You Make Me Weak

by E. L. Todd

  ***

  After we got our food, we sat in our usual booth.

  “What’s new with you?” Slade asked.

  I told him about my work dilemma.

  “Dude, this shouldn’t take you longer than two seconds. Go for the CDC.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s better! Better pay, better hours, and you still help people. Cay, I thought you were smart. This shouldn’t be difficult to figure out.”

  I shook my head slightly. “It’s a big decision. I should think about it carefully.”

  “What does Skye think?” He shoved fries into his mouth but they barely fit because there were so many.

  “She won’t tell me.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

  “She wants me to make this decision on my own. She says I’ll be too easily swayed by her opinion.”

  “Why? She’s not very bright.”

  I glared at him. “That’s my woman you’re talking about.”

  “She’s my cousin. I can say what I want.” He ate half of his burger in one bite.

  “So, Trinity loved the bracelet.”

  “Yeah,” he said with a smile. “She started crying and yelled ‘yes’. She was totally into it.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “She said yes?”

  “Yeah, like she was super excited.”

  That was fishy to me. “When did she say it?”

  “I already told you,” he said irritably. “When I gave her the bracelet.”

  “No. The second you gave her the bracelet or later?”

  He shrugged. “The moment I handed it to her.”

  Was I being paranoid or did that sound like she assumed he was giving her a ring? “And she was normal for the rest of the night?”

  “Yeah. We had sex and went to bed.”

  “Nothing was off?” I pressed.

  “Well, she was a little quiet but I think she was just emotional.”

  Slade knew Trinity better than I did. If something was off, he would notice. “Okay. I just want to make sure.”

  “Dude, I know my lady better than you. She wouldn’t assume I was proposing in a million years.”

  I didn’t believe that but I didn’t bother saying it.

  ***

  Skye and I went out to dinner. I sat across from her and glanced at her chest every few seconds. She was wearing a low cut black dress, and her tits looked like they were on a platter. Every time I looked at her, I thought about tit-fucking her. It was incredibly distracting.

  “Cayson, they are just breasts.” She sipped her wine.

  I released a sarcastic laugh. “More like super breasts.”

  She rolled her eyes then put her glass down.

  I kept staring at them.

  “You’ve seen them a million times.”

  “Then you shouldn’t have worn that dress. What did you think was going to happen?”

  “What happened to the gentleman I used to know?” she questioned.

  I released another laugh. “Oh, baby. When it comes to you, I’m never a gentleman.”

  “Well, as long as it’s just me you’re a disgusting pervert with.” She added a light smile.

  “Definitely just you.” Ever since the first time we got together, I never looked at other women. They just faded into the background. Why would I care about anyone else when I had her?

  “Good,” she said. “Gawk at my breasts all you like.”

  “I was going to anyway.”

  The waiter brought our food and then we started to eat. Skye ate quicker than me. I stopped trying to compete with her a long time ago.

  “Did Trinity say anything about her trip with Slade?” Skye was the best person to ask.

  “Not really,” she said. “She said they had a great time and he gave her a bracelet. Why?”

  “Before he left, I told him to be careful when he gave her that bracelet. I didn’t want Trinity to think he was proposing.”

  She flinched for a moment before she kept eating. “I don’t think she was thinking that.”

  “She didn’t mention it?” I pressed.

  “No. Why?”

  I remembered the conversation I had with Slade. “Slade said she yelled ‘yes’ when he gave her the bracelet. I mean, why would she say that?”

  Skye averted her gaze and shrugged. “Probably because she loved it. You know she loves jewelry.”

  “Slade said everything was normal after they had dinner. I just want to make sure he’s not missing something. If Trinity is mad at him, she might leave him. And I can’t let that happen.”

  “I think they’ll be fine,” she said quietly.

  Maybe I was stressing out over nothing. Slade and Trinity had been together for a long time, and they seemed inseparable. Perhaps Slade understood her better than I did. I decided to drop it.

  Chapter Eight

  Slade

  When I got off work, I headed straight to Trinity’s place. I was eager to get it on and show her my new tattoo. Now my dad and I matched. Knowing he got a tattoo just for me pulled at my heartstrings. I tried not to get emotional about it or let him know I was being weak, but it did mean a lot to me.

  I used my key to get inside. “Baby, I’m here.” She wasn’t on the couch like she normally was. When I didn’t hear a response, I headed down the hallway and checked the bathroom. The door was wide open and the light was off. Then I checked in her bedroom. That was empty too.

  Where was she?

  I called her and she didn’t answer. Then I texted her. Baby, why aren’t you home? She usually told me if she was going to be late or if she was hanging out with Skye.

  I had to work late. I’ll probably be here for a long time. You should just go home.

  Disappointment filled me. I was eager to see her. Whenever I wasn’t with her, I missed her. I can wait here.

  No, it’s okay. Go home.

  Okay. Love you.

  She didn’t respond for a long time. Love you too.

  ***

  Trinity was distant all week. Every time I wanted to see her, she was busy. I came to her place every day after work and she was never there. When I decided to wait for her, she didn’t come home until I was asleep. Even though I slept beside her, I wasn’t really with her.

  It was the oddest thing in the world.

  I was starting to freak out. Was she avoiding me on purpose? Why would she? Was she honestly just busy and I was being clingy and annoying? I questioned everything.

  Sick of not seeing her, I waited in her apartment and refused to let myself fall asleep. I drank a few cups of coffee to stay awake and watched TV. At nearly two in the morning, she came home.

  She put her bag on the table then flinched when she saw me. “You’re awake…”

  I turned off the TV. “You sound disappointed.”

  “No…I just know you work early in the morning. I don’t want you to be exhausted all day.”

  I ignored her words. “Are you avoiding me?”

  “No,” she said immediately. “I’m just busy at work.”

  “You’ve never been busy before.”

  “Well, things change,” she snapped.

  “So, you really aren’t avoiding me?”

  “Why do you care, Slade? I’m just your girlfriend. It’s not like I’m your wife. Maybe you should just back off and give me space.” Venom was in her voice, and she sounded like she absolutely loathed me. She and I fought often, but we just bickered. She was never that cold and derisive.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means you need to get off my ass.”

  “Seriously, did I do something? We went on a great vacation together and then you’re distant with me. What the hell did I do?”

  She stared at her purse and seemed to be thinking. She closed her eyes for a moment before she opened them. “Nothing. You didn’t do a damn thing, Slade.”

  Was she being honest? “Then why are you so mad at me?”

  “I’m not m
ad. I’m just stressed out…about work.”

  “Then talk to me about it.”

  “You wouldn’t understand…”

  “I don’t understand a lot of things but I always try.” I was practically pleading now. “We haven’t had sex in a week.”

  “Is that all you care about?” she hissed. “Sex, tattoos, and music?”

  “Of course not,” I argued. “I wouldn’t be here all the time if I just wanted to get laid. You know I love you for so much more than that. Why are we even arguing about this? This is stupid. I tell you I love you every damn day. You shouldn’t even have to question it.”

  “You’re right,” she snapped. “I shouldn’t.”

  Seriously, I had no idea what was going on right now. “What’s wrong, Trinity?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Stop saying nothing! There’s obviously something bothering you. Tell me.”

  She raised her hands in the air then shook her head. Then she lowered them. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed.”

  “What?” I asked. “We’re in the middle of an argument.”

  “Well, I can’t think straight. I’m going to sleep.”

  Well, that was anticlimactic. “Fine. Let’s go to bed.”

  “Uh, you aren’t coming. Leave, Slade.”

  “What?”

  “Just give me space right now.”

  I’d never had a girlfriend before, but that didn’t sound good. “You’ve never wanted space before…”

  “Well, now I do. Stop being clingy with me. I’m just your girlfriend and nothing more.”

  “Nothing more?” What the hell did that mean?

  “Go, Slade. I’m tired.” She headed to her bedroom.

  “I want to talk about this.”

  She turned around and gave me an angry look. “Get. Out.” Normally, she looked at me like I was annoying or irritating. But this look was different. She asked me to leave loads of times before, but she never meant it until now. Feeling my heart break and my lungs hurt, I walked out and shut the door behind me. When I was alone, I felt the fear. I was terrified, more scared than I’d ever been in my life.

  Was I going to lose her?

  ***

  I called Cayson a hundred times during the day until he finally called me back.

  “Dude, what’s the emergency?” he asked when he got off work.

  “I need to talk. Now.”

  His voice became serious. “Is everything okay?”

  “No, it’s not. I need help.”

  “With what?” he asked. “Do you need money? What?”

  “Just meet me at your apartment. I’m standing outside.”

  “Okay, I’ll be there in a second.”

  “Hurry.” I hung up then started to pace the hallway in front of his door. My mind was racing a million miles an hour and I felt sick. Blood pounded in my ears and everything ached.

  Cayson rounded the corner minutes later, looking like he ran the whole way. “Okay, I’m here.” He unlocked the door and we walked inside. “What’s wrong?” He had a panicked look in his eyes.

  “Trinity. Something’s wrong.”

  “What?” he asked.

  I gripped my skull. “I don’t fucking know! All week she’s been avoiding me, and so I stayed up late at her apartment to see her. When she came home, she acted like she hated me. She kicked me out of her apartment but she wouldn’t tell me why she’s upset. It’s like she hates me…”

  “She doesn’t hate you,” he said immediately.

  “No, you don’t understand,” I said quickly. “She and I fight all the time, but it’s different. The way she spoke to me and looked at me…it was like she doesn’t see me the same. I’m scared, Cayson.”

  “Okay…” He rubbed his chin and paced the living room. “Think, Slade. Did you do something to offend her this week?”

  “No! I haven’t even seen her.”

  “Were you with another girl this week?” he asked. “Maybe she saw you together somewhere?”

  I glared at him. “Don’t fucking insult me.”

  “Look, I’m just trying to figure this out. Were you with any other girl this week?”

  “No,” I said through a clenched jaw. “I go to work and then headed to her apartment. Nothing else in between.”

  “Okay.” He rubbed the back of his neck while he walked. “Did you say something to her? Something more vicious than usual?”

  “Like I said, we haven’t talked much.”

  “Have you ignored her?”

  “No,” I snapped. “I’m the one who’s always trying to see and talk to her.”

  “Maybe you overdid it and she needs space or something.”

  “I act the same way I’ve been acting for two years,” I hissed. “Why is it bothering her now? She was the one that always said she wanted me to be a perfect boyfriend. Well, I think I do a pretty damn good job. I spend every minute with her, I don’t check out other girls, I buy her things, take her on vacation, and treat her the best I possibly can. What more does she want?”

  “And you asked her what’s wrong?”

  “At least fifty times.”

  “She never answered?” he pressed.

  “No, not really. She said something about her not meaning anything to me…and she’s just my girlfriend or something like that.”

  “Anything else?” Cayson asked. “I need all the information you can remember.”

  I tried to replay the conversation in my mind. “No, that was about it. Then she told me she wanted to go to bed and kicked me out.”

  “She made you leave the apartment?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I said. “And I usually sleep with her. She’s never done that before…”

  Cayson sat at the table and thought quietly. “I’m usually good with girls but I’m struggling with this. With Skye, she usually tells me exactly what’s bothering her.”

  “Lucky you,” I said sarcastically.

  Cayson ran his fingers through his hair anxiously. “Shit, I can’t figure it out.”

  “That makes two of us,” I said bitterly.

  Cayson kept thinking.

  “Can you ask Skye?” I asked. “Trinity tells her everything.”

  Cayson looked reluctant. “She’s as likely to tell me anything as I am to tell her something about you.”

  “Just try, man. Give her head. Do whatever you have to do.”

  He sighed. “It’s not that simple. She’s loyal to Trinity.”

  “If anyone can break her, it’s you,” I pressed. “Please try. My life is on the line here.”

  He nodded. “Okay, I’ll do my best.”

  “Thank you.” I sat down and rested my head on the table. “Cayson…”

  “Hmm?”

  “Fuck, everything hurts.”

  Chapter Nine

  Skye

  Trinity and I got dinner after work. She seemed down, sickly, and thin.

  “You look terrible,” I said honestly.

  “I haven’t slept much.” She didn’t touch her food but inhaled her margarita.

  “What’s going to happen?” I asked.

  She sighed. “I can’t even look at him anymore, Skye. I’m just so…hurt. I’m starting to realize that Slade is never going to propose to me. He’s the same guy I met two years ago. He’s afraid of commitment and he doesn’t even think about spending his life with me.”

  “That’s not fair,” I said immediately. “Don’t make these assumptions without talking to him first.”

  “You don’t know him like I do, Skye. Believe me, Slade doesn’t want to get married.”

  “Talk to him first,” I said firmly. “Slade adores you. Maybe he’s planning on proposing but not right away. Maybe he needs more time.”

  “You have no idea how much I want that to be true…but I have a feeling it isn’t.”

  “Like I said, don’t assume anything. Slade probably has no idea what’s going on.”

  “If he can’t figure it out, he reall
y is an idiot,” she said bitterly.

  “Trinity,” I said firmly. I waited until she looked at me. “Slade is a very sweet and compassionate guy. However, he’s a little slow when it comes to these things. We both know that. I bet if you talked to him and told him how you were feeling, he would feel terrible and tell you he’s sorry. And I’m sure he would tell you he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.”

  “You really believe that?” she asked quietly.

  “Of course, I do. He’s different than he used to be.”

  She still seemed unsure. “He told me he would try...he never said he could give me a marriage. I have a feeling he never will.”

  “Why?” I pressed.

  “Because he would have asked me already,” she snapped. “He said he wanted to move in with me and we’re inseparable. He treats me so well and he’s a perfect boyfriend. We’ve never been more in love. So, what’s he waiting for? I don’t think he’s waiting for anything, Skye. I think this is the end of the road for us.”

  “Even if he didn’t want to get married, would you still be with him?” I asked quietly. “I know how happy he makes you.”

  “I don’t know. The idea of leaving him is so hard. But, I want a husband and a family. I want to wear a white dress. I don’t want to be someone’s girlfriend when I’m forty and then he leaves me to be with some young chick that likes his ink.”

  “I can’t even imagine Slade leaving you for someone else.”

  “And I can’t imagine him marrying me,” she said bitterly. “God, I wasted two years of my life with him…”

  This conversation was starting to scare me. “You talk like you’re over.”

  “Because we are,” she said firmly. “We’ll never go back to what we were, not after this. I’ll never be able to look at him in the same way. Resentment will always be there. Maybe I haven’t actually dumped him yet, but our connection is severed.” She rested her face in her hands and sighed.

  “Trinity, I know you’re upset right now but don’t make any hasty decisions.”

  “I’m not,” she said. “I’m just telling you what I know is going to happen. I know Slade better than anyone. If I confront him, I know what he’s going to say. And…I don’t think I could stand hearing him say it. I’d rather just walk away without knowing…because it’ll hurt too much.”

  Now I was seriously terrified. I couldn’t imagine a life without Trinity and Slade being together. I just couldn’t. “Trinity, you have to talk to him. He’ll never understand what went wrong unless you tell him. Give him a chance to fight for you.”