viper and his nephew, Gallant, waited until the following afternoon, nearly eighteen hours after their last conversation with Guo Jing and his shifu. They had heard nothing from their two guests. Perhaps Viper Ouyang had used too much poison and killed them? He was not so concerned about Count Seven, but if Guo Jing was lost, so was the Manual. Forever. He approached the door to their cabin and peered through the crack. Inside, shifu and student were sitting and chatting. Count Seven’s voice was loud and clear. Viper Ouyang was incensed. They were fine! If he was going to dispense with Count Seven but not harm Guo Jing, he would have to think of another way.

  Count Seven was telling Guo Jing all about the Beggar Clan, and how, despite their need to beg in order to survive, they were staunch believers in righteousness and justice, serving the weak and those in distress. He then went on to describe the process by which the clan elected their chief. “What a pity you don’t live the beggar life, son; otherwise, you have just the right character to be leader. There is no one in the clan who can compare to you. I would happily pass the Dog-Beating Cane into your hands.”

  Just then, a hacking sound interrupted their conversation, much like an axe being swung repeatedly at the wall.

  “Oh! This is not good,” Count Seven said, and jumped to his feet. “That slithering snake is going to sink the boat!” He ran to the door and then called back to Guo Jing: “Get to the sampan at the back of the ship!”

  At that moment, a loud crash announced a jagged hole in the wall, down near the floorboards. This was followed by the sound of hissing.

  Not of rushing water, this time.

  “He’s attacking us with snakes!”

  Count Seven quickly released a rain of needles, pinning dozens of vipers against the wooden boards. They writhed in agony and went still.

  “Lotus is accomplished at this Skyful of Petals technique, but she has a long way to go to match her Master.”

  More snakes were approaching. Count Seven Hong threw yet more needles and killed them. But a flute was playing outside, driving even more snakes forward.

  “How kind of the Venom to keep providing me with target practice!”

  Yet, as he reached inside his pouch for more needles, he realized to his surprise that he had only a few left. And the snakes were still coming. What should he do? Just then, the wall behind him was smashed into splinters and a palm came hurtling at his back.

  Standing beside his Master, Guo Jing felt the gust of air as the palm approached. Too late to turn, he brought his hands together and blocked. He had to use all his strength to withhold the force of the blow. Viper Ouyang yelped in surprise, but countered the move with a horizontal chop. Guo Jing knew this would be harder to stop, feinted with his right hand and aimed at Viper Ouyang’s left shoulder. Viper ducked and hacked at Guo Jing’s wrist. The situation was critical. If Viper was free to open the cabin door, more snakes would come, putting Master and disciple in great danger. Guo Jing defended with one hand and attacked with the other. His hands moved independently, just as the Hoary Urchin had taught him. This was the first time Viper Ouyang had seen anything like it. It confused him for a moment, giving Guo Jing the chance to land a few hits. Viper Ouyang’s skills still made him twice the fighter Guo Jing was, but the novelty of the young man’s technique enabled him to gain the upper hand, if only briefly. Before long, however, the Venom of the West had worked out how to counter it. He had not held the title of master for decades for nothing, after all.

  Huh! He thrust two palms. Unable to block the move with his left only, Guo Jing stumbled back.

  “Marvelous! Wonderful!” Count Seven cried out. “Old Venom—call yourself a master? You can’t even overcome my young disciple!”

  Launching into a Dragon Soars in the Sky, he flew straight past the two men and kicked Gallant Ouyang, who had appeared behind his uncle, into a sprawling somersault, before elbowing Viper Ouyang in the back. Viper leaned sideways, dispelling the force of Guo Jing’s attack.

  Shifu is as accomplished in the martial arts as the Venom, Guo Jing was thinking, and I am more than a match for his nephew. Also, he is hurt. Two against two, we will most definitely win.

  The thought raised Guo Jing’s spirits, and his hands and feet rained on Viper like a violent storm.

  Still attacking ferociously, Count Seven glanced around to see writhing snakes closing in behind Guo Jing. Just one bite would be enough to kill him.

  “Lad! Get out of here!” Count Seven increased the intensity of his onslaught, returning the full force of Viper Ouyang’s blows.

  Viper was being attacked on two fronts and was feeling the strain. He ducked sideways, allowing Guo Jing to escape the cabin while he continued to fight Count Seven.

  In the meantime, hundreds of snakes had slithered up onto the deck and now had them surrounded.

  “Need animals as your backup? Shameless.” Count Seven’s tone was mocking, yet the sight of the snakes made his heart quiver. Holding his Dog-Beating Cane in his right hand, he killed a dozen snakes before grabbing hold of Guo Jing and making a dash for the main mast.

  Viper Ouyang watched in alarm. If they climbed the mast, they would be out of his reach. He rushed forward to block them.

  Count Seven met him with a gust of air and two chopping palms. Viper swept his fist sideways to meet them.

  Guo Jing made as if to help his Master, but Count Seven waved him back. “Up the mast, quick!”

  “I’ll kill his nephew to avenge Brother Zhou!”

  “The snakes!” Count Seven called desperately.

  Guo Jing looked down at the writhing snakes and dared not linger any longer. With a backhand swipe, he caught Gallant’s Swallow Shuttles, leaped up and grabbed hold of the mast. Just then, he heard the whistle of another weapon flying at him from behind, so he threw his own to block it. Clang! The two projectiles crashed mid-air and fell into the sea. Guo Jing then grabbed the mast with both hands and climbed up, halfway to the summit.

  Viper intensified his attack on Count Seven. The Chief of the Beggar Clan was able to keep Viper at bay, but could not inch any closer to the mast. Guo Jing saw the snakes gathered around his Master’s feet, cried out and, with his legs gripping the mast, let his torso swing down. He had imbibed such quantities of Graybeard Liang’s snake blood that his whole body gave off an odor of herbs. It was enough to make the snakes edge away, giving Count Seven a chance to tap his foot against the deck and fly up, aiming a kick at Viper Ouyang’s face. Guo Jing grabbed the bamboo stick from his Master and wrenched his arm upward. Count Seven continued his ascent and seized hold of the mast above Guo Jing.

  Now, they were both at a safe height, looking down on their enemies. Viper realized there was no point climbing up to fight them, so instead he called, “Fine—you win, this time. Turn the rudder east!”

  Count Seven positioned himself on the crossbeam and began to sing an old ditty beloved of beggars everywhere: “Falling Lotus Flowers.” But
his relaxed demeanor was but a mask to hide the genuine anxiety he felt. How long would they be able to stay clinging to the mast? Viper Ouyang could cut it down, and they could not descend as long as the snakes were still there. The others could drink wine and sleep in their beds, while all they could do was eat wind and urinate. At this thought, he hauled himself to his feet, pulled down his trousers and watered the snakes below.

  “Boy, let them have something to drink!” he cried.

  “Yum, yum!” Guo Jing cried, just as amused as his Master, and joined in.

  Viper Ouyang leaped back, managing to avoid the spray. Gallant, on the other hand, was treated to a light shower across his cheeks. This only made him even more furious.

  Count Seven then pulled out a tinderbox, ripped off a piece of sail, lit it and threw the ball of fire downward.

  “Clear the snakes!” Viper Ouyang barked. The wooden flutes began to play and the snakes withdrew, but a dozen or so at the base of the mast had already been burned. The sight of the flames frightened them and they began to writhe and curl in all directions, making them impossible to control.

  Count Seven and his disciple laughed as they watched the chaos unfold. Brother Zhou would have enjoyed such a sight, Guo Jing thought. He sighed to think that such a master of the wulin should have to die at sea.

  3

  Some four hours later, as dusk approached, Viper Ouyang ordered the crew to festoon the decks with meat and wine. It was a devious move on his part. How, he asked himself, could a gourmand like Count Seven withstand the delicious aroma of all that food?

  That night, Count Seven and Guo Jing took turns keeping watch. The deck below was lit by lanterns and a swarm of snakes guarded the foot of the mast. There was no way to break through such a defense. Count Seven cursed a full eighteen generations of Viper Ouyang’s ancestors, adding his own deliciously concocted details. But nothing would draw the Venom out of his cabin. Count Seven could do nothing but continue cursing until his lips were dry and he fell asleep with exhaustion.

  Early the next morning, Viper Ouyang sent one of his servants to call to the men up the mast: “Chief Hong! Master Guo! Sir Ouyang has prepared a most sumptuous meal for you. Please, come down to enjoy it!”

  “Tell Viper Ouyang to come out here and enjoy our piss instead!”

  Before long, a table was set below and steaming dishes of freshly prepared food were carried out. Two chairs were placed at the table for Master and disciple. Count Seven considered sliding down and pilfering some food, but it was sure to be poisoned. “Damn you and your mother,” he muttered.

  * * *

  BY THE third day, the two men were so parched and hungry, they were beginning to feel dizzy.

  “If only the girl was here. She’s whip smart, that one. Surely, she’d come up with a plan,” Count Seven Hong said. “All we seem to be doing is sitting here with dry eyes, drooling.”

  Guo Jing sighed.

  As the sun reached its highest point in the sky, Guo Jing spotted two white dots in the distance. At first, he took them for clouds and paid them little attention. But as the dots grew larger and larger, a familiar screech reached his ears. Two white condors!

  Delighted, Guo Jing summoned his inner strength and called back to them. The birds circled above the boat before swooping down. It was the very same pair that he had raised on the steppe of Mongolia.

  “Shifu,” Guo Jing began, breathless with excitement. “Perhaps Lotus is sailing this way?”

  “Now, wouldn’t that be wonderful. What a shame the birds are too small to carry us on their backs. We’re thoroughly stuck. Let her know to come here quick and think of something.”

  Guo Jing took out his golden dagger and cut two five-inch-square pieces from the sails. Then, using the tip of his blade, he scratched Help into the cloth, and beneath that the shape of a gourd. He repeated this and tied the pieces of material around the condors’ legs. “Come back quickly, and bring the maiden Lotus with you.”

  The two birds let out a loud cry, flapped their wings and took flight. They circled the boat once before flying west, where they were quickly swallowed by the clouds.

  A couple of hours or so after the condors had departed, Viper Ouyang made another attempt to lure Count Seven and Guo Jing down with yet more food.

  “Old Venom, this is a dirty trick. You know how much I love to eat. I have only ever practiced external forms of kung fu. I’m not trained to withstand the tug of a good meal. Guo Jing, what do you say we jump down and beat them senseless, then come back up?”

  “Have patience; we’ve sent the birds to find Lotus. Rescue is coming.”

  Count Seven laughed, then fell silent. “What’s the most disgusting taste in the world?” he said suddenly.

  “I don’t know. What?” Guo Jing replied.

  “I once went north. Far north, into the snow. I was hungry for eight whole days and nights. There wasn’t a rodent in sight, not even a measly piece of tree bark. So I started digging in the mush and mud, where I came across five little wriggly things. They saved my life and gave me enough strength to live another day. The next day, I caught a weasel and gorged myself full.”

  “What were the five little wriggly things?”

  “Earthworms. Nice and fat. I swallowed them whole. I didn’t dare chew.”

  Guo Jing pictured their squirming bodies and could not help but feel disgusted.

  Count Seven guffawed. It was his best hope of forgetting the fragrance of the delicious food wafting toward them from below.

  “Lad, I would eat those earthworms right now, if there were any to be had. But there is one very dirty, very smelly thing that I would never eat. Indeed, I would rather eat my own toe! Can you guess what it is?”

  “I know!” Guo Jing said, and laughed.

  But Count Seven shook his head. “Dirtier than that.”

  Guo Jing kept guessing, but to no avail.

  “Let me tell you,” Count Seven boomed. “The dirtiest thing in the world is Venom of the West, Viper Ouyang himself!”

  “That’s right!” Guo Jing laughed.

  * * *

  BY EVENING, however, Guo Jing could take it no longer. He slid down the mast and slashed the heads of two snakes with his golden dagger. The other snakes could smell the herbal medicine in his blood and slipped away. Guo Jing gave chase and killed two more, then gathered the four dead snakes and climbed back up the mast. Up on the crossbeam, he skinned them and the two men devoured their raw flesh.

  Gallant Ouyang emerged and stood among his swarm of snakes. “Uncle Hong, Brother Guo, my uncle merely wants you to write out the Manual for him, nothing more.”

  “Fie! There’s always more,” Count Seven Hong hissed quietly.

  Just then, an idea came to him. Keeping a straight face, he shouted: “Scoundrel! Your uncle wins. I surrender. Bring us meat and wine and we will talk tomorrow.”

  Gallant Ouyang was most pleased. Count Seven Hong’s word was as steady as a mountain; he would never go back on a promise. He ordered the snakes to retreat, and allowed Count Seven and Guo Jing to slide down the mast and enter the cabin. Gallant’s servants brought them a veritable feast.

  Count Seven Hong closed the door and grabbed a pot of wine and gulped it down. Then he ripped a chicken in half and began to chew.

  “Are you sure the food isn’t poisoned?” Guo Jing whispered.

  “Silly boy,” Count Seven replied. “The Old Venom needs you to copy down the Manual. He couldn’t risk hurting you. Now, eat up. I’ve got a plan.”

  Guo Jing said no more and guzzled down four bowls of rice, scarcely drawing breath.

  Once his belly was full, Count Seven Hong wiped the grease from his mouth with his sleeve. Then he moved closer to Guo Jing and whispered in his ear: “Old Venom wants you to write down the Nine Yin Manual. All you have to do is give him a fake Nine Yin Manual.”

  “A fake Manual?”

  “Indeed,” Count Seven Hong said, and smiled. “Write whatever you like. Apothecary Hu
ang has the only other copy, and, come what may, he will never give it to the Venom of the West. His nephew memorized the first few passages, so don’t get them wrong. As long as he recognizes the start, he will never suspect a thing. Then, for the rest, you can mix it up. That way, he could train for a hundred years and it would all be a waste!”

  What a good trick, Guo Jing thought. We’ll get that Old Venom! After a pause, Guo Jing said, “But the Venom is a master of the martial arts. Not to mention very sly. If I write nonsense, won’t he be able to tell? And then what?”

  “Well, of course, you must write something plausible, but wrong,” Count Seven Hong said. “Three correct sentences, and then put in one that’s wrong. Or change the numbers, so that nine becomes one, two becomes eight, three becomes seven, four becomes six, five becomes ten, and reverse them too. He’ll never be able to catch something like that. I would be happy to go seven days and seven nights with neither food nor wine to watch him try to train from a fake Nine Yin Manual!” A wide grin had spread across Count Seven Hong’s face.

  “He won’t just be wasting his time, he could even cause himself a serious injury,” Guo Jing said, with a laugh.

  “You start thinking about how you’re going to change it. If he gets suspicious, our plan will be ruined.” He paused, before continuing. “Remember that scoundrel Gallant Ouyang also read the second volume on Peach Blossom Island, so don’t alter too much there. Just put in some wrong words. I’m sure he won’t be able to tell the difference.”

  Guo Jing recited the Manual to himself, trying to think where he could make the changes. Wait could become thrust, up could become down—all that would be easy to alter, without requiring him to write whole new sentences. His Master was right, the changes should be subtle but thorough. Up is down and down is up. Front is back and back is front. Chest is abdomen and hand is foot. Heavens are earth. If he stuck to these simple substitutions, he would be able to replicate the altered version. Palms toward the sky would become Soles of the feet toward the sky. Feet planted on the ground would become Hands planted on the ground. In the sections that dealt with the cultivation of internal energy, he could change Gather the qi in the elixir field to Gather the qi in the chest.