by M J Hardy
Smiling to myself, I reach for my phone and scroll to the photos. As the image flashes on the screen, I feel my heart harden. Yes, it was the right thing to do.
As I look at the photo, I’ve always had of Eddie and myself, I see the likeness. Eddie was clean shaven; Tom has a beard. Eddie’s hair was shorter and his expression more confident. His arm is around my shoulders and I can see the watch glinting at the camera. Then I see the same shirt that I saw Tom wearing on the day of the barbeque and I smile to myself. Yes, Tom was Eddie, he always was. I always had this photograph, and I lied to Karen. I wanted to see if Tom regained his memory after that night he was attacked. I knew one day he would recognise me and it would all come out. Then things happened, and it ceased to matter anymore.
The key turns in the lock and I look up with a smile on my face that quickly fades when I see the expression on his face. As he heads inside, I feel the nerves flutter inside as Harry sits down wearily and says, “I couldn’t tell her.”
Moving across, I kneel before him and take his hands in mine. “I understand.”
Shaking his head, he says tightly, “I need to know what happened with Tina, Isabel.”
I feel my face fall and know she told him. I suppose I knew it would come out, but I didn’t want anything to spoil what was growing so fast between us.
Moving to the seat on the other side facing him, I say sadly, “Tina had a few too many drinks. It wasn’t unusual because she was hurting so badly. I just wanted to be a friend to her, you know, make things a little better for her. We had a lovely evening, and I told her I wanted to head home when she suggested a wine bar. Instead, she offered to make me a coffee at her house and I didn’t think it would matter as I was dropping her off, anyway. Well, she was so sad and I didn’t want to leave her, so I agreed to stay the night.”
I almost can’t look at Harry’s face as I whisper, “I slept with her because I felt sorry for her. I didn’t mean it to happen and when I woke up, I was mortified. I’ve never kissed another woman, and I didn’t want to. The trouble is, Tina was quite forceful, and I didn’t feel as if I had a choice.”
Harry shouts, “She forced you?”
Wincing, I shake my head. “Sort of. I was so afraid because she was the only friend I had. I didn’t want her to push me away, so well - I just let her.”
I start to cry and Harry crosses the room and takes me in his arms, stroking the back of my head as he pulls me close. “It’s ok, darling, I’m sorry to ask.”
I feel weak as I lean against him for support and he whispers, “I understand. It must have been difficult for you and I want you to know I still love you.”
Leaning back, I say roughly, “It was before you and I, well… you know.”
He smiles sweetly. “It’s fine, you don’t have to say another word. It explains a lot though.”
“What?”
“The reason why you wanted to move in with me so quickly and change your phone. You know, you could have told me you were going sick to escape from my ex. I would have helped if I’d known.”
Burying my face in his chest, I feel my heart racing as I say softly, “I’m sorry, Harry, I should have told you. No more secrets from now on.”
He lowers his lips to mine and says gruffly, “I love you Isabel.”
My eyes fill with happy tears as I whisper, “I love you too, Harry.”
As we kiss, I feel as if I’ve made it home at last. Everything that’s happened in the last year, with Eddie, Tom, Karen and Tina has led me to this point. Harry and I have a future together in Milton Keynes and Jamie too. I love him like my own son and we will do everything we can to make a happy home for him. I feel a little guilty about Tina but all is fair in love and war and she didn’t deserve Harry. She had her chance, and she blew it and I was only too happy to take him away from her.
As I pull away, Harry smiles lovingly. “You know, I can’t wait to start my life with you.”
Nodding, I pat my stomach and say in a whisper, “When will you tell Tina about the baby?”
He pulls me close and says softly, “When she’s better and able to deal with it. Now isn’t the time, which is why it’s best we move away.”
“But Jamie?”
He shakes his head sadly. “We will have to keep it from him for a few months. I don’t like doing it but I’m not going to make things worse until she gets better. It’s a difficult one.”
Then he smiles and says brightly, “Anyway, we will deal with that when we have to. What we need now are food and an early night. We have an early start tomorrow and I can’t wait to leave this place.”
As I head to the kitchen, I have a huge smile on my face. Yes, it won’t be an easy ride but we will take the journey as a team. I didn’t intend to steal Harry but fate had a hand in it and here we are. Tina will be fine once the dust settles and she gets used to the idea. Jamie will have a brother or sister and belong to two families who love him very much.
As I stir the pot, I hum a happy tune. Family, after all, is everything.
35
Karen
The blue lights flash as the police car crawls along the street. I wonder where they are destined to stop because this time, I know it’s not us. Tom and Jack are playing on the computer upstairs, so I look with curiosity as the car edges along the street.
I hope it’s not Tina. It took me most of the night to comfort her after Harry left. My heart ached for her when she told me he was leaving. I’d heard a rumour he was seeing someone else but hoped it was just malicious gossip. I still hope it is because more than anything, I want the two of them to get back together and life back to what it was, for all their sakes.
The clock chimes 7 pm and my heart stills as the car parks in a space outside in the road. I feel it thumping hard as I watch the two officers exit the car and start walking. They’re coming this way but may pass. It could be Mrs Ironside next door, maybe her husband has had an accident, or worse.
Then in my heart, I already know as they stop outside our front gate and start walking the short distance up the path. I say nothing and just open the door before they can ring the bell and say anxiously, “May I help you?”
The officer’s look uncomfortable and I wonder if it’s my parents. Have they had an accident? My heart beats wildly as I wait for their words to find me, as I imagine every scenario possible in those brief seconds before they speak.
The officer says, “Does a Tom Mahoney live here?”
The blood freezes in my veins as I nod and call, “Tom, can you come here for a minute?”
He shouts down the stairs, “Can’t it wait, I’m close to level 4?”
I smile nervously at the officers and say, “No, it can’t I’m afraid.”
I wince as he curses and then we hear his footsteps thumping on the ceiling above and he appears at the top of the stairs.
I think I’ll never forget the look on his face as he comes down them. He looks devastated.
Before he even addresses the officers, he says quickly, “Go and sit with Jack. I’ll come and find you later.”
“But…”
He says harshly, “Now.”
Feeling confused, I head upstairs to keep Jack occupied while he speaks to the officers and know in my heart that something bad has happened.
Jack looks up as I enter and I smile shakily, “Sorry, honey. Daddy has some business to sort out and asked if I’d take his place.”
I don’t miss the disappointment on Jack’s face as he groans, “You’re nowhere near as good as he is.”
Rolling my eyes, I pretend to be hurt. “Thanks, Jack, you know how to make your mum feel great.”
He shrugs and carries on with his game but I can’t concentrate on anything else other than what may be happening downstairs.
It must only be ten minutes later when Tom pokes his head around the door and says apologetically, “I’ve got to go out, I won’t be long.”
Jack nods and carries on with his game and I follow him out of the
room, whispering, “What is it, Tom? Are you in some kind of trouble?”
He shakes his head and looks upset. “I’m sorry, Karen, for everything. Listen, let me deal with the police and when I get back, we’ll talk then.”
“But…”
He shakes his head. “Not now. I won’t be long.”
I stand at the top of the stairs and watch as Tom grabs his coat and accompanies the officers outside. The looks on all of their faces are grave and whatever has happened is serious because when Tom looked at me, I could see it in his eyes. Something is worrying him and when he gets back, I’m not sure if I want to hear what it is.
The phone rings interrupting my thoughts and I grab it quickly. “Yes?”
“Karen, what’s happening, are Tom and Jack ok?”
“Yes, fine...um, Tom had to go with them but I don’t know why.”
Tina says firmly, “I’m coming over.”
Before I can tell her not to, the line is cut and I stand waiting to give an explanation on something I don’t know the first thing about.
The next knock on the door is Tina’s, and she brings Jamie with her who true to form shoots past me straight upstairs.
I smile at her gratefully as she says, “There, that should keep them occupied while we talk about this.”
We head into the kitchen for the all healing cup of tea and she says, “Why do the police want to speak to Tom?”
I say in a worried voice, “I don’t know. He told me he would tell me when he returned. I’m scared though, Tina. What if he’s done something?”
“Like what?” She laughs in disbelief.
Shrugging, I face her with trepidation. “There is something, I can feel it. I suppose I’ve always known there is but could never put my finger on it.”
She looks confused. “What do you mean?”
Sitting down, I put my head in my hands. “He’s been different, Tina. Ever since the night he was mugged, he seemed different.”
“In what way?”
“I don’t know, better I suppose. He was like the old Tom I married. Kind, attentive, loving, all the things he lost sight of over the years. I thought maybe the trauma had made him re-evaluate things but what if something else happened that night that changed him? Maybe he did something so terrible it altered him forever.”
Tina laughs in disbelief. “Tom - do something terrible. Never. He may have been a complete asshole back then, but he was never… well, you know… dangerous.”
Despite myself, I laugh. “Dangerous?”
She giggles. “The way you’re talking, it’s as if you think he murdered someone. No, whatever this is, Tom will have a rational explanation. Just make sure you text me when you know what it is because I won’t sleep a wink until I know.”
I look at her in concern. “How are things, have you got over the shock yet?”
I see the pain in her eyes as she shakes her head sadly. “It’s hard, Karen. I thought things would get back to normal but they never will be again. It’s only been less than a week since Harry left but I miss him so much it hurts. Do you think he’ll ever come back to me?”
I try to reassure her even though I can’t think straight. “Of course, he will. Just give him time and he’ll soon realise what he’s missing.”
As we sit contemplating the mess our lives have fallen into, we don’t notice the time until Jack comes down and says wearily, “Can Jamie stay tonight?”
Looking at the clock, I jump up and shake my head. “Goodness is that the time. Maybe we should let Tina and Jamie head home, you do have school in the morning, after all.”
Jack groans and Tina shouts, “Jamie, home!”
As Jamie thunders downstairs, Tina hugs me and whispers, “It will all be fine. I just know it.”
I smile shakily but know in my heart things will never be the same again.
36
Tom & Eddie
As I stand waiting, I think my life flashes before my eyes. I always knew I would be standing here one day. In my heart, I’ve always known because even from an early age I knew we were so different, despite looking identical.
The police officer pulls back the sheet and I see him. Cold, lifeless and unfeeling. In death, as he was in life. My twin brother.
I nod and the officer says sympathetically, “Do you need more time?”
Shaking my head, I turn away. “No - thank you.”
The officer replaces the sheet and I follow him out of the mortuary. I don’t look back and any feelings I may ever have had for that man lying dead on the slab, died that night.
The officer takes me to a room and pushes a Styrofoam cup of tea in my direction and says sympathetically, “I’m sorry for your loss.”
As I sample the hot tea, I just nod. “Thank you.”
He sits awkwardly and pushes a box towards me. “These are all the possessions we found of his. We thought you would want them.”
As I look at the box, I shake my head and say sadly, “Not much to show for a life, is it?”
“No, I don’t suppose it is.”
The officer clears his throat. “I expect you have many questions.”
Reaching out, I draw the box towards me and say dully, “What was the cause of death?”
“Drowning. He left a note and the items of clothes that are in the box before you. His wallet gave us his identity enabling us to trace you, although it took a little time to find him after he was reported missing.”
I look at him in surprise. “Who reported it?”
“An Isabel Rawlins, his fiancée.”
I feel the anger flooding through me as I think of my brother with Isabel. He was a bastard to the end, and it’s no wonder she came looking for him.
The officer shakes his head. “Maybe I shouldn’t say it but it appears as if she had a lucky escape.”
As I raise my eyes to his, he says nervously, “I’m sorry, but it appears your brother was into all sorts of dodgy dealings. He rented a flat that he hardly ever stayed in. We think he just used it to secure credit cards and loans because he is leaving a shitload of debt behind him. I’m not surprised he killed himself when you think about who he owed money to.”
“Who?”
“Known criminals who run illegal gambling syndicates. They’re into all kinds, prostitution, pornography and illegal trafficking not to mention drugs. If your brother owed them money, he didn’t have long to live.”
I say gruffly, “Do you think they had a hand in his death?”
The officer shakes his head. “No. I doubt it because he’s better off to them alive. They won’t get anything now he’s dead, it’s not their style. No, it’s more likely he took the easy way out rather than be drafted into their world. Maybe he did it to protect his girlfriend, although why he never went to her family for help, I’ll never know.”
I stare at him in surprise. “Her family? Why, what could they have done to help him?”
Leaning forward, the officer whispers, “The Rawlins family are just as corrupt, if not more so. No other crime family would go against them, it wouldn’t be worth the trouble. If your brother had gone to them with his problems, they would have protected him because to them, family is everything.”
His words surprise me because I never thought of Isabel being some sort of mafia princess. She just doesn’t look the type.
I turn to the officer and say dully, “May I leave now, shall I arrange for the undertakers to collect his body?”
The officer nods. “Of course. We aren’t treating his death as suspicious, so you are free to bury him, the poor soul.”
As I shake his hand, I smile gratefully. “Thank you. We’ll be in touch when I’ve arranged an undertaker.”
The officer accompanies me to the door and shakes his head. “You know, despite your beard, you’re the spitting image of each other. Uncanny really.”
I smile. “That’s twins for you, especially identical ones. However, we are very different in personality, one good, one not so.”
/> I walk away with the officer’s laughter ringing in my ears. Yes, Tom Mahoney was a very different man to Edward Mahoney which is why he asked for my help on that fateful night.
I get a cab back from the station and think about the last time I saw my brother. I had just returned from a long trip overseas and was desperate for some sleep in a comfortable bed. I just didn’t expect to find my brother in it with some woman he picked up from the Internet. As I close my eyes it all comes flooding back.
37
The woman screams as I flick on the light and stare in surprise at the two figures naked in my bed.
I roar, “What the hell is going on?”
His laughter mocks me as he rolls off the woman and smirks. “Good to see you, bro. Fancy sharing, it wouldn’t be the first time.”
The woman shrieks and I say angrily, “Get out, both of you.”
I watch as she jumps from the bed, gathering up her clothes, shouting, “Fucking perverts! I’m going to report you to the dating service for this, creep.”
My brother just laughs like a madman as she pushes past me and it’s not until the door slams that I snarl, “That includes you too, get out!”
He shrugs and leaves the bed, totally naked and stretches with contentment. “It’s a shame you interrupted that. She was one of my more adventurous partners.”
Shaking my head, I snarl, “I don’t give a fuck about your sex life. I just want to sleep in my own bed and forget I’ve even got a brother.”
I don’t miss the look in his eyes as he pulls on his jeans and my sixth sense kicks in. “What’s that look for?”
He looks worried which instantly makes me very worried. “Listen, bro, I think I need to warn you about something.”
“What?”
He sits on the side of the bed and says in a strangely apologetic voice, “I didn’t mean for this to happen?”
The alarm bells ring as I say, “What, you’re in trouble again, aren’t you?”
