You Make Me Weak

by E. L. Todd

  “I’m sure it is,” she said.

  “You aren’t going to tease me?” I asked.

  “Why would I?” she said seriously.

  “Everyone else seems to.”

  “What you eat is none of my business,” she said. “If you told me you didn’t eat mushrooms or something, I wouldn’t care. Why does it matter?”

  I wish more people had her mindset. “I couldn’t tell you.” I sipped my scotch then looked out the window.

  “It’s so beautiful here,” she said. “I could live here.”

  “It is an incredible place. And they have the best Mexican food.”

  “I’ve never had it,” she said.

  “What?” I asked in surprise. “We’ll try it tomorrow night.”

  “What time are you meeting your client tomorrow?”

  “In the morning,” I said. “It’ll probably only be a few hours.”

  “Well, send the paperwork my way when you’re ready.”

  “I will.”

  The waiter brought us our plates and we ate in silence. I snuck glances at her every now and then. She ate with perfect manners, taking small bites and actually enjoying her food before she swallowed it.

  My eyes took in her small wrists and slender neck. She was so petite but had such a presence everywhere she went. She was so beautiful but seemed completely ignorant to that fact. How was that possible?

  When I examined her more closely, I noticed a scar on her wrist. It was thin and faint, almost unnoticeable. But it was too precise to be a childhood injury. It looked like an incision from a surgeon’s blade. Why did she have so many cuts? I recalled her mentioning she had health problems in college. Perhaps she got in a bad car accident. I wanted to ask but it was none of my business.

  When we finished dinner, we didn’t move from the table. We both seemed preoccupied with the view from the window.

  “Dessert?” I asked.

  She laughed and touched her stomach. “Geez, I couldn’t eat another bite.”

  She spoke like a woman from the fifties and I liked it. “I’m pretty stuffed too.”

  Our night was over and I needed to walk her back to her room. But I didn’t want it to end. My heart ached for her, and I couldn’t deny what she did to my insides. She made me nervous when no one else did. She saw me for who I really was, and she seemed to understand I was a complicated person with intense emotions and needs. I wasn’t obsessed with her just because she was gorgeous, but I knew that had something to do with it. I never felt this way for anyone before, and a part of me wanted to do something about it. We worked together, and I realized that, but how often did this happen to me? What if I could have something great with this woman? What if she was the one woman who could make me understand the desire for marriage? Maybe I had meaningless relationships because I never cared about any of the women. I’d known Rome for months, and I genuinely cared about her. From our first conversation, I knew she was different. “Rome…I want to talk about something.”

  She seemed to know it was about our relationship because she became serious. She had a blaze in her eyes, like she felt the same intense emotion I did. Like she was getting sick of pretending there wasn’t something going on between us.

  “I…I’m very attracted to you—for your beauty as well as your grace.”

  She continued to stare at me, her thoughts hidden.

  “Do you feel the same way?” I thought she did, but I could be wrong. When she kissed me back, maybe she felt obligated to because I was her boss. If she rejected me, it might hurt me and make an uncomfortable work atmosphere.

  “Thomas, you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.” She laughed lightly like her statement was the most obvious thing in the world. “On the inside as well as the outside.”

  Her words made me feel warm inside. “I don’t date people I work with. It’s a rule I have. And the reason why I have it is because work makes relationships complicated. I don’t want to come to work and feel awkward around you. The simple solution would be to fire you, but I can’t fire anyone. I just hate doing it.”

  “Have you had a work relationship before?” she asked.

  “Never.”

  She stared at me with bright eyes.

  “I’m tired of pretending there’s nothing between us. Every time I think I can be indifferent to you, it backfires. I purposely keep you at a distance, but it only lasts for so long before I pull you back in. When I kissed you, I felt something; actually, I felt a million fireworks. And…I don’t want to push you away anymore.”

  “I don’t either,” she whispered.

  I took a deep breath. “Would you be willing to find another job so we can be together?”

  She considered the question for a moment. “I was under the impression you didn’t do long-term romances. And if that’s the case, I really don’t want to find another job just for something that will end soon. It was a miracle I got this job to begin with. Entry-level positions are hard to come by, especially when you don’t have a degree.”

  I nodded. “I understand.”

  “We’re both mature,” she said. “Why can’t we have our romance, and when it’s over, it’s done. We return to work and never speak of it again. I think we can both do that.”

  I knew she was someone who could handle working for someone she slept with. She seemed reserved and distant, like she had better things to do than stress about something out of her control. “But…I’m not sure if I want this to be a short term romance.” It was the first time I ever said that to someone. All I’d done is kissed her, and I knew I wanted more than that. I didn’t need to round the bases to figure it out.

  Her eyes softened. “I don’t know what to say…”

  I stared at her, feeling vulnerable now that I put myself out there.

  “I told you I don’t want to get married. So, that’s not a possibility for us.”

  I, of all people, could reconsider the idea of marriage. Couldn’t she? “Why?”

  “I just don’t want to,” she said simply. “And I don’t want a serious relationship.”

  “So…you just want a fling?” I asked incredulously.

  “I guess.” She rested her hands on her lap. “I was under the impression that’s exactly what you wanted.”

  “I do but…we have a connection. That doesn’t happen often for me.”

  “It doesn’t for me either…”

  Then why couldn’t she consider it? “But, you won’t compromise on this?”

  “No. I’m sorry, Thomas.” She seemed genuinely pained. “I really wish I could give you more. I just can’t.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  She looked away, her eyes lost in thought. “I just can’t.”

  I stared at her and let the words play on my ear.

  “Wouldn’t it be better to have a little bit of someone you care about than none of them?”

  I nodded in agreement.

  “So, why don’t we let it run its course? When it’s finished, we move on.”

  She seemed determined to make it short. There was no possibility of a serious relationship. It was exactly what I usually wanted. I couldn’t count the number of times I had the same argument when talking to a new lover. But I’d never been on the other side of the table. It felt strange to want something more but be denied that. Perhaps Rome would change her mind as the relationship progressed. Maybe she would want me in a deeper way. Maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe I would fall in love with her. Maybe I would find her annoying like everyone else. I didn’t know.

  But how would I ever know unless I gave it a chance. “Okay.”

  “Okay?” she asked.

  I nodded.

  “Ground rules?” she asked.

  Had she done this before? “What are your rules?”

  “No personal acquaintances. No introductions to friends or family. No talk of love, commitment, or marriage. That’s it. What are yours?”

  “I don’t have any,” I said. “At least, none in
addition to the ones you said.”

  “And no sleepovers,” she said.

  “Okay. What about when we’re on trips?”

  “Well, that’s okay. But when we’re in the city, no slumber parties.”

  It didn’t seem like this was her first time. “Have you done this before?” Was she just like me? Having fling after fling? Was it pathetic that I was a little jealous of that fact?

  “No.”

  “No?” I blurted. “It sounds like you have.”

  “I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you in that coffee shop. I’ve had this conversation in my head several times. Maybe I can’t have all of you, but I want some of you. And I want it to last as long as it can before we go our separate ways. In order to make it as uncomplicated as possible, rules need to be set.”

  I was surprised she’d wanted me for so long. She hid it well. “Why didn’t you ask me out before?”

  “I wasn’t sure what kind of relationship you were looking for. You’re such a sweet man. I had a hard time believing you would agree to this type of relationship until you told me yourself.”

  “If you don’t have these types of flings,” I said. “What kind of relationships with men do you normally have?”

  “None,” she said simply.

  “None?” I asked incredulously.

  “Yes.” There was no lie in her eyes.

  Rome was more complicated than I realized. I wanted to know why she was the way she was, but I had a feeling she wouldn’t tell me. She knew why I was against serious relationships. But why was she?

  “Do we have an understanding?” she asked.

  I nodded.

  “Then let’s head back to the room.”

  ***

  We walked inside my room then turned on a single lamp. I was nervous. I’d never been nervous with a woman before. Rome made me feel things I never felt before. I’d wanted her so many times I couldn’t count them. But now that I was alone with her in my room, allowed to take her in any way I wanted, anxiety pooled in my stomach.

  She headed to the balcony then looked outside. The sun was gone, and only darkness stretched across the pacific. The wind moved through her hair, and she looked like a vision, like always.

  I joined her then stood beside her. “I’m nervous.”

  “Why?” she whispered.

  “I’ve wanted you for so long and I had to hide it. Now I can have you and…it just seems too good to be true.”

  “I want you too.” She turned to me, and her eyes seemed to glow by their own light. She stepped closer to me then guided me into the chair behind me. Then she straddled my hips, sitting right on my lap.

  The hair on the back of my neck stood on end, and I felt my heart race in my chest. She was so close to me, within my reach. She was light as a feather, and I couldn’t hide the way she aroused me. She must feel it directly underneath her.

  When I looked into her face, the longing and desire burst to the surface. She was the woman I dreamt about, wished I were inside of every night. She excited me in a way I could never understand.

  My hands moved to her hips and I yanked her toward me, the aggression pooling from every pore. Our foreheads touched and I looked down at her lips, wanting to taste them. Then I leaned in and kissed her.

  Just like before, heat scorched my body. Everything burned. My fingertips felt like they were on fire, and my lips ached from longing. My hands moved up her hips and over her ribs. I squeezed then relaxed my hold because I was afraid I might break her. My hand glided down to her thigh and I lifted up her dress, wanting to be closer to her. My mouth ravaged hers, and when our tongues danced together, my spine shivered. She was the best kisser I ever had.

  Our kissing stretched on for an hour. I was content with the long foreplay. Kissing her and touching her was enough for me at the moment. No women had entertained me with a kiss before. Not since I was in junior high. But she had my entire body wrapped around her finger. I’d never been with such a beautiful woman before, and I wanted to leave her satisfied so she would come back for more.

  When her nails dug into my skin, I knew she was anxious to feel me between her legs. Her kisses became more aggressive, and she devoured me like she couldn’t get enough of me.

  I stood up and carried her into the room, leaving the door open so the sound of the ocean could be heard in our ears. Our neighbors might hear us, but I didn’t give a damn. I laid her head on the pillow while she pulled my shirt off my body. Once my chest was bare, she kissed it and the skin over my heart, making me feel hot just from watching her. Then she undid my jeans and yanked them off. When my boxers were revealed, she took those too.

  Rome took a long look at me, and her eyes widened in approval.

  I stared at her mouth and wanted to feel her full lips on me. Like she knew what I wanted, she sealed her mouth around me. And she gave me the best head I’ve ever had. She knew exactly what to do with her tongue and how to grip my shaft. I stood there, unable to control my breathing because it felt so good.

  When I didn’t think I could stop myself from ending the rendezvous too soon, I gripped her hair and pulled her back. Then I looked down at her before I crushed my mouth against hers. My hands gripped her dress and I peeled it off as quickly as possible, so desperate to see her, my body ached.

  When her bra was gone, I stared at her tits, fascinated. I sucked and kissed each one, loving the feel of them in my mouth. Then I pulled her thong off and moved to the area between her legs. I knew she liked what I was doing to her when she moaned and gripped my shoulders so hard she almost drew blood.

  Now I had to have her. I needed to be inside her. I grabbed my bag then pulled out a foil wrapped package then moved to the bed.

  Rome snatched it away and did the honors. She widened her legs and pulled me close to her, my cock twitching because I was near her folds. She slowly rolled it on, like she was purposely making me wait, building up the desperation even more.

  Once I was covered, I moved over her and pressed my face to hers. Then I slid inside her, feeling the tightness I hadn’t felt in a long time.

  “Thomas.” She looked into my eyes with parted lips. Desire burned in her eyes, and her skin was flushed with heat. Her nipples were hard, telling me how much she enjoyed the feel of me inside her.

  Once I was completely within her, I leaned over and felt her legs near my chest. Then I began to move inside her, feeling pleasure like I’d never known. I’d been with hundreds of women, but this felt different. It felt right.

  She gripped my ass and pulled me further into her, wanting more.

  I slammed into the bed, making the headboard slam into the wall repeatedly. While I moved quickly, it was at a slower pace than I usually moved. I wanted it to be sensual for her, for her to feel every inch of me every time.

  Her head rolled back and her tits shook every time I rocked into her. Her arms were around my neck and she pressed kisses to my chest, tasting the drops of sweat as they formed. It was hard to watch her and not blow my load. She made it damn impossible.

  “Oh god…” She dug her nails into me again, trying to hold on while I pushed her over the edge.

  I thrust into her harder, giving her that extra push to take her home.

  Her hands moved to my ass and she pulled me into her harder. Then she started to scream, saying my name over and over again with heavy enthusiasm.

  I held on as long as I could, but it was hard when a beautiful woman was screaming because you made her feel good. When I was certain she was finished, I released myself inside her with a loud grunt, having the most intense orgasm of my life.

  I rested over her, catching my breath and letting my body relax.

  Her hands massaged my back, making up for the savage way she gripped me earlier. “You’re good at that…” She was breathing hard, still recovering from the effort.

  “Thanks…” I pulled out of her then cleaned up. Then I got in bed beside her, wrapping my arms around her and spooning her f
rom behind. She lie still, clearly exhausted and satisfied.

  I kissed the area between her shoulder blades, loving the soft skin. Then I pulled her closer to me, wanting as much of her body to touch mine as possible. I didn’t cuddle often. I usually slept on my back while the girls cuddled into my side. But now I was making the gesture, as odd as it seemed.

  “Rome?” I whispered.

  “Hmm?”

  “I imagined that moment many times. But never in my fantasies was it as good as the real thing.”

  She looked at me over her shoulder. She gave me a long look before she kissed me tenderly. When she finished, she stared at me for a long moment before she looked away. “You’re the fantasy I never thought I would have at all.”

  ***

  After I worked with my new client for a few hours, Rome and I went out to dinner and she had Mexican food for the first time. Like I expected, she loved it. She ate all of her food and even made room for fried ice cream.

  On the way to our room, she touched her stomach. “I shouldn’t have eaten that much. I’m going to explode.”

  I smirked while I looked at her tummy. “You look the same.”

  “Geez, no. I’m bloated.”

  “Sexy.”

  “Like a whale.”

  “Sexy whale,” I said.

  She chuckled. “Well, I’m not going to reject such a good compliment.”

  We walked inside then took off our jackets.

  “I don’t want to go home tomorrow,” she said sadly.

  “I don’t either.” I stood behind her and unzipped her dress. Then I kissed the skin of her back, loving its smoothness. Then I unclasped her bra and pulled the straps down her arms. “God, you’re beautiful.”

  She looked at me over her shoulder and gave me a dazzling smile.

  I loved it when she looked at me like that. I grabbed her thong and pulled it off, loving the sight of her standing in nothing but her heels. She turned around and unbuttoned my shirt then removed my slacks.

  I stared down at her body, not being discreet about it. “Why does a beautiful woman like you want to sleep with an average man like me?”

  “Average?” she said with a laugh. “You’re anything but.”