You Make Me Weak

by E. L. Todd

  “Shut up, Arsen. We’re doing this.”

  “I can’t let you stick your neck out for me like this!” I wasn’t going to back down from this. He did enough for me.

  “Too damn bad.” He got in my face. “I already bought it. So you better just accept it and work your ass off to pay me back.”

  I stilled, feeling frozen. “You…you bought it?”

  “Yes.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair nervously and stared at the building. He already went and bought it since he knew I would fight him. I couldn’t believe this was really happening.

  “Now we just need to get everything for the place and we’ll open.”

  “I can’t do this, Ryan.” I started to panic. “I might be able to run your shop, but starting a business from the ground up is totally different. I can’t—”

  “Calm the hell down,” Ryan snapped. “I’ll run it with you for a while until you get the hang of it.”

  “What about your own shop?”

  “Slade will take care of it. Believe me, he’s excited. He’s wanted more responsibility for a long time. And he’ll get a raise, so he’s always excited about that.” He released a light chuckle.

  I stared at the shop, feeling a little faint. “I can’t believe this is happening…”

  He clapped my shoulder. “Be excited, Arsen. Look how far you’ve come.”

  “Yeah…”

  “It’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.”

  I took a deep breath and stared at the windows, trying to understand that this shop would be mine. I wouldn’t be selling weed out of a dark alley, and I would have money to support my daughter and…Silke. I was closer to getting both of them in my life. That’s what I wanted from the beginning. “Thank you, Ryan.”

  He nudged me in the side. “Don’t thank me yet. This is going to take some serious hard work.”

  “I’m up for it,” I said without hesitation.

  He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. Together, we both looked up at the building, imagining it after it was ready to be opened. As I stood on the sidewalk and the cars passed, I realized my life would never be the same.

  But that wasn’t a bad thing.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Silke

  I found Pike’s house then stopped on the sidewalk. It was a corner house, and the yard was covered in plants and trees. The street was quiet, with a few people bicycling past. When I stared at the house, it seemed too peaceful. It made perfect sense that he lived there.

  A rose bush was near the back fence, and I stared at it for a long time. A few roses had blossomed, making the image beautiful and endearing. When I stared at his house long enough, I opened the gate then walked to his front door. A bottle of wine was under my arm when I knocked.

  Pike opened it immediately. “Right on time.” He gently grabbed my arm and pulled me inside before he pushed the door closed.

  “I brought wine.”

  He eyed it. “Thank you.” He took it from me then circled his arm around my waist. Then he leaned in and gave me a gentle kiss, sweet enough to make my toes curl.

  When he finished, he pulled away and looked at me. “You’re a remarkable kisser.”

  “As are you,” I said with blushed cheeks.

  “Did you find the place okay?”

  “I did. It’s beautiful.”

  “I like it,” he said. “It’s a mini forest in the midst of skyscrapers.”

  “You have a few blossoms on your rose bush,” I whispered.

  “I noticed them this morning. They must have known you were coming.” He smiled at me before he headed into the kitchen. “I hope you like lasagna.”

  “Complex carbohydrates? Of course.”

  He chuckled then pulled the pan out of the oven. “Good. I love pasta. I could eat it every day.”

  “That makes two of us. Can I help?”

  “Nope,” he said. “But you can take a seat.”

  I did as he asked and tried to stay out of the way. I examined his house while he got everything ready. It had hardwood floors with gray walls. His kitchen table was dark mahogany. Everything about his place was dark and masculine, but it was clean and smelled like wood polish.

  Pike set the table then brought the food over. “How was your day?”

  “Good. Yours?” I took a bite. “Wow, this is good.”

  “Thank you,” he said. “Mom taught me a few things.”

  “I can’t cook if my life depended on it,” I said with a laugh.

  He chuckled. “I’m sure you’d do fine if someone taught you a few things.”

  “My mom is a good cook but I never bothered to learn.” I released a sigh.

  “It’s never too late,” he said.

  “Yeah, but it would have been easier if I lived there.” I ate my piece quicker than he did.

  He watched me with an amused expression. “Hungry?”

  “Yeah, but this is really good.” I took another piece.

  He chuckled. “I like it when women eat. It’s annoying when they don’t.”

  “Well, that’s definitely not me,” I said. “When my metabolism slows down, I assure you, I’ll turn into a cow.”

  He shrugged. “I’m sure you’d still be beautiful.”

  “And happy.”

  He chuckled and kept eating.

  “You have a beautiful home.”

  “Thank you,” he said. “But I can’t take all the credit for it. I had a designer pick everything out.”

  “She did a good job.”

  “Yeah, she did.” He sipped the wine then kept eating. “The wine is good.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “I picked it at random because I was in a hurry.”

  “That’s talent right there.”

  I finished a second piece then touched my stomach. “I think I’m going to explode.”

  “I have bleach so it’ll be easy to clean.”

  I laughed. “Whenever something tastes really good, I always overeat. It’s a terrible habit.”

  He finished his plate then released a sigh. “I’m full too.”

  “You ate half of what I ate,” I accused.

  “Well, I eat this all the time so I’m not that impressed.”

  “Can I take some home?” I blurted.

  He gave me an affectionate look. “Of course you can, Rose.” He stood up and carried the dishes to the sink. Then he wrapped up the lasagna.

  “Can I help?”

  “Nope. Guests never help.”

  I stood up then moved into his living room. There were picture frames on a coffee table. I examined them and saw a picture of Pike with an older woman. I assumed it was his mother. There was another one of him and a man about the same age. Their resemblance told me it was his brother.

  Pike came into the room then stood behind me. “My mom and brother,” he explained.

  “I can see the resemblance.”

  He moved closer to me then wrapped his arms around my waist. He gripped the neck of my shirt and moved it over slightly, exposing the skin. Then he pressed a gentle kiss there.

  I closed my eyes at the touch, feeling the fire spread through my veins.

  He released my shirt then rested his chin on my head. His arms were still around my waist. Nothing was said. He held me and I rested my hands over his.

  “Would you like to see where I paint?” he whispered into my ear.

  “Yes.”

  He kissed the shell of my ear then moved away, taking one hand with him. He guided me up the stairs until we reached a room overlooking his front yard. It had a large window that viewed the entire street.

  Large easels sat against the wall, and a black stool was in the center of the room. Different tools were on the tables to the right, including brushes and paint. Some of his work leaned against the back wall.

  I took everything in, feeling the atmosphere of the room. “It’s…” Finding an adequate word to describe it was difficult. “Inspiring.”

  “I spend most
of my time in this room. Sometimes I go an entire day without eating or drinking because I forget.”

  “That’s not healthy.”

  “You’re telling me.”

  I migrated toward the pieces in the back. They seemed to be multiple attempts at the same piece. Then I spotted one that I recognized immediately. It was a woman sitting in a restaurant. The background showed the rising sun between two buildings, and a cup of coffee sat on the table. The clothes were the same ones I wore on that morning, but my face was a large opened red rose. “I like this one…”

  “I’m sure you can figure out how it was inspired.” He stood beside me.

  “I think I can,” I said with a smile.

  “Not that I imagine your face as a flower all the time,” he said quickly.

  “I know, Pike.”

  He stood beside me, silently. “I think about you all the time.”

  His blunt and random words caught my attention.

  “I was buying milk at the store the other day and I couldn’t get you out of my head.”

  I turned to him, watching him stare at me with a look of fondness.

  “You’re in everything I see. Everywhere I go, you’re there too. I can’t remember the last time I felt that way.” He turned away and looked at the paintings against the wall.

  I stared at him, unsure what to say. The only words I could find didn’t do it justice. Instead, I stepped closer to him then pressed my lips to the corner of his mouth.

  He took a deep breath the moment he felt me, and then his hand moved around my waist.

  My hand dug into his hair and I kissed him with more passion, pressing my chest against his. He returned the affection with the same intensity. As the darkness deepened outside the window, we kissed in his paint room, oblivious to the beauty outside. All that existed was he and I.

  ***

  We lay on the couch together and watched a movie. Pike’s hand moved through my hair gently, making me relaxed and comfortable. A blanket was over us and a movie played on the screen. But neither one of us were watching it.

  Pike stared at my face in the darkness, taking in every feature. I stared back, noting his beautiful eyes and hard jaw. It didn’t feel like a staring contest, just mutual interest. Every once in a while, he would lean in and kiss me, but the touch was always gentle and short. Then he would pull away and continued to stare at me.

  The movie ended and neither one of us noticed. The credits passed on the screen. I couldn’t even remember what we were watching. I doubt Pike cared either. Suddenly, he pulled the blanket off me then scooped me into his arms. He carried me upstairs and to his bedroom without saying a word. Then he laid me on his bed.

  I looked up at him, feeling nervous. We’d been dating for a while but it wasn’t that long. Pike didn’t seem to care about the time, and I knew it was irrelevant to him. He wanted this not because he was jumping the gun, but because it felt right.

  He leaned over me and kissed me slowly, and then gradually, he started to peel my clothes away. My hands moved to his body, and I slowly stripped his shirt away then removed his jeans. His body was hard and defined, just like I expected it to be. He gripped my jeans and pulled them off. We looked into each other’s eyes as the clothes fell away.

  When we were naked together, I wrapped my arms around his waist and felt him kiss my neck and chest. My nails dragged down his neck, feeling the concrete hardness underneath. His lips moved to my ear and he breathed hard while he felt me underneath him.

  Then he pulled away and opened his nightstand, finding a foil packet. After he ripped it open, he pulled out the condom then rolled it on.

  I wanted to do this. I really liked Pike. There was something about him that drew me in. But I also felt nervous and scared, like I was doing something I shouldn’t.

  Pike found my lips again, getting ready to move inside me.

  I panicked then moved from underneath him. “Uh, excuse me. I just need a second…” I walked into his bathroom then shut the door. I leaned against it and caught my breath.

  I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Arsen was gone and he didn’t want me anymore. There was no future with him, no possibility of a happily ever after. We were from two different worlds. I told myself this over and over, but it didn’t sway the pain in my heart. I felt like I was cheating on Arsen for some reason. I was holding a vigil for him in my heart when he didn’t deserve it. After everything he did to me, he didn’t deserve to be in my thoughts right now. The second he had the opportunity to be with someone, he would take it. He had a daughter and he didn’t even want to be in her life. Like always, he ran from responsibility and took the easy way out. He was a coward in every sense of the word.

  With that final thought, I left the bathroom and returned to Pike.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Conrad

  I was going to be an employee at Pixel Software. It wasn’t my first choice, but there’s nothing else I wanted to do. And, inexplicably, it what’s my dad really wanted. Perhaps he just wanted his name to be carried on through the company since Skye would marry Cayson and take his last name. I really didn’t know. But I had to help Beatrice and this seemed to be the best way. At least I didn’t have to work directly with Skye. I had a feeling it would be awkward, to say the least.

  I went to Beatrice’s when she was out of school, and saw her sitting at her kitchen table.

  “Hey.” She gave me a brilliant smile then stood up to embrace me. She hugged me hard then kissed me like she missed me desperately.

  I loved it when she greeted me like this. “Hey, baby.”

  “I missed you.” She looked up at me, longing in her eyes.

  “I missed you too.”

  “When are you going to move in?” she pressed.

  I hadn’t told her the bad news. “Ugh, take a seat.”

  Her smile faltered and she did as I asked. “Okay…”

  “I talked to Theo and he can’t afford to lose me right now.” I watched the sadness on her face. “When the studio is open and running, then I can live with you.”

  “Oh.” She nodded her head slowly. “That makes sense.”

  “It’ll only be a few more months. So, we’ll just have to be patient.”

  “That’s fine,” she said. “I’ll manage.”

  “But I can still sleep here every night,” I said. “If that’s okay with you.”

  Her smile returned. “It is.”

  I picked her up from her chair then put her in my lap. She was light as a feather and easy to move around.

  Her arms automatically moved around my neck. “So, this studio is really going to happen?”

  “Yep. We’re looking for a location now.”

  “That sounds exciting,” she said.

  “It is.” My hands moved to her hips and I felt her curves. I knew I had to tell her I’d be working for my dad. She would find it suspicious but I had to do it. “So, I’ve decided to work for my dad after all.” I hoped that sounded convincing.

  She narrowed her eyes while she looked at me. “Why?”

  I shrugged. “My dad says it’s important to him, and I really don’t know what else to do with my life right now.”

  “What about the studio?”

  “I’ll still do that, but it won’t take me many hours a week. It’s just paperwork.”

  She still seemed incredulous. “But I thought you didn’t want to work for the company?”

  I shrugged. “It doesn’t sound so bad. I get to be my own boss, and I can make a nice living. If I went anywhere else, I’d be under someone’s thumb and I wouldn’t have a lot of freedom. My salary would be fixed. At least at Pixel, I can move around if I get bored.”

  “Are you going to be the CEO?”

  “No,” I said quickly. “I’ll probably work in a different department.”

  Beatrice continued to stare at me. “Conrad, do something you want to do. Don’t settle just because you’re scared of what else is out there.”

  Any oth
er woman would be thrilled if I wanted to take the company. Dollar signs would flash in their eyes, and they’d turn green in greed. I was grateful Beatrice wasn’t like that. She loved me for me and no other reason. “It’s not that,” I said. “I want to do this.” I would never tell her it was to get her out of debt.

  “Are you sure?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” I answered. “And if I don’t like it, I can always leave. Nothing is set in stone.”

  “You can always just wait until you find something better.”

  “No,” I said quietly. “Besides, I need security. I want to get married and have kids. I can’t do that and let you make the big bucks.” I flashed her a grin, hoping that put her in a good mood.

  “You think about kids?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Do you?”

  She shrugged. “Sometimes.”

  “I’d love to make beautiful babies with you.” I pulled her closer to me, letting her feel my massive hard-on through my jeans.

  “No, you’d love to practice.”

  I chuckled. “Same difference.”

  She cupped my face and kissed me. “I have a few more things to do. But afterwards, let’s go out.”

  “Okay.” I was annoyed she still had to work, but I didn’t press her. I knew school was important to her and I didn’t want to be the reason her grades suffered. “I’m going to watch TV.” I stood up while holding her and then returned her to the chair. Then I gave her a kiss before I walked away.

  ***

  After we had dinner, we went to a movie. Even though we just ate, Beatrice insisted on getting popcorn. Since I let her do whatever she wanted, I got it for her. She was a picky eater, but when it came to popcorn, she could eat it all day long.

  “I haven’t been to the movies in so long,” she said.

  “Sounds like you need to get a life,” I teased.

  “I know.” She rolled her eyes and sighed at the same time. “I didn’t realize school would take over my life.”

  “It’ll pay off later.”

  “Hopefully, it’ll pay off my loans.” She laughed but it wasn’t genuine.

  After the movie, we headed back to her apartment.

  “Did you like it?” I asked.